Chapter Fifteen #2
When Huxley landed, a perfect clear in his wake, I fought back the smile that was forcing itself onto my face.
The camera focused on Hallie, and my heart stopped dead.
Fuck, but she was stunning. She was smiling wide and speaking to Huxley.
She showered him with praise and kissed his neck.
She was a true horsewoman. Praised the horse after a round, just like I did Henry.
Believed in the fifty-fifty partnership that was horse and rider in this sport.
I watched her as she left the arena and wanted nothing more than to go to her in the stalls, pull her to me, and kiss the fuck out of her.
I could still taste strawberries on my lips.
But instead of running to meet her in the barn, I retreated into the privacy of the box and sat down on the plush leather sofa, staring at nothing as the remainder of the riders jumped their rounds.
If I’d been asked who’d ridden, I wouldn’t have been able to say.
All I knew was at the end of the competition, our team placed third.
The trophies were handed out, and that brought an end to the Grand Prix at Doha.
But I didn’t move. As the spectators filed out and the tractors and workers appeared to clear the jumps and rake the ring, I still stayed seated.
The truth was, I didn’t dare move. If I did, I would head straight for Hallie and damn the consequences.
I’d pull her to me and kiss her. I’d stake my fucking claim.
My soul knew she was mine and mine alone, but .
. . fuck. I was sick of this roller coaster between wanting her and feeling like I was putting her in danger.
But the letters were still coming; the attacks, and the thought of seeing her pinned under Huxley the way I’d had to see Genny, was unbearable.
My hand balled into a fist, so tight my bones clicked with the pressure. I recalled her jumping. The freedom she held in her body as she left the ground, the partnership she had with Huxley, and her quiet grace as she rode around the ring was like nothing I’d ever seen.
Suddenly an image of her riding Henry popped into my head. He’d let her fuss him. I’d never seen anyone work with horses like she did. And I could only imagine the hidden talents she could pull from Henry if she rode him.
My head pounded. I was trapped in an impossible situation.
I wanted Hallie more than I wanted to fucking breathe.
Now I’d had a taste of her, I needed more.
I craved her in a way I hadn’t craved anything in my life.
I wanted to taste her again, fuck her and feel her pulse around me, hear her scream as I tied her up and made her fall apart.
But I also wanted to feel her soft hair in my hands, to kiss her softly.
For fuck’s sake, I wanted to fall asleep beside her. Wake up next to her.
I’d never felt that before in my entire life.
But what if being with me hurt her?
But what if being close to her meant you could protect her more? my internal voice asked.
I’d watched her yesterday on the big screen.
Before she jumped, the jumbotron had shown her waiting to ride next.
The fear on her face had been my undoing.
Like she had a damn lasso tied round my heart, I’d run to her.
Said Fuck you to my anonymity and gone to her side.
And I’d seen what my presence did for her—it calmed her, soothed her. Just like she did to me.
Are you going to spend all your life being scared? Forrest’s words circled my head. I had been. For as much as I liked to be in charge, living like nothing much fazed me, I had spent the past year being shit-scared of life. Of losing anyone else I loved.
The thought of Hallie being hurt because of me .
. . I jumped to my feet, unable to sit there anymore.
I was crawling out of my skin. I started when I saw the arena lights had been switched off while I’d been spiraling.
Will was waiting outside the private box when I opened the door.
Due to the many meetings I’d been having and moving around Doha more than expected, Will had been assigned to trail me personally.
It was probably a wise move, considering all that was happening.
I fucking hated that I had to have private security, but that was just the way it was.
“I’m going back to the hotel,” I said, and Will nodded, murmuring into his radio for the car to be brought around. I just needed to get back to my room and think. I needed space, and I needed to do what was right.
I stopped in the hallway midstep and asked, “Has there been any sign of trouble since we arrived in Doha, Will? Any threats?”
“None, sir,” he said, and that settled something in my chest. I nodded, then headed down the elevator to the car.
The entire drive back, I tried to convince myself that being with Hallie wasn’t the right thing to do.
