Chapter 5
Vee
Ibarely slept at all last night. Tossing and turning as my mind churned away. All I could do was think about how fucked up my life had gotten in less than a day.
Not only am I in love with two different men, I also have feelings for a third, Josh. We were going somewhere before Hank got hurt, and well that kinda fell onto the back burner. Hiding just below the surface, just enough to be a reminder.
Not that it would’ve mattered. Hank wants me to choose, and I can't. I won’t. At least there’s only three hearts affected by my poor choices instead of four.
My alarm goes off, the incessant beeping annoying, as if I wasn't already awake. Instead of reaching over and turning it off right away, I let it continue to go off. Finally, not able to bear it anymore, I roll to my side and reach to grab my phone from the dresser, shutting it up.
A voicemail from Hank pops up just before it powers off.
Shit! I've gotten so used to him plugging my phone in at night that I forgot to charge it.
My blanket falls to my lap as I sit up. I let out a deep sigh; I really need a do-over of yesterday, like in the movie Groundhog Day that Hank made me watch.
If only life were that easy, anytime life got complicated or didn't go our way, we could do it over until we get the desired outcome.
Slowly getting out of bed, I plug my phone into the charger and head to the kitchen.
I'm in desperate need of coffee, even though I'd prefer a stiff drink, preferably tequila.
And not just one, but a few of them. So many that I get black out drunk and pass out.
Finally being free of my turmoil for just a bit.
Turning on my electric kettle, I go about putting the coffee in my mug, along with some creamer, as I wait for the water to heat.
Gripping the counter, I let my head fall forward, my hair hanging in my face as I try to sort out how I ever let myself end up in this situation.
I'm the tough bitch, the one who doesn't take shit.
With anyone else I'd say screw them, but these men have my insides twisted up in knots. I can't let them go that easily.
I stare at the steam rising from the kettle, making it whistle as it heats until it clicks off. I've just finished pouring the water into my mug while savoring the intense aroma when there's a knock at the door. Fuck, can't a girl get just one damn sip of her coffee before someone interrupts?
Picking up my cup, I carefully take a sip, but fail miserably, burning my tongue while the knocking grows louder. Rolling my eyes, I try to calm my temper as I walk to the door.
If my alarm just went off, I know for a fact it's only eight in the morning, so who the hell is knocking on my door this fucking early? I'll tell you right now if I had worked last night, I'd be ripping someone's head off right about now.
Making my way toward the sound, my anger grows with each pound that continues. I flip the lock and pull open the door. "What?" I blurt out sharply.
"Oh, sorry. Did you forget I was coming?" the deep voice on the other side of the door asks, as he looks everywhere but directly at me.
Glancing down, I see I'm still in my sleep clothes that barely cover more than a bathing suit would.
I'm in tight booty shorts, half my ass cheeks hanging out, with ‘Bite Me’ written across the back of them.
Thankfully, he can't see that. My top is a thin, tight cami, clearly showing my pebbled nips.
"Oh shit. I did," I say, trying my hardest to cover my chest with my free hand. "Come in." I glance down at my body. “Um, just give me a minute to run and change.”
"I can come back if you need me to."
"No, it's okay. Coffee’s in the kitchen if you want some and the water’s already hot." I make small talk, trying to ease some of the awkwardness building between the two of us.
"Thanks, but I’m going to pass. I had the night shift in the ER, and if I drink anymore, I'll never go to bed.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Turning I make my way down the hallway, almost tripping when I hear him groan. Fuck me, he’s got a prime view of my ass.
I set my cup down on the dresser as I pull open the drawer, taking out a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized shirt. I slip them on over my night clothes and pick up my coffee, heading back to the living room.
Josh is still standing there, right where I left him.
“I just came by to do my final check on Hank. I just want to look at that pesky wound one last time. Is he still asleep?” Josh lifts his hand, scratching the back of his head as he glances around the room, and down the hall past me.
"Umm, shit. Guess Hank didn't reach out to you?" I move across the room, desperately needing to sit down on the couch. I can feel Josh's movements behind me, following me as I go.
"No, he didn't. Is he not here?" His face holds confusion mixed with fatigue and I hate that he drove all the way to my house to check on someone who's not even here. He should have gone straight to his place and crashed.
Hell, in the time since Ash was rescued the first time until now, I've never figured out where he lives.
Does he have his own apartment? House? Does he stay at the clubhouse?
Guess I've never taken the time to talk to him and really get to know him.
Our conversations were never about anything that personal. Or I never tried to find out.
"It’s kind of a long story depending on how many details you want," I tell him, causing him to laugh. He takes a seat on the couch to my right, angling his body so he's facing me.
Crossing my legs, I turn to the side so I can look at him. Fuck he has gorgeous eyes and full lips. Nope, not going there. I need to get a grip on my hormones.
He runs his fingers through his short brown hair as his deep blue eyes look right into my soul. "What happened?" he asks.
Leaning forward, I sit my mug on the coffee table before pulling the throw blanket off the back of the couch, covering my legs.
"So, yeah, Hank's not here. He actually went back to his place. We had a fight."
Josh's face holds no emotion to tell me what he's thinking. Leaving me sitting in silence, waiting for a response.
"Damn, I feel like shit now. I woke you for no reason. I'm sorry, Veronica."
He always calls me by my full name. Curiosity finally got the best of me one day, and I asked why. He told me it was because of a comic he read as a kid and how he always had a crush on the girl. Her name was Veronica. The only difference is that I have red hair, where hers was black.
