Chapter 26 - Avery
Rowen’s eyes were bloodshot and wild, locked on mine.
I stared at his chest, at all the permanent reminders he’d always been mine. His breath stalled when I traced the letters of my name, let them fall to count the scars across his ribs.
Tiny goosebumps appeared on his skin, and I smiled to myself. By the time I met his gaze again, my heart was beating out of my chest.
I started to lean forward, my eyes flicking down to his lips. He anticipated the kiss, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip in preparation.
Just before we made contact, I stopped. “I’ll never let you go either.”
He looked up at me like I was the only thing keeping him alive. Cuffed. Vulnerable. He was shaking, his hands flexing like he was itching to touch me, hold me.
I should have felt triumph. Maybe peace.
Instead, I felt like I’d been cracked open.
“I can’t think when I’m around you, though,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. “Everything gets…foggy. Like I disappear, and all that’s left is who you want me to be.”
“Avery.” He sat up, tugging at the cuffs again. “Don’t do this.”
“I shouldn’t forgive you,” I went on, my voice shaking, throat tightening.
“You’ve been lying to me about different things from the very beginning.
The maze at the club. Michael. Your obsession.
Then this. You hid things from me.” I tried swallowing my emotions down.
“You don’t know how to love, Rowen. All you do is devour like a—like a monster. ”
“I need you,” he growled, struggling harder now.
“I’ve never needed anyone before…” He paused, looking down for a moment before his gaze shot back to mine so suddenly, I jumped.
“You think I’m a monster? Fine. I’ll be your goddamn monster.
” He was breathing hard. “But remember…you’re the one who made me this way. ”
I stared him down, chest tight, tears forming again.
“I don’t want to leave you,” I admitted. “But a part of me does want you to suffer.”
His eyes widened just enough for me to notice. “Avery…”
“It doesn’t even make sense, does it?” I tilted my head. “That I want to punish you for what you did to me, yet I still want you? That I want to ruin you the way you ruined me?”
He shook his head. “No, baby. Please don’t do any—”
“I should hate you,” I cut in, shaking my head. “But I don’t. I just want you broken.” I paused for effect. “For me.”
“Avery—don’t.”
But I was already moving. I backed off the bed quickly, grabbed my phone, and threw on a jacket. There was no plan, but I knew I couldn’t stay.
Not like this.
Rowen was yanking furiously at the cuffs, and I knew there was a chance he would break away from the wooden headboard it was attached to if he tried hard enough.
I had to move fast.
“Avery!” his voice roared behind me as I reached our bedroom door. “You run from me, and I swear to fucking God, the second I catch you—”
I paused in the doorway and turned to look at him.
His chest was heaving, eyes feral. His arms stretched against the restraints, the veins bulging in his arms. “—I will fuck you so hard, you’ll break for me.”
I smiled—just a little.
Because that was what I really wanted.
I wanted it so bad it scared me.
But he’d have to earn that.
“Good,” I said and slammed the door behind me.
As I ran down the stairs, I could still hear him screaming.
Let him.
Because when I came back—and I would, when I was ready—I wanted him starving for me.
Some unhinged, fucked up part of me needed to watch him fall apart, knowing, hoping he’d destroy me all over again.
I was a wreck by the time I reached the garage. Tears streamed down my face, and I was sobbing so hard, I couldn’t take a full breath. I felt like if I stopped moving, my body might refuse to keep going.
Grabbing the keys was hard, sliding into the driver's seat and starting the car harder, but pulling out onto the driveway was nearly impossible. My heart and body begged me to turn around, begged me to go back upstairs and throw myself at the only man I’d ever wanted, ever loved.
But my brain told me to run, to get as far away from my stepbrother as I could, because that was the only way I could have a clear head to think about what I really wanted.
My mind raced as I drove down the dirt road.
What the fuck are you doing, Avery? What’s the plan?
I knew the name of the nearest town, but I’d only been twice with Rowen—grocery shopping both times.
The last time, we also stopped at the farmer’s market, but when a man at a stall flirted with me while I looked at his vegetables, Rowen started getting the food delivered to the house, and we didn’t leave again.
His jealousy and possessiveness knew no bounds. If he didn’t like something, he would take care of it—his way. I was coming to realize there was only ever room for Rowen’s way of things, and I had to accept that willingly or let him force me to submit to his will.
Because you know there’s no escape.
I typed the town name into my phone and waited for the app to load the directions. We lived out in the middle of nowhere, and now that I was away from the Wi-Fi, my service was slow as fuck.
“Come on…” I muttered, shaking my phone, as if that was going to make it work faster.
I was so focused on my phone, I nearly ran off the gravel road.
The car bounced as I turned the steering wheel to get it back on track.
Instead of risking running off the road and having to walk back to the house with my tail tucked, I pulled over and put the car in park to focus on getting directions.
The route finally loaded, but then, the car made a funny noise and turned off.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
I turned the key and pressed the gas pedal.
It didn’t turn back on.
I popped the hood and got out to look at it—hoping all the knowledge of a mechanic might hit me in the next several seconds.
I huffed and covered my face as I leaned against the car.
This had to be a fucking joke.
All the energy from the day collected in my chest, creating unrelenting pressure, like a huge weight had been placed on it. I looked up into the sky and screamed, releasing everything, all the built-up emotion I’d been pushing down.
“Fuck you, Rowen Blake! Fuck you and your money. Fuck you and your stupid house. Fuck you and your giant dick! I hate you!”
I didn’t, not really, but it still felt good to say.
Ding!
I grabbed my phone to see a text message.
Rowen: Did you really think getting away would be that easy, kitten?
Holy fucking shit…
I knew he’d get out, but I thought I’d be further away before he did.
Ding!
My stomach churned.
Rowen: The car won’t work
Rowen: You’re all alone
Rowen: And I’m coming for you
Rowen: RUN
Panic. Terror. Thrill.
Rowen was fucked up, but so was I. Even though I’d been trying to escape, a small part of me was glad he was still fighting for me, refusing to let me walk away from him, from us.
Come and get me, psycho.
After shoving my phone into my pocket, I took off into the trees, abandoning the car.
I ran as fast as I could, trying to get as far as I possibly could, hoping I was running away from the cabin, from Rowen. The adrenaline pumping through my veins gave me a little more endurance than usual, but it wasn’t long before I was wheezing, needing a break.
I found a large tree and leaned against it, my hands on my knees, taking a few minutes to regain control of my breathing and convince my brain I wasn’t actually in any danger.
Aren’t you, though?
He was pissed, broken, lost, when I left him cuffed to the bed, screaming like crazy, making all sorts of threats.
He’d already cuffed me to the bed for wanting to see my mom, even when I promised to come back. I couldn’t imagine what he was going to do this time.
That alone should have sounded the alarms in my head, but they were offline, their ability to function severed by the need I’d developed to be owned by my stepbrother from hell. To be chased and forced to submit. To be branded by him again and again.
Just thinking about him catching me had my puss—
I heard a distant yell, growing louder with each passing second.
No fucking way…
I ran in the other direction, but the noise kept getting louder. It was like for every one of my steps, Rowen was taking three or four times that, desperate to catch up with me.
“Get your ass out here, Av!”
My heart skipped beats. My legs locked up with fear. My head spun.
“Beg for my forgiveness, and I might show you a little mercy!”
I could hear his heavy steps snapping twigs and rustling the leaves. When I tried to look around, I ended up tripping over a rock, sending myself face-first to the ground.
I caught myself on my hands.
“Shit,” I muttered as I looked at the cut across my palm, blood already welling up and dripping onto the ground.
“Gotcha.”