14. Enslee
Ibarely remembered anything these days. There was just about nothing I could recall past or present, but I did clearly remember, or at least I felt like I’d fallen asleep in Declan’s arms. Later, I was carried by the same man into my room.
But was this my room?
Nothing about the place seemed familiar.
It was a beautiful space, don't get me wrong, but it didn't seem to fit me.
The clothes in the closet, those were me.
They made me feel comfortable in my own skin, which was something I hadn't felt since I’d woken up from this nightmare, but it wasn't really a nightmare.
Something told me this might have been the best life I've ever lived, but maybe there was something darker. After all, I’d once heard that if things were too good to be true, odds were that they were.
The voice was old and comforting, and for a moment I thought it might’ve been wisdom from Edna, but the accent was different.
Who was that woman? And what was she referring to?
Frustration filled me as nothing came to mind.
Maybe there was something so terrible that I didn't want to remember.
Was there some sort of trauma my mind was conveniently blocking from me?
These men tiptoed around me, just like everyone else too.
Was it because they were afraid of me finding out something horrifying?
I laughed aloud to myself at that. The thought was preposterous at best. Why would somebody want me to lose my memories and not recover them? That made no sense at all. Still, as I sat up in bed and looked around the room, there didn't seem to be any personal effects whatsoever.
This could’ve been a guest room in somebody's rich mansion on the hill. It was a rich mansion. Maybe it was just the way they had them decorated. What I did know, though, was that I wanted to start doing everything possible to recover my memories, and I planned to start today.
I wanted to see pictures of myself, wanted to feel or see myself the way others did, and maybe then I’d be able to see whatever it was I was trying so hard to repress inside.
I swung my legs over the bed, then grabbed a tank top and a pair of stretchy yoga pants from the dresser before heading into the bathroom.
The shower itself was massive and encased in stone with some sort of river rock on the bottom. And each time I turned or moved within the shower, the now warmed stones massaged the bottom of my soles.
Yeah, nothing about this place is familiar whatsoever.
After I got out, I looked in the cabinet and furrowed my brows when I couldn't find anything of mine.
No perfume. No makeup. Did I even wear makeup?
There was also no jewelry. Nothing. I had a brush, but that's only because I’d seen it yesterday in my purse along with basically nothing else.
Just a pen, some normal baubles, and a half-open pack of candy in a butterscotch flavor.
It was weird because I couldn't even remember liking those, and as I had popped one into my mouth, even it didn't taste familiar. Nothing really did.
I wouldn't let this dim my good mood, though. When I’d woken up, it was the first time since the fall that I hadn't experienced throbbing pain in my head.
Granted, when I touched behind the back of it, I could still feel the cut and even the slight scab, but it no longer sent shooting waves of pain through my body.
I went ahead and got dressed, drying my hair the best that I could, then ran the brush through it.
Afterward, I decided to venture out of the room to see what else I could find.
Something else that seemed odd was why I was sleeping alone.
If I was in a relationship with these men, where were they?
There was nothing of theirs in this room either.
Again, that’d be a question I would find out later.
And just like yesterday, there were voices in the kitchen.
I made my way down the hallway, and instead of the large spread there was yesterday, there was simply coffee, juice, and what looked like donuts.
My mouth watered looking at those. What was odd was that not a single donut was removed.
“Morning,” I said softly.
There were only three others here: Edna, Declan, and Jenni. I didn’t expect to see the physician again for a few days, but there was a noticeable absence. Brogan wasn’t here.
It’d been something I’d noticed right away. Yesterday, when I’d walked into the room and they were both here, there was so much maleness. They both exuded such dominance and authority on their own. But when together, it was nearly stifling, almost suffocating.
All three looked over at me, especially Declan.
His eyes ran the length of my body from my head to my toes and back up to my head, stopping at my face before he plastered on a polite smile.
It was the kind someone like him would give at a press event.
