26. Brogan
Today had been no easier for me as a fresh batch of salacious clickbait was released into the fucking stratosphere.
The most concerning of those stories had been about my imminent departure from Sinclair Pharmaceuticals.
An “anonymous source” said the board was meeting as he or she spoke to discuss making me step down.
It’d been enough to keep me pissed off all day, even though I found no evidence of that being true. At least not yet.
I almost wished I hadn’t had that late investor meeting because I needed to see Declan. He’d always been the calming force during my storms of life, and I needed him now more than ever. My lifeline… my anchor… my life vest when swept out to sea…
I couldn’t see him face to face, so I’d settle for his voice. He hadn’t answered the first time I’d called him, but I’d no sooner gotten changed out of my suit and tie when my cell phone rang. I knew from the ringtone exactly who it was.
“Did I catch you at a bad time? I asked Declan as soon as he spoke.
“No, I was just wrapping something up,” he said dismissively, which made my brows furrow.
“What were you doing?”
“Not really so much what, but who I was doing,” he finally said after several long seconds.
“I see.” I forced myself to swallow down the mouthful of jealousy, but my tone must’ve betrayed me.
“You’re not jealous about me fucking Enslee, are you?”
I wasn’t, or at least shouldn’t have been, but the events of the day had me questioning where, if anywhere, I even belonged anymore. If Declan and Enslee were happy, how soon would it be before they phased me out too?
“No,” I lied. There was no need to push my own insecurities onto him.
“Do I wish I’d been there balls deep inside of her?
Hell, yes, but, I mean, we’ve discussed this before.
” And we had, ad nauseum it seemed. “We both knew there were going to be times when we’d have to individually fuck her to keep up the ruse.
It’s not like it actually meant anything.
Right?” His silence had me scowling, but I managed to keep my growl in.
“Declan, it doesn't mean anything, does it?”
This time he responded right away. “No, Brogan. Not to me. I mean, I like her… I care about her… but, you know, it's… I mean, this is a game.”
And it was a game, just not one I’d ever wanted to play.
“Sometimes we just have to deal with the cards that are dealt,” I said in response.
“I know, and the cards you've been dealt lately have been a shitty fucking hand.”
I let out a sigh. “The investigators are scouring everywhere for Layla. Do you really think she's in Mexico?”
Declan sighed this time before responding. “I don't know. I've gotten a lead on it, and anything is worth following up on at this point. I just wish you could come with me. You, me, and a tropical island with nothing but the sun beating down on our naked asses.”
My cock hardened at the visual. There was nothing more that I wanted than to bury my goddamn head in the sand and pretend as if my entire life wasn’t falling down around my ankles.
The truth was that regardless of whether Layla was found or returned on her own, the damage to my name, reputation, and even that of Sinclair Pharmaceuticals had been damaged beyond all repair.
“Yeah, you know, that's not possible. While I wasn't given the ‘don't leave town’ speech, it was kind of implied. As hard as your visual makes me, it wouldn't look right for me to run off to Mexico.”
“Bummer,” Declan said before letting out a chuckle. “I do understand, though. We're trying to keep everything on the down low.”
“I really wish it never had to be like that,” I said honestly.
“Once we find Layla, why don’t we come out?”
“Your father… my father… and that’s just for starters.”
“Fuck all of that. I love you, Brogan. I’ve loved you all my life, and that’ll never change. We deserve to be happy just as anyone else does.”
“It’s more complicated than that, and you know it.”
I wished that it didn’t have to be, but our reality was different.
Declan was on every fucking magazine, television, and movie screen while I ran a global pharmaceuticals company that was on the cusp of cancer, pain management, and autoimmune disease breakthroughs.
While our personal lives had nothing to do with those, it also had everything to do with it at the same time.
If my father and his brutal treatment of me over the years had done nothing else, he’d beaten the fact that appearances matter into everything I said and did out in public.
Much to his chagrin, his words didn’t matter when I was alone with my man.
“If she’s there, I’m going to bring her back,” Declan assured me.
“I trust you”
“Seeing you so unhappy makes me feel so damn guilty,” Declan said.
“It isn’t your fault,” I assured him. “Layla knew we were together when she’d agreed to the arrangement. She’d even taken some of my money. I’m just not sure why she didn’t take all of it.”
