Chapter 44
I eat my food, staring at Killian, blown away by the conversation.
Initially, I thought he was bringing me here to dump me, maybe let me down gently, only for him to declare he wants to be mine.
To be with me and only me. I know I thought we were exclusive, but talking about it made everything so much more real.
My emotions were all over the place with Derren. The way I ran after him, second-guessed myself, lost my confidence, fawned after him like he hung the moon, all because I didn’t feel worthy, makes me feel sick to my stomach. That wasn’t me. Not the real me, anyway.
But Killian: he makes me feel true to myself.
He makes me feel confident and desired. He makes me feel sexy.
The way he looks at me, the possessive way he holds my hand wherever we go, like he has to be touching me at all times.
Even now, his foot is pressed against mine under the table.
His gaze is on me, and I have his full attention.
He’s such a larger-than-life presence. He’s boxer-melting hot; he just has this way about him.
Everyone stares at us wherever we go. They have always gazed at him, but now it’s different.
He doesn’t notice now he’s mine. I watch him in fascination, wondering if I can have it all: my best friend, my lover, my everything.
We make small talk for a while. It’s comfortable, as it always is with him. “Killian, can I ask you a favour?”
“So, you become my boyfriend, and now you want stuff from me.”
I roll my eyes at him because I’m always asking him for favours. This is nothing new, but I owe Becky an apology. I’m hoping he will help me out.
“So, with everything that went on, I kinda had a little falling out with Becky.” I stare at my hands, twisting in my napkin.
“You never said, what happened?” Concern fills his features, but I know I was the one in the wrong.
“I told her everything that happened with him… and you.”
“Oh.” He grits his teeth. “The cheating?” he questions, “Was she angry?”
I bark out a laugh. “You’d think so, right? But no, she was team Killian all along.”
“I always liked Becky.” He smiles, leaning back in his chair, and I shake my head at him.
“Anyway, do you think you could get us tickets to your next fight? I’d like to go to watch one properly, and I would prefer not to have to sit alone. And she’d get to see you half-naked, so she would love me forever. She’d definitely forgive me.”
“Nerd, are you trying to pimp out your boyfriend’s sexy-as-fuck, hot body, to make amends for being a shitty friend and not listening to her wisdom when she thought you should have gone for me all along?” He rests his hand on his face, contemplating it, and I throw my napkin at him.
“You’re such a dick.”
He winks at me. “Suck my dick and I’ll get you as many tickets as you want.”
I roll my eyes again, but can’t help the grin that spreads across my face because that sounds like a win-win to me.
When we finish eating, Killian pays and stands from the table, reaching his hand out to mine. I take it with a smile, and he tugs me to my feet, kissing me briefly as I stand. Outside, he walks me to the passenger side and cages me in against the door.
He stares at me for the longest time, one hand on my hip, the other skates up my body.
He cups my cheek, and my eyes flutter closed as his thumb brushes over my lips.
My tongue darts out to chase it, and his heat intensifies.
He presses closer, crushing his body into mine, his leg slips between my own, and my eyes open to meet his searing glare.
“I think we need to talk about what filthy things I need to do to you.” His nostrils flare before his lips land on mine.
I reach up, tugging the front of his jacket.
I grind my pelvis against his leg, and I feel him smirk into the kiss, and damn, that’s sexy.
His grip slides to the back of my neck as he devours my mouth, then he abruptly pulls away.
“As much as I wanna dry hump you till you come in your pants, I think we need to take this indoors.” He kisses me on the temple before opening the car door for me.
I blow out a breath and scrub the heel of my hand into my dick as I slip into the seat.
My hand shakily reaches for the seatbelt, and I clip myself in while he walks around the car, his gaze never leaving mine.
The whole way home, his hand rests on my leg, and I stare down at it.
The contact sears me, like I’m about to burst into flames.
His touch is a comfort and a spark ready to ignite me.
It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of when.
I try to steady my breathing. To calm the heat coursing through me.
But now it’s unleashed, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to rein it in or not want him constantly.
It’s like the need I’ve had all these years has built up and exploded, and now I can’t contain it. I can’t get the lid back on.
