Chapter 4
Hank
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I can't even think today. Vee has my mind all fucked up.
I finally got the nerve to tell her I loved her, and she said nothing. Not a word. She couldn’t even say it back.
I knew she had messed around with Luke before. Hell, everyone knew it. But since the shooting, she’s been with me. We share her bed. And I give her fucking mind-blowing orgasms every night. I told her things I’ve never told anyone about. I thought she did the same with me. How could I be so wrong?
But I thought that shit was done. Neither of them mentioned each other, at least not around me.
Well, I take that back. She talked about Luke when it came to her tattoo.
Were her and Luke still a thing? I replay the last five months over in my head, trying my damndest to piece the mystery together.
Slowly, little pieces fall into place. Parties at the club where she would disappear for a while.
I just assumed she was with one of the ol’ ladies. But, when she was gone, so was Luke.
I feel like I’ve been sucker punched.
I’m a fucking idiot.
Sam sent me to work at the strip club early since I nearly beat the shit out of one of the prospects for not doing his work right and getting mouthy. Fuck if these new fuckers think they can talk to patched members with disrespect. That’s not gonna fly. Not with the Hellions.
"Hey man, can I get in or what?" a nasally voice asks.
Looking up, I see a bunch of pricks. I know who they are; they frequent the club a lot. They're with one of the fraternities at the local college. Fucking assholes. The whole lot of them.
"Got your ID?" I sit upright, crossing my arms over my chest, looking at all of them sternly.
"Yeah man, figured by now you'd know who we are," the Ken doll look-alike boasts, like he's somebody.
They all hand over their IDs, and damn if they don’t all look like preppy little bitches in their pictures.
"Nope, you're just another cocky asshole that’s come to get his dick hard lookin' at the dancers. Now get inside before I kick your asses out."
I toss their IDs back, and they hand over their cover fees before scurrying off inside, just like the chickenshits they are.
I drop their cash in the lockbox, just as the next man steps up. He must have heard my previous encounter with the fraternity pricks because he doesn't say a word, not one single offhanded joke, as he waits to get inside.
Smart man. At least someone coming in the door tonight has some brains.
Mack and Ryker step up to me, both holding back laughter.
"What do you two assholes want?" I bark.
Both of them hold their hands up in surrender.
"Nothin' man, we're workin’ tonight. I'll see y'all inside." Mack opens the door, stepping inside the bar, leaving Ryker with me. I can already tell by the way he's staring at me that he's got questions.
Patron after patron, I check their identification and take their money before they disappear inside. Each time they open the door, the booming sound of the music spills out. Only when everyone is gone does Ryker open his mouth.
"What's goin' on, Hank? You're normally a teddy bear unless provoked. So who brought the grizzly out?"
Dropping down on my stool, I let out a sigh. He's as good as anyone to speak to, I guess.
"I told Vee I loved her today."
"Hell yeah, ‘bout damn time. So why are you actin’ like someone pissed in your cornflakes?" he asks as he pulls a stool from the corner and sits down beside me. “You should be celebrating, not rippin’ people’s heads off.”
"She didn't say it back. Said she couldn't. It's a load of bullshit, if you ask me."
"I mean, can you really be pissed at her for not tellin’ you the truth?
Hell, I wouldn’t want a woman tellin' me she loved me if she didn't." Fuck, what he's saying is true, but it still fucking hurts. “Or if she wasn’t ready to say it. Everyone isn’t at the same time. Hell, take me and Ash for instance.”
"I guess," I tell him, running a hand over my scalp. Tiny prickles of hair have started to pop up. My mind drifts back to when Vee found pictures of me with hair and asked if I had ever thought of growing it back out. I was contemplating it for her, but I guess I can shave it now.
"Okay, I'm not a genius, but something tells me there's more to this story. Or more like a someone, like Luke. Man, Hank, you know it's common knowledge they had a thing before your accident. And I’m pretty sure it didn’t end there."
"Yeah, they did. I thought since she hadn't been with him, it was over. She was spendin’ all her time with me. Hell, I was in her bed almost every night. More so over the last couple months."
"Okay, so she likes the two of you, and you both like her. What's the problem?" Ryker just looks at me like it’s not a fucking big deal. He, of all people, should know how I feel, especially with how he treated Ash, and the reason he did.
"Because not everyone is like you and your boys. Not all of us want a relationship like that. I love Vee and the thought of her fuckin' some other guy, brother or not, makes me sick." Bile literally works its way up my throat as I speak, the vision of Luke fucking my girl filling my mind.
