42. Esther
ESTHER
The dining hall that was once a place for celebration and feasting has turned into a circle of ten spirit greers. At the head, Sheila waits for us expectantly, Imogine standing by her side.
Regent’s fingers thread through mine, Blaze by my other side but keeping his distance.
It unnerves me the way he’s so close yet so far.
My magic binds and sparks with Regent’s, as if drawing back my attention to him.
His face is tight, scowl prominent, not even trying to shield his disapproval for what is about to happen.
I only find irony in the fact that three moons ago, when my friend Selena revealed her bag of bones to speak to the Fates, I wondered if she were going mad.
I can only imagine the ridicule she’d give me now if she knew I was willingly going into a ceremony to speak directly with the Fates.
The thought of Selena, once again reminds me of home, and gives me more courage to step forward.
“Today, we conduct two ceremonies,” Sheila announces to her chosen ten.
“The first is to welcome the Fates in to speak with this greer. If they so shall answer the call, then you will hear from them. If not, you will simply sleep.” She looks to all of us before continuing, “The second, we will remove the glamour from your beast marking. It will not hurt you or your beast. You will both be free from the secrets and shadows. Together you shall grow.”
“Wait, what?” Blaze grits beneath his leather mask. “You never mentioned anything about that. What happened to lying low?”
Grimace and I both look at him, my companion sitting on my shoulder.
“I agreed we’d lay low until we figure out how to take back Caldom Kingdom and help Regent acquire his artifacts.
I didn’t say I was still hiding. Besides, I don’t want to stunt Grimace’s growth anymore,” I say gently, rubbing under his chin.
“If he can grow stronger, then he has the right to. We’re not going to be held back anymore. ”
Blaze leans in, and I can sense Regent’s fury by his proximity, but I ignore it. “And what if your magic takes over?”
It saddens me the way Blaze looks at me like this, pitying almost, that he fears I am the person to jeopardize my safety the most. He’s not wrong, nor can hiding in the shadows serve me any longer.
“There’s only one way to learn how to control it, Blaze.
Much like you learned to sneak up and kill people in the dead of night, I, too, must learn how to fine-tune this blade. ”
I unclasp my fingers from Regent’s, stepping toward Sheila, who offers a wry smile. “You are in this alone, child. I hope whatever you see or hear becomes a knowing guide for you. I hope the Fates respond to your call favorably. If not, well, their nightmares differ for everyone.”
I nod, accepting the small bowl she offers, peering into the black liquid that swirls.
I kiss Grimace on top of his head, grabbing him under the belly and handing him to Regent, whose glower deepens.
This way I know if something does happen to me, if I were to… die, then Grimace will be looked after.
That trickle of deep understanding acts as a gravitational pull when Grimace tries to squirm free of Regent’s hold, his arm stretched out as he gnaws at Regent’s fingers to release him so he can return to me.
I look down at the ominous liquid, taking a seat in the center of the circle of spirit greers, a pillow waiting. My heart races as my instincts prickle, telling me not to drink the poison.
Death.
Liberation.
Nothingness.
All of this to demand answers from gods who, months ago, I didn’t believe in, yet have whispered so deeply and intrinsically that I must answer their call.
I’m changing, and the people I want to protect are expanding, and I must do more.
Be more.
I bring the bowl to my lips, the acid-like liquid burning down my throat, seizing my insides as I keel forward, the spirit greers’ chants echoing as the room begins to spin.
“I’m here,” Regent’s voice echoes as he drops to his knees beside me. It’s his and Grimace’s eyes I see last as I fall, my body splashing into a dark, everlasting sea.
It’s cold here, dark and isolating. Nothing lives at the bottom of the sea.
“She comes,” a voice whispers.
“She demands an audience with us.” The other voice giggles.
I’m drifting, allured with the idea of remaining in this peace. Until electrical bites seem to nibble at my skin. For some reason, it reminds me much of when I was in Lake Mahoori without recollection of what bargain was struck.
“And why should we answer the call?” the harsher of the two asks.
Because you need me, I think.
My body is dumped, water washing over me as I choke, and when I look down, I realize it’s blood.
Two childlike feet come into my peripheral vision, and when I look up, a young girl wearing a dull violet silk dress stands over me, her face hidden by a fox mask.