"It's okay, I was up." It’s a lie. Kinda. I just woke up.
"Mind if I ask for that full story?" He scoots a little closer to me, his arm stretching along the back of the couch as the tips of his fingers touch my shoulder ever so slightly.
"Long story short, I like him. However, I like someone else too, and he made it very clear that he doesn't share, and I have to make a decision. It’s either him or we’re nothing."
He looks at me, like he's taking in every inch of me, thinking about what his next words should be. He pulls his lower lip into his mouth, letting his teeth glide along it before finally speaking.
"I'm sorry. Who is the other person? I think I have an idea."
"Do you?"
"Yep. We all knew you and Luke were up to mischief with each other. Hell, I was even hoping to get to know you better. You’re hot, but I also feel a connection to you that I had hoped we could’ve explored.
But all the shit with Ash and the club, then Hank and Jace fighting for their lives, seemed to overshadow it. "
I groan at his words. Sadly, I thought I was doing it internally until he speaks up. "I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"
"Only being the third person now to tell me that. Let me guess, you don't share either? You want me to choose if I want to see if there's something there between us?" I huff. My voice rasing slightly but not enough to have my brother barreling into the room guns blazing.
I don’t stop there, I let it all out, rambling like a madwoman, even jumping the gun and assuming he wants me now.
If he wanted me like he said he did, then when shit calmed down, why didn’t he pursue me?
Did he not see the signs that I was into him as well?
How my heart would race when he came to the house to care for Hank. The way I couldn’t stop looking at him.
Josh reaches out, putting the palm of his hand over my mouth as I continue to mumble into it until I finally stop. But his hand stays.
"Good, now that you're quiet and I have your attention, I can continue. First, I'm the third, so I'd take it that Luke and Hank were the first two you asked and who told you that. Also, are you telling me I have a chance? Cause I thought I lost it."
I'm still for a moment, before my body and mind betray me by nodding my head. The corners of his lips turn up as his smile beams back at me.
"I like that. I've wanted you for a while, Veronica, but I was willing to step back, if I had to. It seemed like you and Luke had calmed down while you were caring for Hank. I heard through the grapevine that Hank had feelings for you, and I’m not blind. I saw how he looked at you.” Josh reaches out and pushes the strands of hair that have fallen into my face, behind my ear.
“I hadn’t expressed my intentions so I stepped back, biting my tongue and letting Hank have you.
You both seemed happy, and I knew he was able to be with you more than I could.
My schedule at the hospital is so crazy. ”
I bite the inside of my lip, because this can’t be real. He actually likes me. Wanted me. But didn’t think he could give me the time I needed. I start to try and speak again, but he places a finger over my lips as he shakes his head. He’s clearly not finished talking.
“But you see, Veronica, there's also something you should know about me. My mom taught me how to share, and I just so happen to like doing that."
My breath hitches at his words as he removes his finger from my mouth, replacing it with his lips, kissing me so deeply that I melt like snow under the intensity of the sun. My lips open for him, allowing his tongue into my mouth as it moves against mine.
I'm so caught up in the moment that I don't hear the rattling of my doorknob until it opens. The sound breaks the moment Josh and I are having as we pull away from each other.
"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me, Vee? I came over here to talk, thinkin' you were just as upset as me, and I catch you here, not with Luke"—he gestures to the man standing beside him and then to the other man sitting beside me—"but with another brother.
Guess you're turning into just as big a whore as the ones at the clubhouse. Are you taking a shot with all of us? Figurin’ out which one has the best cock?
" Hank’s words hit me hard, cutting me right to the core, breaking my heart into tiny pieces.
Rage boils inside me. How dare he. Hank of all people knows me better than that. Suddenly I wish I had a knife in my hand so I could toss it at him, striking him right between the eyes.
"Get the fuck out of my house!" I hiss, as I stand and move closer to him. Josh follows close behind me.
"Don't worry, I'm gone." He turns and leaves, just as the tears start to fall, sliding down my cheeks. He slam shis shoulder into Luke as he passes him, knocking him backward.
This is just what I didn’t want. The anger between them. The hostility.
"Vee." Luke's voice is so tender.
"You can get out of here too, Luke. You couldn't tell me you wanted something with me until you found out someone else did. I'm done with all of you!" I shriek, as I turn, crashing into Josh's chest, burrowing my head into it, trying desperately to block out everything.
His strong arms wrap around me, giving me just a small bit of comfort as I break down.
“Luke, I think maybe you should go, give her a chance to calm down.” Josh’s arm holds me firm against him as he speaks calmly to Luke.
“Josh—”
“Luke, come on brother, give her some time.”
I wait for Luke to say something, it’s just eerily quiet until I hear the thud of the door shutting.
Luke left. He didn’t fight for me. Neither him nor Hank did.
Why were the two of them even together? They really hate me.
It feels as if I’m pitting brother against brother all because I couldn’t make a decision.
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay." Josh rubs his hand comfortingly along my back.
"No, it won't. I've fucked everything up," I whimper.
The next thing I know, Josh is lifting me up in his arms and carrying me over to the couch, sitting down with me in his lap.
"Let it all out, Veronica. No matter what happens, I'm here." His velvety voice soothes me slightly.
It's nice to think he will be, but with my track record, I don't see it. Not with them being brothers. The club will always win out over me, and I'll be left alone.
But for this brief moment, I'm going to take the comfort he is so freely giving. Then I'm done with the men of the Memphis Hellions forever.