Chapter 10
Kade
Idon’t go because Calder ordered me to. Well, I don’t only go because he ordered me to.
There are things I need to know, and Emma is the only one who can fill in the blanks left behind by Roman’s cruel and careless reveal.
The image of blood leaking from his mouth appears in my mind, and I shake my head as I hit the button to roll down the window, hoping some fresh air will clear my thoughts.
It doesn’t. They just head in a darker direction.
Allie.
We haven’t spoken since the night I threatened her. Even though she left me a message, I didn’t respond. Mostly because I don’t want to fucking rehash everything. It’ll only be a matter of time before the truth of how everything went down comes out.
My father isn’t the first person I’ve had to take out, and he won’t be the last. I just know Allie will look at me differently if she—when—she learns the truth.
I’m not ready to face that yet. Not her.
She’s the only person in my life who has ever believed I could be someone other than Roman Bishop’s personal fuckup.
Something else hits me as I drive, squinting against the bright sunshine. What if Emma tells her? What if she already has? Too many questions and too many doubts swirl around like a whirlpool in my brain that threatens to pull me under until I drown.
I never responded to Emma’s text, so she doesn’t know I’m coming. Hopefully, the element of surprise will keep her lies and manipulations to a minimum.
I blink and swallow hard. Is she known for those things? Or is that simply what Roman told me, so I believed it?
Only one way to find out.
When I pull up to the gate, the guards don’t bother hiding their feelings, but neither do I. “I’m here to see Emma Porter.”
“Good for you.” The pot-bellied guard gives me a hard stare, then scoffs. “Thing is, does she want to see you?”
“Why don’t you call her and find out?” I ask.
This motherfucker is lucky I don’t have it in me today to take his bait after facing off with my brothers. They’re both looking for an excuse to exercise their tiny sphere of power here in guardhouse number one.
The other guy grabs the landline phone and calls while eyeing me through the window.
“Yeah. Are you sure? All right, boss.” He says all right, but it sounds a lot like it’s your funeral.
Then he slams his palm against the button that opens the gate.
I watch them as I roll through, and the sneers never leave their faces.
Big tough guys don’t even know what real monsters look like. Not until I have a reason to show ’em.
Directing my attention ahead, I take a deep breath and face forward.
I can’t remember the last time I visited the ranch this way instead of sneaking in.
Have I ever? It almost feels strange to be arriving in broad daylight.
It doesn’t hit me until I see Allie’s car parked in front of the house.
The sudden spike in my heart rate makes me realize how much I was hoping she would be here.
It’s stupid because I hate her, yet I’m addicted to her at the same time.
There’s no limit to how fucked up I am.
An older woman opens the door a split second after I jam my thumb against the bell. It’s almost like she was waiting there for me. It takes no time at all to parse the sour look on her face, though, as she stares me down. “I’m here to see Emma Porter.”
“Yeah, I know.” It’s obvious she doesn’t like the idea, not that it’s any of her fucking business.
“She’s in her office. This way.” She jerks her chin, motioning for me to follow her, and I do.
I know where almost everything is in this house, but I let her lead me anyway.
The memory of sneaking around makes me smirk.
These fucking people. They think they’re safe behind these walls.
The older woman waves me inside, and I glance around.
Instead of sitting at her desk like I would’ve expected, Emma is pouring herself a drink from the cabinet under a set of windows that makes me squint against the light flooding in.
Her hair is back in its usual bun, without a strand out of place.
I see through her in a second flat. The ice in her glass rattles a little when she brings it to her lips for a long gulp.
After she swallows, she skims her gaze over me, as if she’s afraid to look at me head-on. “Would you like something?”
I should decline, but I don’t. Maybe I could use one too. “I didn’t come here for a drink, but if you’re offerin’...”
Without speaking, she pours a second glass and carefully sets the bottle back in place.
Slowly, she lifts the glass and rolls her shoulders back as if she’s trying to gather the strength to look at me when she turns to face me again.
As soon as our gazes collide, I spot the red rim around her eyes and the puffiness on her cheeks.
“I’m glad you came,” she says.