“You okay there, Nerd?” His grip tightens on my leg, and I stare up at him.
I’m squirming in my chair, my breathing is elevated, and I think I might pass out if I don’t get his mouth on me soon.
But I just nod and stare out of the window.
He slides his hand a little higher, and my breath stutters.
He gives me a slight throaty chuckle, and I fidget in my seat, urging him to drive faster. I just need to touch him.
When we pull into his courtyard, and the car comes to a halt, I dive out. I almost sprint to the stairs before turning back to see the shit-eating grin spread across his face as he climbs out of the car. I rummage in my pocket for his key and sprint up the stairs.
“Hurry up,” I yell as I fumble to get my key in the lock.
He barks out a laugh and jogs after me, taking the stairs two at a time until his back crashes into mine as I push inside his flat.
He kicks the door behind him, and I turn, walking backwards into the apartment.
The hunger on his face, stalking me like I’m his prey, makes me giddy.
I slide my jacket off and toss it down. I step back, sliding my hands up my chest, and slowly unbutton my shirt.
His nostrils flare, he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, and he matches my pace.
Every one I take back, he takes another forward, his hands balled into fists, like he wants to reach out and pull me against him, like he wants to rip my clothes off and devour me, but he’s barely keeping his restraint.
When all the buttons are undone, I flick the shirt over my shoulders and let it pool on the floor.
He tosses his jacket down. And as my hands reach for my belt, he dives for me, lifting me in his arms. I wrap my legs around him, loving how effortlessly he carries me.
My back crashes against the wall, and his lips slam down on mine.
Heat caresses my overheated skin as one hand skates to my front, sliding it up between us and grazing the callused pad of his thumb over my nipple.
My back arches away from the wall, and he buries his face in my neck. Nipping and licking under my ear before he sucks my lobe into his hot mouth. My hips grind against him, and he smells divine. I buck and groan as he assaults my neck and my nipple, tugging and tweaking, leaving me gasping.
“Fuck, Killian. I need you. I need more.”
He pulls back, ripping me away from the wall, and stalks toward the bedroom. The door flies open when he kicks it, and he carries me inside. I lick and suck at his neck, wanting to mark him as mine. Wanting to own this enigma of a man who claims to be as in love with me as I am with him.
In a split second, I’m weightless as he tosses me onto the bed.
My back bounces, and I laugh in surprise, but his gaze darkens, never leaving me, roaming over my heated skin.
He stands at the foot of the bed, tearing at fabric, fumbling with buttons, and tugging his belt.
My brain catches up, and I do the same. When my jeans get to my knees, I freeze.
I stare up at this adonis of a man. Chiselled like a god, tattooed like a temple, made to be worshipped.
My mouth dries, and my pulse quickens, if that is even possible.
I swallow hard, his thick dick pointing at me.
I lick my lips. I yelp out as my jeans are ripped off, he roughly snatches each leg, ripping off my socks and throwing them across the room before he places one knee on the bed.
My boxers being torn off makes me groan, and then his body crashes into mine.
I spread my legs wider for him. His mouth finds mine as he devours me with a searing kiss.
My arms wrap around him, quickly followed by my legs.
Our bodies are already sweaty and panting.
My nipples are so tight and sensitive. My ass is desperate and needy, and my dick is wedged between our bodies, aching for more.
“Fuck, you drive me insane. I hate that I only have one mouth, one dick and two hands. There just isn’t enough of me to caress everything I need to. I’m going insane when I’m not touching you.”
The confession slips from his lips, ghosting over my skin as I grind and pant against his hot, heavy body. The weight of him driving me wild. I try to grind, to buck and squirm under him, but his hand slips to my hip.
“Easy, Nerd. Or this is gonna be over way quicker than either of us will be happy with.”
“Killian, I just need…” I trail off as he leans in, kissing me again, but steadier this time, the heat dialled back, and I sigh.
I know he’s right, but fuck, I’m so wound up, I just want his body on mine.
He pulls back, and the grin he gives me warms my heart as his lips skate down to my nipple.
I gasp, and my back arches off the bed. My legs drop, spreading wider, sliding against the covers.