2. Grayson
“Iknow I’m early, but I didn’t want to change my flights.”
My mother stood at the doorway, leather gloves on her hands that she only wore while driving, her hair perfectly styled and face put together with more than what nature had intended. She’d been hopeful that my career would’ve gone in the direction of nips and tucks, so she and her friends could’ve gotten a healthy discount. The fact I’d chosen to be an ordinary general practitioner had been somewhat of a disappointment, only slightly appeased by the fact that her son-in-law was a chief operating officer for some world wide business.
I’d given up seeking parental approval a long time ago.
Luca ran into the house, which was in a better state than I’d been worrying about. It’d been left clean and completely empty, the carpets and flooring looking of a better quality than they had in the photographs. They would do for a while; I’d like to make the place our own and replace what was there, but that would have to wait for a break of some sort, which wouldn’t be any time soon.
My five-year-old son was my biggest blessing and the only consolation from a marriage that shouldn’t have happened. My ex-wife was one of the reasons why I’d made the decision to move, wanting to put physical distance between us and her. She’d made choices that weren’t healthy for anyone, least of all our son, and the idea of a small town, where everyone knew each other, and the crime rate was minimal was ideal. The fact it was also a couple of hundred miles away from my sister was just a bonus.
“Daddy, it’s really big.” My son ran back to me, launching his arms around my waist. “We live in a big house.”
“We do. It might look a bit smaller when our furniture gets here though.” Although it would still be bigger. I’d sold my four-bedroom townhouse in an upmarket area of Bristol and bought this mortgage free, which was a good feeling. My divorce had benefitted me financially rather than Sherry, the ex-wife, and not being married to her meant I automatically had more money, given her favourite hobby was spending it.
My mother stuck her head in but didn’t enter. “Yes, it should be nice when you’ve had it decorated. Have you reached out to an interior designer yet?”
“Not really been on the list of priorities.” I wouldn’t bother telling her I wanted to decorate myself for the most of it, enjoying practical things. I liked being a doctor, but I’d really wanted to be a carpenter and work with my hands.
Unfortunately, the parental units hadn’t been fond of that idea.
“Okay – I can contact a couple of people and see if they can come this far out.” She did not look impressed.
My mother rarely looked impressed. Something else I’d gotten used to quickly. She’d been impressed with Sherry mainly because she came from money, had a trust fund and a father who fraternised with people my parents wanted to have dinner parties with. They hadn’t approved when our marriage had ended after eighteen months and Luca was just three months old, but even I’d been surprised when I’m come home early from work one day and found my wife enjoying a different sort of personal training.
“I’m sure there will be someone more local. Are you sure you can’t stay for an hour while the removal men unload?” Because having a very active kid around while big items of furniture were being unloaded sounded like an accident waiting to happen.
“No, I have to get back for my flight. Gerrard’s kindly given me a lift. Such nice parents Sherry has, lending me their chauffeur.” She patted her hair.
I cursed my life.
“How come you’ve got your driving gloves on?” I’d let the Sherry comment pass this time.
“I thought they were suitable for the airport. Anyway, make sure to send your sister a message asking after Timothy. She’s mentioned you’d not bothered to get in touch.”
I took a deep breath and pushed aside the words about how Megan hadn’t been in touch with me either, unless she wanted something. My sister was eight years younger than I was and some days it felt like she still wanted to be treated as the princess she’d been brought up to believe she was.
“It goes both ways.” The sound of a heavy vehicle echoed down the street. “That sounds like the first removal van. They’re early.”
“I’ll get out of your way then. Good luck moving in. Love you!” My mother made a sharp exit away before she felt obligated to actually help.
“That’s a big truck.” Luca stood next to me, looking at the removal van that was pulling up outside. He was tall for his age, like I’d been. Clever, funny and constantly moving, he was a mini-me apart from that he was always smiling.
“It has half of our things in it. Have you chosen a bedroom?” I scooped him up, something he still liked.
