42. Declan
TEPOZTLáN, MEXICO
Our hotel was private and in a natural paradise.
Situated amongst lush gardens containing dozens of different trees, plants, and flowers, it also had impeccable views of the Tepozteco mountain range.
It boasted of relaxation, but this trip was the farthest thing from a vacation.
Fortunately, it was remote, which meant I had fewer chances of being spotted here and would allow me to focus on what we were here to do.
Finding Layla was all that mattered, and I was thankful Enslee was here.
I truly thought we’d never see her again after she’d recovered her memories, but she’d been beside Brogan and me through this ordeal.
She was also putting her own life on hold to help us, and her contributions to this search had been invaluable.
As it were, we’d still be in Cancun not having any idea that she’d moved inland.
There were numerous arches that opened up to a large garden and led to the guest suites. Enslee had booked our rooms directly next to one another, which made it easier to reach one another when the time came to spring into action. Right now, it was more of a holding pattern, so I sat alone in mine.
My own team of investigators was already combing the city, and I was waiting to hear back from one of them…
from any of them, really. So far, we’d been here in Mexico for three full days and nights without a single sighting of the blonde.
I felt like we were so close to finding Layla, but my optimism was starting to dwindle.
Enslee, however, was sure it’d be just a matter of time as she continued tracking the woman.
So far, there’d been no movement on the bank account since the last transaction before we’d ever left New York City.
I’d been looking at the news and only saw the same kind of clickbait articles talking about the Sinclair Pharmaceutical CEO indicted and arrested for the murder of his fiancée.
They all talked about it being a crime of passion, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.
There was no passion between Brogan and Layla.
He didn't hate her, but he also didn’t like her, either.
She’d been insignificant in his world. He certainly didn't love her. Layla was sort of just there, like a thorn in his side. The one that Brogan had loved was me, and I still loved him so goddamn much that this time without him was worse than taking a knife to the chest. It’d felt more like a fucking gunshot since the day he’d told me that he hated me and never wanted to see me again.
Hearing and knowing he believed those words made my entire chest feel as if it’d been blown open.
There was an entry wound, but no exit wound, as the bullet was still lodged deep into my heart.
And as that organ continued to splinter apart, it festered and was rotting from the inside out.
God, how I missed him, and not even just sexually.
I missed his laughter, hearing about his day, telling him about mine, talking about sports, movies, television, music…
just talking about life. He’d been my best friend for as far back as I could remember, and now it was almost like he was dead. More accurately, I was dead to him.
I’d been the reason Layla had the money to escape to Mexico while leaving him holding the bag.
The guilt was a bitch, and it only intensified the need to find her.
If I could bring her back to New York City, I could free my man.
The truth of the matter was, I didn't think I could go on without him much longer. He may never forgive or forget, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to give up on us. Not now, or once he was released.
I needed Brogan in my life, just as he needed me in his.
Before, he’d distanced himself from me after his father forced him to undergo conversion therapy.
While he had reasons to distance himself from me now, I wasn't going to accept it. I’d tolerated it back then, but I wouldn't now.
But god, not hearing anything was starting to drive me crazy.
And as if on cue, my phone suddenly rang. Seeing that it was Jenni, I picked it up. “What's up? Did you find out anything? Has something happened?”
“No, I’m calling to let you know they've halted filming completely until you come back. They’d been trying to work around your scenes, but it just wasn't working. Do you know how long you're going to be out of town?”
I scrubbed a hand down my face. “I don't know. I mean, it could be another couple of days. It could be a week. Maybe two weeks. I don't know.”
I hated putting everyone on set in a bind, but this wasn’t some fictional world I was fighting tooth and nail in. It was the real world where the one I loved was fighting for his life and his freedom. No show would ever come before Brogan.
“Well, you are a main character...”
“I know, and the last thing I want to do is let people down, but I've already let somebody else down, and I can’t do it anymore.”
She sighed softly. “I know you miss and love Brogan, but he wouldn't want you to risk your entire career.”
“It isn't my entire career, and I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if it was. I’d give up anything, including it, for him,” I responded vehemently.
And that’d been one of the reasons I wouldn’t have ever minded coming out of the closet.
Brogan had needed to keep it all secret, which I’d understood and respected.
I’d allowed him to put some of it onto me so he wouldn’t feel guilty.
I wouldn’t have cared at all if it had affected my career.
Although I doubted it would’ve. I mean, there could’ve been some backlash, but I didn't think it would be anything outrageously terrible. I mean, it wasn’t like there weren't plenty of gay actors who played the roles of heterosexuals.
Plus, I was actually bisexual, not that it mattered.
I’d made a string of successful box office blockbusters and had many starring roles on some of the networks’ most popular television shows.
I’d invested my earnings well over the years, but what good was money without someone to share it with?
I’d wanted to travel and see the world with Brogan and instead was here in Mexico with Enslee.
Over the last few days, I’d come to want to explore more of the world with her too.
“But Declan, you know how this business is. What’s hot one day could be gone tomorrow.”
“Then, so be it.”
I heard her slight huff. I was sure my team was putting pressure on her to get me back to New York, but I couldn’t until I found out whether the woman was Layla or not.
“Is there anything I can do for you? Anything that’ll help?”
