16. Enslee
When I’d awakened this morning, I still had no recollection of who I was, and what my past life had been pre-fall, but I still held some optimism regarding the future.
Yesterday, Brogan, Declan, and I had watched movies and gone through so many photographs.
The overwhelming thought that had gone through my foggy brain was that I’d been so happy in each and every one of them, which was what hurt me now the most.
How could I forget the feelings displayed in those pictures?
These men had larger-than-life personas, and although I couldn’t remember my past, something still told me that they were out of my league. For me to have forgotten them so easily had to have at least hurt their pride if not their heart.
And that organ was the one inside me that ached the most. We’d had so much fun discussing the movies, roasting the cheesy rom-com plots, and both men had even pressed their lips to mine before I’d gone off to bed.
How could a kiss not bring back anything for me?
Still, I was hopeful both men would be home today so I could re-learn them. As it were, the very thought caused a small fluttering in my chest. This would have to be what butterflies felt like. And it also caused an ache between my legs.
Last night, I’d gone to sleep with their kisses on my lips.
It hadn’t taken long to imagine feeling those same mouths on different parts of me.
I’d ended up with my fingers between my legs as I made myself climax.
I didn’t even remember what sex was, but they’d uncovered a repressed need, and memory, inside me.
My dreams had been vivid as I’d imagined first a touch that made me physically recoil, although I had no idea whose touch it was. But that morphed into another, and I could see and feel myself riding a man’s cock. It had to have been either Brogan’s or Declan’s. Right?
It’d been the first time I’d remembered anything in my sleep. The first two nights had been a black cave filled with so much darkness that it terrified me. While I still couldn’t see the light at the end of it, I felt like I was at least on the right path.
I stretched out in the bed, and when I brought my hand to my warm, naked flesh, I was soaked in sweat.
But besides that, there was a foreign ache between my legs.
I almost thought to slip my fingers back inside me, but it had barely taken the edge off last night, so I figured it would be a wasted effort.
I did pinch and roll my nipples between my fingers, though, and had nearly moaned out until I heard a slight rapping at the door. Busted! Or maybe not, I thought to myself as Declan’s voice came through the thick wood.
“Are you awake, Enslee?”
The last thing I wanted him to do was walk in and see me in such a needy state. While there was every chance he could get me off, there was also the chance he wouldn’t, which would fill me with mortification.
“Y-yes,” I quickly stammered. “Do you need something?”
I slapped my hands to my face at that. Thankfully, his tone didn’t change as he responded, “Dr. Pierce is here and would like to look you over.”
“I… ahh… I need to take a shower, so I’ll be out soon.”
“Take your time. It’s Sunday, and we’re still making breakfast.”
My stomach growled at the mention of food, and I forced myself to sit upright.
Declan said nothing else, so I got out of bed and walked over to the dresser.
I could’ve grabbed some pants and a hoodie from the closet, but my entire body was aflame.
I suspected it was the effect of being around such virile males, but maybe I was coming down with something.
Regardless, I grabbed a tank much like the one I had on yesterday, but I chose a pair of shorts instead of pants this time. I also grabbed some panties and a bra, then made my way into the bathroom.
My hair was a mess and my face was flushed. A thin sheen of perspiration made my skin glisten, especially as the sunlight streaming through the window hit the damp spots at just the right angle. I groaned and was now even happier that Declan hadn’t come inside the bedroom to see me like this.
I’d make myself presentable, then hopefully get the “all’s clear” on my examination, even if I had no idea what that would change when it came to my current situation.
My head didn’t even hurt anymore, not that there was much in there to ache.
My mind was an empty shell, but hopefully I’d learn more today as I continued to go down memory lane with my men.
I quickly showered because I didn’t want to keep the doctor waiting.
I’m sure he had much better things to do on the weekend than deal with me.
By the time I’d pulled my still damp hair into a scrunchie, I heard a faraway voice in my head. “If you keep tying your hair up when it’s wet, it’ll fall out.”
Again, it wasn’t Edna’s voice, or even Jenni’s.
There was such warmth in the voice, though.
It’d been the second time I’d heard it now, and I knew the person had to be someone close to me.
