Chapter 36 Erik
ERIK
It was the day before we were scheduled to leave for the Bavadrin lands.
Time since the attack passed at an incredible rate.
I threw myself into preparing the forces here to stand against the fire conjuror.
Which meant that I attended their trainings, demonstrating and participating for as long as I physically could.
No time was left for anything else. Including my dinners with Ariana.
The Bavadrin had spent her days training with Eislyn.
Ariana’s movements changed with time, at least that was what I noted from the distant glimpses I got of her.
She became lighter on her feet, smoother in her movements.
There had always been a confidence to the way she held herself, though it now morphed into something sturdier, gaining a weight to it, an edge.
When I approached near the end of her session with Eislyn and invited Ariana for a walk, she agreed with a bright smile. Though curiosity tinged her green eyes as she joined me.
“Are you hurt?” I asked after she rolled her right shoulder for the third time, as if testing the feel of it.
“Just a little sore.” She glanced at me and stopped the motion.
I only took her far enough to find a quiet area for us to rest. I sat in a partially shaded spot, leaving a patch of grass beside me bathed in sunlight I knew she would favor.
Ariana lowered herself next to me. The woman seemed to always seek out sunlight.
She closed her eyes, tipping her head towards the warmth and drew in a deep breath.
Ariana usually remained composed around me, hardly ever letting me scent a trace of fear.
But there was often a rigidness. As if she needed to stay alert to monitor a potential threat.
Now, as she relaxed into the grass, eyes closed, heartbeat steady, I couldn’t look away.
She was the picture of peace. There was something captivating about it, about her.
“I never properly thanked you for your actions that day,” I stated, voice breaking the silence.
“You’ve had little opportunity,” she replied, peering at me through thick lashes. In the sunlight her eyes sparkled in green hues. Never had I cared to have a favorite color before. But I think the emerald of her eyes might have been it. They shone with warmth, cleverness, bravery.
I nodded, shifting to gaze to a tree branch overhead, using my arm as a makeshift pillow behind my head.
My other hand rested casually on the hilt of a blade at my hip.
Never again would I be caught without it on my body.
“Plans needed to be made to ensure nothing like that ever repeats.” I turned back to her.
“I should have sought you out sooner. I am sorry.”
Her eyes widened, lips lifting at the corners. “I get a thank you and an apology all in one day from the Lysian King? Perhaps the healer missed a spot somewhere in there, leaving something wonderfully broken.”
Her teasing pulled an easy smile from me. “I can admit when I am wrong and when I am thankful.”
“Remind me to thank the healer.” She smirked.
I chuckled, some of the tension in my shoulders easing. When had I started enjoying her company like this?
“Can you tell me about who they were?” Ariana asked, shifting the conversation.
“Distant relatives that broke away from the group a long time ago.” Moving a hand from the hilt of my blade, I picked a flower of an autumn weed and twirled it absentmindedly between my fingers. “Why didn’t you run?” It was a question I thought about far too often.
Ariana shrugged, glancing at the flower I held.
“What good would that have done me? Perhaps I could have made it home, or perhaps Lysians would have caught me, and I would be worse off than I am now.” Her gaze lifted to mine.
“If I ran, then you would have likely died. I couldn’t let you die like that, not when you protected me. ”
I would have never needed to protect her if she had been home.
The thought soured my mood. Since the day my eyes first landed on her, I always had been a threat to her, and she had always helped me.
She gave when she should have run, forgave when she had every reason to hate. Where I was danger, she was peace.
“Thank you,” I murmured, twirling the flower in my hands several more times before finally discarding it aside. Laying back, I allowed my eyes to briefly close. “Tomorrow, we begin the journey to your city again,” I commented, changing the subject.
“A couple more trips, and I’m fairly certain we could do it while sleeping,” Ariana said with a small laugh.
“Indeed. Our little group is becoming more and more efficient at it. How are things between you and Edda?”
She remained silent for a few breaths before saying, “Strained. To be honest, I don’t know why she even came back here with me after the Ascension.”
“Because she worries for you and wishes to keep close,” I answered, shifting to better view her.
Ariana stared straight ahead, though not truly focused on anything.
“Edda’s words, the way she behaved towards me .
. . they were like daggers to the heart, and now it feels like I am bleeding out.
No matter how much I try to seal the wounds, I keep getting blood all over my hands and making things worse.
I’m a bloody mess that is now letting nature take its course and do what it wishes.
I give up trying to understand Edda’s reasons for her behavior.
If she only wishes to act as an adviser to me, then that will be what it will be. ” Her eyes misted over.