“She can answer those questions and prove she's alive once she gets back to town. Afterward, the police can drop this asinine fucking investigation of theirs, and we can be together. That's what you want, baby, isn't it?”
“Of course, that's what I want, Declan. It's all I've ever wanted. I'm just… you know… Take today, for example. I'm at work in back-to-back meetings, and all I kept asking myself was if this is really my fucking life.”
“You live and breathe for Sinclair Pharma—”
“Do I actually live though? I knew upon leaving there that I’d go home to an empty penthouse where I’ll spend another night all alone.”
“Do you need me to come over?”
“No. You have an early flight in the morning, and I need to make sure you can walk through the airport.” Declan groaned as he knew what I was saying. I continued, though. “But I really do wish you were here because just talking to you makes my night exponentially better.”
“I'm glad I can do something to help you.”
“Back to Mexico and Layla, though. I hope when you get there that you find her.”
“While there are no guarantees that it’s her, they sent me pictures from the back and side profiles.
It looks like it could be her. I just hope the locals who’d spoken to the investigator were right about the woman having been there for a while.
It’d mean she wasn’t a tourist. I’m going to go confirm once and for all whether it’s the bitch or not. ”
“And if it is and you bring her back, we can then focus on our other problem. I think we should tell Enslee everything once that happens.”
“Whoa, I thought we’d agreed that unless she recovered her memories, we wouldn't tell her anything.”
“None of my best-laid plans seem to be working out. To be honest, I’ve basically been winging shit, which is probably why my life is a complete fucking mess right now.
I’ve only ever once acted on damn impulse.
This isn't like me. I think things through. I’d really thought everything was agreed upon and in order with Layla.
She knew there was no chance of her and me ever being together for real, yet I was willing to give her my name, my money, and social status, but I guess she didn't need my money when she had her own.”
“What do you mean? I thought money was the only reason she’d agreed to the arrangement.”
“She had her own money, Declan.”
“How? I don’t under—”
“I don't yet know the source of that income, but my investigators are looking into it. I mean, we always knew she had to have had another cash source to be able to disappear so easily and stay hidden all this time.”
“Yeah, we did. Unfortunately, we might have another problem, Brogan.”
“Fucking hell! Hold on for a bit so I can fix a drink. I need one.” I walked over to the bar, grabbed a tumbler, and filled the glass with whiskey, then said as I brought it to my lips. “Go ahead and lay it on me.”
“I’d love to lay something on you, baby. The only problem with that is that you’re there and I’m here. I digress, though. It’s about Enslee.”
“What is it?” I asked as I took a large swallow of my drink, then barely grimaced as it burned a trail of fire down my throat.
“When she was lying in my arms, she told me that she loved me.”
The glass fell from my hand, then shattered on the floor. “Goddammit,” I cursed as I tried to step away from the mess but ended up cutting the bottom of my bare foot anyway.
“I don't really think she knew what she was say—”
“That’s not it,” I said in a pained voice.
“What’s going on?” Declan asked me when I let out a grunt as I raised my foot and yanked the shard out from the bottom of it. “I fucking dropped my glass. Give me a minute to clean this up.”
“Take your time,” he said to me.
I saw the drops of blood on the floor, along with the glass and what was left of the alcohol. Shaking my head, I went to grab a towel along with the broom and dustpan. It took me a few minutes to get everything cleaned up, and I made another drink before carrying it over to the couch with me.
“You must’ve laid your dick on her good to have her confessing to love,” I finally said.
I could already imagine him smirking at my words, and it wasn’t as if they were untrue. My man knew how to lay the pipe, and it made me miss him even more right now. I almost said as much, but he cleared his throat.
“As I just said, I doubt she even knows what she’s talking about.
She thinks we've had this… I mean we've told her that we've had a relationship together. It’s probably something she assumes she’s said in the past and something she thinks she should feel.
Enslee doesn't really know you or me, but she doesn't know that she doesn't know us. We’ve filled her head with all these stories about being together when, until the night she fell, we’d never even laid eyes on her before.”
“Yeah, you're probably right.”
“You’re the one I love, baby.”
“I mean, it’s possible to love more than one person,” I said as I took another swallow of my drink.