It was the type he’d probably perfected after rehearsing it hundreds of times.
My eyes narrowed slightly, but I plastered on my own fake polite smile. If this is how he wanted to play things, I could do it too. The smile dropped from his face, and he regarded me for a few more seconds before he turned back to Jenni.
“So, you said that you're going to be away for the weekend,” he asked her.
“Yes, I have a trip. I should be back in a couple of days, so I’ll see you bright and early Monday morning.”
“Have a safe trip,” he said to her. “Enjoy it. You’ve definitely earned extra time off after all of your recent help.”
“Thanks, boss. With the… ahh… bonus, I can actually afford to go on one for a change.” She then smiled as she looked over his shoulder at me. “And hi, Enslee. I'm sorry we don’t have more time to chat. One of these days, we're gonna have to get together for some girl time.”
“Sounds good,” I replied simply because it sounded like the right thing to say.
She smiled brightly at me, and it was actually genuine, real. It made me smile some more.
As she disappeared through the door, I almost wondered if she and I did things before.
Did we go out and paint the town red? Was it blue or black?
I didn't know what anything was. I ventured over to the island and took a seat on one of the bar stools. Edna looked up from her cleaning and regarded me with a pleasant enough expression. Yesterday, I’d pestered the woman with all kinds of questions, wanting her thoughts, her opinions, facts, figures… really anything I could think to ask.
I just wanted to feel closer to her, to these men, to this house, to this world, and mostly this life. But she hadn't said much other than that the doctor wanted me to regain my memories on my own. And that I would. She had no doubts about that whatsoever.
Declan had also helped a little, or at least he’d tried by answering some of my questions about favorites, but I still couldn't remember anything he said about mine, and nothing that he said about his.
I glanced nervously at the man. He was now seated two bar stools down from me, yet he felt like a stranger.
Yesterday, when I’d been reading my book, I tried to picture the heroes as both Brogan and Declan, but I quickly realized I wasn't a heroine, not in that story, and probably not in my own, either. It made me question myself and things, so it was no wonder I bombarded Declan with questions I’d wanted to know.
They’d been minuscule things about myself, but also about him to see if any of our interests, likes, or dislikes were the same.
Granted, we never did get around to the pet peeves part.
Perhaps there’d be time today unless he also had to leave.
I dared to glance back at him, and when I did, I found him still staring at me.
That piercing gaze. He was treating me like a book he was trying to read, but one where the font was so small that he had to squint to see it.
“Good morning, Enslee. I trust that you slept well.”
“I did. Where is… ahh… Brogan?” I asked.
If he was anywhere to be found, I didn't see him. I supposed he could’ve been in the shower, or maybe he'd already left for work. But Jenni had said it was the weekend. Did everyone work on the weekend? I had no idea what he did.
“No. Brogan’s actually handling some business right now,” he replied, and that answered that.
“So, it's just the two of us again?”
“Just the two of us,” he repeated in answer.
And the tone in which he said it made a shiver race down my spine.
It wasn't said in an evil or manipulative way.
He actually seemed happy about it. A movie star was happy to be alone with me.
This had to be a dream. Maybe I truly had fallen and hit my head, and I was still wallowing in unconsciousness, because this couldn't be real.
It had to be a dream. But as his gaze continued to penetrate mine, I knew it wasn't.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Well, for starters, you said you had wanted to see some pictures. I'll be more than happy to share some of those with you.”
Something foreign filled me and my smile grew wide. “You would?”
This’ll prove that everything’s real, right?
“But first, I want you to eat something, and donuts are your favorite. One of your guilty pleasures is what you’d say.”
“I did?”
“You normally eat pretty healthy,” he explained.
I supposed that was what the strawberries were for yesterday, and it was probably the reason Edna had made me a chicken Caesar salad for lunch. I went ahead and broke a piece off the donut, then popped it into my mouth. Yes, I could definitely see why this was a guilty pleasure.