40. Meadow
Chapter 40
Meadow
November, Los Angeles
I tried to focus on one emotion at a time.
At the moment, my primary emotion was relief. It didn’t look like anything was wrong with the baby, and the doctors had cleared me to go home. I wasn’t even sure what home would look like. For weeks, that had been the tour bus, but I had been strictly ordered to stay somewhere I could relax and attend regular medical care. The pack had been up in arms for the past two days, talking with the police about Gary and Ellie.
Relief gave way to fury.
Those two could have cost me everything. And for what ?
Ellie might not have intended to give me what she was giving Hendrix, but they had found sedatives in his system that had already been mostly cleared from mine, which meant I had been getting dosed with something , just not narcotics. It explained why I had been struggling so much with the traveling, why I was perpetually exhausted and nauseated more than my pregnancy called for.
I hated them.
They hadn’t been punished yet, but the pack had assured me repeatedly that they would be. Everything had been reported to the police, Gary had been fired, and Hendrix was gearing up to go to rehab as soon as we returned to California.
He appeared at my door, his face haunted, his eyes shadowed. His voice was rough as he croaked out my name. “Meadow. How are you feeling?”
He glanced briefly at Arlo, who was fast asleep in the chair in the corner of the room.
“I’ve been better.” I didn’t say the words with any venom, but he flinched nonetheless.
Hendrix kneeled at my bedside, taking my hand. “I’m so sorry.”
He had said as much, hundreds of times, since everything had come to light.
“I know.” I cupped his cheek, and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. I knew it wasn’t his fault, but my anger over the situation still sat like a lead ball in my chest. I couldn’t tell him it was okay, and I couldn’t offer him absolution.
“Please don’t hate me,” he whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sor?—”
“I don’t hate you.”
It wasn’t the first time in recent memory he had collapsed into tears at my bedside. Gary had hurt him, betrayed him, and it broke my heart to see him like this, but it wasn’t something I could fix.
He laid his palm against my belly, Nugget kicking like they could sense Hendrix needed the reassurance they were okay. I needed it too. I savored every impact of a tiny foot against my ribs or a little punch to my bladder. I put my hand over Hendrix’s. I felt every ounce of his devastation through the bond, and he felt mine in return. Honestly, I wished I could turn it off. I didn’t have enough space for my own grief over the situation, let alone his. That wasn’t his fault, either. He couldn’t stop the bond any more than I could.
“Hey.” Beckett’s quiet voice came from the doorway, and I turned to him. “The car will be here in a few minutes, and then we’ll go to the airport. Our chartered plane is ready to go.”
I nodded. “Where are Clover and Phin?”
“He took her back to her hotel to get all of her things. They’re going to meet us at the airport, and Clover’s commercial flight back to Seattle is about an hour after ours leaves. You’ll see her before she goes, and we’ll fly her back out for a visit as soon as you’re ready for her,” he promised.
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
Beckett held up a bag. “I got you some fresh clothing.”
Hendrix helped me change out of my hospital gown. It was nice to be in real clothes again.
Beckett was sitting on the foot of the bed when I turned back to him. “Everything is ready for your nest at the pack house. I packed all of your nest essentials from the bus, and everything else was packaged to be shipped express.”
He had really stepped up the last few days. Beckett had always had some serious daddy energy, but now he was in full dad mode, and I was so fucking grateful I didn’t have to worry about a single thing with him at the helm.
When we got to the airport, Clover stuck to me like a barnacle. “You call me for literally anything. I mean it. Middle of the night, middle of class, I don’t fucking care. You call.”
“I will.”
“You promise?”
I held up my pinky, and Clover hooked hers around it, tears streaking down her cheeks.
I let the pack usher me onto the chartered plane. Exhaustion weighed so heavily on me, I could barely appreciate the luxury. I napped on and off in the leather chairs, accepting snacks and water from whichever pack member happened to be closest to me whenever I woke.
As soon as we landed, Hendrix would be leaving. The thought of going home without him left a sour taste in my mouth, but we all knew he needed to go. Even if he hadn’t been taking things willingly, the drugs had still been taking a toll on his body, habituating him to their presence over his years of consumption. He needed help that we couldn’t give him, and I was proud of him for finally taking that step, even if I wished it had been taken years ago.
I hadn’t realized what this was like for him until he had broken down, sobbing, confessing he didn’t even know what normal felt like anymore, so how could he protect me if he couldn’t tell that someone was dosing him with something that had made me collapse?
His fear filtered through the bond, a constant buzz of anxiety overlaying dark terror. We all knew detoxing wouldn’t be pleasant, but it was a necessary step.
“Be safe,” he said to me as we stepped off our chartered plane, a vehicle to the rehab clinic already waiting for him. “Please let them take care of you. Meadow, I’m so sorry. I lov?—”
I growled. “Don’t you fucking dare say that to me right now. You keep those words in your mouth until you come back home to me, to us , okay?”
Hendrix swallowed hard but nodded. I watched in agonized silence as he left with the clinic team and we went our separate way to the pack house.