“The one with number three on the door.”
I’d labelled each of the bedrooms so he could choose. That was the one I’d predicted he’d go for. It was big and a good shape, which meant there was room for toys and his bunk beds and whatever den he was building. He was going to love living here instead of a city. Beaches, sand dunes and the sea fascinated my kid. He loved being able to run wild and free – I just needed to make sure that he didn’t get flattened by the furniture or the feet of the removal team.
“Dude, I need you to stay in one of the other rooms – number five or two while we bring all the furniture in. Do you think you can do that?” I hoped he could do that. Sherry didn’t tend to give much of a shit about Luca, but if she ever had cause to find out he’d been hurt on my watch, she’d give me hell.
He nodded. “Can I have the binocs?” It was his word for binoculars, one he couldn’t say easily yet.
“Sure. They’re in bedroom one.” The floor of which I’d slept on last night. That hadn’t bothered me; I was a bit like Luca, happier outdoors than in. This island would suit more than just him. “Take your bag up and you can use your tablet when you want.” I limited screen time usually, but today it would be my friend.
“Cool.” He grabbed the bag and legged it to the stairs.
The supervisor came to the door to discuss logistics, which furniture would go in which room, whether we could take one of the inner doors off to make it easy, which was sensible, then we started to unload.
I helped, enjoying lifting heavy things, even though it was starting to rain and the sea was looking a bit wild. I also enjoyed seeing the locals walking past and gawping at what was going on, a few whispers speculating who I was, given I was the only one not wearing the removal men’s overalls.
We’d just carried the piano in, taking it round the back of the house so it could fit through the bifold doors, when a familiar head of black hair appeared. My rescuer from yesterday was clearly here for a nosey.
“Morning, Clover.” I called her out before she could pretend she was just walking past. I was also purposefully more jolly than last night, because to be fair I’d been an ass given she was just doing a nice thing.
“Bore da.”
I knew that meant good morning. Despite being Welsh through my dad, and growing up in South Wales, I didn’t speak the language. It was North Wales that spoke Welsh before anything else. Clover would’ve picked that up from yesterday as my accent was easily identifiable.
She walked down the drive to meet me, her curly hair blowing about in the wind. “Have you sorted your car out? Aron said you hadn’t been in touch.”
“I haven’t had time.” Which was true. The car could stay there for another day – I could walk to the doctor’s surgery tomorrow and I could do without a supermarket shop for a few days. Getting my car wasn’t a priority.
“Okay. There’s a storm heading in with high winds forecast, which means they’ll close the bridge – that could be for a couple of days, so if you give me your keys, I’ll help Aron to bring it over here.” She held out her hand for the keys.
I frowned. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?” She sounded stroppy. “Because if we don’t get your car now, you’ll be without it for a couple of days.”
“But why are you offering to help?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I know where your car is. You’re clearly busy. I’m not busy in the slightest so it gives me something to do and I’m being nice to the new boy in my town.” Her hands landed on her hips, curvy hips that matched the curves in other places I’d noticed yesterday.
“New boy?” I put her somewhere in her late twenties. I was forty next birthday, something I was pretending wasn’t happening.
“Yes. Boy. Men have more manners.”
That silenced me. She was right. If Luca spoke to someone or behaved like I had last night, I’d have been disappointed. Possibly outraged.
“Thank you for the offer. Are you sure it’s no trouble?” The change in demeanour could put me at risk for a diagnosis of personality disorder, it was that rapid.
“No trouble. I’m not going to steal your car, so don’t worry about that. What’s your phone number?” She took her mobile out of the large bag on her shoulder.
“Why?”
“So I can contact you if needs be and Aron can call you later and tell you what the problem is.” She presented her phone to me. “I’m not intending on stalking you or sending you texts late at night declaring my undying love, so no worries there.”
I took the phone and entered my number, calling it so I had hers, just in case she did steal my car, although I doubted it was worth it. It’d need repairing before it’d go anywhere which wasn’t top on a car thief’s list of features.
