Chapter 14
Chapter
Fourteen
MIKHAIL
B oris storms into my office without knocking. I barely glance at him as I continue my work. I’m checking through my finances to make sure my men are collecting payments owed to me, which is much more important than whatever Boris needs to talk with me about.
“How long are you going to keep Viktoriya and Mila here?” he asks, leaning over my desk as if he’s an intimidating presence. I am an intimidating presence. Boris is just a tiny fly to my Venus fly trap.
“As long as they want to stay. Sofiya and I made a deal. She upheld her end of it, so her sisters get to stay. Do you have a problem with that? Because, if not, I’d really like to get back to work.”
“Of course, I have a problem with that!” He shoves the chair across the desk so hard it goes flying across the room.
I only sigh. “Throwing a temper tantrum won’t help you, Boris. You failed with Sofiya. And now, you’re not getting your hands on Viktoriya or Mila. Get over it. You lost.” I set my eyes back onto my computer.
Boris growls deep in his throat. Does he seriously think he’s a threat? He’s just a little annoying fucker. Nothing more. “I will have Mila for my bride.”
“The only way you’re doing that is if they go back to New York, and they’re not going back to New York.”
“If you don’t hand over Mila, I’ll go after Sofiya.”
I slowly bring my gaze back to Boris and stand up. He visibly gulps. “You will not threaten my wife, Boris. You won’t like the outcome. And you know I’ll deliver on it.”
He quickly backs away. “Sorry. I won’t go after Sofiya.”
“Good.” I sit back down and wave toward the door. “Now, leave. I’m tired of talking to you.”
Boris storms out of the room with the same force he used when he came in. He’s no threat to me.
But his words linger in my mind. Would he really go after Sofiya? I’ll protect her at all costs. I just hope she doesn’t get hurt in the process. Seeing how shaken she was when I killed Irina startled me. Death is nothing to me now, but for Sofiya, it’s all new.
She came back into my arms, but there was a hesitation there, and I need that hesitation gone. There can be no barriers between us. Except, I haven’t been fully honest with her about everything. She still doesn’t know about my son.
My Alexei.
I don’t know how to talk about him, but if I don’t open up to her about him, there will always be a distance between us.
And I’d rather die than ruin my marriage with Sofiya.
SOFIYA
I’m enjoying my breakfast with my sisters when Boris walks into the kitchen. I didn’t even know he was here. My eyes land on Mary, who always answers the door, and she’s smiling to herself. She knew inviting Boris would upset me.
“What are you doing here?” Vik asks, gripping her mug so tightly her fingers turn white.
“I need to talk to Sofiya.” He stares at me pointedly. “Sofiya.”
“You don’t have to talk with him,” Vik says as I get up from the table.
“No. I will.” I glance in Mila’s direction, and she’s white as a sheet. I nod at her, and Vik slowly nods back, understanding what I’m doing. I won’t let Boris be in the same room as Mila.
I motion for Boris to follow me, and we walk out of the kitchen and into the foyer. It’s intentional. I want him out of here as soon as possible.
“What?” I ask, crossing my arms.
“You don’t need to take that attitude with me.”
I scoff. “I can’t believe you. You tried to force me into a marriage. You shot at me. And then you tried to force my baby sister into marrying you. Why wouldn’t I have an attitude?”
“Because I’m not sure your husband would approve. He likes you docile, doesn’t he? Submissive?”
I try not to flinch. “How do you know what Mikhail likes? You don’t know him.”
“I know him better than you. I know how deadly he can be. He goes through people like they’re trash. Once he’s through with you, you’ll be wishing you had agreed to marry me.”
“No. Mikhail will never be through with me. You don’t know him.”
“I know him well enough. I know he was married before.”
“So? I already knew that.”
The smile that covers Boris’s lips has me worried. “Did you also know about his son?”
Everything in me goes still.
