Chapter 53
Ridge
The remote slips out of my hand and lands somewhere between the cushions of my overstuffed sofa. I dig around for it, find it, and aim it at the television, changing the channel a few times until I find a sitcom.
For half a second, I consider cleaning up, but decide against it.
I’m on vacation, and vacations are for chilling, which is what I am doing right now.
It’s been almost two years since I took any time off, and now that I am, I’m feeling exhausted.
It’s like the second I stopped moving, every muscle in my body decided it was done.
I’m not going to give myself a hard time about it.
There’s no one here to impress. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll deal with it then.
Empty takeout containers are stacked on the coffee table. Some are from the burger place down the road. Two from the steakhouse on the corner, where I ordered the bone-in ribeye both times. There’s a flat brown paper bag from that Thai place across town with the extra hot green curry.
No pizza.
I haven’t ordered pizza, and I don’t plan on ordering it any time soon. The thought of pizza makes me think of her. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to touch pepperoni again, and if that makes me a pussy, then so be it.
I click through the channels again. There’s a movie I’ve already seen. I think I might have seen them all. At least, it feels that way. I leave it on something with explosions and let the noise wash over me.
There’s a knock at the door. I ignore it. It’ll be Flint. Or Magma. Or both of them showing up together like a tag team.
Assholes.
They think I need babysitting or something. I don’t. I’m fine.
They’ve been coming around since the day I started my vacation, calling and texting and turning up at random hours like I’m some kind of project they’re working on.
I don’t need anyone fussing over me. I need them to go away already and to give me some peace.
The knock comes again, louder this time. With a growl, I grab the throw pillow next to me and pull it over my head. Whoever it is can take the hint and leave. I’m sleeping…or will be soon.
I take the pillow off my face when the knocking stops. The front door opens. I stay very still and hope that whoever it is will look around, decide I’m not here, and leave. I should have locked my door. I’m an idiot.
“Oh, my god.” It’s Carla’s voice. “What is that smell?”
I sit up a little, and Carla stands in my entryway with her purse hooked over one arm and her face screwed up like she’s just walked into a crime scene.
“Go away,” I tell her, and pull the pillow back down. “Did you hear me telling you that you could come in? No, you didn’t.”
“Ridge.” She walks into my house. “Get up.”
“I’m on vacation. I’m resting. You should leave.”
“Ummmmm… Get up,” she tells me, like she didn’t just hear a word I said.
“Carla, I swear—”
“Look at this place.”
I prop myself up on my elbow.
“Leave it.”
But she’s already moving through the living room, dropping her purse on a chair and yanking the drapes open. Late afternoon sun hits me square in the eyes, and I groan.
“Close those. I’m watching a movie.” I gesture toward the television.
“I will not.” She moves to the next window and pulls those open too. “It’s dark as a cave in here.” Then she starts opening windows. “And stuffy.”
“Stop. I want to be left in peace.”
“Right.” She turns around and props her hands on her hips, looking me over from head to toe like she’s appraising livestock. “You are disgusting.”
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“When did you last shower?”
“Who cares? I’m on vacation.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?” she asks.
“Thanks for coming. I’m not sure why you’re here. I’m sure you mean well, but I’m not in the mood.”
“I don’t care.” She grabs one of the takeout containers and stacks it on top of another and then a third. “This is pathetic. You are pathetic.”
“Did Flint put you up to this? Or Magma?”
She turns to look at me, arms full of takeout containers. She puts them back down, and I sit up.
“No, I went by Security Central to see you. I wanted to talk to you. The receptionist told me you were on vacation. That’s when I saw Flint. He called me into Magma’s office. They told me that you hadn’t left town. That you were holed up at home, and they gave me your home address.”
“I’ll bet they did,” I mutter.
“They care about you, and they’re worried just like I’m worried about Robyn.”
I rub my face. I’ve got a beard growing.
Crap!
When did that happen?
I’d better shave.
Then I compute what she’s saying and sit up straighter. “Why are you worried about Robyn? What’s wrong?”
“See? You care.”
“Of course I care, I care very much. Is she alright?”
“She’s fine.”
I heave out a sigh of relief. “Don’t scare me like that, Carla. Now listen, I appreciate you stopping by. I really do. But I’d like you to leave now.”
“No.” She walks the takeout containers into my kitchen and dumps them into the trash. I hear her open the cupboard under the sink and grab another bag. “I’m going to say my piece, and then I’ll leave.”
“I don’t want to hear your piece. And leave my trash alone. I’ll take it out.”
“When? At this rate, the trash will take itself out. Here’s the thing, Ridge.” She comes back into the living room. “Both you and Robyn are in a bad place right now. You’re both pining like a couple of teenagers. Neither of you will admit it. You’re both stubborn as hell.”
I widen my eyes. “Robyn is pining?”
Carla lifts a brow at me. “You’re not that dense, are you?”
“I’m going to assume that’s a rhetorical question. You said Robyn is pining?”
