Chapter 28
SAM
It had been three days since Clio walked away from me, and I was fucking losing it. My wolf was mad.
He was pissed that I’d let her go. I was pissed I’d let her go. But I was also pissed at her. No, not at her, but at this situation. She wouldn’t see me.
No one did.
All everyone saw was a young, virile male who was only good for two things: bedding females and busting broncs.
Clio couldn’t see past what had happened with her ex. She thought I was him. She thought my pack was his. She never gave me or us a fucking chance.
My wolf wanted out to run, except I couldn’t shift. Well, I could, but I didn’t want to. Running wouldn’t solve a fucking thing.
As I walked into the bunkhouse’s kitchen to get a drink of water, I stubbed my toe on one of the dining chairs.
“Fuck!” I shouted, then grabbed the chair and flung it against the wall.
It bounced off, but only after it left a huge dent in the drywall.
Johnny came running out in only his boxers from the bedroom he shared with Emma. His hair was tousled. “What’s going on?” he asked, wide eyed.
Turning toward him, I growled. My toe didn’t even hurt any longer, having healed in seconds. Yet, that sharp bite of pain pushed me over the edge.
“I think I’m going moon mad.” I probably should have run with the full moon the other night. Or in the days since.
“Is he okay?” Emma whispered to Johnny when she joined us.
Johnny pulled her into his side and whispered, “Text Rob, okay? Get him down here.”
I wasn’t paying Emma any attention. I couldn’t breathe as I paced. I was sweating. All I could think of was Clio. She didn’t choose me. She didn’t want me. I wasn’t enough. I was too much like her ex.
“Have you slept?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Eaten?”
“No.”
“Shifted and run?”
“No.”
“Go to her.”
“She doesn’t want me,” I snapped.
The front door flew open, and Rob came in. While it was just after dawn, he was dressed as if he’d been up for hours. Unlike Johnny who must have the day off. He had probably hoped to spend the time in bed with his mate, but I’d fucked it up.
I fucked everything up. I couldn’t even be trusted to be a good roommate.
“What’s going on?” Rob shut the door behind him. The morning chill that had seeped in ceased. He took in the damaged wall, the chair on its side. Me.
He must’ve used his wolf speed to hustle it down the hill to get here so fast. If I gave a shit, I’d wonder what Emma had written in her text.
“You!” I shouted, pointing at my alpha and stalking across the room toward him. “You did this. You made me treat my mate like she’d perpetrated some crime. Trying to fucking interrogate her for information about another pack when she’s human.”
Rob’s eyes widened slightly.
Johnny sucked in a breath. “Dude, that’s your alpha.”
I whipped my head around at Johnny for a second. “My alpha made my mate feel like she wasn’t wanted in this pack. My alpha made my mate cry. My alpha made my mate–”
“Sam,” Rob said, his voice laced with alpha warning.
I didn’t heed it. I was so done with everything. “What?”
“Don’t talk to your alpha like that, Sam,” Johnny warned.
“Or what? He’ll put me down?” I ran a hand through my hair.
The door flew open again. This time it was Boyd, Colton, and Clint who came in.
“We heard shouting.” Boyd came to stand beside Rob. Colton and Clint settled near the door.
Damned wolf hearing. It seemed everyone on the ranch heard me.
“Fucking great,” I muttered. “I’m surrounded. Whatever. Put me down, Alpha. Banish me.”
“You were supposed to find out about the pup’s father and pack,” he reminded.
“And you threatened Cody to wipe Riley’s mind because she knew about us,” I countered. “He didn’t have a choice and went against your wishes and fucking kidnapped her. Your orders are flawed.”
No one said anything. My words hung in the air. I stepped back, leaned against the edge of the counter.
“I didn’t kidnap my mate,” I continued. “I obeyed and look where that got me. A mate and pup, and they want nothing to do with me. Why? Because she thinks I was only into her because we needed to make sure we didn’t put her five-year-old in the middle of a fucking pack war.”
“Sam, look–” Boyd began, hand out and trying to calm me.
“NO!” I shouted.
“Whoa.” Clint stepped away from the wall and came over, setting a hand on my shoulder.
Tired of being fucked with, tired that I was the one in the wrong, I punched him.
His head rocked back, and he put his fingers to his mouth.
“Sam, fuck–” Boyd said. He moved closer, but didn’t get within punching range.
“Apologize to your alpha,” Clint said.
I shook my head. “No. Fuck no.”
“Sam,” Johnny said, as if he might be able to calm me.
Rob hadn’t even blinked through all this, and that only made me more furious. Pushed me over the edge that I’d been teetering on for two days.
I slashed my hand through the air. “Enough. When my father died, no one let me step up. I was patted on the head and told I was a good kid. That I wasn’t responsible enough to take care of them.
You know what I had to do to prove I could?
I had to fucking leave. Join the rodeo. Take care of my mother and sisters from the circuit because no one let me take care of them here.
Even after all that, I came back, and no one trusted me enough that all I had left to do was go out and be the man everyone assumed I was.
“Now… now, I’ve got a mate and a pup, and I can’t even take care of them the way I see fit. When will I be trusted to take care of my family? My mate? My pup? What the fuck do I have to do to prove that I can be trusted? Be worthy?”
No one said anything. Especially Rob.
I went over to him. Got close. Real close. Our noses were only an inch or two apart. I felt his alpha energy, and my wolf felt like backing down, but we couldn’t. Not this time.
“Whoa, Sam. Step back.” Boyd’s voice was low.
Rob raised a hand. “No. Let him speak his mind.”
I did. I fucking did.
“I was doing it all, Alpha,” I growled. “The second I caught her scent, I did everything a mate should do. Everything a father should do for his pup. Except you didn’t trust me to handle my own mate.
I followed your orders. This is your fault!
” I lost the anger that had carried me this far. “Put me down. Banish me.”
I dropped my head. Done. Ruined.
A hand landed on my shoulder and pulled me away from Rob. Johnny. Johnny was pushing me around Rob and toward the door. Colton opened it for him, and we went outside into the frosty air.
“Shift, Sam. Shift and run,” Johnny said. “I’ll go with you.”
There was nothing left to do. Nothing left to say. To feel. For the first time in two days, I let my wolf out.
I shifted.
I ran.
But I couldn’t escape the loss.