That reason alone is why I can't do it. There's no way I can be with her and have anger toward my brother like that. It's not good for a relationship and sure isn't fucking good for the club. Hell, Kaleb and the boys were at odds one time over Ash, and we all saw how that affected shit.
"I see it as a win, Hank. When I'm not there for Ash, one of my brothers is.
She's never alone. Always satisfied, and if something were to happen to one or more of us, she's taken care of.
It may not be the relationship for you, but never put down what we have as less than love.
" With those parting words, he stands and heads into the club, leaving me to sit alone and soak in what he had to say.
Fuck, what am I going to do?
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I open my messages, going right to the thread I have with Vee.
My fingers hover over the keyboard as I debate what I want to tell her.
Me: Am I not enough for you?
Her reply is almost instantaneous.
Vee: Of course you are.
Me: Then why can't it just be us?
The bubbles dance along the screen, popping up and down, as I wait. Finally, they stop and a message comes through.
Vee: I can't help that I care about Luke the same way. We have history, Hank. I can't toss that to the side. Just like I can't toss aside how I feel about you.
Before I can even reply another message pops up.
Vee: I want both of you and I won't choose.
Me: Not even to keep me?
Vee: If you make me choose, then it’ll be no one.
Me: Vee.
I wait, but there's no quick response. No bubbles. Just silence.
Setting my phone to the side, I take care of a group of businessmen who step up to the counter. Going through the mundane steps of checking identification and taking money.
The night continues much the same way, the only excitement being the underage kids who thought they could get past me with the pitiful fake IDs they had made.
They really should have saved their money and found someone who did better quality work.
Especially the redheaded kid. He gave me an ID for a thirty-year-old man who wasn't even the same nationality as him.
When I finally get a break, I pick up my phone hoping to have a message from Vee. But there’s nothing. Sucking up my pride, I call her number, only for it to go straight to voicemail.
"You've reached Vee. I'm not available, so you know the deal. Leave me a message."
I wait for the beep, then blow out a breath of air. "Hey Vee, it's Hank. I really need to talk to you. I know it'll be late when I get off and I told you I wouldn't be back, but can I come by in the mornin’ and talk to you? If I don't get a call or message not to come, then I'll see you then."
Once I'm done, I hang up.
Fuck, I hope she sees my way of thinking and can choose. I want her more than anything. Hell, it took me getting shot to get the courage to make a move on her.
I can still remember it all. How she never left my side at the hospital and she wouldn't let me go anywhere but home with her when I was released.
"Heard you're gettin' eviction orders today," Mack jokes with me as he drops down in the chair beside my bed.
"Yeah, guess I couldn't stay here forever. They're sendin' me home with pain meds and orders to stay in bed. Think one of the club girls can take care of me? Give me sponge baths every day?"
"Over my dead body," Vee's voice rings out as she steps back into the room with the water pitcher. She left when Mack got here to get some more ice.
"Well, Doc said someone had to take care of me," I remind her. Josh had firm orders I couldn't be left alone.
"And there will be. Me. There's no way in hell I'm letting one of those skanks take care of you. All they'll want to do is ride that monster cock of yours and you'll end up right back here in the hospital."
Mack doubles over in the chair laughing, gasping for air because he's laughing so hard. The whole time Vee looks at him, shaking her head.
"Mack, grow up,” she snaps before putting some ice in a cup and pouring some water for me to drink.
First thing I'm drinking when I get out of here is a fucking beer. I'm so sick of water and this tasteless ass hospital food. I'm going to have food ordered in from Melissa's. She'll make sure her big ol' teddy bear Hank has some good food to eat.
"So, you're gonna give me baths, Vee? Make sure I'm all nice and clean?" I tease.
Fuck, I've wanted this girl for longer than I can remember. Now she's telling me she'll be taking care of me. Maybe getting shot was the best fucking thing to ever happen to me.
"Don't get so cocky, Hank. Not only will I be giving you baths, but I'll be putting a catheter in and giving you enemas if you keep it up." Mack and I both grab our dicks at the same time, both letting out a painful groan.
I don't know about other guys, but I was happy as fuck the day they took out my catheter. Something just ain't right about having a tube stuck in your dick, draining your piss for all the world to see.
"Come on, baby, you wouldn't do that to me, would you?" Her face blushes when I call her baby, and I know this is my one chance to make a move.
I promised myself at that moment that Vee was going to be my ol' lady. Just when I finally think it’s within my grasp, it feels like it’s slipping away. I really need to think about what I want to do. Could I have a relationship with Vee like the boys do with Ash?
Fuck, I need to figure it out. Hopefully, she won't tell me not to come over tomorrow, and we can talk. I just need to keep a cool head and an open mind.