Chapter 30 - Avery
It was unlike any pain I’d ever felt before.
But he didn’t care.
Rowen fucked my ass anyway, making me scream, relishing the way I broke for him.
Just as I always did.
His brutality made me want to beg for mercy, but the way he pressed his thumb against my clit as he sank a few fingers inside my pussy had my toes curling.
I wasn’t supposed to enjoy this.
I hated Rowen for everything he did.
Hated how my body clenched around him.
Hated the way my thighs shook with need.
Tears blurred my vision. My hands moved wildly, confused about what they were supposed to be doing. My body was stretched and filled to the point of tearing open. The burn of his cock in my ass was unbearable.
But I was wet anyway.
“Fucking say it,” he snarled.
I choked on a sob, internally screaming at my body, begging it not to give my stepbrother the satisfaction of taking what he wanted.
But then, his fingers stopped strumming my clit, and the meld of pain and pleasure was overrun with agony.
My lips trembled. “I’m yours! I’m yours! Please! I’m yours!”
He shoved his fingers back inside, curling to hit the perfect fucking spot, conquering me once and for all.
As I squeezed his cock and fingers, screaming and crying, he whispered in my ear.
“The only way you’ll ever escape me is if you stab my fucking heart, Av.
And even then, you'd better make sure it stops beating before you walk away, because there’s not a damn thing that would keep me from you as long as I’m alive. ”
I could’ve begged for his forgiveness. I could’ve avoided this entire thing had I never left in the first place.
But I made him chase me.
He slammed into me one last time and held steady, leaving me full, stuffed, and overwhelmed.
And I broke.
I was tired of pretending I didn’t want him, like I wasn’t wired to crawl back to him, like I hadn’t fallen madly in love with him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, barely audible. I looked up to see his face soften—barely, just enough to show me he heard it.
Rowen eased himself out of me, but the burn remained, a cruel echo of what he did. My body trembled, muscles spent, lips parted with shallow gasps. I blinked away tears, trying to ignore the way pain pulsed between my legs with my heartbeat.
I couldn’t move. Not yet. Maybe not for a while.
Crazy thing was, the ache in my heart was the worst part.
You tried to leave him.
Rowen didn’t say anything at first; he just dropped his forehead to mine and breathed with me. His hands glided up my body gently, like he was afraid to break me. They shook—I felt it—like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done, like he wasn’t ready to let me go and see the aftermath.
He lay down next to me and grabbed my face, and then he kissed me, hard and desperate.
“I’d lose my goddamn mind if I lost you,” he whispered between soft kisses across my face, his voice breaking, his thumbs brushing my face. “I’m sorry, baby. Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
I didn’t answer him, didn’t trust my voice, wasn’t sure I could speak right now without cracking.
“I just—” He kissed my jaw, then my throat, then my chest, moving between my legs again, but my body was too tired to react. “You ran, Av. You fucking ran, and all I saw was red. I thought I lost you for good.”
His mouth was nearly between my legs, his kisses still gentle, so careful, I almost sobbed from the contrast. One second, I was his filthy whore—his fucktoy—and the next, I was everything to him.
And, God help me, I enjoyed every bit of it.
“You belong to me,” he said again. “You don’t get to disappear. You don’t get to leave me.”
Tears slipped down my cheeks as he slipped two fingers inside me, and I gasped, the soreness between my legs overwhelming.
But he didn’t stop.
He whispered sweet nothings, reminding me he loved me and would do anything for me while he stroked the spot that made my thighs shake.
I closed my eyes, savoring the gentle love.
Rowen ate me on the forest floor, physically and metaphorically. When he finished, he carried me back home, half-naked and completely ruined.
He was so gentle, holding me like I was the most precious thing he’d ever touched.
I wanted to hate him for what he’d done, for the way he’d fucked me up and made me need him. I wanted to scream at him, tear him apart, and tell him he had no right to love me this way, not after that.
But I couldn’t help the way my heart beat faster when he squeezed me tightly. So, I buried my face in his neck, my body melting into him even though every inch of me throbbed, feeling safe despite the hurt.
He sat me down in the bathroom and started the bath then grabbed our softest towels and put them in the towel warmer he’d surprised me with weeks ago.
I tried to stand and get in the tub, but Rowen was there.
“Don’t push yourself, baby,” he said, getting in before me and helping me ease into the water.
When my ass landed on the bottom, I winced, and he flinched, like he felt it too.
He grabbed a soft cloth and dipped it in the water. He ran it down my arms, over my chest, between my thighs, careful everywhere I was raw. Every stroke was a word, an emotion he didn’t know how to say. Every kiss he pressed to my temple was another broken apology.
“I don’t know how to love you gently, Av,” he whispered against my shoulder. “But I’m trying. For you, I’ll try.”