Chapter 22 #2
“The ranch is in debt.” It feels disloyal to admit that out loud, but then my own mother tried to sell me in marriage, so fuck loyalty. “She needed the marriage to go through. She told me…”
Pride lodges a lump in my throat. God, I’m so ashamed.
I know deep down inside I have nothing to be ashamed of, but I still feel dirty when I think about it.
“She said the ranch would go under. I was the only one who could save it. Otherwise, everybody loses their jobs, we lose the land, we lose everything. What was I supposed to do? Nothing I said mattered. I begged her, Kade. I even told her… I told her…” I can’t do this anymore.
It hurts too much. I drop to the bed in exhaustion, sitting with my hands over my face.
“I knew the kind of person he was. I saw it. He showed me. And she acted like I was overreacting. She didn’t want to hear it. ”
When I hear him coming closer, I turn away, flinching. “I didn’t want to. I didn’t.” I’m not sure why, but it matters he believes me. That someone believes me. I’ve been so alone, screaming into the void.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he whispers. His touch on my back is gentle, almost kind. Has it really been that long since I’ve felt kindness? All I want is to lean into it, soak it up. Like I’m dry earth soaking up rain after a long drought.
“I don’t know. I… I was ashamed. It’s embarrassing.”
And something else. He’s not going to like hearing it, but I’m past caring about that now. Lowering my hands, I turn to face him. I want him to look me in the eye. “You weren’t exactly kind. Actually, you were pretty fucking hateful. Was I supposed to know you would understand or even listen?”
“You’re right. I’m listening now.” He touches a hand to my shoulder, and damn, it feels so good. I don’t want it to. I want to hate him for hurting me. I want to hate him for making me feel so alone. But I’m also tired. And it’s been so long since someone touched me gently.
My eyes drift shut. My focus zeros in on the weight of his hand. The warmth. I’m so hard-up for comfort, I would even accept this.
Wait. No. Not after all the bullshit he’s put me through.
“Get your hand off me.” I fling it away, jumping to my feet, laughing bitterly at myself. I have to laugh for making it so damn easy for him.
He’s not laughing. “What’s your problem now? What do you want from me?”
“Funny you should ask, because I was just about to tell you.” Flinging an arm toward the window, I whisper, “Get the fuck out of here. Don’t come back.”
The look in his eyes shifts from playful to cold and hard. His arms shoot out like striking snakes, hands grasping my arms to pull me back to the bed. This time, he forces me onto my back and drapes himself over me, knocking the wind out of my lungs.
“You’re forgetting something.” His breath is so hot, unwanted, only I can’t turn my face away to avoid him. He’s too close, too overpowering. “You owe me.”
“I owe you shit!” I gasp while he starts touching me and making me forget why I told him to leave because oh, my God, it’s incredible. What he does to me. What he makes me want to do.
“Then you won’t mind me going to Emma’s room and telling her what you did to you dear dead fiancé?”
He’s sicker than I thought. So sick, it shocks me. “You’re going to force me? You’re that low?”
“That’s right. Insult me,” he urges, chuckling darkly while one hand palms my boob and squeezes.
Goddammit, why does that feel so good? “I hate you. You’re vile,” I whisper even as my hips lift and my back arches into his touch.
“But you still want me, little filly. What does that say about you?”
The worst part is, he’s right. No matter how much I fight, it’s not because I want to. Not really. Not in my body. Maybe in my heart, where I know he is nothing but self-serving, dark and cruel.
But it’s not my mind he’s touching when he works his hand under my pajama top to touch my bare skin. Goose bumps race over it, and I shiver, which only pisses me off more. It’s bad enough I’m weak for him, but I don’t have to show it so he can make fun of me.
I grit my teeth while he massages my boobs before flicking one nipple, the other, watching closely to see how I react. “Quit pretending,” he mutters while I struggle against my own body. “You want this. You want me, and I want you.”
“Fuck you.”
