24. Foster
FOSTER
“She isn’t here,” Julian reminds me as I enter the living room of his weekend home in Everhope. “Sutton went with Savannah to get out of the house. Probably for breakfast or to visit the farmers’ market. I’ll go grab you a cup of coffee.”
Right away, I notice that Hayes is also here, and he’s sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee that he lifts in the air. “You look like shit, but good morning.”
I tip my head in Julian’s direction. “I know he always planned to be here this weekend. What’s your excuse?”
“Elodie’s mom called. She needed some extra help today since her dad is still recovering from a hernia operation,” Hayes explains.
“He didn’t have a hernia operation, did he?” I refute simply.
“Nope,” he admits. “Elodie did get a call, though.” He takes a sip of his coffee, then lets out an involuntary hum.
Taking my spot on the couch, I’m not spiraling as much as yesterday. I’ve collected my thoughts a little, enough for me to drive out of the city with not a wink of sleep.
“It’s not good,” I say somberly. “She thinks I got her pregnant on purpose.”
He winces and sets his mug down on the coffee table. “That’s a fucked-up one, to be blatantly honest.”
“I’m gravely aware. This isn’t miscommunication. It involves her physically, you know? The idea that I manipulated her. I’m not even sure anymore if I did or didn’t.”
The sound of footsteps tells me Julian is back, and I accept the coffee from him before he sits down.
Julian lets out a low whistle. “She thinks you got her pregnant with pure determination to do so. That’s not exactly a lovers' tiff,” he points out. “Even I had to stew on that accusation. On one hand, I know you wouldn’t do that. On the other hand, family drives us to do crazy shit.”
Groaning, I rub my face with my palms. If my friend of years even had to take extra moments to think about my nature, then the woman who only walked into my life not even a year ago must be going in a circle of confusion.
Hooding my eyes closed and squinching my face, I hate the reminder. “I mean, I think she knows I didn’t do it. But not telling her that having a baby before the end of the year is a win for my family was a misstep.”
Hayes wiggles in his seat and sets his elbows onto his parted knees.
“Savannah thought Julian stole her aunt’s company, Elodie thought I wanted full custody of our daughter, and now you have your wife thinking you got her pregnant on purpose.
We’ve all been through shit, but your situation…
Sutton is physically fragile right now.”
The numbness inside of me beats with my heart; everything feels hollow from fear and remorse. “Which is exactly why I’m here. I need to see she’s okay.” I turn to Julian. “Tell me she’s okay.”
He understands my plea for confirmation.
“I’m not going to lie. She didn’t arrive dry-eyed, and Savannah stayed with her in the guest room for a while.
But this morning, my wife said Sutton got some sleep in the end.
Now they just needed fresh air, and no, they don’t need a text; they knew you would be coming to Everhope today. ”
“Is that why they left the house? To avoid me?”
Julian shakes his head. “Maybe. But when in Everhope, you either go for Sunday brunch on the steamboat, go to the farmers’ market, or grab coffee from Foxy Rox, it’s kind of a tradition, so that’s probably where they are.
Will you be the topic of conversation? Fuck yes.
” He looks into his mug before taking a drink.
“I’m not sure how to fix this. Space and time aren’t exactly on our side. I refuse to welcome a baby into the world if his parents are at odds.”
Hayes pinches the bridge of his nose, exasperated. “One, it doesn’t work that way. Babies have their own timetable. Two, by you refusing, it means you don’t want to acknowledge Sutton’s needs. Maybe she wants time or space.”
It’s a struggle for me to hear, even if I know he’s right.
“Even better,” Julian pipes up. “Take it down a notch and keep it simple. Tell her that time, space, anything, and everything is hers to lead. At the end of the day, it will all land where it should. Patience is a bitch, but it always delivers a win.”
Hayes reaches up to give my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “From one dad to another, I get it. You would burn down the world to ensure they’re okay, both mom and baby. Keep the determination for you both but acknowledge you can wait.”
That sounds like a reasonable and attainable plan.
Giving him a little nod, I’m now anticipating seeing Sutton again.
The bell dings over the door as I enter Foxy Rox, a name that grabs attention and causes you to pause for a millisecond, as though two words could provide a micro smile.
Walking in, the place isn’t too busy but not empty either.
Slowly, I appraise the place in the hunt for someone familiar.
It would be too easy if Sutton were here.
The teenage barista, putting away a chocolate cake in the display, smiles. “What can I get you?”
“Uh, by any chance have you seen a pregnant woman in here with a friend a little earlier?”
She raises a brow. “It’s Everhope. There is always somebody pregnant,” she deadpans.
“Okay, you know what, I’ll figure it out. Just get me a double shot of espresso.”
“Wait, you’re Sutton’s husband.”
My eyes pinch. “Yeah, uh, how did—”
“Sir, it’s a small town. She was my babysitter growing up, too. Everybody knows she married some swanky city guy… and she’s totally pregnant.”
Contritely, I smile at the teen. “Yeah, totally. You have seen her, then?”
She shakes her head. “I only started five minutes ago, plus there’s a market happening and a lot of people are there.”
I scratch my cheek purely to occupy my anxiety. “Right.”
“Did you still want that coffee?”
A caffeine fix will be useless but might as well. With my order taken, I stand and stare anxiously when I look out the wide window on Main Street. A mom is balancing a baby on her hip, and she smiles when a man touches her shoulder. The image of a young family has me occupied.
The barista grabs my attention. “Here’s your coffee.”
“Thanks.” I pivot only to stall because something clicks inside my head, and I have a hunch where I can find Sutton. “Which way is the river? I still don’t have my bearings.”
She looks at me like I’m an idiot. “Geez, Sutton knows how to pick 'em,” she mumbles to herself. “Sir, there is only one way to go. It’s the only main street in town that ends at… you guessed it… a river.”
“Aren’t you enlightening?” My attempt at a thank-you is filled with sarcasm.
Drinking my espresso like a shot at a frat party, I slam down the cardboard cup onto the counter.
I don’t have time to waste.
Except that my entire walk to the riverbank goes slowly.
Purposely slow. My feet move with fear that I might have let something good slip away.
Even with the smell of fresh herbs, I ignore the farmers’ market in the park at the end of the street.
The sound of the river running fills my ears before I see the water, but I do see people up ahead along the riverside walkway.
It’s perhaps one of the last weekends of the year before the leaves will begin to change.
My tracks stop when I spot my wife. Her hands rest on the railing, and she is lost in thought as she gazes out onto the water, the world moving around her.
And hopefully she believes that the world will make her spin, and I’ll be the one to steady her, even if she never falls.
“Is this the part when you’re ready to confront what you’ve done?” she says with empty emotion.