JULES #2
"Shid nigga go in there on your knees begging and crying.
Buy her a new house or some." Pierre mumbled, looking out his window.
He said it like it was simple. "You ask me, this nigga ass is ova wit.
Nigga need to go in there and sign them papers and figure out what the fuck to do from here.
" Noles said. Straight, no dressing it up.
"Maybe not. nigga just gon have to make up and throw a whole lotta dick. " Pierre said.
"Doubt that," Noles said. That was the only response it deserved. "Get out, Ju. I’m ready to go." Juste said, hands bluntly on the steering wheel. "I’ve been outside after hours long enough fuckin with your stupid ass." He didn't look at me when he said it.
"Yeah, I'll get out ya car. Ion appreciate you putting your hands on me either bitch." I said, opening the car door and stepping out. My feet hit the gravel.
"And I appreciate you handling this whole situation how you is." He said, pulling off, spinning up gravel. I stood there for a second. Alone in my yard. House sitting quiet in front of me.
Lights low.
Nothing moving.
It didn't feel like home. Not the way it used to.
I made my way inside the house. I had somewhat sobered up, but was still feeling it.
Enough to feel everything. I dragged myself to the bedroom.
Door slightly open. I pushed it the rest of the way and stepped in.
Nia was sprawled out across the bed sleep in her silk pajamas.
Her face was calm. Her hair wrap tied around her head made her features stick out.
She looked whole. I stood there looking at her, taking in the woman she'd become, realizing I didn't wanna lose her. I wanted to do this lifetime and the next with her. That part hadn't changed. Shit just got rocky. But even as I thought it, I knew it was more than that.
I moved toward the bed slower this time.
I stripped down as I went. Clothes dropping behind me, one piece at a time.
I climbed onto the bed beside her. The mattress shifted under my weight.
She stirred. Eyes opening slow. Confused at first. She tried to push me away.
Like she already knew what I was about to do.
Like she had already decided she wasn't meeting me there.
I didn't listen at first. That part of me still stuck in what we used to be.
What I thought we still had access to. I leaned into her.
Trying to reconnect the only way I knew how.
The only way I had ever really used. Something that didn't require words.
I wanted her to feel how sorry I was. Like that could reach a place words hadn't.
I pulled her shorts and panties down swift before she could make another move.
She tried to push me away again, but I’d moved too quick.
I already had my mouth latched onto her clit, massaging it with my tongue, making her weak.
I wanted her to feel how sorry I was. I was using my tongue to write an apology letter all throughout her pussy.
I just prayed she felt it, because I knew she felt me.
I was sorry for everything I'd ever done, shit, she didn't even know about.
I just wanted this shit to work. I didn't know what I'd do without her.
True enough, I made this shit look good, but Nia was my backbone.
I felt her juices wet my face up as I let up for a minute to let her get it out before going right back in eating her pussy like I was on death row and it was my last meal.
She screamed out again, letting herself go.
I let up and moved on top of her, slipping my dick between her wet folds.
I kissed her up and down her neck, leaving hickeys all over her like we were kids again.
I whispered so many "I'm sorrys" and "I love yous", my voice was damn near hoarse.
She wrapped her legs around me, flipping me over so that she was on top of me.
She rode me steady with her head thrown back and her mouth open, moving like muscle memory had taken over.
I reached my hands up around her neck, not squeezing, holding, just enough to make her look at me.
"You love me?" I grunted out, grinding into her, matching her pace.
She didn't answer me; instead, she just kept moving, like she heard me and chose not to.
"You love me?" I said again, louder this time.
More force behind it. Not yelling, just pushing.
Her eyes connected with mine for the first time.
And they stayed there. No emotion spilling over.
Just steady. “Always and forever. “The words came out clean.
Like something she knew how to say without thinking about it too hard.
In that moment, I hoped I'd gotten through to her, made her feel my love enough to call off all this shit.
It made me feel like I had her back. That thought sat in my chest for a second.
Enough to make me believe it. I grabbed her hips tighter, pulling her down into me, trying to hold onto that feeling before it slipped.
Before, something in me questioned it. Before I had to think about it too much.
Because thinking too long about shit like this always ruined it.
Always exposed something underneath it I didn't want to see. Her body kept moving.
Same rhythm.
Same pace.
Nothing changed. That's when I noticed the way her eyes didn't soften or respond to me the way they used to.
Back then, when I asked her something like that, I didn't have to ask twice.
It was already there. Now it felt like she gave me the answer because it was expected.
I just watched her. Watched the space between what she said and what I felt.
Her hands pressed against my chest. Balancing herself.
She wasn't holding onto me. She was steadying herself.
I shifted under her slightly, adjusting my grip.
"I love you," I said, trying to pull her closer and close that space.
But it didn't change. “You hear me?" I asked low.
She nodded once. Still looking at me. Not "I love you too. "
I let my hands fall from her neck to her waist. The room felt different.
Something had shifted. Something I couldn't put back.
I didn't stop. Just kept moving with her.
Let it play out. Her breathing picked up.
Her body tensed slightly. Then eased. And just like that, it was over.
She slowed down before collapsing on my chest. I grabbed her, wrapping my arms around her waist tight, holding her close to me.
Trying to hold on to what was left of us.
That's what it felt like. Not intimacy. No connection.
Just holding. Like if I held her tight enough, something between us wouldn't slip all the way through my hands.
Her body was warm against mine, familiar.
The same weight I'd known for years. But it didn't feel the same. Not in a way I could explain.
The sound of us breathing filled the room before turning into snores. Like whatever the world had thrown at us, we made it back to this bed together. But it just sounded like two people in the same space.
The next morning, I woke up, and I was in bed alone.
The space beside me was empty. Sheets cool.
Pillow untouched. I sat up and stretched, rubbing my hand down my face before reaching for my phone.
I had a few texts from my brothers, but the one from Nia caught my attention.
My thumb hovered over it for a second before I opened it.
"I took the kids to breakfast, so you would have a chance to leave. I don’t wanna confuse them and make them think we're working things out. Last night was a one-off, one last time. Sign the papers, Jules, please don’t make this harder than it needs to be.
I meant what I said. Always and forever, but sometimes that don’t mean together.
" I read the text once. Let every word sit.
Let it settle where it needed to. I shook my head, growling low under my breath.
I tried fixing this shit when I knew it was over. That part came clear. I made this shit difficult when I knew this shit was over.
Dragged it.
Pushed it.
Acted like it was something to fight for in the way I understood fighting.
But this wasn't that kind of fight. I officially realized that there was no coming back from this.
That realization locked something in place.
This is where we were now. My chest ached and felt funny in a way it hadn't in a long time.
I looked over seeing the papers on the nightstand with a pen on top of them.
They hadn't moved. Exactly where she left them.
Exactly how she left them. I reached over and snatched them up, flipping through seeing her signature where it had been.
Her name sat there clean on the line. No hesitation.
I clicked the pen in my hand, going back and forth with myself.
I could just threaten to take custody of my kids and give her no choice but to be with me, but that would be some hoe ass shit.
The thought came easy. I could make the situation bend to my needs.
But even as it crossed my mind, it didn't sit right.
Not with where I was standing in this moment.
It dawned on me that if I really loved Nia like I said I did, I'd do what made her happy. That part didn't come with emotion. I looked at her signature again. Then, at the empty space where mine needed to go. My hand tightened slightly around the pen.
I clicked it once.
Then again.
The sound was loud in the quiet room. I clicked the pen and glided it across the paper, leaving my signature. That was it.
Years.
History.