#2
We lived in our homes and could venture around Heaven, simply blinking ourselves to any place we’d like.
There were cities filled with people and music, jungles for those who liked to explore, oceans to sail on, mountains to climb, horses to ride, and basically any of our heart’s desires could be fulfilled with just a simple thought.
Well, almost all of them. Heaven never served up the kind of challenge that made life worth living. “You know, does this endless perfection ever get…” I paused, looking around to make sure no soul or angel was around to hear me. “Boring to you?”
She finished chewing her bite of cake. “You mean Heaven?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Like, I really miss all the trouble you and I used to get up to, but you can’t do that kind of stuff up here.
It’s Heaven. Letting the air out of someone’s tires because they cut you off in traffic isn’t a thing.
There’s no traffic. And no one to cut you off.
No one to piss us off so we can get our well-earned revenge on them.
It’s just perfect all the time, and I guess I kinda miss the thrill of our shenanigans.
Our little adventures we used to go on.”
She nodded. “You know, I miss it too. I don’t want to complain because Heaven is, well, Heavenly, but yeah.
I wouldn’t mind getting into a little bit of trouble again.
Some M&M Mischief as we called it when we were kids.
” She grinned her mischievous smile I’d seen more times than I could count, but then it fell.
“But we can’t, can we? I don’t think that’s a thing in Heaven.
I think our prankster days are done. We only gave people a hard time because they deserved it.
No one up here deserves it, so we’d be the jerks if we just went around causing trouble for them. ”
My frown deepened. “Well, I guess it’s just you and me living for eternity in Heavenly bliss.”
She blinked and a margarita appeared in her hand. “We may not be able to get our kicks causing trouble anymore, but at least we can do this.”
She handed me the drink and I laughed. A moment later, another margarita appeared in her hand. We clinked them together then went back to our peaceful morning by the pond.
After several tranquil hours together, we strolled back toward our house.
Our joints no longer ached, and our bunions no longer throbbed.
With our walkers a thing of the past, we enjoyed spending much of our time walking around just enjoying the sights of Heaven.
When we reached the little village square, familiar souls greeted us.
“Beautiful day!” Arthur called from a swing set.
“It always is,” I replied with a wave, unable to keep a hint of weariness from my voice.
“Hi, ladies!” Edna said, and I looked over to see her and several of her friends sitting at a sidewalk café indulging in a pizza overflowing with toppings.
“Hi!” We waved back, then continued greeting our fellow Heavenly inhabitants as we continued our stroll back to our little stone house.
As we continued on, a commotion caught our attention. Nick, a soul we’d met shortly after arriving, was embracing Natalie.
“You’re back!” Natalie squealed. “How was it on Earth? Did you help many souls?”
“It was wonderful,” Nick beamed. “I helped so many people cross over.”
I stopped abruptly, causing Millie to bump into me. “Earth? Did he say he was on Earth?”
Without waiting for Millie’s response, I dragged her over to the pair. “Sorry to interrupt,” I said, “but did you say you were on Earth? How is that possible?”
Nick’s smile faded slightly. “Oh, I was there as a Crossing Guard. We help confused souls transition to the afterlife.”
“Like the person who helped us cross over when we died?” Millie asked, her eyes wide. “I remember just staring at my corpse watching Mabel sobbing over me trying to get back in to go back to her. It was awful. But then someone showed up and explained to me about Heaven, and I was able to let go.”
“Yes. Those are Crossing Guards,” Nick said. “And I was recently on assignment to be one for a month. I just got back.”
My curiosity piqued. “So, you get to spend a month on Earth, and in exchange, you help souls cross over?”
“Yes, exactly,” he said. “We go down in shifts, and when a person dies and doesn’t immediately ascend, as a Crossing Guard, we get a little notification that there is a stuck soul, and we blink over to help them. It’s very fulfilling.”
Natalie smiled a wistful smile. “Being a Crossing Guard is a wonderful gift to give the newly departed. I’ve done it twice. It’s an important task to make sure delayed souls don’t get stuck on Earth and end up haunting people or something.”
