34. Melanie #3
“Okay, yeah, so… Those omegas, hell, fucking everyone in their circles see me as some kind of freak. Literally, the only reason they accept me is because of my fashion design. But they won’t shut the fuck up about how I’m worthless just because I don’t have a fucking vagina.
People are obsessed. And it’s been five years of non-stop harassment for all three of us.
That’s why…” He blew out a harsh breath.
“Brandy, one of the reasons I hated you was because I thought you were going to have my alphas’ kids and suddenly everyone was going to love you and you’d be the new star of the pack. ”
My brow creased as I pulled my hands away, but he caught me before I could distance myself. “But they’ve all been putting me down because of where I come from and who I am? Even you did that.”
He grimaced again before he shook his head.
“Look, they’ve had me for five years and they don’t give a shit about me anymore.
But a brand-new shiny toy turns up and Cas and Sin get someone new to protect and I become old news.
It doesn’t matter where you come from for them, it’s what you represent. ”
“Do you really think your alphas don’t care about you?”
“You’ve only been here for a few weeks and you’ve already seen what it’s like.
As long as you gave them a kid, people would lose their fucking shit.
I mean, I’ve had years to stew over this.
Basically, as soon as you had a baby, I’d be pushed straight into the background.
Maybe I could be the cool uncle in killer heels that drops awesome one-liners and teaches them about sex and makeup when they are older, but there would be nothing for me there.
You’d become the main omega in our pack.
Sin and Cas would absolutely dote on you.
All those fucking bitchy omegas would get over their thirst and invite you to everything.
You’d be part of the most important cliques, and no one would give me a second glance. ”
“I really can’t see that ever happening. People seem to care more about where I come from than anything else.”
“Yeah, but you’re just so amazing that people won’t care.”
He said it so easily, even though he was one of those ‘people’.
But I still had an idea of what he was talking about.
When Rosa had Tommy, all of our friends, family, and neighbours flocked in to take care of her.
She was the centre of attention, and she absolutely lavished in it.
It only made her worse, because she still expected everyone to bend over backwards for her even though it’d been a year since people stopped fussing over her.
It was after Mum had her stroke, and we did need the help, but I was pushed aside because everyone else knew how to take better care of Tommy than I did.
I knew what Kai meant about fighting to be seen, but I’d decided a long time ago that it wasn’t worth the struggle. So I’d stepped back, and let my jealousy fester because I wanted people who cared for me without having to ask.
It wasn’t that I wished I was an omega so I could raise a family, even though it did hurt to see happy packs doting on their babies. It was that I wanted a pack who would take care of me because I was so tired of taking care of everything myself. It took presenting for me to realise the difference.
“But I can’t give you what you want. Sin and Caspian want children, and I—”
“Who the fuck told you that?” Kai cut me off with a low growl, and I flinched back. “How the hell do you know if Sin and Cas want children? Have you already talked to them about it?”
My eyes widened at his ferociousness, and I shook my head. “It’s not exactly something that comes when all we do is shout and fuck,” I said.
All the tension vanished as quickly as it appeared.
This time, we both managed to grin, and he massaged my hands as an apology.
“But have you ever asked me about it, though?” I asked him, maintaining my hard gaze.
“What?”
“You were getting upset over the fact I was going to have their children, but did you ever ask me if I wanted them?” Because now that I could understand Kai’s reasoning, even if it didn’t make his reaction okay, it was another step closer to being accepted.
He blinked at me, as if hadn’t considered that an omega might not want children.
“I kind of don’t want to ask,” he confessed. “What if you tell me something now and you change your mind in the future?”
“But I can’t. And I had to make my peace with it. What did you think was going to happen before you presented? Did you want kids?”
“Hell no.” He scowled. “I’ve got way too much I want to do before I kick it.
I can’t live my best life if I’ve got to take care of another little shit as well.
I barely get enough attention as it is.” He squeezed my fingers before playing with them, rubbing tender circles over my hands, teasing strokes on my wrists.
“You’re the first person I’ve met that I really want to take care of properly.
Not in the way I do with Sin and Cas, but like a mate taking care of his omega. ”
I wasn’t sure if I was actually forgiving him, but the butterflies that spun through me and the blush that climbed my cheeks as he smiled washed away the hurt from the way he laughed.
He sighed softly. “But I at least wished I had a choice. Didn’t you feel that way? I presented and suddenly that choice was tossed out of the window and it was never up to me.”
“Of course I felt it. But we can make another choice.” I gripped his hands, holding him still, taking charge.
“Yeah? What kind of choice?” He arched his brow.
“We can make a choice here not to have children. Even if we can’t physically, we can still choose not to let it hold us back. You told me we always have a choice, so we can decide this together.”
Kai groaned as his head tipped forward. More love bloomed from him, and he rubbed his cheek against mine, shuffling nearer.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to turn my head to find out what face he was making this time. But he kept himself hidden again.
“You’re too good for me. I don’t think I’m going to be able to top that.”
“Are you saying that’s too much?”
“I’m saying that I’m a fucking simp for you because I feel so fucking lucky.”
I couldn’t believe he was this happy. It didn’t feel real that he was so pleased about it when so many people made me feel ashamed. Everything he said made sense, but it wasn’t something I could get used to easily, even though he was already pulling me into another hug.
And it was still hard to deal with such biting honesty from him when he’d been so closed off weeks ago.
A laugh bounced from him as his nails sank into my thigh as he dragged me towards him.
“Yeah, let’s make this fucking choice. Whatever our alphas or their fucked-up families say, it’s down to us.” He smirked. “So, come here and let me show you what being a real omega’s all about.”