34. Melanie #2
“My family was in a car accident when I was younger. And I just happened to be on the wrong side of the car, and a piece of metal sliced me as the car hit the ground.” I pressed my other hand against my stomach, trembling as all those horrible feelings burst up.
I always forced myself not to think about it, but I hated the jealousy and spite that hounded me when I really thought about how much my sister had, how lacking I was compared to her, and how much it hurt to share it.
I glanced up at him, hoping for more encouragement, but he’d gone still.
“So, I… I can’t have children…” I murmured, squeezing him so tight our fingers went white. “I’m basically a defective omega,” I chuckled darkly, even though saying it out loud stabbed me right through the heart.
He sat up instantly, and a huge pulse went through his body, echoing into mine.
My heart freefell, my eyes wide, fear tearing through me as the colour drained from his face.
“Oh my God,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” I quickly choked out. “There’s nothing I can do about it. The surgery was really severe, and I…” I was trembling so hard that I couldn’t say it again.
He just stared at me. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
Because his eyes glazed over, like he wasn’t looking at me, as if he thought he’d made a mistake, like he was going to get rid of me any second because his jaw dropped and he started to shake.
He went limp, pulling his hands from mine as he threw himself back into the pillows with a groan. My brow furrowed as he slapped both his hands over his face, completely hiding from me.
His emotions ripped from him, suddenly ricocheting through my body so strongly that I gasped.
“Kai?” I said, already trembling with fear. “What’s going on?”
He moaned into his hands, and fear rushed through me.
Beyond Caspian’s disdain, and Sin’s selfishness, I thought Kai would understand.
Kai hadn’t told me he loved me, but I could feel it there between us, dancing through our hearts as we ebbed and flowed through our bond as we made love.
But it was gone, and in its place a lightness exploded. I almost fell back because of the force of the sheer happiness pounding from him.
I couldn’t bear it.
Because I could guess what it was.
“Why are you covering your face?” I asked, my panic leaking into my voice as I leaned over him, trying to see through his cupped hands.
It might be the same thing all over again. Where our family and friends would talk behind my back and give me looks of pity because I was a beta who couldn’t even have children. My aunts and grandmas said that I’d be lonely my whole life, and even as a teenager, they told me it was such a shame.
Rosa thought I didn’t know about the way her friends had laughed at me for not being an omega. Even though she defended me like a real sister would, I still overheard them talking about how sad I was because of my ‘condition’.
Rosa tried to hide those things from me, but Kai was laying it all out there.
“Just don’t look at me, Brandy. I’m so fucking ugly right now. You shouldn’t see this.”
“What do you mean? I don’t understand.” I needed him to talk to me.
“Please, Brandy,” he begged. “You deserve so much better than what I’m doing. But I can’t stop it. I need a minute before I can answer you properly.”
I was the one who needed a minute. I’d just confessed one of my deepest traumas, and I needed him to see me.
I thought he would act like my mate. I thought he might comfort me or we could share something more. I wanted him to hold me, but he was wrapped up in himself.
I was going to cry again just from hearing the smile in his voice.
But Kai was doing the same thing as my family. Or it could be even worse. Because people at the parties already looked down on me. And maybe Kai was celebrating how I’d never be accepted there. If I couldn’t have children, why would Sin and Caspian want me to stay after the Ceremony?
I was shaking, shifting to pressing my palm into the mattress next to his waist while I clutched my stomach. As if I could erase it and make myself whole again by hiding the scar.
That feeling of floating became more intense. Kai’s scent became so sweet I had a head rush. Every tension that twisted his body since I’d met him had loosened as he let out a sharp laugh, and I recoiled.
I was right next to him, but I suddenly felt so alone.
“Is it because I’m not worthy of you? Are you that happy I’m broken?” I barely got the words out because it hurt too much.
I’d rejected them because of the way they’d treated me when they thought I was a host with children. But what if Kai rejected me because I couldn’t have children at all?
“Kai, talk to me!” I shouted.