Behind her is another, identical in height and mask, except that something is off about the second one. Instead of the same porcelain skin of the first, hers ripples with inky black veins.
“We told a secret,” the sickly-colored one says, giggling.
“One that we should have not,” the one closest to me says.
I push myself up, observing the depths of darkness. The sea? Dreams? A completely different world?
“Your body doesn’t have long under here.
Tick-tock,” the second one coos, her head shifting erratically.
A force slams into the back of my knees, crippling me back to the floor.
“One should know how to bow before a god in greeting, insolent greer,” she hisses, the snap in tone jarring as I cough again, blood spluttering.
I wonder if what happens here is the same as what happens to my body among the living.
My hands slide out as I bow reverently.
“You may stand, Esther the Bound,” the first one says, ushering her sister to go take a seat by the small pond that is in the center of this place. When the second Fate touches the water, little pulses ripple from what looks to be a barrier from the outside world.
“What havoc are you creating now, sister?” the one closest asks.
The second giggles as she starts to sing a tune.
The Fates have gone mad, Regent once said.
Not the Fates, but one of them, I concur.
“Are we at the bottom of the sea?”
“Yes. The other gods leave us alone here,” the first says through the fox mask, which I find, in many ways, appropriate for the gods that are most cunning.
“We tried to usher you in when you dangled over the cliff edge, but Kahali is very protective of you. Do you remember our bargain struck at the bottom of Lake Mahoori?”
“I do not.”
She nods, seemingly unsurprised. “Perhaps we thought too highly of even an omni greer being an exception to the rules of Lake Mahoori, but that doesn’t matter; you’re not ready to offer what it is we need.”
“She’s weak,” the second Fate says. “Can we eat her?”
“Not yet, sister.”
“What’s wrong with her?” The moment the question slips, my knees buckle against my will again.
“There is nothing wrong with her!” the first sister snaps, her voice echoing into a vengeful spirit that bites at every inch of my skin. She sucks into herself, as if shocked by her sudden outburst, her grasp over me relinquished.
The second giggles, talking to herself. “Nothing wrong at all.”
The first circles me, the purple of her eyes glaring down at me. The Fates, although appearing in children’s bodies, are two thousand years old; despite that, the perpetual intensity of being looked down upon like I’m a bug nags at me.
I never believed in the gods, ignorant or perhaps choosing not to when they called to me.
“We have looked after you well, Esther the Bound. We kept you alive, even when our siblings interfered.”
“Because we told a secret,” the other whispers.
“Yes, we told a secret. We see, hear, and know all things. But even gods are bound to the rules applied to them at birth. What the elements whisper to us, we should not tell others, especially our siblings. We are bound not to tell gods one another’s secrets.
It makes all things unbalanced when one gains an upper hand.
But that rule has been broken, and now my sister has become quite ill. ”
“I’m not sick,” the other says in a sing-song way, flicking at the water, those golden and black ripples spreading from the invisible barrier, outward.
“Balance must be restored, even if our sisters only intervene for their own gain.”
“Neina doesn’t care. Where is she?” the other asks. “Only Felia comes to play with us.”
My head circles in confusion. Their way of speaking in riddles is frustrating. “What does that have to do with me?”
The first twin stops, her bare feet coming to stand in my blood.
“You will serve us, Esther the Bound. You will listen to our every whim and be sensitive to our nudge, letting us lead you to where you need to be. You and Kahali were once separated but now bound. Everything is in motion, as it always should have been.”
My eyebrows crinkle. “What does Regent have to do with this?”
“You and he have everything to do with this, since it was your secret that was spilled. The gods want you dead. And when you are, they will remain in power. Felia calls to you through your magic, but if you let her in—you will all die.”
The second giggles. “Gone, everyone. Even us.”
The first sister’s body tenses, and suddenly, Regent’s voice echoes, reminding me of his word of warning.
“The gods are playing their games again.”
How long have they been driving him mad? He said it was because of them that he was tricked. That he was meant to love and be free. That he was important, only to let him fall.
“You betrayed him. And me. That night… with my parents and my clan? Were you at play?”
The first twin’s head tilts to the side. “Only because of the secret we shared. Gods cannot tell other gods’ secrets.” She brings her finger to her lips.