57. Enslee #2
“You won’t lose me. You can always pick up the phone and call me any time.”
“I should tell you to just get the hell out, but I won't. You've given me back my life, so I can never be mad at you.” Relief filled me in that moment, especially when he continued.
“I could seduce you into my bed and handcuff you to the headboard so you never leave, but I won’t.
You deserve better than the man I've become.”
“The man you've become is broken, Brogan, but he can be fixed. He's also empty, but he can be made whole again.”
“Doubtful,” he replied. “I do care about you a lot. Hell, I might even love you, so if you feel like you need to take some time away, I'm willing to give it to you.” I could see how hard this was for him, especially with his abandonment issues. “If nothing else, at least you said goodbye.”
That last part caused an ache deep in my chest. I walked over to him, then wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled his head down to mine. “No matter where I am, I'm always here for you. I’ll never abandon you completely. Ever!”
He groaned before fusing his mouth to mine, and this time, I allowed him to thrust his tongue inside because this would be the last time.
As he kissed me, his hands ran down my backside, cupping my ass, before pulling me hard against him.
I felt his cock harden against my stomach, and it was only when he went to hike up one leg that I realized that's how things had started last time. I pulled away and stepped back.
“I can't do this. Brogan. I can't fall back into bed with you.”
“I know, and I'm sorry.”
“Don't be sorry. Just promise me that you’ll one day listen to what Declan has to say. And I mean truly hear him.”
“Have you told him that you're leaving?”
I shook my head. “No, but I'm on my way to do that once I leave here.”
“Y-you’re not going to change your mind and stay with him, are you?”
I wasn't used to this level of insecurity from Brogan of all people, and again, it made my heart ache worse. “I won’t choose between you two. I won’t take one over the other.”
“Okay,” he said.
“I really need to go,” I told him.
Reluctantly, he stepped back to allow me to do so. “Yes, you do. Go, because if you stay here much longer, I won’t be able to hold back from taking you to my bed. We are friends still, right?”
“Yes, always, Brogan.”
I walked to the door, and when I reached it, he called my name. “Enslee.”
“Yes?” I asked as I turned halfway around.
“I'll never forget what you've done for me. I'm here for you always. If you ever need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask.”
“You know what I need,” I reminded him.
“Anything but that,” he responded, and I threw my hands up in surrender.
“You can't blame a girl for trying. I know it's hard now and the road seems bleak, but there is light at the end of that dark tunnel.
You just have to keep digging to find it.
Let some time pass, but don't let too much time go by because something I've realized in this world is that what's here today can be gone tomorrow.
Don't let yesterday's hurt steal tomorrow’s joy. Live in the moment because the present is all we really have.” He said nothing as he stared at me, then the tears started to roll down my cheeks. “Goodbye, Brogan.”
“Goodbye, Enslee.”
I slipped through the door and held it in all the way to the elevator before I finally let my tears out. After a short cry on my way downstairs, I recovered enough to leave the building and get to my van. Once inside, I sent a message to Declan to see where he wanted to meet.
He’d asked me to meet him in fifteen minutes at what he said was his Manhattan penthouse.
I’d never been there before, so I wasn't even sure how to get up to his unit, but he met me downstairs.
As we took the elevator up to his penthouse, I allowed him to wrap his arms around me because I knew this would be the last time I'd feel those as well. Once inside, he released me.
“You've been to see him,” he said as soon as he closed the door.
“H-how did you know?” I stammered.
“I can smell the scent of his cologne on your hoodie.”
“I did go to see him.”
“And now you're here,” he said.
“Yes, because I’ve made a decision that I wanted to tell you in person. I owed Brogan the same respect.”
A look of resignation flashed across his features, and I didn’t want to see his pain, so I dropped my gaze lower.
As I slowly appraised the man in front of me, he was decked out in completely different attire than our previous lover.
Brogan had been slightly dressed up while Declan had dressed down in a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a T-shirt that fit snug across his muscular frame.
He looked like he was ready for a night in, while Brogan had been ready to paint the town red.
“And?” he asked, which made me raise my head.
“I've said goodbye to Brogan.”
Declan's brow shot up at that. “How did he take it?”
I didn't want to betray any intimacy Brogan and I had, so it was time for me to stop running my mouth where they were concerned. “That's between Brogan and me.”
“Touche,” he said, then pulled me into his arms.
Before I realized what he was doing, his mouth was already on mine.
I wanted to pull away, and had even pressed my palms to his chest, but I needed these last few moments with him.
I needed something to bottle up inside, so I returned the kiss ever so briefly before finally remembering that he too had the ability to seduce me into his bed.
I hadn’t lied when I’d told Brogan I wouldn’t choose between them, so I pushed Declan away.