Chapter 17 #2
I bring my mind back to the present. To the here and now.
To Kyle, whose hands have slid under my shirt.
The calluses on his palms are rough against my skin as they skim over my ribs.
I arch into him as he moves to pull my shirt off, releasing my grip on his hair, which isn’t as soft as Tre’s, I notice distractedly as I lift my arms. Once my shirt is off, Kyle strips off his own, tossing it on the floor.
I pull our bodies back together, and the skin of his chest is warm against mine.
I move one hand to his ass as I drop the other to stroke him through the front of his pants, and he groans.
He’s already hard and rocks his hips forward enthusiastically.
His hands slide under my bra, cupping my boobs and…
There’s nothing here. No heat. No thrill. No desire.
“Stop. Stop.” I pull away and step back as Kyle’s hands fall from my body. Shit. I don’t want just anyone. The realization hits me hard. “Sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could, but… Fuck.”
There’s disappointment on Kyle’s face as he asks, “Tre?”
“Goddamnit,” I mutter. “Is it that obvious?”
Kyle shrugs as he bends down, reaching for his shirt and passing mine to me. “Probably not to most people, but I pay attention.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeat as I put my shirt on. “I thought I could… I thought maybe if I was with someone else…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” But it feels anything but fine as he says, “Have a good night,” and turns to leave.
It’s sometime after one in the morning, and I’m staring out the mesh top of my tent, looking at the stars, trying to contend with a new reality.
A reality in which I can no longer deny I want Tre.
And maybe for more than a single night. Kyle is an attractive guy, and I had my hand wrapped around his dick, and I felt nothing.
Meanwhile, Tre looks at me, and my heart beats faster.
He kisses me, and it’s all I can do to remember to breathe.
I’m not even sure I like him, but I can’t deny I want him.
I feel like an ass for inviting Kyle to my tent and noping out on him the second things started to get real, which is stupid, and I know that it’s stupid. It’s only… ugh.
This trip is a disaster.
Goddamn Ewan. Fratricide is wrong, but I’ll be damned if I haven’t considered half a dozen ways to kill my brother since I’ve been lying here alone, regretting every decision I’ve ever made.
“More,” someone moans loudly from the next tent.
“Like this?” another male voice questions teasingly.
I press my pillow over my face, but it doesn’t drown out the moaning. Finally, I fling it away and shout, “Unless you want to invite me to participate in the fun, I’d suggest you shut the fuck up!”
“Oh, someone didn’t get any,” the voice—I recognize it as Cade now—calls back, leaving me considering the merits of homicide. This is clear provocation. Surely a jury would see that? I think as I grab my sleeping bag and storm back to the firepit.
The fire is out, and I set my sleeping bag down in front of the log I was sitting on earlier and lean against it. Tre’s tent is about fifty yards in the distance. It’s dark and quiet. I consider going over to it, but I don’t. Instead, I simply sit before the burnt-out fire, sulking.
I jolt awake. The sun hasn’t risen yet, but the sky is brighter. There’s mist hanging in the air and dew coating the outside of my sleeping bag. I push myself upright, away from the log, rubbing the side of my neck where a crick has formed.
There’s a loud bang, and I jump. What the hell? I wonder, looking around to find Tre standing in front of a cooler he just slammed shut or threw at the ground or whatever he did to wake the dead.
“Could you be a little louder?” I croak.
He mutters something under his breath. I can’t quite make out the words, and it’s too early for me to care.
“Is there any coffee?”
“No,” he snaps.
“God. And I thought I wasn’t a morning person,” I grumble, grabbing my sleeping bag as I stand to walk to my tent. There’s some instant coffee in my pack somewhere.
By the time I return, wearing clean clothes with a jar of instant coffee and a camp mug in hand, Tre has rebuilt the fire.
There’s a pot of water boiling above it.
I dip my mug in, filling it, then dump in a generous amount of instant coffee.
I stare at the mug dubiously and add in a little more before swirling it.
I should’ve brought a spoon. Oh well. It’s going to taste awful no matter what. Instant coffee always does.
“What’re you doing?” I finally ask Tre. He’s still standing in front of the cooler, only now the lid is open and he’s staring into it.
“Nothing.”
“You need any help with that nothing?” I inquire. Everyone else is still asleep. Or at least they haven’t crawled out of their sleeping bags yet.
“No.” Tre slams the lid on the cooler again, and Ewan comes staggering out of his tent.
“What’s with all the banging?” Ewan groggily glances between me and Tre. Apparently Ewan and I are both lighter sleepers than everyone else.
“Dunno.” I shrug.
“Is there any coffee?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Tre snarls.
“Here.” I toss the jar to Ewan.
He catches it. “Thanks,” he replies, coming to sit next to me as Tre stomps off. “What’s his problem?”
“No clue. He’s been like that since before I woke up. I just figured he wasn’t a morning person.” I blow on my coffee.
Ewan grunts noncommittally and then wanders off in search of a mug.
As much as I’m not a morning person, my brother has more or less built his entire life around never needing to be awake before nine a.m. By the time Ewan returns with Lucas trailing him, Kelly and Cath are sitting next to me on the log.
Ewan looks at the pot of water, then at the jar of instant coffee in his hand, considering it for a moment before dumping the entire jar into the pot.
“Hey!” I complain.
“It’s the last day, sis. You can get more,” Ewan says as he swirls the pot and then dips his mug in.
Lucas does the same, takes a sip, and states, “This is awful.” I nod as he takes another sip.
We’re all quiet after that, but the birds get louder and louder until Tess, Jordan, Cade, and Kyle finally join us.
“Where’s Tre?” Cade asks, looking at me like I’ll know.
“No clue.” It seems like I’ve been saying that since I woke up, and it’s starting to annoy me.
Cade huffs in irritation, but it’s not my job to keep track of Tre. I ignore him, and eventually he leaves. When he does, I get up and start poking through the cooler. There are eggs and cheese and not much else.
Tre said something last night about making eggs for breakfast, but clearly that’s not going to happen, so I grab the nearby bowl and begin cracking them into it. Even I can make scrambled eggs.
Twenty minutes later, we’re all sitting around eating when Cade returns with Tre.
“You used my eggs,” Tre states flatly, glaring at me.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I snap. “What is your problem?”
Tre says nothing, so Cade answers for him. “His feelings are hurt because he thinks you and Kyle hooked up last night, and he’s being a whiny little bitch about it.”
Tre rounds on Cade as Ewan looks at me and bursts out laughing. His laugh quickly turns into a cough as he chokes on a bite of eggs. Serves him right.
“They didn’t, by the way,” Cade adds on.
“Shut the fuck up, Cade,” I warn, feeling my face go hot. At the same time, Tre looks from Kyle to me and says, “You didn’t?”
“It’s none of your business who I hook up with,” I tell Tre as I set my plate of eggs to the side. Everyone else has fallen silent, and their eyes are glued to me. I’d rather be anywhere but here.
“She didn’t.”
“Shut. Up. Cade,” I warn again as Tre asks, “Why not?”
“What part of ‘none of your business’ do you not understand?” I bite out. Not only do I not want to have this conversation, but I especially don’t want to have it right now, with everyone listening.
“Because—” Cade begins, and I realize I have no idea when he and Jordan went back to their tent. I have no idea what he overheard from my conversation with Kyle.
“Because I kept thinking about you, okay?” I cut Cade off, my eyes on Tre.
“Because I kept wishing Kyle was you!” I turn to Cade.
“Someone should hit you in the back of the head and then leave you face down in the river to drown!” I leave my half-eaten plate of eggs on the log and stomp back to my tent.