Chapter One
JAMIE
EIGHT MONTHS LATER
Jamie Lyons had a bad feeling. It sat in her chest and hadn’t gone away in weeks.
Most days, she didn’t notice it too much.
It was just there, like the low sound of a foghorn drifting across dark waters, warning others of nearby danger.
When it first started, she tried to ignore it, breathing through it during her morning runs, avoiding thoughts about it during her Empwr meetings, and pretending it wasn’t there when Beth asked her what was wrong.
But it was there, and it was persistent.
Unfortunately, she recognized the feeling immediately.
It was one she had come to know extremely well.
Her intuition. Did she love admitting that she trusted it?
No, because in the few cases it reared its head, like it was now, she could only hope it was wrong.
But it was intuition that nudged her to call Dr. Albright’s office and move up her annual mammogram appointment, and it was why she was now, once again, in the awful cycle of waiting for answers, exactly where she had been three years ago.
She took a deep breath as she sat cross-legged on a yoga mat on the weathered dock, looking out over the water, attempting something that was supposed to resemble meditation.
She exhaled all the negative, spiraling energy from her body—just like all the YouTube videos said—or, at least, attempted to, because it was Pancake Sunday, and Pancake Sunday didn’t leave room for spiraling.
She stood, rolled her yoga mat, and tucked it under her arm before making her way back up the creaking wooden stairs toward the house.
On the deck, she caught a glimpse of Beth through the sliding glass door and stopped for a moment to watch her.
She was swaying, no doubt to music Jamie knew she always liked to have playing in whatever room she happened to be in.
Knowing Beth, it was probably Fleetwood Mac.
A few loose strands of hair had fallen from the long, loose braid down her back, and she had those little lines between her eyes that only appeared when she was focused.
Jamie slid the door open only to hear the sounds of the Rumors album. She knew her girlfriend well. The gentle thud of the yoga mat hitting the bottom of the basket they kept by the back door drew Beth’s attention away from where she had been slicing strawberries and bananas.
God, that smile. Jamie would never get tired of the feeling of how Beth’s smile filled her, wrapping itself around her in a protective way. It was exactly what she needed right now.
“How did your meditation go?” Beth asked, as she resumed slicing.
Jamie moved toward the counter before stepping behind Beth, slipping her arms around her waist. She stood on tiptoes so she could rest her chin lightly on Beth’s shoulder. Jamie shrugged and let her body press gently against Beth’s back, melting into the comfort the physical closeness brought her.
“It went. I don’t think I’m doing it right.” Her lips sought the nape of Beth’s neck to place a soft kiss there, nuzzling against her.
Beth chuckled, set the knife down, and turned to face her, with those impossibly blue eyes Jamie loved so much resting on her.
“I’m proud of you for sticking with it.”
The validation warmed her as she slipped her arms around Beth’s neck and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I can’t get my brain to turn off, you know?”
Jamie could hear her own frustration in her words, but Beth didn’t shy away. “I know, love. Meditation is like a muscle. It takes practice. The longer you stick with it, the more natural it will feel.”
“I know,” Jamie grumbled, leaning in again to capture Beth’s lips with her own.
Kissing Beth was as natural to Jamie as breathing.
Like it was something she was always meant to do, and now, even after they had been together for three years, it still sent that tingle of excitement racing through her.
Her fingers slipped up under the hem of the old Stanford hoodie—the one tattered and covered in paint splatters, clearly well loved.
Beth rewarded her with a sharp inhale as Jamie brushed her fingers along warm skin, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss.
“Ew, get a room, please.” A voice came from the other side of the counter, and they broke apart to see Lily standing in front of them.
Beth laughed, reaching for a dish towel and tossing it at Lily. “One day, love, you’ll understand how rare it is to find someone you still want to make out with whenever you get the chance.”
Lily rolled her eyes, those perfect little mirrors to Beth’s grinning anyway. “You two are gross, and you know it.”
Jamie took a moment to study Lily. She had clearly just woken up, and was still sleepy-eyed, barefoot, in leggings and an old UW hoodie she had swiped from Jamie at some point over the last few years, the same way she had a hoodie from Beth and Sarah.
But it was that same little smirk that always seemed to rest quietly on the corners of her mouth that continued to melt Jamie’s heart, reminding her of the sullen fourteen-year-old she had met four years earlier, when she had started as Lily’s gymnastics coach.