It was stupid for me to have expectations. In the end, he was still that omega from the heat suite who snapped and snarled at me and told me to stay in my lane.
“I thought you’d understand, Kai… I thought you’d be…”
He hadn’t trapped me in his nest. I could leave whenever I wished. I had Zania’s money. I had a way out. I stayed because I wanted to be with him, because I thought we were growing and creating something together, and that he felt the same as me.
I would rather deal with Caspian’s scathing rage than see Kai laugh at me.
But it showed I really knew nothing about him.
I was already planning how to leave when Kai ripped his hands from his face and lunged forward.
I didn’t even see his expression as he dragged me into a hug so fierce, I gasped. He squeezed the air from my lungs as he groaned again, rubbing his nose against his tender bite mark on my neck.
“You’re so fucking amazing,” he whispered, and I froze under him, staring at nothing.
Maybe I misheard him, but it didn’t take away the agony that was deeply rooted inside me from his reaction.
Because he was overflowing, love pouring out of him and smothering me so much that I choked.
I couldn’t understand what was going on.
There was no spite or any dark emotions in there.
It was an endless stream of joy that I couldn’t deal with.
They clashed with my pain and distrust. But it felt so good that I had to fight with myself to remember that he had just hurt me.
“You are seriously the most fucking amazing person I have ever met. Every single thing we talk about just makes me even more sure you’re my mate.”
“Kai, please, I need you to talk to me. What’s going on?”
He pulled back, the smile on his face the same kind of serene he had when we made love.
“It means I don’t have to be scared of you anymore. Because you’re so fucking perfect.”
It almost looked like he was crying again.
I’d endured his snarls and felt him strangle me and watched him stab people with glee on his face. I couldn’t imagine why he was scared of me .
“Then why are you smiling? Is it because it means I’m more fucked up than you?”
“Jesus, fuck, no. Brandy, you…” His brow furrowed. “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m the one who’s fucked up. I can’t deal with this news, it’s too good.” He gripped me harder, drawing me into another hug. “Fuck, you’ve really been through so much.”
“What do you mean, you can’t deal with it?” I asked, my frustration making me snap at him.
His hands travelled from my shoulders to my elbows as we both sat up properly. I couldn’t lounge around with him when he’d pierced my heart. I needed to face him. He crossed his legs while I pulled my knees under me.
“I’m so happy,” he admitted, dipping his head. I flinched, not sure I heard him properly. “I’m so happy I don’t have to share you with anyone else. You’ll just be ours.”
“Is that…Is that all you care about?” I asked, pushing at his upper arms to force him to look at me. “You just want my attention?”
“It’s not just that, it’s…” He trailed off as his hands shook against mine.
“It’s like… I don’t know how to explain it…
” His head snapped up, and he met me with a determined gaze.
“It’s like you’ve released this huge thing that I thought I was going to have to put up with for the rest of our lives.
Like, obviously it would be pretty smart to talk about having kids with Sin and Cas before they bite you, but we aren’t exactly top tier in the conversation department. ”
I was too muddled and hurt to respond to his joke.
My body was still hard, still rolling in how he’d laughed. I needed an explanation of his reaction and not just how he felt.
“Kai, I’m really hurting right now,” I said as patiently as I could. “Just tell me what’s going on. I can’t take sitting here and waiting while you search for what you want to say.”
“Shit, fuck, yeah. God, that was the worst fucking reaction I could have ever had,” he groaned as he kneaded his hand against his lips.
“I literally don’t deserve you.” He shook his head before he met me with a determined look.
“Okay, it’s like… Sin and Cas’s families, right?
I mean, it’s not exactly hard to see that they are all cunts, and Zania and Vivian are fucking relentless when it comes to making sure they have kids.
Like, it’s borderline creepy how invested they are.
To be honest, if it was down to me, I’d just harvest their cum and dole it out to all those omegas hoping to fuck my alphas so they could breed a tiny army and take over the world, but whatever.
Morals, I guess.” He shrugged dramatically.
“Kai,” I pressed my hand against his chest, sending him the same pulse of warning that Sin did all the time.