“That’s a disappointment. I was really hoping for those words of everlasting love.” I gave her phone back to her and dug in my pocket for my car key. “Thank you though. I am grateful.”
She gave a little nod. “It’s what we do around here. We’re nice to each other.”
I couldn’t lie, I watched her backside sway as she walked off.
Three hours later and my furniture was unloaded. Bags and cases were in the right rooms, and I’d made up both mine and Luca’s beds so we could sleep in them tonight, although I was pretty sure Luca would end up in with me. It was early afternoon and the storm Clover had promised was setting in, the winds picking up and making me view a tree in the garden with suspicion.
“Ready to get some food, dude?” Luca was still alive. No wardrobe, piano or chest of drawers had squashed him. He’d spent the last half an hour obsessed with the view of the sea and the lights of the boats on the waves.
He exploded out of my bedroom which had the better outlook of the sea. “I’m straving.”
“You mean starving. And you’re not starving. Unless grandma refused to feed you?” I watched his expression which would give everything away, including the amount of sugar and crisps.
“She made me pancakes for breakfast.”
“Made you or bought you?” There was no way my mother had made pancakes, not unless she’d been abducted by aliens and replaced by someone who knew how to turn on a stove.
“Bought. But I’m hungry now. Where are we going?” He was shifting from foot to foot, desperate to move.
If it hadn’t been wet and wild out there, and not in the way my teenage self-dreamed, I’d have taken him to the beach to run around and burn off the energy.
“The local pub. It does good food.” I’d spent last night finding out a bit more about my new hometown. For a small place there was a lot going on.
“What like?” Luca was definitely hungry.
I listed some of the things on the menu. I’d learned not to bother with the kids dishes. I could easily go through two adult meals – I was by no means a small man – so if I got two adult meals, one for me and one for Luca, his leftovers topped up my main.
“Lasagne. Or fish and chips.” He grabbed his coat and put it on, struggling with the zip.
I bent down and pulled it up for him, talking him through how to line it up properly and then undoing it so he could practice. I had to be independent as a kid because my mother was not especially hands on. I wasn’t my mother, but I wanted Luca to be able to manage himself.
“Lasagne and fish and chips sound magnificent so we’ll get both. Trainers on and let’s go.”
I locked up, surprised that I still hadn’t heard from Clover about my car, not entirely bothered if I didn’t at this point. I had a long list of other things that were more of a bother, like how I was going to manage tomorrow when I had no one I could leave Luca with.
I pushed those concerns away and enjoyed the wet and wild walk, the rhythmic flash of the lighthouse at the head of the bay and the lifeboat station that Luca kept looking at. Rain flashed down on us, the sound of water everywhere, from the rain to the sea and the tributary into the sea.
The pub was well lit, which didn’t surprise me. I was used to trendy bars and gastro pubs rather than community locals, but I still knew how to recognise one.
The car park was empty at the side of it, puddles overflowing into a small, rapid river that ran down the hill towards the sea front.
“This is the Puffin Inn.” I pointed at the sign for Luca. “If there’s ever an emergency and you can’t find me, or something’s happened to me, you can come here for help.” It was a five minute walk and he didn’t need to cross a road.
“Okay.” He nodded seriously. “Come here. Do you think they’ll have ketchup for the chips?”
I loved how my son had a good grasp of the important things.
“Pretty certain about that.” I pushed the door open and found it full, the smell of food and beer and open fires hitting me in a really good way.
My ex-wife would’ve hated this.
I fucking loved it.
Those black curls swung round. Clover was sitting at the bar, holding a cup of probably tea or coffee in one hand and a book in the other.
She gave me a smile that I didn’t deserve, put the tea and book on the bar and slipped off the stool. She was wearing tight blue jeans and a sweater that wasn’t going to do me any favours.
“She’s pretty, dad.” Luca looked up at me.
I was dreading him being a teenager. Surely five-year-olds weren’t meant to notice things like that.