The new nest felt too sterile, so I had Beckett and Phin roll around in it for me while Arlo made me some peanut butter toast in the kitchen.
“You’ve been so quiet, princess. It’s kind of freaking me out.”
“Sorry,” I muttered. “Just tired.”
Hendrix’s panic had my heart pounding, and I squeezed my eyes shut against it.
“Whoa there, what’s going on?”
“He’s really scared,” I whispered. I wanted to be there for him, but everyone had insisted being around a detoxing alpha was no place for a pregnant omega. “Arlo…”
He folded me into his arms, and I sucked in deep breaths of his apple cider scent, trying to let it drown out everything tumbling through the bond. The doctor had told us that me taking another bond would help stabilize me during this process. I wanted Arlo, even if it felt a bit shitty to ask for him right now. The universe didn’t really care about the timelines of us mere mortals. Bonding the rest of the pack in my first heat after the baby was born would be ideal, but I wasn’t in any place emotionally to endure what Hendrix would be going through.
“My bond is yours the second you ask for it,” Arlo promised. “I’d have given it to you months ago.”
I had wanted him from the moment we had met, and now was no different, even if my desire needed to be unburied.
“Take me to the nest. Help me christen it?”
“I’m always available for that.” His kiss was soft at first, ramping up when I dragged him closer, moaning into his mouth. The surge of his apple cider scent made it even easier to lay down emotional bricks in the bond. I needed the distraction of him, needed to immerse myself in how good we were together, how easy it was for him to give me everything I needed.
I stumbled after him as he pulled me toward the nest, breathless with anticipation, my instincts preparing me for what was to come. My alpha was going to take care of me. That care might look different from what some people would expect me to need, but it was a sweet reminder that, no matter how fucked up the world was, we still had this connection.
Beckett and Phin both turned to look at us as we entered. Beckett was stretched out in the nest, and Phin was wearing one of my blankets like a cape, jogging in place.
“Do you want them to stay, princess?” Arlo asked.
I was only going to take one bond today, but the thought of Beckett and Phin being included in any capacity had my perfume erupting. “Stay.”
Beckett moved over in the nest, and Phin tossed the blanket onto it, climbing in as well. Having their gazes on me made it even easier to slip into the mindset I needed. My body knew what to do, and I was ready for this connection to Arlo, even if it was earlier than expected.
He brushed my hair to the side, his lips dropping to my shoulder and making their way up my throat. My breath stuttered, slick pooling between my thighs when he nipped my earlobe and swept his hands down my body, lifting my dress up and over my head. Watching the heat in Beckett’s and Phin’s eyes made me feel vulnerable and desired all at once.
“Can we touch, too, sweets? Or just watch?”
Reaching toward them with a pitiful whine was answer enough. The three of them stripped me out of what little clothing remained on my body, and I closed my eyes, taking in the sensation of hands everywhere, mouths worshiping my skin. I climbed to the edge of the nest, my feet on the floor as I balanced my hand on Phin’s head when he lifted one of my legs, propping my thigh to rest on his shoulder. Beckett dove in, his tongue sweeping through my slick folds, and Phin tucked a pair of fingers into my pussy while Arlo took his sweet time cupping my breasts and sucking the sensitive spots on my throat.
The three of them brought me to a quick, devastating rise that took my legs right out from under me. They caught me before I hit the ground and carried me over to the nest, spreading me out where Beckett continued his feast and Arlo took his fill from my lips.
The screaming of Hendrix’s panic had faded to a whisper, and I hoped the pleasure his pack was giving me would offset some of his fears, even if he wasn’t here to participate.
Once they had sent me spiraling over the edge one more time, Arlo ordered the others to sit at the headboard and me to brace my hands there. Somehow, being face-to-face with them, having all that intense eye contact while Arlo finger-fucked me to prep me for his cock, was even more intimate than when they had been inside me.
Phin caught my chin and drew me in for a searing kiss. “You are the most perfect omega in the world.”
Beckett stole me for his own kiss, and I moaned into his mouth as Arlo began to work his cock into me. “Good girl, letting your alphas take care of you.”
My cheeks flushed with warmth, and I closed my eyes against the intensity in theirs. With expert hands, they teased every inch of me while Arlo rode me at the perfect pace and precise angle to ruin me. Bit by bit, reality narrowed down to only the alphas in my nest.
They were exactly what I needed.
Arlo’s teeth sinking into my skin at the same moment he fucked in hard, his knot swelling, had my perfume erupting. I melted into bliss, the first tingles of awareness from the half-formed bond brushing against my mind.
“Give me a good bite, princess,” Arlo said, holding out his forearm. “I’m gonna get a tattoo around it later to show it off.”
I bit down sharply on the skin that was right in front of my mouth. Arlo burst through the bond instantly, bright and sweet and chaotic. All that he was wrapped around me like a shield, holding me safe and warm.
Affection pulsed like a heartbeat from him, the well of it bottomless. He hadn’t said it, but it was like a neon sign with the bond in place.
Holy shit.
Arlo nuzzled my cheek. “I love you.”
Overwhelmed, but with happy tears sliding down my cheeks, I whispered back, “I love you, too.”