“That’s more like it.” He flashes a wicked grin before hooking his fingers around the waistband of my shorts and making my pussy flood with heat and wetness that pools in my slit.
Wrong, so wrong. I squeeze my eyes shut.
The frustration makes me shake. The rage and the helplessness.
It doesn’t even matter that he’s bigger, stronger.
I would be helpless against him, either way.
He lets out a soft growl once I stop fighting and lie still so he can strip off my shorts and the thong underneath.
This is what he wants? Then this is what he’s going to get, but I’ll be damned if it’s the way he wants it.
I put up no fight, letting him wedge himself between my thighs, forcing them open wider to make room.
“What are you doing?” He sounds unsure now.
“What? Not as much fun this way? Because you want me fighting, don’t you?” I taunt while he runs his hands up my bare legs, pressing into my thighs. “Anything, so long as you can feel big and powerful. You’re boring.”
“Boring? I’ll show you boring.” He pushes himself up onto his knees, glaring at me. His dark eyes burn as he angrily undoes his belt, then pulls down his zipper.
“Am I supposed to shiver and tremble now?” I ask, pushing myself up on my elbows. “Please, tell me, so I know how to act.”
“You’d better shut that smart little mouth.” His deep voice reverberates through me as he pushes his jeans and boxer briefs down to his knees. “You know what I can make you do with it, and we both know how wet you get when you suck me off.”
His hard dick sways back and forth a little now that it’s free.
I pretend not to care, rolling my eyes. “Should I be intimidated now? Maybe ask you how I’m supposed to take all of that?
You’re fucking sad. Is this the only way you can get it?
” I ask with a laugh as he takes himself in his hand and strokes, staring down at my pussy.
“Blackmailing me? Is this how pathetic your life is now?”
“It doesn’t look like your pussy thinks I’m pathetic.” He surprises me by swiping a thumb through my wetness, making me gasp. “Your pussy looks ready to me. Feels like it, too.”
The air rushes from my lungs again when he lands on me, crushing me against the bed. His wide head probes at me before he takes himself in one hand to grind his head against my clit. “Admit it. You’ve been wanting this.”
“No,” I grunt even while the heat builds and sparks of pleasure sizzle in my core. “Fuck you, Kade. I don’t want you.”
“Tell that to somebody who can’t feel how your pussy is weeping for me,” he rasps. His forehead touches mine, our breath mingling between us, faster and hotter. “You’re gonna come for me tonight, Allie. You’re gonna come on my cock.”
“I won’t!”
“Oh yeah, you will,” he pants in my face before pressing against my entrance, making me bite my lip to hold back a moan of want and dread all at once. “There’s nothing in our way now.”
There is one thing.
One thing he feels when he presses forward. Stretching me, he forces my body to take his swollen head.
Now he knows.
His eyes open wide before he pulls his face back to stare down at me. His mouth moves silently before he finds his voice. “You’re a virgin?”
“I was until now.”
“You… you never told me.”
“And?” When he doesn’t say anything, I snort. “You assumed I wasn’t. Why would I correct you?”
“I…” His eyes keep moving over my face, like all of a sudden he can’t put two and two together. He finally pushes himself up on his elbows and starts to pull away.
“Too late for that.” I sit up partway, one hand around the back of his neck. Our eyes meet before I catch his bottom lip between my teeth and bite down hard enough to make him grunt in pain. “Don’t you dare stop. You fucking finish what you started, Kade.”
His features shift and harden while I pull him back down on top of me. He’s inside me still, and now he holds his body over me while pushing himself deeper—white-hot, searing pain tears through me from the place where we’re connected.
“Take it,” he whispers, his voice cutting through pain and the pressure that’s shredding my soul. “You want it? Take it.”
The challenge makes me grit my teeth and swallow the pain. I need to show him I can handle it. “Deeper,” I whisper, shaking before I wrap my legs around him. “More.”
