Chapter Two
Millie and Mabel's Afterlife Adventure: Chapter Two
MILLIE
We stood in front of the looming marble doors of the Office of Celestial Affairs, my hand pressed tight to my chest as if to keep my heart from leaping out.
Funny thing about being dead: you still feel like you’ve got a body.
My chest still thumped when I was nervous, my breath still sped up when I was scared, and I even got butterflies in my stomach.
All three were happening right now as I braced for the trouble ahead.
“I think I’m having a heart attack,” I whispered. “They’re going to know our plans are dubious, and a trapdoor is going to open up and drop us straight to the bad place!”
Mabel peered down at me from behind her dark-rimmed glasses, all five-eleven of her towering over my five-three. “You can’t have a heart attack, Millie. Our hearts may still beat for whatever reason Heaven keeps them going, but you’re already dead.”
I bumped her with an elbow. “You don’t know that! We never did fully read the welcome manual. Maybe we can die again and like, poof out of existence for good!”
Mabel chuckled, her sharp, intelligent eyes sparkling with mischief. “Relax, Millie. We’re here to ask a few questions, fill out an application, and maybe, just maybe, get a little excitement back in our afterlives. Nothing to worry about.”
I bit my lip, glancing around at the grand entrance. The Office of Celestial Affairs was as majestic as the rest of Heaven, with towering columns, sparkling fountains, and angels flitting about, their wings shimmering in the sunlight. Despite the tranquility, my nerves refused to settle.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Mabel said, knowing full well that I was ready to pass out from worry.
“I know I’m always the one pushing us out of our comfort zones and coming up with hair-brained plans, but as always, the choice is yours.
If you want to go home and enjoy eternity with nothing but sunshine and perfection, I’ll understand, and we’ll turn around now.
But if you want to shake things up with me a bit and get into a little mischief like old times, I really think we can pull this off. ”
“And you don’t think we’re going to go to the bad place if we get caught?”
“If we get caught, I’ll take the blame and you’ll be innocent. I won’t let you go to the bad place.”
I frowned. “But if you get sent to the bad place without me, then I’ll be alone here in eternity worrying about you… living a life without you. That’s worse than any fate. I’d rather be in the bad place together.”
Mabel’s face softened with my words. “Aw. I would rather be in the bad place with you than alone in Heaven too. But we’ll be fine, Millie.
I promise. We always land on our feet. Let’s just go in and find out more about this whole Crossing Guard business, and then we can decide what’s next together. How does that sound?”
“Alright. Let’s do this.” I sighed, trying to steady my breathing as I straightened my pink hat.
I’d spent an hour choosing an outfit I thought would be appropriate for a meeting with angels.
My Sunday best pink skirt suit and a strand of lovely pearls and matching earrings I’d blinked into existence.
If we were going to deceive heavenly bureaucrats, I figured I should at least look respectable doing it.
Mabel, on the other hand, had made no such effort to impress and wore her usual slacks and button-down cardigan, looking like she was heading to the library rather than a celestial con job.
Mabel gave me a reassuring pat on the back as we pushed through the grand doors and stepped into the building. My pangs of anxiety quickened as we approached the reception desk.
An angel with flowing golden hair and a serene smile greeted us. “Welcome to the Office of Celestial Affairs. How can I assist you today?”
Mabel stepped forward with that unwavering confidence she’d had all our lives. “Hi, we’re interested in becoming Crossing Guards. We heard we could apply here.”
Her smile widened. “Of course. It’s a noble duty. Please take a seat, and someone will be with you shortly.”
We thanked her and found a pair of plush chairs near a window overlooking more of Heaven’s beauty, the lush landscape stretching as far as the eye could see. As we waited, my mind raced with a thousand thoughts. What if they saw through us? What if they knew our true intentions?
Mabel seemed unfazed, casually crossing her arms and reclining against the seat. “You need to relax, Millie. Think of this as our next great adventure.”
My body vibrated as I bounced my leg, then I forced it to remain still, trying to absorb some of her calm. “I know, but I can’t help but worry. We’re not the best candidates for this job. We’re not exactly saints.”
She smirked. “I don’t think being a saint is in the job description. And hey, we were good enough to get into Heaven somehow, so we can’t be all that bad. You know, we were pretty good people as a matter of fact.”