Instead of handing me the drink, she sets it on the corner of the desk, then sinks into a chair built for a man twice her size. It swallows her. She looks like a little kid playing in her daddy’s office rather than the woman running it.
I won’t underestimate her, though. Plenty of dumb bastards have, and they’ve regretted it.
“What do you want to see me for?” I ask, dropping into a chair opposite hers and swiping my drink from the desk. “What’s so important you won’t stop blowing up my phone?”
Her eyes narrow, glinting as she fully looks at me now. “You really don’t know?”
“What is there to know?” I want to hear her say it.
I won’t be the first to speak the word, and I definitely won’t make this easy for her.
I notice the slight quiver in her chin. Is she going to cry? My insides tighten as anger blooms in my chest.
“First, I want to say that I’m sorry to hear about your father. I hope Elena received the flowers I sent.”
“You, and the entire state of Montana.” I swirl the whiskey in the glass, watching her every move over the rim. “Though if we’re being candid, and I do think we should be honest with each other, you aren’t really sorry he’s gone, right? So why pretend?”
Her mouth drops open, then snaps shut. “Your father was a terrible man and my enemy in more than one way, but that doesn’t mean I’m celebrating his death.”
I shrug. “Why not? Everyone else is. No one would judge you for it.”
“I didn’t ask you to come here so I could discuss your father’s death.
” Her voice is a soft whisper, almost breathless, so quiet I barely hear it.
When she grips her glass with both hands, the ice rattles again.
I’ve never seen this side of her in the few times we’ve interacted.
She always has it together when she’s out and about in town.
Standing tall, she looks and plays the part of CEO. Seeing her so vulnerable reminds me that there is always another side to people, the side they hide from the rest of the world.
“Then why did you ask me to come?” I can’t help but bait her.
I could make it easy and tell her I know the truth. That I understand he must have made life hell for her the way he did everybody else, but I don’t. I’m too bitter to give her an out. After all, if it were my choice, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now.
Fuck Calder for getting into my business.
“I want to preface what I’m about to say…
” Tears sparkle in her eyes when she looks up from her drink.
“I would never try to get in the way of whatever relationship you might have with Elena. She is the woman who raised you, who cared for and loved you for years, but you deserve to know the truth. I’m your mother, not Elena. ”
For some reason, I thought hearing her confess the truth would take the weight off my shoulders and lessen the anger simmering just beneath the surface, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes the weight heavier and the pain deeper.
A frisson of adrenaline I’m helpless to stop follows.
“At least that means he was telling the truth.”
She jerks like I slapped her. “He told you? He always said—”
“Right before—Yes, he told me.”
“Did he tell you... everything?”
“Everything?” I lift a brow in question.
“Yes, what happened.”
“I think we both know how it happened, Emma.”
“I don’t mean that.” She leans forward on her elbows, her breathing faster now. “If you tell me what he told you and how much he told you, I can keep from repeating myself.”
“He told me you two had an affair, and I was the happy accident that came of it.”
She scoffs quietly, then takes a hearty gulp of her drink, wiping her mouth on the back of her sleeve before she speaks again. “Happy? Your father was never happy. Now tell me what he really said.”
“Does it matter? He’s dead, and I’m not here to rehash old bullshit. I’m here because I want to hear your side.” I lean in closer, resting my elbows on my knees, staring hard enough to make her squirm.
“You look so much like him when you look at me like that.” She shudders and shakes her head.
“Your father was a man who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. It didn’t matter what that want was.
Land, power, people. It was all the same to him.
Once he set his sights on something, it inevitably became his. I’m sure you know that by now.”
I merely nod and let her continue speaking.
“In the beginning, everything was good. He showered me with praise. He had a way of making a woman feel like she was the only person in the world, and I... I was weak.” She sounds like she hates herself for admitting it.
“He used my weakness against me. My desire to be loved. By the time I saw him for the monster he really was, I was already trapped. Then I found out I was pregnant, and I decided to keep it a secret. I knew I’d never get away if he found out.
But Roman, he had connections, and money can buy anything.
He paid off the doctor I was seeing and got the test results. After that…”