She had just exploded onto the scene. In the past few days, I’d seen article upon article about her and Sage and the future of Golden Oaks and Team Knighton with the arrival of such flawless talents.
I didn’t want to affect that in any way.
As I entered the hotel, a familiar laugh had me turning to the bar. Atticus was there, talking to a gaggle of women as per usual. My cousin was crack to eager pussy. Walking toward him, I placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned and his face split into a happy smile. “Jasper!” He hugged me.
For just one fucking day, I would love to be Atticus. The way he viewed life . . . All of us Knightons took the piss out of his extroverted, easygoing nature, but the truth was, I envied him. To Atti, life was just one big party.
“Good ride tonight,” I said.
“You came?” he asked, eyebrow raised. Atticus signaled to the bartender, and in seconds, a scotch was in my hands.
“You know,” Atticus said, “having you gone from the circuit means I’m going to clean up!
” He clinked his glass to mine in celebration, the little shit.
I rolled my eyes and knocked back my scotch, feeling its burn ache in my esophagus and slamming the empty glass back on the bar top.
Atticus frowned, losing his humor, then said, “I’m joking, you know?
I’m just taking the piss.” He sighed, and in a rare moment of seriousness, Atticus leaned in close and said, “Truth is, Jas, I miss you. It was always me, you, and Genny on the circuit. For as long as I can remember.” I saw the pain shining in his dark eyes.
“I love Hals and Sage, but . . . it felt different today, not having you guys beside me. My family. My blood. It was always us Knightons, riding together, you know? I’m a friggin’ lone wolf now. ”
It was why he was at the bar, I realized.
Sighing, I kissed Atticus on his temple. I did know what he meant, but it didn’t change our situation. Genny couldn’t ride and I wouldn’t. We were entering a new era. “I’m heading to bed,” I said, then backed away, saying, “If I don’t see you before I leave, good luck in Mexico City.”
“You’re going home to England?” Atticus asked, still looking a little sad.
I nodded. I had to get back. I couldn’t . . . I couldn’t stay on the circuit and be around Hallie. It would be fucking torture.
Atticus cast me a sad smile, then Vivian Cross, an interviewer for Horse & Rider TV, grabbed hold of my cousin’s sleeve and began pawing at his chest. Atticus seemed only too happy to be touched and got back to his first love: women.
I headed up to my suite, Will taking his spot by the elevator once we made it to our floor. “’Night, Will,” I said with a wave, then headed to my room. As I passed by Hallie’s suite, my feet slowed. I checked my watch. It was well past midnight. She was probably in bed.
I tried to make my feet move, to leave her alone, but I stared at her door and wondered whether I should say goodbye to her.
I was taking a commercial flight back home tomorrow, leaving the team with my jet to get to Mexico.
And I wanted her to know I was proud of her.
That she was a great addition to the team.
I’d keep it professional. I’d just say goodbye. I could do that.
Before I knew it, I’d knocked on her door. My heart pounded against my chest as I waited for her to answer. “You fucking idiot,” I told myself under my breath. Then Hallie appeared, and I bit my lip, holding in a groan . . .
Her dark hair looked freshly washed, flowing down to her waist, and she was dressed in a matching cream silk tank top and shorts.
Her long, tanned legs seemed to go on for miles, her toned arms glistened with some kind of oil or cream she’d applied, and her tits . . . fuck, the top barely held them in.
“Jasper?” she said, surprise in her voice, searching the area around us.
I was stock still, dumbfounded. My lungs had stopped working, and my cock began to twitch.
She was fucking stunning. No makeup, flushed cheeks.
Bright-turquoise eyes framed by long, thick dark lashes.
She lifted her hand and nervously ran it through her hair.
I fought back a deep, guttural groan when I glimpsed the faded marks of where I’d hung her up by the reins as I’d fucked her until she’d screamed just nights ago.
Hallie followed what held my attention and a blush burst on her cheeks. But her eyes grew leaden too, like she was remembering the trailer as much as me.
“I . . .” I said, gruffly and cleared my throat. I leaned on the doorframe just to stop myself from pushing her back into the room and throwing her on the bed. “You were great this weekend,” I finally managed, then clenched my jaw.