I might’ve even wondered if that woman was out there waiting or looking for me, but something else would happen each time I heard it, which made me think otherwise.
Something would squeeze in my chest, then twist, and a feeling of grief would fill me.
Whoever it is, I know they’re gone from me.
It sucked not to remember the present, but even more so not to remember the past. The people who’d come and gone from my life.
Their impact on my current world and view.
To forget what had to have been such an important part of my family history hurt me deeply.
If I had to guess, the woman I kept hearing in my thoughts might’ve been a grandmother.
That thought felt right, and I let out a forlorn sigh.
I did a quick once-over on my reflection, then left the bedroom.
As soon as I stepped out into the hallway, the scent of bacon filled my nose.
I followed the scent wafting down the hallway, and by the time I reached the kitchen, Jenni was busy doing something with some eggs while Declan, Brogan, and the doctor looked on.
No one had noticed me yet, so I leaned against the wall briefly to look at them.
The girl was quite efficient as she alternated between what I now suspected was her scrambling the eggs and flipping some pancakes.
My stomach made another foreign sound, and I pushed off the wall and walked toward everyone else.
The doctor was the first to notice me. “You’re looking quite well, Miss Byrne.”
Byrne? It was then I realized it must’ve been my last name. I smiled at him and squirreled that tidbit away for another time. Maybe later I’d spend some time scribbling my full name until it became natural.
“I feel so much better than the last time you saw me,” I replied.
Brogan and Declan both turned toward me, then the latter motioned for me to join them.
I noticed the empty stool between the two men and quickly took a seat.
I glanced first at Brogan, who was staring at my lips, before dropping his gaze to my cleavage.
A frisson of electricity passed in the air between us, then he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.
I wanted to feel them there all day, but a pair of strong arms turned me around before his lips came down on mine. Unlike Brogan, however, Declan traced my lips with his tongue. The moment I parted mine, Jenni interrupted us.
“Your color has returned, although I suspect the redness in your cheeks has something to do with these two,” she said as she motioned to my men.
More heat bloomed in my cheeks, and Declan chuckled softly beside me. “Stop making her blush.”
I went to drop my head, but Brogan slid his hand up under my chin and tipped my head up, then to the side. “Although she does blush so beautifully.” I swallowed hard, then he leaned in and whispered into my ear. “We like to see the effect we have on you.”
That moment ended when plates were set down in front of all of us. Brogan’s hand slipped and I turned back fully in my seat. We all had more or less the same thing, which was pancakes, scrambled eggs, and that delectable bacon I’d smelled from the hallway.
My men had coffee and I had orange juice. At least it wasn’t grapefruit juice like that first morning. I was about to take a bite of my food when Jenni moved her own plate in front of her as she stood directly across from me.
“Would you like some fruit, Enslee? I could cut you up some strawberries or slice a banana.”
“W-where is Edna?” I stammered upon realizing that it was usually the other woman doing all the cooking.
“She takes Sundays off,” Declan said to me. “Jenni returned early and is often kind enough to come over to make sure that Brogan and I… ummm… and you do not starve.”
“Oh, I didn’t remember,” I said as I brought a mouthful of eggs to my mouth.
“Speaking of memories, have you recovered any of yours?” the doctor asked me.
I swallowed down the bite, then shook my head. “Not many. However, I’ve been hearing a woman’s voice.”
“A woman?” Brogan asked in concern.
“I think it might be an ancestor, because it sounds old, and I get sad upon hearing it.”
“Might be your grandmother,” Declan offered up. “Every year, you make a point to celebrate her on her birthday even though she’s gone.”
He’d meant to say something else but quickly corrected himself. What it was wasn’t important. What did matter was that he confirmed I did once have a grandmother I loved a lot who’d passed.
“Go ahead and eat up, then I’ll give you an exam,” the doctor said.
It took me about fifteen minutes to get down an entire pancake, the scrambled eggs, and two strips of bacon, and I was stuffed by the time I finished.
The men had finished theirs well before me and were now talking to Jenni in the other room.
It was only when they saw Dr. Pierce standing beside me with his stethoscope that they joined us.
