Chapter 10 JULES #3
I tightened my grip on the wheel and kept driving.
Some things you don't chase. You wait and see where they land.
Deep down, without fully admitting it yet, I knew this wasn't about breakfast or routines or mornings.
It was about Nia finding space, and whether or not there was still room for me in it.
After dropping the kids off, I called Nia a few times but she didn't answer.
I didn't leave a voicemail or send a text.
I wasn't about to chase her. If she wanted to answer, she would.
I pulled up at a couple of different spots to see if anybody had got word on Jade yet but shit was still the same, nobody knew where she was.
Same answers. Same head shakes. Same nah bruhs.
Jade had vanished like she knew exactly when to disappear.
That told me more than anything else, she wasn't scared. She was calculating.
I ended up sitting at Velvet with my brothers listening to Juste talking about investing in real estate and some other shit.
Velvet smelled like smoke and money. Low lights.
Leather booths. The kind of place you came to feel like things were still under control.
I leaned back, arms crossed, nodding at the right moments while my head stayed somewhere else.
Juste was talking numbers, properties, flips.
Pierre chimed in here and there. Noles was half listening, half watching the room.
I was in my phone searching up Jade's social media for any inclination on where the bitch could be.
Scrolling. Clicking. Old pictures. New captions that didn't say shit.
A filter here. A quote there. Jade knew exactly how to play this.
She always had. Jade knew this was how she could get to me by threatening me on some police ass shit.
She knew the timing. Knew the pressure I was under.
Knew what would make my chest tighten without her even saying a word.
I knew she still held a grudge for me ending shit with her and letting Nia beat her ass.
That part never sat right with her. Jade didn't care about losing me.
She cared about losing to her. She was fuckin Nash to make me mad and get back at Nia.
Petty. Strategic. Loud for no reason. This shit had nothing to do with Nash and everything to do with us.
That's what pissed me off the most. She wasn't dragging some random shit into this.
She was dragging my past, my marriage, my family, my mistakes.
"Jules, I thought my brudda told you not to get back involved with that hoe on no levels," Noles said, standing over my shoulder, watching me go through her social media.
"Noles get yo duck ass from over my shoulder.
" I turned around, swatting at him. I didn't even look guilty, nor did I feel like explaining myself.
When I turned around Juste and Pierre were lookin directly at me.
That stare meant they already knew what lane I was drifting into. "What?" I said defensively.
"Nigga what the fuck I told you?" Juste said.
"Man, y’all got any info on her whereabouts? That's what we need to be discussing." I said, waving him off. Business. Focus. That's what I kept telling myself.
"If we did, we wouldn't tell your ass. Know you wanna fuck the bitch one more time before we send her to meet her baeebbyydaddy." Pierre snorted, making me smack my lips.
"That right there is why you need to stay out of this shit. That smacking your lips gettin offended and shit." Juste said, pointing at me. "You in your feelings bout this hoe still. You gon fuck around and be doing a hundred years fuckin round wit her."
I didn't respond right away. Just leaned back, jaw tight.
They thought this was about sex. About temptation.
About weakness. "Who said I was fuckin wit the bitch? Where that shit come from? I’m just tryna find this hoe so I don't have to do time.
" I shot back. Truth sat somewhere in the middle. I didn't want her. I wanted control.
"Yeah, and as soon as you find that hoe, your dick gon end up in her mouth some kinda way. We yo brothers. You can't pull that wool over our eyes." Noles said.
"Ju, I told you we gon handle that shit. stay yo ass out of it. You got bigger shit to deal with," Juste said, staring at me.
That part landed harder than anything else he said.
Bigger shit.
Kids.
A wife who wasn't home when she used to be.
A daughter already halfway out the door.
A life that didn't fit the same way anymore.
These niggas wanted to off Jade ass. I just felt like the situation could be handled different.
Different didn't mean softer. It meant quieter.
Fewer bodies. Less chaos. I knew her and knew the bitch didn't want nothing but some money and to make my pockets hurt.
Money I could replace. Time I couldn't. They wanted to take it to the extreme, and we didn't even have to do that.
Extreme always came with consequences. I'd already buried enough of those.
The last thing we needed was another body popping up.
Another headline. Another case. Another excuse for the system to keep its knee on my neck.
My phone buzzed, taking my attention away from them. I looked down.
"I heard you was looking for me..." The text read.
nia
I sat in the chair at the nail salon, writing in my journal as my feet sat in the bubbling water.
The chair hummed beneath me, low and steady, like it was trying to soothe something deeper than my calves.
The smell of acetone and sugar scrub mixed in the air, sharp and sweet at the same time.
It reminded me of how most things in my life felt now, comfort layered over something that stung.
I'd gone to therapy earlier this morning and was spending time with myself before the kids got out of school.
That still felt strange to admit, even in my own head.
Time with myself. Like it was something I had to earn, and it could be taken away if I wasn't careful.
I kept glancing at the clock on the wall, not because I was rushing, but because part of me still didn't trust that this quiet was allowed.
Jules had sent a text asking where I was earlier but id ignored it.
something id become more and more comfortable with lately.
The phone sat face down in my purse, zipped up, like I'd put distance between us on purpose.
I didn't feel guilty about it the way I used to.
That was new. Before, ignoring Jules would've sat heavy in my chest, would've felt like I was doing something wrong.
Like I owed him immediate access to me. Now it just felt necessary.
The nail tech came over scrubbing my feet going through the different steps of the pedicure.
She didn't talk much, just focused on what she was doing.
I appreciated that. There was something grounding about someone taking care of a small part of you without asking questions.
She rinsed my foot, wrapped it in a warm towel, then moved on to the next.
Simple. Efficient. No emotional labor required.
I kept writing. Not full sentences. Just thoughts.
Half-thoughts. Words I didn't want to say out loud. I'm tired.
I miss who I used to be.
I don't know who, morning, Nia and I were sitting down at the table with breakfast spread out, waiting for I am now.
I love my kids so much it scares me.
I don't know how to love Jules without losing myself. I almost crossed that last one out, but didn't.
The door of the nail salon chimed, and I looked up to see Jade walking through the door. My pen stopped mid-word. A face I hadn't seen since I whooped her ass. My body reacted before my mind did. Spine straightening. Jaw tightening. That old, familiar readiness settling into my shoulders.
She stopped scanning the inside of the shop.
For a split second, our eyes almost met.
I didn't look away. I wasn't about to give her that satisfaction.
I prayed her ass acted like she had some sense today because I had no problem folding her ass up in her clothes right here in the nail salon.
Not because I wanted to fight. I was past wanting to fight.
But because some boundaries had already been drawn in blood and bruises, and Jade had a habit of pretending she didn't understand lines unless they were loud.
After a second, she turned around and walked out.
The bell chimed again, sharp in the quiet, and just like that, she was gone.
But the tension stayed. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.
The nail tech glanced up at me, eyebrows raised slightly, like she'd felt the shift in the room too.
I gave her a small nod, letting her know I was good. I wasn't, but I didn't need to explain.
I was curious now. Jade hadn't just showed up out of nowhere.
Jade didn't do coincidences. Everything she did had a purpose.
A message. A hook. So I had the lingering question of what the hell she was doing sniffing around here.
My mind ran through possibilities I didn't want to entertain.
Was she looking for me? Following me? Trying to provoke something?
Or worse, trying to get information without saying a word?
I knew one thing: I didn't care how hurt Jules was.
If he fucked off with that bitch again, I was serving him with divorce papers myself.
That thought came clear and solid, with no hesitation attached.
Not angry. Not emotional. Just decided. I wasn't threatening anymore. I was done negotiating my dignity.