Chapter 9
Nine
Riot
I'm fucked.
I've never in my life questioned my choices as much as I have since meeting Vivian. She has me in a chokehold, begging for a sliver of her attention while hoping she keeps her distance.
Normally I couldn’t care less about how people feel about me. I rescue people, then I'm on my way. Being stuck in a truck with the latest omega and her pack doesn't happen, let alone being brought to their home.
I messed up.
The bullet wound in my shoulder and the eyepatch covering half my eyesight are the least of my worries.
First of all, I shouldn't have spoken to Vivian the way I did.
All I've done since meeting her is piss her off and say the wrong things.
I'm trying not to beat myself up over it too much because I'm not a social person, but I feel bad.
Fuck, how many times do I have to make her cry before I realize pushing her away isn't something I can stomach?
I made it sound like I regretted kissing her, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just really fucking wish it hadn't been under those circumstances. Although if we hadn't been held captive together, would I ever have given her a second glance?
Going separate ways on the street would have been probable. In a twisted shift of fate, I had the heartbreaking opportunity to stand there each day and witness her epic strength. Listening to her vulnerable cries changed something in me too.
I said things I didn't mean, but there was truth in it. I disrespected her mates, yet they demanded I come home with them. They'll never know how much that meant to me.
I'm very aware I'm the reason for the tense hours in the truck, but I can't help it. This isn't normal. Her pack should have booted me from the fucking hospital the moment I made her cry or when I told them I kissed her.
Instead they seem hell-bent on pulling me closer. I'm confused. Should I have run while they were sleeping? I don't think I would have been able to. Why? Fucking why?
Jarek breaks the silence. "We should come up with good questions to ask each other."
He turns in the front seat to check on me for the hundredth time.
I couldn't be curled up closer to the door if I tried.
Every time Silas' thigh brushes against mine, the tension increases.
I'm not blind—these men are attractive as fuck.
Then add on the angst of whatever the fuck is happening between Vivian and me, well, let's just say the life I had seems further away every damn moment with this pack.
"We're almost home," Kade tells Jarek, but he still glances in the rearview mirror at me with curiosity. "Tell us something about yourself, Riot."
Sighing, I relent. If I'm going to be living with them for the foreseeable future, I need to learn how to play nice. "My favorite color is red."
A soft snicker from Vivian on Silas' other side surprises me. How many times have I heard her laugh? Once, twice? What a beautiful sound.
Damn it. This is why I'm so twisted up inside. I don't find things beautiful. I kill people because I've seen the worst in the world.
"Mine is gold," Jarek replies. "Silas' is blue, Kade's is silver, and Vivian's is like a blue-green."
Why does it feel like I knew that?
"We should be talking about rules, not our favorite colors," Kade grumbles, flipping the blinker on and driving us deeper into the middle of nowhere.
Ah, yes. The rules.
Silas stifles a sigh and says, "We already talked about them before we left the hospital, Kade. Let's not scare Riot off already with your rules."
"Rules are important, though," I find myself defending the pack alpha. "Vivian shouldn't be alone right now, and we should have at least another person with us if we go into town. Especially not until I can track the leader of this group down and put an end to them."
Glancing around Silas, I check on Vivian. She's staring out the window with her arms wrapped around her midsection. Is she hurting? She's not due for painkillers for another hour. "Do you understand, Firefly? You need to be careful."
At my insistence, she stiffens. Then, to my displeasure, she gives me a thumbs up without looking at me.
"Little Omega," Kade growls with warning. "Don't roll your eyes. This is important. Do you understand?"
Hmm, she rolled her eyes at me, did she? Girl has some sass. I shouldn't be surprised, considering all the danger she put herself in during our stay in hell.
I watch her shoulders rise and fall with a deep inhale. She turns and catches Kade's gaze in the mirror. "Yes, Alpha," she says with strength.
"Riot was the one talking to you, Vivie," Kade reminds her.
She takes another deep inhale before turning to look at me. I swear she steals the breath from my fucking lungs every time she gives me her attention.
"Yes, Riot," she grits out.
The punch to my gut when I realize she called me just by my name is surprising. I need to figure my feelings out fast.
The whiplash I get from being around these people makes me anxious and annoyed. I don't talk to people, I don't share, and I certainly don't wonder what it would be like to be accepted as one of theirs.
I've never been someone's.
"We're here. Vivian, I'll come around and get you," Jarek announces and hops out of the truck as soon as we come to a stop.
Absently, I hear Vivian hiss as her alpha helps her out of the tall truck. I'm quickly distracted by the pure wonder that is their home.
"We built it," Silas murmurs, standing beside me a few minutes later. "We own a company that designs and structures homes to be suitable for pack life."
"What does that mean?"
Silas gives me a thoughtful look, but I'm focused on making sure Kade and Jarek get Vivian up the porch steps safely. When she glances over her shoulder at me, I know for a fact I'm following her inside. She draws me in like a moth to a flame.
"Come, I'll show you." Silas starts walking toward the house, and I have no choice but to follow.
Moving through the motions of walking up their steps and taking my dirty shoes off on the porch, I soak in the comfort their home already provides just from the outside.
"Kitchen's over here, living room..."
Silas is talking, but I've just gotten slammed in the fucking soul by the scent of their pack. The fresh rain mixed with florals and something thicker that reminds me of Kade almost makes me stumble.
Why is it so...so...perfect?
The details of the layout don't matter to me, especially when I catch sight of Vivian being lowered into a small nest beneath a window to the porch. Her soft sniffles and winces of pain force me to swallow my growl. They're hurting her. They need to be more gentle. Why is she crying?
"Riot, breathe," Silas mutters, coming to stand in front of me. The way he blocks my view of my omega has me grinding my teeth.
I can't fucking breathe because every damn whiff screams home. Clearing my throat, I close my good eye and try to get myself under control. Once her whimpering stops, I try again.
She's already dozing in her pile of blankets, and her mates are doting on her. Swallowing, I realize I need some space. Just a little because I don't think I'll ever actually be able to be away from her for long.
"Where am I sleeping?"