“It wasn’t rhetorical at all. You’re both in love with each other, and you both refuse to face facts. So yes, Ridge. She’s pining. Just like you’re pining. You’ve turned into a lazy ass, and she hasn’t stopped working.”
I shake my head. “Nope. No. You’re wrong there.
Robyn isn’t in love with me. Not even a little.
She made that very clear. I’m sure she’s just catching up on her work.
She told me plenty of times how she needs to get on top of things.
That’s all it is, and this…” I point around the room, “is me taking a break. You have it all wrong.”
“I don’t have it wrong. Unlike you, I don’t believe her when she says she isn’t in love with you.” Carla shakes her head and rolls her eyes so hard I’m surprised they don’t get stuck. “Typical stupid male.”
“Of course I believed her. Robyn spelled it out for me. She told me she didn’t want me. She thanked me very politely for everything I’d done, and then she shut the door in my face.”
“Of course she did. You behaved like an asshole. You deserved that.”
“I know I did, and so I left. I’ve honored her wishes.”
“That makes you an idiot,” Carla tells me.
“I don’t compute. You tell me I behaved like an asshole and that I don’t deserve Robyn, and then you tell me I’m an idiot for doing as she asks and staying away. I feel like we’re talking in circles. I don’t deserve her, Carla. She’s right to have pushed me away.”
“You really are a self-deprecating idiot.” Carla raises her voice. “You took the abuse, and you let her kick you out, and you’ve done nothing about it since.”
“What was I supposed to do?” I throw my hands up. “What should I do? I told you, I’m honoring her wishes.”
“You should get yourself a gold star,” Carla mutters under her breath, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. “You need to fight for her, you idiot. You are in love with her, so you need to fight. Get off your lazy ass and start fighting.”
I stand up. “I don’t know.” I start pacing.
“Do you love her?” Carla asks.
I spin around. “Yes, and I would fight for her, but I don’t think she feels the same. I wrecked everything.”
“It’s true.” Carla nods. “You did wreck everything, but you are wrong about how she feels about you. She loves you, Ridge.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Firstly, because I know love when I see it, and then secondly, because she doesn’t want to talk about you. The only thing she’ll admit is that she’s addicted to your dick.”
I grin. I can’t help it. “She said that?”
Carla gives me a dirty look. “Get your head out of your ass. This isn’t about your dick. It never was.”
“That’s true.” I nod a few times, and the grin falls off my face.
“She won’t talk about you because she still has feelings for you.
If she didn’t, she wouldn’t care. She’d talk about you like you were some guy she met at a bar one time and never thought of again.
She doesn’t do that. She avoids the subject.
She gets prickly if I bring you up. She’s working herself into the ground. She misses you.”
“Do you think so? Genuinely?”
“Yes. I’m one hundred percent certain.” Carla nods. “I see her every day, Ridge. I’ve watched her go from being a happy person who loved her job to a workaholic who eats lunch at her desk and doesn’t sleep enough. She’s absolutely miserable.”
“Is she really? This is great! I’m so happy.” I realize what I just said. “I mean, it’s great about her missing me and loving me, not the part about her being miserable.”
I sit back down on the sofa. “What do I have to do to get her back?” I ask. “How do I win her over?”
Carla looks around the room. “Firstly, you clean this place. It’s disgusting.”
“It isn’t always like this.”
“Whatever.” She makes a dismissive gesture. “Then you get yourself cleaned up because you’re ewww. When was the last time you showered?”
I shrug.
“You look like shit. A beard is not your thing.”
“I haven’t been feeling like myself.”
“No shit. Which brings me to my next point. You need to quit whining like a little bitch, and start fighting.”
“What would you suggest?”
She gives me a scathing look that makes me want to put the pillow back over my head. Carla is a little scary.
“I can’t tell you what to do or how to do it.
That’s on you. If you love her, then go and get her.
Ask ChatGPT or Google. Read a book about it…
I don’t know. You’re the one who needs to figure it out.
Show her you mean it. Don’t just show up at her door and expect her to fall into your arms because you’re sorry.
She needs more than that. And don’t give up on the first try.
If you fail, you try again and again and again. ”
“Okay. I can do that.” I nod, slowly. “I can. Thank you, Carla. I owe you one.”
“You can name your firstborn after me. How’s that?”
I let out a laugh that surprises me. “Let’s not get too excited.”
“Suit yourself.” She shrugs and grins, picking her purse up off the chair. “I’m going. I’ve said what I came to say. Don’t make me come back here.” She points at me.
“I won’t.”
“I mean it, Ridge. If I have to come back, I’m bringing rubber gloves and a hose, and you’ll be sorry.”
“Understood.”
She points at me on her way to the door. “Fight for her.”
“I will.”
I watch Carla leave.
Then I go to the coffee table and gather the rest of the containers into my arms. I carry them through to the kitchen and drop them into the bag next to my overflowing trash.
I feel a little lighter than I did half an hour ago.
Robyn is in love with me. She misses me. She’s miserable.
I have no idea what I’m going to do to fix it. But I’m going to figure it out. This is completely foreign territory to me.