Now, at eighteen, Lily had three Olympic gold medals under her belt and a fiery confidence that was unparalleled. Jamie was so proud of her.
“Mom texted me and said she and Nell are on their way over.” Lily picked at her nails as she spoke. Jamie recognized the habit instantly—it was the same tell Beth had for whenever she was nervous about something but trying to stay strong.
“Are you going to tell us what the big announcement is, kid? You did call this Pancake Sunday meeting, after all.”
Lily rolled her eyes at the use of the nickname but didn’t push back. It was their thing. “You’ll find out when everyone else finds out, hopefully soon. Did you talk to Amanda?”
“Yup. She and Kelly will probably be a few minutes late. I swear neither of them can tell the time.”
“Sean and Dylan are coming over, too. Pat had to be at the shop today,” Beth added, stirring a large bowl of pancake batter.
“And Wren is at an away game, but I already told her and swore her to secrecy.” Lily swiped a strawberry and popped it into her mouth.
“I’m going to go get ready,” she said breezily, before making her way down the hall toward the basement stairs.
“Mom just pulled in the driveway,” came her voice a moment later from the foyer.
“Chaos begins in three . . . two . . . one . . .” The doorbell rang out, the familiar low chime finding them in the kitchen.
“You love it.” Beth smiled as she set the bowl of batter aside and pulled out the griddle.
“I’ll get the door.” Jamie kissed Beth swiftly on the cheek before heading toward the front door, where she could make out two figures through the frosted glass.
Beth was, of course, right. Jamie did love it.
It had been so long since she had really been a part of any family.
While Amanda had been her best friend, and her family had always made a point to include Jamie in family events, she had always felt a little like she was intruding, or sitting on the outside, observing.
But this family—Beth’s family—felt like hers, too.
Jamie pulled the door open and, wincing at the familiar whine of the hinges she kept meaning to fix—note to self: get WD-40—she smiled at Sarah Gallagher and Nell Stanhope, who stood side by side on the porch, drink carrier in hand.
“You are my new favorite person,” Jamie said, grinning at Sarah, as she reached out and took the coffee carrier from her. “Come on in.”
They stepped inside the foyer, slid their shoes off, and headed back into the kitchen. “Morning,” Beth said cheerily from her station behind the griddle, where pancakes were beginning to fluff and turn golden.
Jamie set the carrier on the counter and proceeded to pass around the drinks before setting Lily’s in the fridge.
“Has anyone been able to figure out what this big announcement is?” Sarah asked, sliding onto a stool next to the one Nell had claimed.
Jamie handed Beth her coffee and resumed the slicing of fruit Beth had abandoned.
“No. She’s been pretty tight-lipped about it,” Beth said. “When did she get so good at keeping secrets?”
“Is it really a secret? Or is it a strategy? She clearly has a plan in mind for how she wants to deliver whatever her news is,” Nell mused. “Very effective, if you ask me.”
Jamie laughed as she dropped the sliced strawberries into a larger bowl. The front door opened and closed again, followed by the voices of Sean Cassidy, and his daughter, Dylan. “Hello, hello.”
“We’re back here,” Sarah called down the hall.
Hugs were passed around as the pair entered the kitchen, and Dylan set a reusable shopping bag on the counter.
“Dyl, can you go grab Lily?” Beth asked. “Let her know we’re only waiting on Kelly and Amanda.” Dylan nodded before disappearing back down the hall.
Jamie watched Beth turn to her best friend Sean with a conspiratorial smile as soon as Dylan’s long, dark ponytail disappeared down the hall. “Were you able to get anything out of her?”
“Not a peep,” Sean said, handing a plate to Beth as she began to stack pancakes. “And she’s usually so easy to get to crack.”
Nell pulled the bag Dylan had left on the counter toward her and began unloading the pastries Sean had brought. “Well, we’ll know what it is in just a few minutes.”
Jamie continued quietly slicing strawberries, letting herself enjoy this moment as the group speculated about what Lily’s big news could be.
She loved moments like these—slightly chaotic but filled with so much heart.
It was what she had come to expect from this odd little cluster of people she had surrounded herself with.
It had taken her a while to get used to suddenly having people who cared about her in the ways she had come to know and love, but now, she appreciated it for what it was—family.