He leans down to bury his face in my neck. His tongue paints my skin while he sinks deeper. My teeth graze his shoulder before I bite down through his shirt when he goes as deep as he can. It’s indescribable. I’m so full. It hurts… but in a good way.
With both hands, I claw at his Henley, pulling it up over his back until he helps me strip it off. With my nails digging into his shoulders, I whisper, “More. Give me more.”
“You think you can take it?”
My nails rake across his skin and make him hiss. I love the sound. “I thought you said you were going to make me come on your cock.” I lock my ankles around his ass. “Let’s see you try.”
This time, he’s not so slow. He pulls back, then pushes forward hard enough to rock my body. Stars explode behind my closed eyes as I absorb the pain and pleasure, all mixed like a cocktail I’ve never tasted but could get used to.
“Look at me.” He pulls back again, breathing hard. “Open your eyes.”
I do, and I watch him come apart a little at a time as he builds the friction with every stroke. The pain starts to fade, but the pressure, the fullness, is still there. And it starts to feel good. So good.
“That’s it.” He moves a little faster, and I want him to. I want it more than anything now. I want to feel what happens when I come with him inside me. It’s there, like a tiny flicker in the dark, but it’s growing. It gets brighter with every stroke that makes his balls slap my ass.
He uses one hand to push my top up over my chest. My boobs bounce in time with his strokes—the little sizzles of sensation when my nipples brush his chest are mind-blowing, and I arch my back against him because I want more. This isn’t enough. I don’t know if anything ever would be.
“Kade…” I whimper, running my hands over his back, feeling the way his muscles move under his skin.
“Give it to me.” He moves faster, faster, and now there’s a sloppy, wet sound every time our bodies collide. “Let me feel it. Let me feel you come on my cock.”
It’s almost there, just out of my reach. “I want to come,” I groan in frustration, but I can’t get there.
“Let me help you.” He lowers his head to caress my ear with his lips while working a hand between us to thumb my clit and tease a high-pitched squeal out of me. “Give it to me, Allie. I want you to come on my cock. I want you to milk me. Let me feel it.”
That’s all it takes to set off an explosion in my core. My body clenches around him, gripping him tight, before the tension finally breaks, and I have to press my mouth to his shoulder or else scream the house down.
“Yeah, Allie, that’s it.” He pulls out while I’m still shaking, while the waves of bliss are still rolling through me. A second later, a splash of heat lands on my stomach. Another one, another one, before he collapses next to me with a deep grunt.
How does he always do this to me? I start out hating him, then end up begging him.
I don’t trust myself around this man. I don’t understand how he undoes me so easily, how easily the switch inside his head flips from menacing to kind.
He gets up without saying a word, finishes stripping off his pants and boxers, then walks naked to my bathroom.
I lift my head off the mattress just in time to watch him turn on the light.
I’m momentarily mesmerized by his body, every muscle and dip.
It should be illegal to look as good as he does.
He comes back with a wet cloth, which he uses to wipe his cum from my skin without a word. His touch is gentle. Considerate.
“Are you alright?” he asks once he’s finished.
I’m exhausted. I’m sore as hell. But I also feel better than I have in a long time. “Yes. I’m fine.” I sit up long enough to pull my top over my head and toss it on the floor. “I’m definitely good.”
And I’m even better when he gets into bed with me, then tucks the blankets around us before pulling me into his arms like it’s where I belong.
Considering this is the first time I’ve felt anything close to relaxed in days, maybe even weeks. Maybe this is where I belong?
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he whispers in my ear.
His breath tickles the back of my neck, and his warm, naked body curls around mine. In his arms, I feel safe, cherished.
I yawn before mumbling, “You never asked, and let’s be honest, it wouldn’t have changed anything. When the time for us to fuck came, I wanted it to be real. I wanted it to be exactly how it should be, how it was.”
He chuckles softly. “What am I going to do with you, filly?” That’s the last thing I hear before exhaustion and satisfaction work together to knock me out cold.