My eyebrow arched. “You can… haunt people? That’s a thing?”
Nick’s brow furrowed. “Well, yes. It’s a thing.
A bad thing obviously. Most souls either head north or south, but some refuse to let go and remain on the Earthly plane.
Unfinished business. Fear of where they are going.
There’s lots of reasons, but it’s obviously frowned upon to linger, so our jobs as Crossing Guards are to make sure those souls move on quickly. ”
“Mmmhmm. I see.” I pursed my lips together, my mind reeling with ideas. “So, just to clarify, if you’re a Crossing Guard in ghostly form, could you, I don’t know, say, haunt someone while you were down there?”
He scrunched his brow further. “Haunt someone? Why on Earth would I want to haunt someone?”
I waved my hand. “No, no. I’m not saying you would, or that anyone should, of course, but just… could you?”
He shrugged, still looking perplexed by my question.
“I, uh… I guess? I mean, it’s not easy, or even possible for most ghosts on Earth to manipulate the living world, but I suppose it’s possible since we’re in ghost form down there, and there are ghosts who have figured out how to manipulate the world around them.
Moving things, making noises, even appearing as apparitions.
So, yes. I suppose that would be possible.
” Then he lifted an eyebrow. “But not recommended.”
“No, no, of course not.” I chuckled, wafting my hand. “I was just curious. My curiosity is always getting the best of me. So, how does one become a Crossing Guard?”
Nick appraised me with a wary eye then finally answered, “You need to apply at the Office of Celestial Affairs. They’re quite selective.”
Millie shot me a look, but I stayed her with my eyes. “Okay, well, welcome back, Nick. I’m sure we’ll see you around now. And good job on helping all those stuck souls. Huzzah to you.”
“Thanks,” he said, but his suspicious eyes still watched me with concern as I grabbed Millie’s hand and shuffled her off behind me.
Once we turned the corner, I spun around, my insides bubbling with excitement as I gripped her shoulders. “We both said we’re bored up here and we miss playing tricks on people. What if we sign up to be Crossing Guards and then… we go haunt people!”
Her eyes went big. “What? You’re joking!”
I practically bounced in my skin. “No! It would be hilarious! There are a few people who pissed us off in life we never got around to paying back, so what if we paid them a friendly little visit and… haunted them! Oh, Millie! It would be hilarious!”
Fear flickered in her eyes. “I don’t know, Mabel. Don’t you think we could get in trouble?”
I waved a hand at her. “We won’t do anything bad. Just have a few laughs at their expense. And we can spend some time on Earth watching people do bad stuff for a bit to break the monotony of this constant perfection. Like living in a real-world television show! Oh, Millie! It would be a blast!”
She chewed on her lip. “What if we get in trouble for doing that and get sent to…” she leaned closer, pointing at her toes as she whispered, “the bad place? They never explained to us how they know who is good and who is bad. Maybe we’ll get in trouble, and they won’t let us back up!
I mean, I’m bored too, but I don’t want to go to… ” she whispered again, “the bad place.”
“Psht,” I said, shrugging off her worry as I’d always done when we were alive. “We’ll be fine. We’re not going to kill anyone. Just go down to Earth, have a little fun like the old days, and, I guess, help a few souls while we’re there. It’s a win win!”
Worry deepened the familiar creases on her face as she stared at me, and then after glancing around at the picture-perfect world around us, she quirked a half smile.
“It would be kinda fun to see what’s going on down on Earth and maybe check in on a few of those people still remaining on our naughty list.”
I slung an arm around her shoulder. “Exactly! Let’s do this, Millie. You with me?”
She looked up at me, then with a soft shake of her head, she laughed and said, “I was with you for ninety years in life, and you know I’m with you in death. I’m in.”
“Yes!” I pumped a fist in the air and hurried us back to our house to make a plan to join the Crossing Guards and get ourselves back to Earth for a little well-earned M&M Mischief.