“You didn’t, did you?” He points at my face. “I can tell. Well, I’ll let you talk with him about that. But you just proved my point. You don’t know him that well. He will hurt you in the long run. But I can help.”
I shake myself. “No. Mikhail would never hurt me.” But Mikhail hasn’t told me everything, even after I asked him to. He still chose to keep things from me.
“I can help,” Boris repeats. “If you give me Mila, I will offer you a safe sanctuary for when things go bad between you and Mikhail.”
“What? I’m not going to give you Mila for anything. Besides, Mila is her own person. I can’t give away a person.”
“I will offer you protection from Mikhail if you give me Mila. Think about it.”
“Boris!” Mikhail’s deep voice startles me. “I thought I told you to leave.” He walks over to me and places his hand on my waist. “Go.”
It’s a little funny seeing Boris go from confident to terrified the moment Mikhail shows up. “I’m leaving. Just think about it,” he says to me before walking out the door.
“Think about what?” Mikhail asks me.
“Boris wants me to give him Mila. I said no, of course.”
“Of course.” He studies me for a moment. “Are you all right?”
“He told me that … you had a son. Or have a son, I’m not sure.”
Mikhail tenses and pulls away from me. It doesn’t go unnoticed. “Boris is trying to get under your skin.”
“Is it true?”
“I can’t talk about this now. I have work.”
“You always have work,” I grumble.
Mikhail’s sharp gaze pierces me. “I provide for you. I take care of you. I do all of this because of my work. We’ll talk about this later.” He walks away before I can get another word in.
It’s not until he’s gone I realize he never denied having a son. Mikhail is still keeping things from me, and I need to know why.
I find a note in our bedroom, telling me to meet him in the playroom. There’s a small rebellious side to me that wants to say no. That Mikhail can’t just summon me whenever he wants, especially if he’s keeping things from me.
But I know I won’t do that. Despite how I feel, I want Mikhail to be proud of me more than anything. I’ve given him my complete self. I have to submit.
The room is dark when I enter it. I can’t see anything in front of me or around me. “Mikhail?”
“It’s ‘sir’ to you tonight,” his deep voice comes through the darkness. My body already is trembling at his voice, the sternness of it, the coldness to it.
“Sir,” I whisper, licking my lips. What’s going on? Mikhail has never done anything like this before.
“Good girl.”
I flush under his praise, not that he can see it.
“I’ve brought you here so we can talk,” he continues. “You asked me earlier if what Boris said was true. If I had a son.”
“Yes, sir.” My hands clench together.
“It’s true. I had a son.”
I let out a slow breath. The darkness makes me more aware of everything around me, even though I can’t see it.
“But I can’t say more,” he says. “Not right now.”
“Why?”
He doesn’t respond. It’s deafening in the dark.
“Why, sir?” I amend.
“Better. My son is dead, and I don’t like to talk about it. About him. So, I won’t be saying anything else tonight. You will not question me. You will not ask for more details. Is that understood?”
I’m grateful he’s telling me anything, but he’s still not telling me everything, and that hurts. And now, I can’t even ask him why without him being disappointed in me. Everything about our relationship is in service to Mikhail. It’s something I’ve agreed to. It’s something I need .
Doesn’t make it hurt any less when I don’t feel like I’m allowed my own opinion.
“Is that clear, Sofiya?” he repeats.
I startle. I was silent for longer than I’d intended. “Yes. I understand, sir.”
“Good. Now, we can continue with our evening.” The lights turn back on, almost blinding me. I don’t even see Mikhail in the room. Where is he?
I jump when my vision is plunged back into darkness as I feel a soft fabric around my eyes. Mikhail is right behind me, blindfolding me.
“You said you trust me,” he says. “I need you to prove it. I’m taking away your vision so you can focus on the pleasure I’m going to give you tonight.”
“You’re not going to … punish me?” I whisper.
I can hear the frown in his voice. “Why would I punish you?”
“Because I was asking questions.”