I snorted. “Yeah, says the woman who took the tires off that guy’s car and left it on blocks in his driveway.”
She poked a finger at me and whispered, “Quiet! We don’t want the angels to hear! And hey. He had it coming. He was speeding down the street so fast every day he almost killed that little boy and his dog. I was just teaching him a lesson. Justice.” She lifted her chin higher.
“I suppose. You’re right. Our mischief was always well-intentioned. It’s not like we ever bullied anyone who didn’t deserve it.”
Her shoulders straightened, making her seem taller than she already was. “Exactly. We were like… Robin Hood. We stood up for the little guy.”
“Well, you did most of the standing up and going toe to toe with people. I just worked behind the scenes,” I admitted, since it was usually Mabel who caused the most trouble since I was always too chicken to get caught.
“You did your fair share of shenanigans too.”
“Yeah, but mine were sneaky. No one ever knew it was me. You were the brave one who would look people right in the eye while you stood up to them. Like that time you—”
She lifted her hand to stop me midsentence then jutted her chin toward the angel behind the reception desk. Out of the corner of her mouth, she whispered, “We probably shouldn’t be talking about all the bad things we’ve done in front of a literal angel.”
I slid my fingers across my lips like a zipper and nodded.
We sat in silence for a long while, then an angel with a clipboard came down the hallway and approached us. “Millie and Mabel? Follow me, please.”
We exchanged a quick glance and stood up, following the angel down a corridor lined with intricate tapestries depicting scenes from various afterlives.
The angel led us to a spacious office, where another angel, this one quite handsome with a chiseled jaw, bright blue eyes and ebony hair, sat behind a large, ornate desk.
“Welcome,” the angel said, gesturing for us to sit. “I’m Kafziel. I understand you’re interested in becoming Crossing Guards?”
Mabel nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, we are. We want to help souls transition smoothly. It sounds like a very fulfilling role.”
Kafziel’s piercing eyes seemed to look straight through us, and I squirmed in my seat. “It is indeed a vital task. Tell me, why do you want to become Crossing Guards?”
Mabel launched into her rehearsed speech.
“We’re so grateful to be here in Heaven and we want to help in any way we can.
We’ve spent our entire lives, and now our afterlives, helping each other as well as other people in need.
We’ve seen how much a guiding hand can mean to someone. We want to extend that help to others.”
I nodded along, adding, “We want to give back and make sure no soul feels lost or scared. I remember how I felt in those moments after I passed. I just stood there beside my body trying so hard to get back in it. I didn’t want to leave Mabel, and even though I felt the pull to leave my mortal life, I couldn’t make myself do it.
But then the kindest man, Abe, showed up and told me all about Heaven and that Mabel would meet me here when it was her time.
He helped me let go and transition, and I want to help someone else the same way. ”
The words tumbling out of my mouth weren’t entirely untrue. I did want to help souls cross over. Abe had done that for me. But I left out the part about what we planned to do between those beautiful moments of helping those souls.
Haunting people.
Kafziel studied us for a moment, then pushed up from his desk and walked out without a word.
“They know.” I trembled in my chair, whispering so loudly I may as well have been screaming.
“Shhhh,” Mabel hushed. “They don’t know! He’s just… I don’t know what the heck he’s doing but they don’t know. We were perfect.”
“They are angels! They can probably read our minds, and he knows we’re full of crap! Oh my God. We’re going to Hell.”
“We’re not going to Hell,” she argued back. “Just stay calm. If you act like you’re guilty, they’ll think you’re guilty.”
“I am guilty! You and I both know we only want to go to Earth to shake things up a bit and haunt people, and we’re using this Crossing Guard thing as a cover! We’re guilty and they know we’re guilty and we’re going to Hell. Where we probably belong!”
She reached out and took my hand, calming me down with the simple touch.
“Hey, hey, hey,” she soothed. “We’re fine.
We haven’t done anything wrong. And you know what, they would be lucky to have us as Crossing Guards.
We’re kind, we’re understanding, and what newly deceased person wouldn’t want to see these mugs moments after they die.
” She grinned widely. “We’re friendly and fun, and I bet we’d actually do a great job.
And yeah, maybe we’d have a little fun between crossings, but we’re good for this job.
Trust me, Millie. We’re gonna be fine. We’ve got this. ”