Chapter 18
Dazed and Confused as Ever
TRE
I watch Fiona stomp away, dumbstruck.
She was going to hook up with Kyle. But then she stopped? Because she wanted me? And she never came to see me? She didn’t even want to tell me today. How is Fiona Carson the most infuriatingly frustrating person alive? How come I can’t get her out of my mind?
I turn my back to the group and start packing the cooking gear. They can eat whatever Fiona made and live with it for the day.
“Hey wait,” Cade calls. “I didn’t get any breakfast yet.”
I drop the cooler I’m holding and round on him.
“You also didn’t get any fucking brains!
” I step forward and shove him back. “You knew what happened the whole time we talked and didn’t say a damn word?
You let me be pissed when you could have just told me she didn’t hook up with him.
But you were gonna tell me right here in front of everyone!
What the hell is wrong with you, Cade? You wanted to embarrass her on purpose?
You wanted to embarrass me? I thought we were friends! ”
“Relax man. It was funny.”
“Did Fiona seem like she thought it was funny? Do you think I’m having fun right now? Look around. Is anyone laughing? You can starve, asshole.”
Jordan walks up behind Cade and puts a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away.
I return to slamming the kitchen equipment around until it’s ready to be stowed in the raft.
Everyone has finished their food and returned to their respective tents, or at least left the shared space.
I take a few deep breaths. Cade was an asshole, but it’s not truly him that has me worked up.
I look toward Fiona’s tent, but I can’t see her.
Ewan makes eye contact but doesn’t walk over to talk.
It’s for the best. He engineered this get-together. I’ll let Fiona take his head off.
I need to pack my gear, but I detour to Kyle on the way.
He’s stuffing his tent poles into their bag as I clear my throat.
“Hey Kyle. I’m sorry about all that.” I nod toward the campfire.
“Fiona was right. What either of you do, or don’t do, is none of my business.
I shouldn’t have flipped out like that.”
“We’re all good.”
I nod and go break down my tent.
I’m the last to make it to the raft. It’s halfway in the water with Kyle strapping everything in place. After I toss my gear in, Jordan elbows Cade, who pulls me aside.
“Look, Tre, I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have treated it like a joke.”
“Alright man, thanks. But in the future, not every single thing has to be a joke. If someone’s already upset, you shouldn’t try to humiliate them. That’s across the line from funny.”
“Yeah. I… yeah.”
“Come on. Let’s finish this trip,” I say and walk back to the raft. We drag it fully into the river, where Kyle, Jordan, and Cade take their seats in the back. Lucas and I pull the raft until the water is mid-thigh, then join them.
Kyle gives the safety briefing for our final day while we paddle out to the channel to catch the current.
“… And we should reach the take-out landing around one o’clock, so we won’t bother stopping today. It’s about an hour and a half drive back to town, where we’ll grab a late lunch.”
“What?” Cade complains. “That’s forever, Kyle! I didn’t get any breakfast. We need to get some food.”
The entire raft resounds with a chorus of, “Shut up!”
I glance at the end of the counter again. The laptop remains closed, and Connor is smiling neutrally at an older couple en route to a table who’ve stopped to inform him of who they know is behind the bombings.
I return my attention to the grill, pulling the next order. It’s his. A cheeseburger with hash browns. Interesting choice.
Jackie swoops in to add a ticket to the rail, snatches up the waiting plates, and vanishes. At five-thirty on Monday, the dinner crowd is picking up.
When Connor’s meal is ready, I carry it to him myself. Walt is grumbling something I can’t make out as he vacates the seat next to Connor.
“I don’t think you’ll get much work done at this time of night,” I tell him, nodding at his laptop.
“You’re probably right. Safer to keep it with me than leave it in the car, though.”
“You seem to be making a lot of friends.”
He laughs. “I don’t know what I get more of: hot tips about who’s responsible or people trying to pry information out of me.”
“Well, that’s the trouble with being in gossip central,” I reply, grinning. “You’re part of it now. And we’ve never had an ATF agent in town before.”
“Fair enough.” He smiles ruefully. “But I’ve got to eat somewhere. I can’t just order pizza every night.”
Everyone’s eyes are locked on us. When it’s not their turn to talk to Special Agent Smith, they’re intent on eavesdropping. “I guess you didn’t take my advice to stay at Mrs. Larson’s. She’d cook dinner for you.”
“I wish, but I’d never get the bureau to approve my expense report for a bed-and-breakfast.”
