Chapter 20
Noah
The screech of tires on pavement makes me spin around on my heel.
I clutch a cardboard box labeled Kitchen in Gramps' familiar chicken-scratch handwriting to my chest and turn just in time to witness what can only be described as a controlled demolition of my late grandfather's driveway landscaping.
A familiar sedan comes careening around the corner at a speed that would make a NASCAR driver proud, clips the curb, and takes out the large terra-cotta planter near the driveway entrance with a spectacular crash.
Dirt explodes across the concrete. The planter rolls twice and comes to rest on its side like a casualty of war. The car jerks to a stop at an angle, front wheels on the lawn.
My brain tries to catch up, but honestly, it's a lot to take in.
The engine is still running when the driver's door opens and a short woman with blue wings and blue hair spills out.
A woman that sends my blood pressure careening through the roof and my spine tingling, all at once.
Then Rika Everdeen comes tearing around the hood of the car, pausing just a split second to look at the ruined planter, then continues like she's being chased by demons.
My brain completely shorts out.
She's wearing fuzzy pink pajama pants covered in cartoon donuts.
An oversized gray cardigan falls off one shoulder, revealing a white tank top underneath.
Her pale-blue hair has partially escaped from what might have once been a ponytail and now cascades around her face in wild disarray.
Her feet are shoved into unlaced sneakers.
Her sapphire wings are half-extended behind her, trembling at her back. Her chest heaves like she's been running. Or like she's hyperventilating. Her cheeks are flushed bright pink, and her blue eyes are wide and slightly wild.
I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.
The box in my hands would have hit the ground if I'd been capable of movement. Every muscle in my body locks up as I stare at her.
Thoughts shove around in my mind too fast for me to really pay them any attention.
Before I can speak, before I can move, before I can do anything except stand there like an idiot, Rika stops about ten feet away from me. Her eyes are crazed and her cheeks flushed.
Her small, dainty hand goes to her chest and she grips the cardigan so hard her knuckles turn white. A panicked expression flashes across her face, then she plants her feet solidly on the ground and her mouth pinches in a hardened expression.
"I LOVE YOU!"
Rika shouts, actually shouts, loud enough that Mrs. Henderson next door stops watering her petunias to stare. My ears ring. The world tilts sideways.
I set the box down carefully on the workbench because my fingers have gone numb. When I turn back to face her, my mouth opens but nothing comes out.
Rika takes three steps closer, her wings doing anxious little flutters that send her cardigan billowing. Her fingers twist in the fabric.
"I love you, Noah Mercer." Her voice cracks on my name. "I'm in love with you. Completely. Terrifyingly. I. Love. You."
My heart slams against my ribs so hard I can feel it in my throat, in my fingertips, behind my eyes.
I manage one word, my voice rough and disbelieving. "Rika."
She holds up one trembling hand, cutting me off.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for last night. For walking away. For being a coward." Words tumble out of her in a rush like she's afraid if she stops, she won't be able to finish saying what she has to say. "I should have said it back when I had the chance."
My gaze shifts past her to the car, and my breath catches.
Zoe and Matthew climb out of the back seat and stand next to the car, both watching this entire scene unfold with wide eyes.
Matthew clutches Mr. Gears to his chest, his pale-green wings doing nervous little flutters.
Zoe stands with her arms crossed, but there's a small, hopeful smile on her face as she looks between her mom and me.
Rika steps closer. Close enough now that I can see the tear tracks on her cheeks, the way her bottom lip trembles before she catches it between her teeth.
"I'm listening."
My hands clench at my sides. I want to reach for her, want to pull her into my arms, but I need to hear this. Need to understand what changed between last night and this morning.
"You told me you loved me," Rika continues, tears spilling over now, running down her face.
"And instead of saying it back, instead of being brave enough to admit that I feel the same way, I ran.
Because I just couldn't bear to think about trying with you and failing.
Because deep down, I didn't think a man could truly love me.
So I ran like a coward because I was scared of getting hurt again. "
Her wings spread, an unconscious gesture of vulnerability that makes my chest ache.
"But I don't want to run anymore." Her voice turns fierce, her blue eyes locking on mine with an intensity that steals my breath. "I don't want to hide. I want you, Noah. I want this. I want us, out in the open. No more sneaking around. No more keeping secrets from the kids."
From behind her, Zoe's voice carries across the driveway, matter-of-fact and slightly amused. "She's been a total chickenshit, but she's working on it."
Rika shoots her daughter a look over her shoulder that's half-exasperated, half-grateful, but she doesn't deny it.
Matthew pipes up, earnest and sweet, "Grandma threw water on her and everything."
Despite everything, despite the emotional whiplash and the terror and the hope threatening to crack my ribs open, I almost laugh.
My brain is still trying to catch up, but I take a step forward. Then some kind of invisible thread holding me back snaps and I close the distance between us in two long strides. My hands come up to frame her face, thumbs brushing away the tears on her cheeks.
"Say it again." The demand comes out raw, desperate. "I need to hear it again."
