Chapter 20 #2
“Derren,” I mumble. “Derren.”
“Ugh, yeah. Fuck yeah, baby.” He lets out a long groan, and his body flops against me.
His breathing is ragged against my cheek. “Fuck, you’re amazing.” He kisses the side of my face, pulling out of me and rolling off. I start to turn over, but he’s already standing.
“The bathroom is across the hall.” I smile at him, thinking he’ll take the condom off and come back. But he pulls it off, ties it up, tosses it on top of my dresser, and starts getting dressed.
“Wait, you’re not staying?” He buttons his jeans and walks over to me.
“I can’t, baby. I need to go. I have work tomorrow.
Come see me, though, okay?” I nod. He leans in and kisses me.
“I could really fall for a guy like you, ya know.” He kisses me again.
The heat of our embrace confuses me and turns me on, and I gasp when he pulls back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He winks at me and strides out of the room.
The sound of his retreating footsteps thunders down the stairs.
As he leaves, the click of the front door closing behind him echoes around the house, but the silence after he’s gone is deafening. I shake my head, wondering where the hell I’m going wrong. I sigh and flop back.
It was so easy with Killian; he played my body like he’d been doing it forever.
I felt alive. My skin tingles at the thought of him, my dick solid and needy, but I refuse to touch myself, thinking of him.
He left; he didn’t choose me. And I chose Derren.
I need to make it work. I just need to try harder.
I pick up my phone and call Derren.
“Baby, what’s up?” he answers just before I hang up.
“I need you, Derren. Come back.”
I hear the dirty chuckle. “You need me, huh?”
“Please, Derren.”
“He’s begging for me to go back,” I hear him say. “I like it when you beg, baby. I’ve just met up with the boys, though. I’ll swing by when I’ve finished, okay.”
“Derren… Derren.” He’s hung up, and I sigh. How do I get him to be what I want? How do I get him to treat me better? I wait up for him to come back. I wait, and I wait.
There’s a noise that startles me. And I sit up in bed as Derren stumbles through my bedroom door, already getting undressed.
I climb out of bed to meet him. I wrap my arms around him, my body around his, and I throw myself at him.
I’m naked, just how he left me. Needy and wanton.
I grind against him, reaching between us and sliding my hands around his dick.
“Please, Derren. I need you, I need a release.”
“You wanna come, baby?”
“Yes. God, yes.” He grins into my kiss. Pushing me back towards the bed. I keep stroking his dick, and his hands roam my body, my back, my shoulders, my ass, digging his fingers in. When the back of my legs hit the bed, he pushes me back.
“Turn over.”
“I wanna look at you,” I whisper.
“Bend over, it’s hotter, deeper. Tighter,” he grunts as he fists his own dick. I stand and walk around to the bedside table, snatching a condom from the top drawer.
“Ahh, come on, baby, we don’t need those.”
“Please, Derren.”
He huffs, “Fine, just give it here, okay.” He slides it on and tosses the wrapper onto the floor.
I step up to him, and he wraps his arms around me and kisses me.
When he grips the back of my neck, tight, I flinch, wincing as his hold tightens.
He turns my body away from his and pushes me onto the bed.
Keeping hold of the back of my neck, pinning me, bent over.
“I got you, baby. I know what you need,” he slurs.
He pushes against my hole, fumbling between my cheeks.
Focus. Gritting my teeth, needing this. Needing to come.
I grunt as he pushes against me, trying to relax, not wanting to think about how Killian got me ready, how he took care of me first. I know I can have that with Derren; we just need to figure each other out.
I try to push Killian from my mind as I shove myself onto Derren.
“Oh, you’re so fucking needy.”
He pulls out before sliding inside me, and I thrust myself back onto him.
“Derren, I need to come. Please.”
“Touch yourself, baby. Show me how you make yourself come.” I thrust harder.
“Derren, please?” I whimper. I just want him to fucking touch me. I push into his hand, and he allows me to stand. His hips stutter, faltering as he bucks against me. “Derren, touch me. Please make me come,” I gasp.