“I will never punish you for asking questions.” He trails his fingers across the back of my neck, sending goosebumps down my body. “But I don’t have to answer them. So, it’s in your benefit to not ask in the first place.”
Of course, now all I want to ask is, “Why?” but I can’t even do that.
“Get out of your head,” he whispers into my ear, making me jump. “Focus on the pleasure I’m going to give you tonight.”
I want to. God , I want to. I just can’t shake the hurt I feel that Mikhail never told me he had a son. I’ve given him all of me, and he hasn’t done the same in return.
Tears slip out of my eyes and slide past the blindfold. Mikhail touches my cheek, wiping my tear away.
“Why are you crying?”
I lick my lips. “Because I’m sad.”
“Don’t be sad tonight. Be my good girl. If you do that, you will feel better.” He links our hands together, pressing his chest into my back. “Give yourself to me, Sofiya. Your submissive nature needs it.”
I let out a sob and lean against him, instantly feeling safer when he wraps his arms around me. Mikhail is right. I need this. I need him to take away my thoughts, even though he’s the one making me think so much.
“Tell me you’re my good girl.”
“I’m your good girl.” Pause. “Sir.”
“I want you to hold still while I take your clothes off.” His fingers slip under the straps of my dress, and my skin tingles from his touch. I suck in a sharp inhale as the cool air touches my body as my dress falls around my feet. Mikhail is an expert at undoing my bra. I hear it land on the floor. Finally, he trails his fingers down my legs as he takes my underwear off. Then I feel him kneeling behind me, his breath on my backside.
“My good girl,” he murmurs, drawing his finger up my slit. I gasp. “You’re wet for me. Already. So, why were you crying?”
“I don’t know anymore,” I admit. How can I be sad while my body is aroused? None of it makes any sense.
Mikhail pulls his hand away and stands back up. “I’m going to guide you across the room. Just start walking.” He takes my hand in his, and I force my feet to start moving. For a second, I’m worried I’m going to hit something, but then I remind myself—Mikhail wouldn’t let that happen.
He stops me when we reach … wherever we were going. Grabbing my arms, he gently pushes me back against something soft. I’m still standing, so it must be a soft wall of some sorts. Mikhail lifts my arms above my head and wraps leather cuffs around my wrists.
“You’re on my cross,” he tells me, letting me go. “Your legs are free, but your hands are not. Now, I’m going to show you what kind of pleasure I can give you.” He walks away from me. Even though the ground is carpet, I can hear his footsteps recede. I’m also colder, and that only happens when Mikhail isn’t near me.
My breath comes out faster. It’s scary being blindfolded because I can’t see what he’s going to do to me.
Remember to trust him . I’m trying. I’m really trying.
Mikhail comes back over to me, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. Just when I’m about to ask, I feel something soft yet firm touch my inner thigh.
And then I hear a buzzing sound, and my inner thigh tickles from whatever is touching me.
I jump, which makes Mikhail chuckle.
“You’re all right,” he tells me. “It’s a vibrator.”
I relax slightly, but the intense sensation on my inner thigh is almost too much.
“Have you ever used a vibrator before?”
I shake my head.
“Answer me,” he says sternly.
“No, sir. I’ve never used a vibrator before.”
“My innocent girl. I’m going to show you the fun we can have with it.” He moves the vibrator from my inner thigh and presses it straight onto my clit.
I cry out, my hips jerking up.
“Too much?” he asks.
“Yes. Yes, sir.”
“Good. That’s what I want. I want it to be too much for you.” My hips thrust up in his direction as he swirls the vibrator around my nub. I’ve never felt such an intense sensation before. When Mikhail took my virginity, that was intense. But this is on a whole other level. I much prefer his fingers and mouth and body to this.
“I can also fuck you with it,” he says in a calm voice as he shoves the tip of the vibrator inside me. I moan, dropping my head back. Even though it’s intense, it still feels good. More than good .
