10. Colt
10
COLT
She’s gone. Lena is gone.
The house is too damn quiet now without her. No clinking of dishes, no soft humming under her breath as she makes us both coffees. No fresh footprints in the dust from her designer flats that she wore when she first arrived.
The bathroom still smells like her shampoo. The boots I leant her are still by the door, missing her feet like I’m missing her. Her lip gloss still shines on the edge of the mug we both shared. I can feel her in every breath I take. In every goddamn heartbeat that passes through my chest.
Her presence here was heaven, but now all that’s left is the sound of the wind, the animals, and the hole in my chest where she used to be.
She came crashing into my life like a missile. A loud, sassy, entitled little brat who thought she owned the place. She drove me nuts, but she was also perfect. She flipped my whole world on its ass and lit my cravings on fire. Her laughter, her attitude, her pouty lips just begging for my kiss. That tight little body twisting beneath me as I claimed her, making me feel like a goddamn king.
I did my best to wall myself off from her, but it turns out walls don’t mean a damn when a girl like Lena walks into your life.
Now it’s been two days, and I haven’t slept a wink. When I’m not working, I’m pacing around, replaying everything that happened and how I fucked up the best thing in my life. I can’t get the look out of my mind when she confronted me–when she realized what I’d been hiding from her. I made her feel like she’s some kind of shameful secret instead of the miracle she is.
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” That’s what she said before she stormed off.
Before I let her run away from me.
God, what was I thinking?
I press the palms of my hands into my eyes, searching for pain that will block out the image of her turning her back on me. She was crying. And it’s all my fault.
I should have stopped her–grabbed her by the wrists and roped her up like a stubborn mare. I should have told her again how much I love her.
But I didn’t. I acted like a goddamn coward.
I thought I was doing the right thing–keeping her safe from her father’s wrath. He’d take his anger out on me for sure, but she’d face it too. At first I thought averting my eyes would work. But when that failed, I thought we could hide things, stay in the shadows, even if it meant rarely seeing each other once she went back to the city. But now?
Now she’s just… gone .
These last two days have felt like months. I’ve been waiting for her father to show up with a brigade of men ready to beat the shit out of me–or the call that I’ve been fired and I need to pack my shit and get out–but so far nothing’s happened. All that can mean is he’s planning something dramatic to really sink the dagger deep.
I walk outside and pace the porch, my hands gripped tightly at my sides. I need somewhere to go, something to do to rid myself of this restlessness. But it’s useless. Not even the hardest work on the ranch can get my angel out of my mind. Nothing can stop this ache.
Everywhere I go brings up thoughts of her. How she used to follow me around in those short-shorts, pestering me just to try and get a reaction out of me. Those tiny little accidental touches that would get my desires pumping.
Lena made me weak, and even though I fought it then, I now know I loved every second of it.
I rub my face with my hand, then stalk over to the barn like I’m in a trance.
Despite the smell of hay and horses, Lena’s scent is still there. It may be faint, but it’s unmistakable. The vanilla of her shampoo and her . God, it hits me so hard that I have to brace myself against the wall.
I press my head against the rough wood and gulp a shaky breath.
“Should have tied her to me,” I grit out. Christ, I’m losing it. I slam my fist into the wall, startling the horses.
I should have told her that nothing else matters in my life. That I’d take on her father, his business, the whole damn world if it meant keeping her.
Instead, I tried to be noble and leave things up to her. Why the hell did I do that? Since when have I been noble? I’m a goddamn cowboy who works on a ranch. I’m not a gentleman. I did my best to keep my hands off Lena, but not out of some dumb sense of honor. Because I was worried about the consequences.
Maybe that’s even worse…
Now I don’t give a damn what happens to me. Just as long as I have her . As long as she’s by my side.
With a deep sigh, I slide to the floor amidst the hay and stare at the empty stall in front of me. This place used to feel like home. Like my own personal kingdom. Now it’s just a reminder of what I’ve lost.
Lena. My sexy little brat. My everything.
I close my eyes and lose myself in the memories of her. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her moans whispered in my ear, her nails clawing into my skin, and her hips bucking against me, desperate for more.
The way she looked at me like I shone brighter than the sun…
No one ever looked at me like that before.
I was her first and only. And I let her walk away.
This time, I punch myself in the thigh. The pain briefly stirs me from my thoughts, but only briefly. Then it’s right back into the hellhole I’ve made for myself.
“No,” I mutter. “It’s not too late, damn it. You can still get her back.”
Lena didn’t leave me because she wanted to. I saw that in her eyes. She left because I didn’t fight for her. And I can’t go the rest of my life knowing that.
I have to do something. And I will.
I rise to my feet, my heart pounding with a new purpose. She needs to know she’s mine–that I’m coming for her. She needs to know that whatever punishment she’s facing from her father, she’s not going to face it alone. And that I’m not going to let his threats keep us apart.
We love each other.
And I’m going to find her. And when I do, I’m not giving her a choice. She’s coming home with me.