3. Clover
It took me three changes of outfit before I was happy with what I was wearing to go and see Grayson. What I wore generally didn’t take up more than nought point nought nought six of my brain on any given day, but today I was more conscious than I’d ever been of how I looked.
How did a nanny look?
Mary Poppins had an umbrella, but today it wasn’t raining. She wore hats, which didn’t suit me, and she definitely didn’t have black curly hair that was wild at the best of times. There were other nannies, none of which I vaguely resembled, so I had to hope that Grayson wouldn’t judge me on first impressions and Mel sung my praises.
I got to the surgery at nine am, early for me as my job – previous job – meant I could keep my own hours. Some days, especially in summer, I was up and about with the boats. There wasn’t much better than a walk along the beach when the fishing boats were heading out, the early morning sun hazy and pale, and the tourists and campers still sleeping. But in winter, I liked my bed.
A bed I wouldn’t be sleeping in for much longer, or at least I hoped.
Last night had been uncomfortable at Mrs Bettany’s to say the least. I’d gotten home to find Owain half naked on the sofa, his legs falling off it and his eyes visibly swollen. Moonshine was a furry beast, one that Owain was not going to get along with, no matter how many antihistamines he took and possibly overdosed on. Moonshine had been locked in the kitchen and wasn’t too happy about it. He was used to having free run of the house and garden but given Owain’s allergy towards him and Moonshine’s propensity to want to be fussed, sat on and stroked by the person who liked him least, he’d been imprisoned.
At least he hadn’t been locked out. My fluffy boy did not like the rain and was liable to yowl loudly when he couldn’t get inside.
I froze at the reception.
What if Grayson didn’t like cats? What if he was allergic?
I couldn’t be separated from Moonshine.
Panic started to set in, the sort of panic that induces cold sweats and hyperventilating.
“Clover, are you okay?” The voice was deep and didn’t help.
More panic. More heavy breathing.
“I think she’s having a nervous moment. First interview since, well, her first job.” That was Mel. Mel sat down next to me, reassuring me, instructing me on how to breathe and recounting events from our last year at school including when I’d ended up on the roof to rescue an escaped gerbil.
Long story.
Short version – I liked animals.
Somehow, I found the momentum to walk into one of the treatment rooms, Mel giving me a reassuring pat on my shoulder.
I looked up into Grayson’s blue eyes.
They were curious. Worried maybe.
Possibly full of wonder at whether someone in this state was here for an interview.
I hadn’t had an interview for seven years. Or was it eight?
“Clover, are you nervous?”
I nodded.
“If it helps, I’m probably going to offer you the job. Your references are excellent – I’ve had five parents here this morning to give me glowing reports about how good you are with their kids. No one has told me that you have a propensity to steal people”s jewellery or you lead a cult in your spare time.” He sounded like he was in doctor mode. Almost.
It helped.
I gulped and started coughing, but at least I wasn’t panicking any more.
Grayson passed me a glass of water, offered me a tissue. I blew my nose – not the most ladylike of sounds – and pulled myself together.
“I have to tell you something.” My heart started to race again.
“Oh. Are you the murderer with the axe?” He squinted.
I couldn’t tell if he was serious or joking.
“No.” I went with serious. “I’ve never murdered anyone. Not yet. I’m not sure I could. I’d be too scared of the consequences and I don’t think I could keep anything like that to myself.”
“Good to know.” He gave me a very serious nod back.
“But my housemate is.”
He sat back. “You know I have a duty to report on safeguarding concerns - ”
I nodded. Maybe too enthusiastically. “My housemate commits murder on a regular basis. I’ve known him to bring back five bodies in a night - ”
“Is this Mrs Bet-something’s son? Are you telling me he’s - ”
“No, no, no!” I interrupted him. Started to laugh, rather manically. “No! Owain’s really kind and no, sorry. I have a cat. He’s the murderer. The cat. Moonshine.” My hands were in full movement mode, wafting everywhere.
I sounded, and most likely looked, hysterical.
I wouldn’t trust me with a child right now, not if I was of sane mind.
“You have a pet cat that needs to move with you?” Grayson said the words slowly.