“No, there isn’t…” I paused at the sound of a knock. The door was partially open because I'd been enjoying the mountain breeze. I waved Enslee in. “No, Jenni, I don't think there's anything you can do for me right now outside of trying to appease the studio.”
“Hi, Jenni,” Enslee said as she came closer.
“Is that you, Enslee? Oh my god, I'm so glad you and Declan are hanging out together again. I didn't know you were in Mexico with him.”
“Yeah, we're trying to follow up on some leads. How have you been?”
Instead of listening to them, I handed my cell phone to Enslee, then walked outside onto my balcony to stare out into the mountains.
This place was so beautiful and secluded, and I truly felt like I was one with nature.
I'd always loved being outside, even as a young kid.
It didn't matter whether I was skateboarding, bicycling, riding a scooter, rollerblading, or just playing a multitude of sports from soccer to rugby to football; I loved being outside.
And I hadn’t been the only one to love being out in nature.
I always had somebody willing to do those things with me.
And while I sat here breathing in the cool, crisp scent of the mountains and listening to the gushing of the nearby spring, I couldn't help but think about what Brogan was smelling or listening to at the moment.
Enslee’s report on the unsanitary conditions throughout the prison made me angry.
And it caused the knife in my chest to twist a little harder and deeper as I imagined Brogan listening to the sounds of metal clanking, screaming, and whatever else.
He’d also be relegated to a cell in that decaying old facility that had the stench of blood, sewage, vomit, and anything else disgusting that one could think of.
I'd even watched her podcast last night after she'd gone back to her room for the evening. There’d been several podcasts where she’d talked about the conditions inside that prison, which made my despair much worse.
I could hear a female laughing behind me, so I knew Enslee and Jenni were still talking to one another. The girls had really hit it off, and I wasn't surprised about that at all. Wanting to give them more privacy, I moved to the other side of the balcony, then stared down at the rocky ledge below.
I could see why Layla would want to escape to a place like this because it sure as hell beat the hustle and bustle of New York City.
After being in the city, this was a completely different world, even though we were only an hour and a half away from Mexico City, which, again, was another urban metropolis.
It wasn’t quite as large as New York City, but it was still pretty big as well.
And I supposed there were lots of city dwellers that either vacationed here or possibly owned vacation homes in the area, any number of which she could be renting at this moment.
It was nothing more than we, and our affluent families, did with our vacation estates in the Hamptons.
I just had to keep reminding myself to breathe, and each time, I let my breaths out more slowly and steadily as I tried calming my frayed nerves. Not long after, I heard Enslee clear her throat. When I turned around, she walked over to me and handed me my cell phone.
“Jenni said she had to go, but that she’d keep in touch with the studio and do what she could. She also said to let her know if you need anything at all,” she told me quietly.
“Thank you,” I responded, before turning back fully to face her. “Have you seen any new transactions?”
She shook her head. “No, but she hasn’t been at the bank every day that she’s been missing.
I mean, it was every week or two, so it could be several more days before she makes another appearance.
There’s been no rhyme or reason to when she went to the bank, only that she uses the same branch each time, and one that’s less than a mile away. ”
It just feels so wrong to be in this place when Brogan is in jail.”
“I know,” she said before she gently placed her hand on my arm. “For what it's worth, I think…” And then she paused.
“What do you think?” I asked her.
“Never mind. I'm going to go plug in my laptop. Are you going to join me inside?”
“Yes, that way we can see if we can find anything else. I'll be inside in a few.”
Enslee went into the room, and I turned back to the mountains, taking in the serenity of it all for several minutes before I finally rejoined Enslee.
By the time I came in, she was sitting on top of the counter with her laptop in her lap, and I realized it was because there was only one bar stool.
I almost thought to give it to her, but she patted the counter in front of it as she motioned for me to sit.
“Did you find anything??
“Not yet, but I’m trying to access the security cameras around the bank so we can see the people as they come and go. Unfortunately, security is really tight, so my hacker is experiencing a slight bit of trouble. It’s nothing he won't be able to get into, though.”
“You think?” I asked her.
She smiled. “He can hack into the FBI and Interpol databases if he wanted to.”
“Do you think she's working alone?”
“I doubt it, but once we get access to the cameras, we’ll figure that out.” As I sat there, a once familiar noise pierced the air, and I realized that my stomach was growling. “What have you eaten today?”
She turned toward me and I shrugged. “I don't think I've eaten anything today.”
“You know there's a restaurant on site. We could have dinner, and maybe by then the investigators or my hacker will have gotten the access we need.”
“I don't know. It’s been so hard to eat and sleep because I can't stop thinking about Brogan. But you're right. I do need to eat something, so I can keep my strength up. Let’s go to dinner.”
“Okay, great. I'm going to leave my laptop here.”
“That's fine,” I replied.
“Do you mind helping me down? It didn’t seem so high when I jumped up here.”
I stood up, then as I helped her off the counter, her lithe body fell against me, and I felt an electric current shoot through me. It was the first spark of anything I’d felt since the day of Brogan’s arrest.
“Thanks,” she said, and as one of her hands slipped down my arm, I continued to feel the current.
By the time our hands reached, I grabbed hers then spun her around.
I heard her sharp intake of breath as I positioned her between the island and me.
Her wide eyes met mine, and I let out a groan before my mouth came down on hers.