Rika's hands come up to grip my wrists. Her wings spread wider behind her in complete surrender.
"I love you, Noah Mercer." Her voice is clear and steady, her blue eyes locked on mine. "I love you so much it scares me."
I crash my mouth down on hers with all the desperate, overwhelming feelings I've been holding back.
Rika melts into me with a soft sound that's half-sob, half-laugh. Her arms wind around my neck, and I lift her off her feet, spinning her in a circle right there in the driveway.
She laughs against my mouth.
The kiss is messy and perfect, tears and laughter and relief all mixed together. It tastes like hope and new beginnings and coming home.
From somewhere behind us, Zoe's voice rings out, "FINALLY!"
Matthew's higher voice follows, "Does this mean Noah will stay?"
I break the kiss just enough to rest my forehead against Rika's, both of us breathing hard, grinning like idiots.
"Tell me again," I murmur. "I'm not sure I believe it."
Rika laughs, bright and free, and cups my face in her small hands. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it."
"A few thousand more should do it," I say and kiss her again. Softer this time. Sweeter. Full of promise.
I set Rika down carefully, reluctantly letting her go just enough to turn toward the kids.
Zoe and Matthew have ventured closer, hovering at the edge of the garage. They're watching with matching expressions of hope and happiness that make my throat tight.
"Come here, guys," I say, opening my arms. "Group hug."
Matthew doesn't hesitate. He launches himself at me with enough force to nearly knock me over. I lift him up in my arms, and he wraps his thin arms around my neck and buries his face against my shoulder.
Zoe comes into the embrace at a much more subdued pace. She tucks herself between her mom and me and rests her head on her mom's shoulder.
I wrap one arm around them all, pulling them close. Rika's hand slides into my hair, her other arm coming around all three of us.
For a moment, we just stay like that in a tangle of arms and wings and beating hearts. Something slots into place deep in my chest, something that's been missing my entire life.
This. This is what I've been searching for.
"I love you guys," I say quietly, my voice thick with emotion. "All of you. You know that, right?"
Matthew nods against my shoulder. Zoe's arms tighten around me.
"We love you too," Zoe says, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Like, a lot. Embarrassingly much."
Matthew adds, "You're going to stay, right? You're not leaving?"
I pull back just enough to look at both kids, then up at Rika. She's watching me with tear-bright eyes and the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
"I'm not going anywhere," I say firmly. "I'm staying right here. With you. With all of you. If that's okay."
"It's more than okay," Rika says softly. "It's everything. But what about New York?"
I look down at Rika, then Zoe, then Matthew. And it's the easiest decision I've ever had to make.
"I'm turning it down," I say. "I'm taking the position at Saltford Bay Middle School instead."
Rika's lower lip trembles.
"But Drakesmere is everything you've ever wanted."
"No." I shake my head, not breaking eye contact. "Drakesmere is a great opportunity, for sure. But standing here, right now, with you and Zoe and Matthew, this is what I actually want. This is the dream."
I gesture around us, encompassing the whole town.
"I want to spend my days teaching kids in Saltford Bay and come home to you every night.
I want to help Matthew with his robotics projects and drive Zoe to dance class.
I want to have dinner together and movie nights and all the boring, ordinary, beautiful moments that make up family life. With you."
Rika's face crumples. Fresh tears spill over, but she's smiling through them.
"Are you sure?" Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Because once you make this choice, there's no going back. You'll be stuck with us. With all our mess and chaos and complications."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," I say, and I mean it with every fiber of my being.
Rika snorts and buries her face against my chest, and her wings wrap around us, creating a cocoon of shimmering blue.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," she says, her voice muffled against my shirt. "Because you're too good to be true."
"Maybe I'm the one dreaming," I say simply. "Because you're all perfect to me."
Rika pulls back slightly, wiping at her eyes. She glances past me toward the garage.
"What about your gramps' house?" she asks. "Are you still selling it?"
I grimace.
"I signed the listing agreement this morning," I admit. "I can call Missy and cancel the listing. And when we're both ready, maybe I could sell it and move in with you guys?"
The suggestion hangs in the air between us.
Rika looks stunned. Her mouth opens and closes as she processes what I'm offering.
My heart starts hammering again, hope and terror mixing in equal measure.
"You're already there all week," Rika says carefully. But I can see the longing in her eyes, the way she's already imagining it. "It's something I think I'll be ready for in a few months."
"No rush," I say quickly. "We can take our time. Figure things out. I want you to know I'm all in. Forever."
Rika's smile is radiant. She lifts up on her toes and kisses me again, soft and sweet and full of promise. She tilts her face up to look at me, her blue eyes serious.
"Forever is a long time."
"Not long enough," I say and mean it. "Not nearly long enough."
I lift her hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles.
"I love you," I murmur against her skin.
"I love you too," she says. "Thank you for not giving up on me."
"Never," I promise. "Not in a million years."
And I feel something settle deep in my bones.
Peace. Belonging. Home.
And I'm never letting go.