An urge to sooth her slammed into me. Ashes. I wanted to protect her, to ease her pain.
I remained silent for a long moment before saying, “If I could take some of your pain away, I would.” What in Spirits name was I doing?
Ariana broke her unfocused stare and turned to me in surprise. Apparently, she was as taken aback by my declaration as I was. Her cheeks tinged with blush.
“And what would you do with a pain like that?” She asked lightly. Playfully.
I smiled. “Why, I would put it in the royal arsenal, of course.”
“Of course. Where else would it belong?” Her eyes flickered as she held my stare. Always, so boldly holding my stare.
“There’s nowhere else that could handle it.”
“You think me in such pain? Certainly, you have seen worse?” She arched a brow.
“Oh, I have seen wild and unimaginable displays of pain. However, never from someone quite as strong and bold as you. If it’s something that is enough to weigh on you, then I know it is more potent than most others.”
“That healer definitely missed something healing you,” she teased.
“You think?”
Her eyes narrowed, though the corner of her mouth threatened a smirk. “You are being too… sweet.”
“Oh, I can be sweet if I want to.”
Her gaze dropped to my lips and lingered for a heartbeat too long.
I couldn’t help but smile, slow and knowing.
Green eyes lifted back to mine, and she tensed, realizing she had been caught appraising my mouth.
Blush further colored her cheeks. Oh, how I enjoyed this.
A particular type of immeasurable tension spread between us.
Ariana averted her attention to a patch of moss on a nearby tree.
Not meeting my eye, she asked, “Do you think that we can work together freely?”
In a way, she was again asking me to release her. Was that all this was to her? An attempt at subtle seduction to get what she wanted? I couldn’t blame her for trying.
I remained silent a long while, contemplating how to best answer. The entire time she continued staring at the patch of moss.
“I want to, but my people have risked so much. I cannot release you only to have you join our enemy. My world would be torn apart if that were to happen. It is simply a risk I cannot take at this time, even if I wanted to. Perhaps we can one day.”
“You don’t trust me,” she commented, sounding discouraged.
Did she think batting eyelashes and a couple suggestive glances would turn my head so far that I would lose all control and release her?
I could not even fully trust my own kind.
Hedrek was a problem. Something she now knew of.
And the risk of trusting Bavadrins did not expose my neck alone, but the necks of my citizens.
I would not risk it. Not when there was no point to, not when I already had control.
A sigh rumbled against the back of my throat.
“Our story began with us being prisoners of one another. That does not make for a solid foundation of trust. It is no secret that I like you, Ariana. I have promised no harm would come to you or yours if not provoked. But your race is known for deception. The only way for me to truly know if you speak the truth is to set you free, and that is something that I cannot risk at this point.”
“You were never my prisoner,” she said, voice colder. “If I had been the leader at the time, and you stumbled onto my territory, you wouldn’t ever have been a prisoner.”
“You do not know that. I am a Lysian, a threat to the Bavadrins. I certainly would not have been free in your territory,” I pointed out, shifting my attention to a tree branch above.
My words were complete horse shit. In my gut I knew she would never have followed in her father’s footsteps.
My skin would have remained pristine had she been the Bavadrin leader.
Her eyes flared as she said, “But you were never truly a prisoner, were you? You found yourself exactly where you wished to be. Even the unjust punishment you received was something you desired, at least in some ways. You always had the power to leave that cell but chose to stay.”
Silence fell between us.
How could I respond when it was true. I wanted to be a Bavadrin prisoner.
But she did not desire to be mine. She wanted to go home.
“You must hate me.” My words came out so low, I wasn’t sure whether she could make them out.
She studied me a moment before answering. “I can understand the position you are in. Hate is not a word I would use to describe my feelings towards you. Perhaps frustrating would be a more appropriate term.”
I smiled, though it did not touch my eyes. “I have been called worse.”
She seemed to want to ask something else but bit her tongue. Instead, she settled on saying, “I hope you know that I do not wish your people any harm. If you believe nothing else, please believe this.” There was almost a desperation to her voice. “I do not want to hurt you or the Lysians.”
I nodded in acknowledgement but said nothing in return.
Ariana sat up looking at the dimming world around us. “I’m getting tired,” she stated, effectively ending the entire conversation.
I rose to my feet in a fluid motion and held out a hand to help.
Her touch was warm as her fingers slid over my palm.
Once standing her hand remained in mine for longer than necessary, and I held it.
Searching her eyes for answers she could not provide me with.
A sadness passed over her features before she tugged, and I released my hold.
I wanted to say something to comfort her, but nothing came to mind. So instead, I escorted her back to her beautiful prison.