I tug at the cuffs around my wrists, but my arms are not going anywhere. Mikhail is relentless with the vibrator as he pushes it in and out of me. Occasionally, he’ll bring it back to my bundle of nerves before thrusting it into me.
“Mikhail,” I whimper.
“I’m ‘sir’ tonight. Remember that.”
“Please. It’s too much.” My head shakes back and forth as I speak.
“It’s not too much. You can handle this. You’re my good girl.”
“I’m not sure I can.”
He turns the vibrator off, and the sudden quiet rings in my ears. “You can. You’ve already submitted to me before. You can do it again. So, do it again.” I jump when he turns the vibrator back on and drives it into me. The buzzing sensation inside me is like nothing I’ve ever felt.
I finally let my body move with it, rather than fight it. Mikhail wants that, and I want to make Mikhail proud.
“That’s it,” he murmurs as my hips move in tandem with the vibrator. “That’s it, baby.”
My hips are going wild as I thrust them forward, trying to get my release. It’s so close yet so far at the same time.
“Make me proud.”
Mikhail’s words send me over my edge. I practically shout as my orgasm rips through my body. I slump against the cross while Mikhail removes the vibrator from me.
He runs his hand down my face. “I am so proud of you.”
I could cry.
My body is too tired to move even as Mikhail grabs my hips and lifts them, making me wrap my legs around him. He’s naked. I can feel his erection brushing against my entrance.
“Now,” he growls into my ear, “I need you to come for me again as I fuck you hard.” He slams his length right into me, not even giving me a chance to breathe. The moan that escapes me is one of pure pleasure.
Mikhail groans as he thrusts into me. I can’t see him when all I want is for our eyes to meet. I want to cling to him, but I can’t use my arms. Mikhail is, once again, in control, and all I can do is submit to him.
I can’t keep my head up as he takes me with abandon. It’s rough and raw. And I want more.
I wrap my legs tighter around his waist, drawing him in closer. Mikhail growls low in his throat, gripping my thighs hard until they bruise. I don’t even mind. I want to bruise. I want to know he’s fully claimed me.
I want him to make me forget all my fears and worries, even if my fears and worries include him.
Mikhail grinds his hips against mine, driving his erection deeper within me. My inner walls clench down hard on him, which makes me groan. I love hearing the effect I have on him. It shows me Mikhail isn’t just a scary Bratva man. He’s also human.
“You like this, my dirty girl?” he murmurs into my ear, thrusting into me harder.
“Yes,” I cry out. Thrust.
“Yes what?” Thrust.
“Yes, sir!” Thrust.
“I own you completely. Tell me. Tell me you’re mine.”
I can’t hold back anymore. My body is spent.
“I’m yours!” I gasp as I come again. My second orgasm hits me harder than the first, leaving me trembling and breathless.
Mikhail continues to thrust into me until he comes. I shiver when I feel his seed inside me. His hands grip my back as he buries his head in my neck. All I want to do is hold him.
After a minute of staying like this, he pulls out of me. Gently, he sets my legs back on the ground and uncuffs my hands. I immediately sink into his arms. Mikhail holds me for a while until he removes my blindfold. The room is shrouded in a soft glow, making it easy for me to see.
“Do you feel better?” he asks, running his hand down my cheek.
“Yes,” I admit.
“Don’t waste your time with pesky questions. It will only lead to hurt.”
I try not to flinch. There’s so much I want to know about Mikhail, but he’s still keeping me at a distance. Because I can’t ask him about his son, I’m going to ask him something else instead.
“Are we going to have children?”
Mikhail tenses for a moment before nodding. “I thought we would. We haven’t been using protection.”
“I know. Do you … want to be a dad? Again?”
“I’m not telling you about my son. Not right now. And yes, I want to be a dad again.” He turns away from me and starts pulling on his clothes. “Now, I want you to go back to our bedroom and go to sleep. We’re done here.”
But you haven’t finished comforting me , I think.
I don’t tell him this because whatever Mikhail wants, Mikhail gets.