She headed towards us, then offered a hand to Luca. “I’m Clover, and I think you’ve just moved in with your dad. Is that right?”
He took her hand and shook it. “I’m Luca and my dad’s the new doctor here.”
She smiled at him, a small dimple showing up. “It’s good to meet you, Luca. Are you having something to eat here?” Her expression was interested and kind, and I warmed to her just for showing an interest in my son and bringing him into the conversation.
He nodded, still very serious. “We’re having lasagne and fish and chips and ketchup. Is there ketchup?”
“There’s definitely ketchup. Why don’t you go and grab that table there near the window.” She pointed at a free seat, the people who’d been there in the process of putting their coats on.
Luca looked up at me for permission. I nodded.
“I thought you might come in here this afternoon. If you didn’t, I was going to knock on my way back to give an update on your car.” She picked up her cup. It was definitely tea. “It’s got a broken piston and will be fixed by Friday. Aron’s ordered the part, which is the delay, but once it’s in, it should be an easy fix.”
“Thank you.” It was the least I could say. She didn’t need to be so kind to a stranger who’d been outright rude to her. “Are you drinking tea and reading a book at the bar?” I glanced at the book which was open, pages face down on the bar.
Clover nodded. “I am. Why? Is that a problem for you?”
“No. It’s just – different.”
“I am different. Also, if I had an alcoholic drink every time I came in here, you’d be treating me for liver failure.” She shot me a smile. “Your son’s making friends already.”
I looked over at Luca. Two little girls were sitting with him. “Who are they?”
“Heidi and Mia. They’re both at the local primary school and enjoying their half term holiday. Is that where Luca’s going, or is he going to the private school?”
She was definitely nosey.
“The local school. He’ll have to learn Welsh, but that won’t do him any harm.” My granddad had spoken Welsh, as had my grandmother. I wanted Luca to know something of the language, just for fun if nothing else.
“It’s a good school and those two are good kids. I guess they’re a couple of years older than Luca.”
Which wasn’t putting my son off talking to them. His social skills were definitely better than mine.
“Have you always lived around here?”
The curls bounced again as she nodded. “Never left. My parents moved away separately when I was fifteen, but I stayed. I love it here. All of the seasons and all of the people, even though they can be irritating sometimes.” She lifted her cup to a crinkly woman who’d come to the bar. “And how are you, Mavis? The weather in your bones yet?”
Mavis stared at her then me.
“You finally got yourself a fancy man then, Clover Carew? About time. A girl with those looks shouldn’t be left on the shelf.” Mavis looked her up and down and then cast her eyes over at me.
I saw Clover turn red and I felt fucking irritated on her behalf. Who said on the shelf anymore, or judged a woman’s worth by whether or not she had a partner?
“Actually, I’ve just moved in. Doctor Wynne. I’m taking over the practice from Graeme Sharples.” I offered my hand to Mavis, who took it, looking a little embarrassed.
“Good to meet you. Now, I need to find a spot by the fire.” She pulled her hand away and strutted off, using her walking stick as a dangerous weapon instead of for balance.
I glanced at Luca. He was still talking with the two girls. A woman who resembled one of the girls was watching them. She glanced up at me and gave a thumbs up.
Relief settled in me.
Then panic.
“Sorry, you said it was half term?” I had on my list for tomorrow morning to call in at the school and see if Luca could start earlier.
“Yes, for this week. It’s fallen later this year and it’s two weeks so the school could have a new boiler installed. The old one’s been in there for about thirty years.” She climbed back on her stool.
“Shit.” I rubbed at my face. “Listen, do you know - ”
I was interrupted by the bar staff. “Hello, can I get you anything?”
I ordered the food, a pint of IPA for me and a cola for Luca, pointing to the table where Luca was now playing snakes and ladders with his two new friends. “And a drink for Clover.” I hoped she’d accept it. “I probably owe you a lot more than that.”
She shrugged. “I don’t do things for payback, but I’ll have another cup of tea, please.”