“Your heart rate is steady, and ohh… it’s now racing.
” He looked over his shoulders at Brogan and Declan, then chuckled.
“I can see why. I’m very pleased with your vitals.
Your blood pressure is excellent too. Do you mind taking your hair down so I can inspect your wound?
” I removed the scrunchie, then he parted my hair near the cut.
I felt a bit of a scab over the last two days, but it didn’t hurt, even when he put added pressure on it. “Does that hurt at all?”
“No. I actually don’t feel any pain, outside of the kind that involves not remembering a moment of your life.”
“You’ll get your memories back one day. I’m very pleased that physically you’re in great shape. There’s no reason you can’t resume all normal activities now.”
“Thank you, Lee,” Declan said to him, and as the doctor moved back to put his stethoscope in his bag, both men joined him, and Jenni came up to me.
“That’s great that you’re doing so well.”
“So I might take you up soon on the offer to hang out,” I told her.
She smiled, but something flashed in her eyes that I couldn’t recognize. “Of course, we will soon,” she said before grabbing the empty plates.
I alternated between watching her wash the dishes and the men talk to the doctor.
Something struck me in that moment, and it was that I felt like some sort of third wheel.
Everyone was off doing something and I was just here.
Just here. The words made my nose scrunch up, and deciding to leave everyone to what they were doing, I went into the living room.
Not long after, Jenni popped her head into the room to tell me she was leaving, and the doctor soon followed. After, the men stepped down into the sunken space and my heart rate picked up. Both had removed the shirts they’d had on earlier, and my gaze widened as it swept from one to the other.
The men were the same in height and weight, but those were where the similarities ended.
Brogan had darker hair, which was a bit longer in the front, and a short beard I ached to feel against my skin.
I had no idea where that thought came from, but as I looked at the other man, he had a slightly lighter shade of dark hair, but also piercing eyes and a beard much like Brogan’s.
He was also all lean muscle, including one arm which was covered in ink I hadn’t yet fully seen.
They were both regarding me with the same look, and I noticed how I was sitting and quickly closed my legs. I’d been half sprawled out on the damn couch, and although I couldn’t remember being in their arms, I knew what sex was.
And damn, if these men didn’t make me want to offer myself to them.
“What would you like to do today?” Brogan asked.
“Could we maybe go somewhere that we used to go… maybe even do something we used to do?”
Brogan went to speak, but Declan beat him to it. “Jenni already said there are some paparazzi camped outside the community. I don’t want to have to subject you to them today.”
“Would I have been subjected to them in the past?”
“Yes, but we also like to keep things more low-key on the weekends. If you really want to do what we normally do, then this is it. As long as we stay home, we’re willing to do anything you want to do.”
I couldn’t help but shiver as he put emphasis on that one word. My gulp was louder than intended, especially since both men had now gotten closer to me. So much testosterone, and while I likely enjoyed it, something changed so suddenly that my shiver became for a different reason.
It was only there for the briefest moment, but it was intense enough to give me pause. Closing my eyes, I tried to recreate the moment of abject terror I felt, but it was as gone as quickly as every other memory.
Why would I have ever been afraid of them?
I opened my eyes when I realized I wouldn’t get that answer now.
And when I did, both men were staring at me.
Declan looked to be the most concerned as he leaned down and touched me.
The moment his hand made contact with my flesh, I felt a static jolt of electricity pass between his fingers and into my bloodstream.
“Are you okay, Enslee? You’re shaking.”
“Did you remember something?” Brogan asked me.
“I’m fine, and no, I didn’t remember anything. Dr. Pierce did say that it was only a matter of time before I did. I just want that time to be now because I hate that I can’t remember all these wonderful times we had together. It isn’t either of you, but me. I’m broken, I guess.”
“You’re not bro—”
“We’re all broken,” Brogan said, not only cutting off Declan but contradicting him as well. “It’s what we do with those pieces to survive that matters.”
“I guess that is one way to look at it,” I responded, then plastered on the cheeriest smile that I could. “Could we go swimming? I don’t remember if I know how to, but—”
“We’ll protect you,” Declan said before giving a wink, and I grinned back at him.