I don’t bother grabbing my clothes as I leave the room. My sisters are asleep this time of night, and Mary’s gone home. There’s no one to see me naked.
And there’s no one to see me cry.
MIKHAIL
Twenty years ago
I had work to attend to. The usual—some guy was causing trouble, and it was my job to get him in line, either by threatening or killing him. It was a fifty/fifty when it came to my job.
But Alexei didn’t want me to go. “Stay,” he begged, clutching his teddy bear. He was so tiny at five years old. And so angelic with his blond hair, which he got from his mother. But he had my dark eyes. Alexei was my son, after all. He would take over the family business one day. It was only right he have some of me in him, and what better than my eyes? I’ve used my eyes to intimidate a lot of people. Alexei would learn to do the same.
“I can’t stay,” I tell him, slipping on my coat.
“Can you read me to sleep?”
“Your mother can do that.”
Alexei pouted and stomped his foot. “But I want you!”
“Alexei, stop this nonsense. Your mother will read to you. I will be back later. You will see me tomorrow.”
“Please,” he begged, tugging on my sleeve.
“Enough!” I shouted, making him gasp and scramble away from me. He ran to the couch and crouched down, eyeing me with fear. All the anger instantly left me.
But I didn’t walk over and comfort him. Work was more important.
So, I left, and that would be the biggest regret of my life.
The moment I returned from work, I knew something was wrong. The air was too quiet. Too tense.
I pushed the door open and stepped into something wet. Glancing down, I saw it was blood. I grabbed my gun without thinking and walked into the house.
It didn’t take long for me to find him.
Alexei.
The body of my little boy.
He was lying on the living room floor, his teddy bear next to his body, covered in blood. He’d been stabbed.
I quickly looked away, inhaling deeply. The sight of my boy dead was unbearable. How? Why? How ?
A sound by the stairs made me turn. It was Natasha. She was alive but covered in blood from the stab wounds to her body.
“Mikhail,” she whispered.
I ran to her. “What happened?”
“He’s dead,” she sobbed, clutching her hands around the wounds in her stomach. “Alexei is dead.”
“How?”
“Men came in and attacked us. They hurt me.”
I didn’t need to ask how. I already knew. It wasn’t just the stab wounds she was talking about.
“There was one man who did it. Who killed Alexei and made me watch.”
“Who? Natasha, who?”
“Ivan Petrov,” she whispered. “It was Ivan Petrov.”
I stood up and called for the doctor I always used in emergencies. Natasha would be fine. They would save her.
But my little boy was dead. And the last thing he ever experienced from me was anger. I’d shouted at him. That was what I’d left him with.
I couldn’t stand to look at his body as I left the house. Ivan Petrov was my father’s enemy and now mine. The Petrovs and the Ivanovs have been at war for years, and Ivan had just announced war by killing my son.
I would have to wait to attack him. Ivan Petrov was a powerful, well-guarded man. I made a vow I would do to his son to what he did to me. His son, Damien Petrov, was ten. I would come for him and get my revenge.
But there was nothing I could do right then and there except sit in my car, not going anywhere, and sob until my lungs hurt.
Present Day
Watching Sofiya leave me in tears brings back all the memories I tried so hard to keep down. Natasha later died from suicide after the incident. She couldn’t handle losing our baby and the trauma she’d experienced at the hands of Ivan’s men.
I never did get my revenge. Ivan had died of a heart attack not soon after, and his son, Damien, was taken into hiding. I haven’t seen him since he was ten and I was twenty-five.
I’m not sure I ever will.
I had to learn to move on from my past. I was ready to start anew with Sofiya, but now, she’s asking questions. I don’t know how to be honest with her about it. I’m not a man who’s ever vulnerable. The last time was the day of Alexei’s death.
I shut my heart off after that day, but Sofiya has reawakened something inside me. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
With a sigh, I sit on the bench and bury my head in my hands.