He pumps his hips, wrapping his arms around me, holding me to him as his hips buck shallow pulses against me. He takes hold of my hand and slides it towards my dick.
“Touch yourself, baby, I wanna see.”
His grip tightens on my wrist, holding my hand over my own dick. I slide my hand around me and start to pleasure myself.
“Fuck, yeah,” he grunts, his hips slapping against me erratically as he comes. He pulls straight out of me and flops onto the bed. “Fuck, that was so good.”
My hand stills on my dick. “I need to come, Derren.”
“Come, then.” He rests on his elbow, bites his lip and watches me. Pushing the disappointment from my mind and ignoring the lip bite, it’s becoming a gesture I can’t bear. It feels fake. I step closer, holding my dick, but he lifts his hand to stop me. “I don’t do that.”
“What?”
“I don’t suck cock.”
My eyes widen. My hand falls away from my dick as I feel it softening in my palm. I stare at him. The hurt swims inside me. Take—that’s all he’s done. Just fucking take.
“I fucked Killian,” I blurt out. I’m hurt that he won’t touch me.
Killian touched me everywhere. He made me come. He did stuff that made me feel so fucking good, but Derren hasn’t even touched me when I think back; he’s come and left me hanging every single time.
In a flash, my head spins to the side, and my eyes widen. I gasp. The crack echoes around the room, the sting spreads into my cheek.
“Get out.” The scream rips from my lips as I touch my face where he’s just hit me. He’s standing in front of me, his breathing ragged and intense. He pushes me back.
“You fucked him? While we were together?”
I nod. I’m angry, wanting him to want me. I want him to hurt like I’m hurting right now.
“Yes, I did.”
He lunges at me, surging forward and punches me again. I scream as he tackles me to the floor.
He pulls his arm back, and I snatch my hands to my face, but his weight disappears. I curl in on myself, and I hear shouting and screaming. When I open my eyes, I see Steven. He’s got Derren around the throat, pinned to the floor.
“Scott, Scott, you okay?” Steven gasps out, still thrashing around with Derren in his grasp. I shakily stand and grab Derren’s clothes, throwing them on the floor beside him.
“Just leave, Derren.”
Steven climbs off him and steps towards me. He sticks his arm out and pushes me behind him, caging me between him and the dresser, while Derren snatches his clothes and starts to tug them on.
“You’re a fucking slut, and you’ll come back, begging for my dick. And you best be grovelling on your knees when you do. I’ll be seeing you real soon, Baby.” He spits baby at me, and I wince, staying firmly behind Steven.
He storms out of the room, tugging his top over his head. I snatch a T-shirt from the dresser and hold it against my naked body, wrapping my arms around myself in a tight hug. My lip shakes, and Steven turns to face me as the front door slams shut.
“You okay?” I nod, and he stares at me.
“I’m okay. Thank you.” He hovers, staring into my eyes.
The bruising I can feel will be apparent soon, but I give him a small smile.
He looks uncomfortable, like he doesn’t quite know what to do.
I just want to cry. The worst thing is, Killian would know what to say.
We wait awkwardly for a few mins, ragged breaths exiting us both, but we just stand staring at each other before he gives me a hesitant smile and walks away.
I appreciate him stepping in, but we don’t have that close a relationship to talk about it.
And that breaks my heart. That’s when I start to cry.
Which makes my face hurt and sting. I would usually talk to Killian, but I’ve fucked that up by sleeping with him.
I don’t have anyone now, not even Derren.
My arms slide into my dressing gown, cinching it at the waist, and I head into the bathroom.
I stare at myself in the mirror. My eye is starting to close; it’s already swollen and bruised.
My lip is bleeding and split. I stutter a sob, turn the shower on, and step inside.
I rest my head against the wall and sob uncontrollably until I can’t cry anymore, then I slide down to the bottom of the shower.
I curl my knees up to my chest, resting my unbruised cheek against my knee.
How do I move on from this? Where do I go from here? The man I thought was my person used me for a quick fuck, albeit an epic fuck, and then left me in bed.
And choosing Derren was a mistake. Now Killian will never speak to me again.