Hmm. Maybe he’s not spying on me. Maybe he is just hungry. Kalomish isn’t overburdened with restaurants, after all. Maybe I shouldn’t be so paranoid.
“Well, good luck fending off the crowds,” I say with a nod before heading back to the waiting orders.
“Yeah, thanks.”
I check my watch again. It’s exactly nine o’clock.
Closing time. No more excuses. Ewan has been hanging out at the counter for the last two hours trying to talk with me.
It was easy to avoid this conversation initially, with the end of the dinner rush happening.
As time passed and fewer people came in to eat, I’ve been running out of minor tasks I can use to pretend I’m busy.
It’s Tuesday, and he’s the only patron left at the counter where Sandy’s completing her side work.
When I step away from the grill, she’s working closer to him than necessary.
I imagine she’s trying to hint that it’s past time to leave, unaware that it’s pointless, at least with him tonight.
I resign myself to the inevitable and give her a break.
“Hey Sandy, if you take care of the front door, I’ll finish up everything else and you can take off.”
She pauses, looking at me quizzically. “The door? Aren’t you gonna…?” She glances between me and the counter.
“Ewan’s here for me.”
“Oh. Well you could have said something, Tre.” Sandy throws her hands up as she walks to the front door. She locks it and flips the signs while I wait for her at the back. Sandy says goodnight to Ewan and then goes to the small office to collect her purse and jacket.
“There’s always someone who wants to hang around until closing,” she tells me as she passes. I watch the parking lot until she’s in her car and then close the door before returning to the counter where Ewan is still seated, sipping his coffee.
“Okay, you clearly want to talk. It’s just us, so talk,” I tell him.
“There he is! That’s a lot more than the shrugs and monosyllabic answers I’ve been getting all night.”
“Yeah, well, you cause problems and people get pissed at you. That’s kind of how it works.”
“Alright, fine. I am sorry that my Fourth of July plans led to so much drama. It really didn’t go the way I thought it would.”
“Yeah, no shit,” I mutter. “So, if that wasn’t what you intended, what was your goal?”
“I told you last weekend. I’m sick of being a proxy for you two fighting with each other.”
“Yeah, you said. And I’m sure that’s real, as far as it goes. That was a lot of plotting just to get us to stop bitching, though.”
“You think I was trying to set you up with my sister?” Ewan scoffs. “My sister, who wouldn’t even use your name because insulting you by calling you Dickie amused her? Why did she stop that, by the way?”
I grab a rag and start wiping the counter to buy some time. “I told you a few weeks ago I tried smoothing things over with her,” I reply without looking up.
“That’s true, you did. You were pretty weird about it, too.”
“Just because I decided to make peace, it doesn’t mean she has.”
“Uh huh.”
“I couldn’t understand at the time why she kept getting angry no matter what I said.
And after you explained, I wasn’t able to talk to her again until that night at the campsite,” I say, setting the rag down so I can marry two almost-empty ketchup bottles.
I can’t explain to Ewan that I did exactly that, and botched it, because I can’t tell him anything that might lead to him finding out where we’ve been together.
“Ah, so I was right to set it all up. You’re welcome.” Ewan grins. “Wait, if I gave you everything you needed, why the hell are you angry at me?”
I close the lid of the ketchup bottle and toss the empty one before looking at him.
He’s not wrong. Things are screwed up between me and Fiona, and he made a convenient scapegoat, but the problems aren’t his fault.
“Fiona confuses me,” I admit, “and this weekend made everything so much more jumbled up.”
Ewan considers for a moment before asking, “Did something happen with you two? Weeks ago, I mean.”
“No! You saw how angry she still was out there.”
“Yeah, but I also heard what we all heard Sunday morning.”
My face heats, and goosebumps rise on my forearms. “Like I said, very confusing. I really didn’t expect that either.”
His eyes narrow, but stay fixed on me. “But you were extremely upset that morning when you thought she boned Kyle. Like, ‘threw a fit and stormed off’ upset.”
I move over to the still-hot grill and start scraping it clean.
“Then you ripped Cade a new one for embarrassing Fi.” After a pause where I don’t respond, Ewan asks, “Tre, do you have a thing for my sister?”
I continue scraping the cooktop—which by now is thoroughly clean—with my back to him.
“Holy shit!” Ewan shouts, then starts laughing.
I whip around, and he’s doubled over, grasping the countertop to stay on his stool. “What the hell are you laughing at?” I grumble, sounding churlish even to myself.