Chapter 29 Erik
ERIK
It pleased Kole to learn that he did not need to ride back to the Lysian lands with Edda.
Given the state Ariana was in, I insisted she ride with one of us.
She was in no condition to keep herself upright on a horse.
Thankfully, she must have come to the same conclusion, for she did not fight me on it.
Ariana agreed to ride with me while Edda happily took Rain.
Despite the occasional jostle of the horse, Ariana quickly fell asleep when we began our trip back home.
Her body leaned into mine. Now and then, her head would roll to the side across my chest. Every breeze blew the scent of wildflowers from her hair and skin around me, encasing me in her.
I kept my arms firmly positioned around her to keep her from sliding off the horse.
Even unconscious, she was distracting, taking up room in my mind and drawing my attention.
Wind blew an unbound piece of her hair wildly around her neck, pulling my eye to her throat.
Strange how most went about life with their necks exposed and it did nothing to me, yet in that moment it felt somehow intimate.
The way my gaze drifted over her skin, across her jaw, the corner of her lips.
I forced my eyes up, refocusing on the land surrounding us.
Despite my gaze being on everything but her, my mind could not escape the strange pull she had on my thoughts.
Thankfully, even sleeping, Ariana appeared better than before.
Her body no longer shivered; her eyes focused whenever they were open.
Despite these improvements, she remained frail, unable to effectively walk on her own.
Whatever that concoction was that supposedly brought her to the Spirit left her vulnerable.
Ariana seemed so small for someone who now carried so much weight on her shoulders.
The responsibility of her people fell to her just as the responsibility of the Lysians fell to me.
We shared that now. I had been bred for it, trained throughout my entire life to take my father’s place, for I was his first-born child.
Ariana did not know whether the Bavadrin crown would fall to her after her father’s death.
She did not have time to prepare as I had.
It was unfortunate for her to have such a burden placed on her in the middle of something like this. Siding with us would be the easiest choice for a smooth progression in the days ahead.
Yet, what if she did not need stability, as I assumed?
Ever since I met her, she had the strange ability to stand on her own in a way she never should have had the power to.
Every step of the way, no matter how much I challenged her, she did not bow.
Yet she remained flexible enough to keep the pressure from snapping her.
She moved with the change while somehow keeping her head above the water and facing the uncertainty with calm clarity.
Perhaps this new role would not make it easier to sway her to our cause, and if that were the case, what then?
During the long night I spent outside the Bavadrin temple, I had plenty of time to consider the options.
However, every thought led me to the same realization that I could not bring myself to take her life.
I looked at her face as she leaned against me. The slight wrinkle in her brow, the way her lips lightly parted, all of her was captivating. She seemed so vulnerable, and I longed to shelter her. Ashes. What is this woman doing to me?
Ariana dozed off again, but this time dreams accompanied her sleep.
She mumbled something incoherent, even for my keen hearing.
The sound of her heartbeat climbed. A moment later, she flinched, and then a small whimper escaped from her.
And though she did not appear to be in any blatant distress, I couldn’t help but feel as though the dream was unpleasant.
I moved my hand to her thigh, jostling her gently in an attempt to wake her before the dream had a chance to turn into an all-out nightmare.
“Ariana,” I said her name.
She woke, though it was not gentle. Her heart rate spiked, and she leaned over, nearly plummeting from the horse.
Caught off guard myself, I almost missed grabbing her.
She was practically falling before my hand captured her waist and yanked her back.
Her hands flung to my arm, holding it as if startled by my presence.
Quick breaths rattled from her. “Sorry, I’m fine,” she said, and the pressure of her shoulders lightened as she tried to lean forward, but my arm prevented her from it. “I just need a second. Will you release me?” she asked, her voice unsteady.
I slowly let her go, afraid that she may lose her stability and fall. Instead, Ariana leaned forward while keeping her balance, and I realized she was trying to touch me as little as possible.
My stomach sank at the thought that she was having a nightmare that had anything to do with me, but with the way her heart raced and her leaning away from my touch, that was the only thing it could have been.
I asked her what I already knew. “What was your nightmare of?”
Me. It was of me.