The bartender nodded and said something in Welsh to Clover, who commented back with words rapid enough for me think they were in Swahili.
“Do you know of anyone who nannies in the area? Or anyway I can find a live-in nanny at short notice? My mother – you heard in the car – was meant to stay with us while I found someone, probably through an agency, and, yeah. Well.” The pint of IPA was placed in front of me. It looked like heaven.
“Didn’t you have someone booked in before you moved here? I would’ve thought that would’ve been sensible.” She frowned at me, probably curious why the new doctor couldn’t organise his life.
“I did. They pulled out of the job last week because their mother had just been diagnosed with COPD and needed care at home setting up. The agency will be able to find me someone else,” although I was sounding more confident than I actually was. Not many people wanted to live on an island far away from the nearest shopping mall, no matter what the perks were and the pay. “But I don’t know how long it will take. I don’t want to have to bring Luca to work with me before and after school and I’m a bit screwed for this week.”
“I’ll ask around. One of the other parents might be able to help. The school has a breakfast club and an after-school provision, but that finishes at six. There are a couple of local child minders who might be able to help too. Would that work instead of a nanny?” She toyed with the pages of the book.
“I’ll have some night-time on-call shifts as part of the practice, so I need someone who can step in at short notice. Luca had an au pair when we were in Bristol, but he didn’t want to move with us.” Which had been predictable. Antoine had started a new relationship and was doing a course at the local college – he wasn’t going to leave that just to come with us.
The joys of being a single parent.
“What about Luca’s mam? Is she moving here?”
I laughed. Then laughed again. “No. There aren’t enough twenty-one year old personal trainers for her to work her way through.”
I saw her try to hide her smile, failing miserably. “Really? That’s what she did?”
“We split years ago. Luca doesn’t see much of her, but he was at the same school as her latest fiancé’s children, so he was seeing his mother collecting them and not him. It wasn’t the easiest thing to manage.” That was only the surface of it. “I’m sorry. I’m dumping all my shit on you.”
She shrugged. “It’s nice to hear about someone else’s.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
She waved her hand away. “It isn’t interesting and I’m due to play cribbage with the crew over there.” She pointed over at a group of women who were sitting around three tables, gesturing over to them. “I’ll let you know about help with childcare.”
I went over to Luca and his two new friends, introducing myself to the adults with them, finding that Heidi’s stepfather was the primary school’s head teacher. Luca was in his element, talking himself into a play date on Saturday with Heidi and Mia, who lived with Heidi it seemed. He wasn’t a shy kid, and he was easy going. I was lucky.
Food arrived and Heidi’s parents bundled the girls away, leaving us to eat together. Luca gave me his version of who everyone was, including Mavis who Heidi had told him to pretend he was scared of because then Mavis would give out sweets.
I half listened, happy that he was happy, happy with the food and the beer, and hoping, just hoping that something miraculous would happen.
A knock on my front door, which took me a couple of minutes to realise what it was as it was a new sound, disturbed me from setting up the TV just after nine. The storm had blown itself out, but I was still surprised that anyone was about given how dark it was outside.
A woman in a big black mac with a hat on stood in my doorway. Black curls peeking out of the hat gave away exactly who it was.
“Clover?”
She pushed her way inside.
“Feel free to come in,” I said to her back, closing the door behind her.
“I have a solution.” She pulled down the zipper of her coat and hung it up, knowing exactly where the pegs were. Then she walked into the lounge.
“You know this house?”
She nodded. “I had a best friend who lived here when we were kids. But I have a solution for your nanny problem.”
“Okay.” I held my breath.
“Me.”
I sat down on the sofa. Clover was not sane. She was obsessed with horror films, possibly slightly paranoid and had no stranger danger. Her driving skills were questionable and I had no idea what she actually did for a living.
“You?”
“Me.”
“I need someone to live in. Don’t you live here already?”
