14. Enslee #2
Declan turned back to whatever he was looking at on his phone, stopping on occasion to fire off a text message or two.
It made me realize that my own cell phone was missing.
At least I thought I had a cell phone. It didn't seem normal in this day and age not to have one. I would broach that with him later. Right now, I finished off the donut and even ate a second one, not realizing how ravenously hungry I’d been until the sweet treats disappeared in the blink of an eye.
After, I dabbed at the powder on my mouth with my hand until he slid a napkin toward me.
I quickly removed the rest, careful not to get it all over my shirt, then chased it down with a glass of orange juice.
Unlike yesterday, they didn't dare to give me grapefruit juice again, but I wanted something different than water. Edna must’ve seen how much I’d loved the orange juice she had freshly squeezed the day before as I drank some with my lunch because it’d been waiting for me this morning.
The woman was quite efficient. She didn't live here full time, as she’d explained when giving me a little background on herself.
From what I could now recall, she had one child who was fully grown and lived out of town, so she didn't have a lot waiting for her in the city. Not a lot waiting for her at home.
She was a loner, unlike Declan and Brogan.
Of course, she devoted her time moving between their places.
I didn't know how many places this included, but it had at least included a few. There was something about the way she’d described her life, though.
It made me wonder how long I’d been alone too, because I had been at one time.
That was something that actually felt real.
I could almost feel the pangs of loneliness as they wrapped around me like a blanket tightening ever so much.
But then I thought about Brogan, Declan, Jenni, and Edna, and I realized I wasn't alone anymore.
As soon as I focused on the family I now had, that constricting feeling lessened and I could breathe once more.
I only wished this quasi-family I woke up to find myself in was real.
The people were all strangers, but then again, I stared at one every day when I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Despite not remembering all these people and the happiness we brought each other, the feeling of warmth did feel real, but I couldn't recall why.
Nonetheless, Declan got up and moved into the other room, and he was now on the telephone.
I stared at him as he paced back and forth.
On occasion, he would smile, and unlike the one he had given me earlier, this one was real.
It was genuine. There was so much happiness on his face as he spoke to whoever it was.
On the other end, I'd only seen that sort of happiness around one person, which was Brogan.
The other man was a bit of an enigma. Unless I’d imagined it all, he’d seemed doting and concerned the night of the fall, and if he still was, where was he?
And I didn’t just mean in this moment. Where had he been last night?
Declan had been the one to bring me to my room.
And he was here this morning when I woke up, but Brogan had already gone to work.
“He sounds like a raging workaholic,” I muttered to myself.
Did he come in late and leave early often?
Was this a standard routine? Or did he usually stay at one of those other places in the city that Edna had mentioned before?
That made no sense, so it had to be here.
And if so, why did he not come home to see me?
And if he was the one on the other line with Declan, would he at least not have wanted to speak to me too?
Something flashed in my head, but it disappeared as quickly as it came.
His absence was basically a rejection of sorts.
And what was ironic was that it actually didn’t feel foreign.
Being rejected by Brogan Sinclair. I still had no idea who he was, but I just had the strangest feeling that it was sort of expected.
That’s crazy, isn't it? How could I be in a relationship with a man who rejects me?
It didn't seem right. Of course, nothing else seemed right in this world, either. So I went ahead and made my way into the other room. Declan smiled again at me this time as I moved to the couch. This one was more genuine, like the kind he gave Jenni.
“Hey, Brogan. Enslee’s awake now,” Declan said, and seconds later I heard a deep voice that sent a shudder down my spine.
“Hello, Sleeping Beauty.”
“Umm… Hello,” I said weakly, then added. “I miss you.”
Oh, my God.
What am I doing?
Have I always been this needy?
Before the fall, I would’ve slapped my hand over my face in mortification, or at least I would’ve liked to have believed that. Before he could respond, I quickly started to ramble again. “I mean… I… ahh… I thought you’d be at breakfast today, and when you weren’t… Will I see you today?”
There was a neediness in my voice, but wouldn't a girlfriend want to see one of her boyfriends? “Yes, I'll be there soon. I’m taking care of a little business.”
“Declan mentioned that you were working. I… ahh… I need to get something out of my room, so I’ll see you later.”
When I heard nothing afterward, I assumed Declan disconnected the speaker and put it back on his headset, so I quickly disappeared from the room.
Something about that raspy voice evoked emotions in me, but not the warm, calming, soothing ones that Declan’s did.
Brogan’s voice made my blood race, made my face heat, made my core ache.
Oh, my God! I’m more attracted to the asshole of the two.
Of course, he was devastatingly handsome.
I mean, Declan was gorgeous, but there was a dark aura about Brogan.
An unhinged passion as if something was being restrained within him.
I didn’t know why I thought this now, but it was as if he was running from who he really was and denying his inner intricacies as he shielded himself from the scrutiny of the outside world.
I had to have fallen for him because he was a bad boy.
I hurried into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, and as suspected, my cheeks were flushed, and my lips were nearly parted.
I couldn't remember kissing the two men, but since reading that book, I’d tried imagining them as those heroes and me as the heroine trapped between their rock-hard bodies with their hands moving over every inch of me.
I had the desire to slip my hand between my legs, but I didn't. Still, I couldn’t ignore this sexual ache, and that alone made me splash more cold water onto my face.