She looked at unpacked boxes. “I do, but I have to move out. My landlady’s grandson’s moving in with her so I need somewhere to live. I also got made redundant – I was driving back from London when I saw you on the bridge. They made me go to London so they could tell me I no longer had a job.”
Crap. I’d not exactly been Mr Pleasant.
“What did you do? Or still do.”
“I’m an editor. Books. I’ve worked for the same publishing house since I graduated. Most of it’s done remotely but the publishing house – it was only small – was bought out by one of the big companies and, well, my services are no longer required. So I get a really good severance, but no job and I have a few decisions to make. I need a job and somewhere to live while I make those decisions.”
She looked crestfallen, like someone had really given her a good kicking.
I heard sob stories every day. A lot of my patients would come in with tales of woe, although I wasn’t a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. I could be sympathetic, which I was, and I could signpost, but personally I struggled when I couldn’t fix things.
Clover’s sob story wasn’t one I could fix.
“Are you going to leave the island?” I’d known her twenty-four hours, but I could already tell that this was the only place she wanted to be.
“No.” She shook her head, damp curls bouncing. “No. I might start my own editing business and freelance, or see if I get another editing job where I don’t need to be in London for more than twice a month, but I won’t leave the island. This is home.” She forced herself to relax, making her shoulders drop.
“Have you worked with children before?” Standard nanny interview question. The agency sent me a pack of them.
“No. Not worked, but I’ve babysat, sometimes looked after children for a week at a time. I had Mia and Heidi for a week in the summer so Cassian and Romy could go away together without children. I look after Fleur’s twins too when she needs childcare during the day.” A list of more children she looked after came. I had no idea who these people were.
“Can you get me three references and come back with them tomorrow? Bring them to the surgery?” I should have a police check done too – in case of a criminal record or if she had a penchant for pinching people’s jewellery or something.
She nodded, enthusiastically. “You can get a reference off your practice nurse, Melissa. I look after her daughter once a month when Mel meets her friends overnight in Chester.” She paused, breathed. “Don’t you need someone for tomorrow morning?”
I thought about Luca, leaving him with someone he’d met once. That wouldn’t be fair. “Yes, but I think Luca will have to come to work tomorrow. He needs to meet you again.” I saw her face light up. “If you get the job.”
“If I get the job.” She looked around the room. Boxes were everywhere and probably would be for the next few weeks. “Do you want me to help you unpack?”
“I just want to get the TV working and then I can fall asleep in front of it for a bit but thank you.” I was exhausted.
That exhaustion was almost wiped out by the squeak of the door into the living room being opened.
Luca stood there, in pyjamas that were too short for him, but they were his favourite, clutching the toy rabbit that was always his go to.
“Daddy, I woke up and didn’t know where I was.” He ran over to me, launching himself into my arms.
“You’re in your new home. Clover’s come to see how the unpacking’s going.” I watched him look at her with big eyes.
He sat up a little straighter. “Mia and Heidi said you were the best at making up games.”
“I most definitely am. My favourites are ones where we build dens and pretend we’re on a desert island.” She leaned forward, all witchy eyes and smiles now, as she enchanted my son.
“They’re my favourite too. Have you played crocodiles?” And so began an explanation involving cushions and clothes as stepping stones on the floor, a game which usually involved the house looking like someone had ransacked it afterwards.
It was a game Clover was familiar with. I put Luca on the sofa, leaving them talking and got on with setting up the TV. Satellite was already set up, so I’d at least be able to watch something mind numbing before I went to bed.
I listened to them talking about games and books and beaches, some of my curiosity about Clover resolving.
She could do the job and help out with Luca. I had the space for her to move in, and even if she picked up freelance editing work, that could be done while he was at school. If she was a notorious thief or involved in a weird cult, I was pretty sure I’d find out by midday tomorrow.
There was one problem though.
It was definitely a bad idea to employ a nanny whose hair I kept imagining wrapped around my fist at the same time as her legs were wrapped around my waist.
That surely broke some ethical convention.