I nodded. “I can’t leave him with Mrs Bettany and Owain. Owain’s allergic.”
“Very allergic?”
I nodded, wondering whether Owain had come in to the emergency surgery. “Very. And Moonshine isn’t your normal cat. He has a lot of fur.” He’d also been mistaken for a big cat, as in photos of him on the prowl had hit social media with a hashtag about black lions on Anglesey.
“Cats generally do. Is that what you were panicking about? Not being able to keep Moonshine with you?”
By the way he was talking, he really did think I’d taken a bite out of the crazy cake this morning.
“Yes. I’ve had him since he was a kitten. I found him abandoned by the side of a road. He was tiny, so tiny I had to hand feed him.” I’d clearly done a very good job. “I can’t rehome him.” Although I knew in my more sensible moments that Thane and Fleur would take him in temporarily. Both of them volunteered at the local rescue centre and Thane was a cat fosterer.
Grayson put his head in his hands.
“You need a job and a place to live for you and your cat. I need someone to look after Luca. This morning wasn’t great.” He grimaced. “Luca was exhausted and when he’s exhausted he’s hard work.”
“Most kids are and he’s had a big change. That’s hard.” Said by the person who avoided change as much as she could.
He nodded. “Luca’s been through a lot with his mum. I’ll tell you more later but I need you to keep it to yourself.”
“On Moonshine’s extra toe, I will not say a word.” I knew I loved to gossip but when specifically instructed I would purposely forget a secret.
Grayson raised his brows. “Moonshine’s extra toe?”
“He’s polydactyl. I think that’s why he was abandoned. The breeder wouldn’t have been able to sell him.” It still broke my heart.
“How old’s Moonshine?”
“Two and a half. I think he’s got another couple of years of growing left.” Which was a scary thought.
“Aren’t cats fully grown at two?” Grayson looked really puzzled.
I shrugged. “It depends on the breed. Are you or Luca allergic?” I didn’t want to linger on what sort of cat Moonshine was. The least said about his actual size, the better right now.
“No. Luca likes animals. I don’t mind them. Is he house trained?”
“He uses a toilet.”
Grayson stood up. “Clover, I haven’t checked your medical records because I’ve no reason to, but - ”
“No, I’m not on any medication. I saw a video on the internet about training a cat to use the toilet and I gave it a go with Moonshine. He can’t flush, but he will use a toilet. Better than some adults. He has a litter tray as well and he’s fastidiously clean, just a lot of fur.” It’d taken me three weeks, which I was sure was a world record for toilet training a cat.
“Okay.” He shook his head. “I have a meeting with one of the other partners in a few minutes, but based on your references and that I’m short of options, how about a six-month initial contract with you living in and helping me look after Luca? We can discuss time off later – if I have concerns about your ability to look after my son, I’ll let you stay living at the house as long as your conduct is impeccable with due notice.”
“And Moonshine?”
He nodded, looking very stern and rather stressed. “And Moonshine. I suspect he’ll be the less demanding issue.”
I felt relief saturate me. “Thank you. Can I just check – you haven’t ever murdered anyone either?”
“You’re good. I took an oath to do no harm – I’m trying to stick to that. When do you want to move in?” He stood up and washed his hands, which I figured was habit.
“Today? Then I can help you unpack tomorrow and look after Luca. I’m sure he’ll adore Moonshine.” It was impossible not to – unless you were Owain and couldn’t actually see right now. “Do you want me to look after Luca now?”
“I need to tell him first and I have this afternoon off.” He looked a little more relaxed. “How about you come over at five with some of your things and we can have an evening unpacking session?”
“Are you sure?” Grayson must’ve been either deluded or desperate for offering me the job.
“Your references were amazing. Maybe you need to hear this, but the people here love you, Clover. They couldn’t say enough good things about you. Including Mavis. Besides, if I hadn’t have offered you the job, I think I would’ve been hounded out of the town.”
“Oh.” I’d only mentioned my situation to three people, but one of those had been Gulliver Holland who had a habit of stirring things up in the best possible ways. “That’s nice.”
He nodded. “I need to get to that meeting. I’ll see you at five.”
“Thank you.” I had a solution. “I promise I won’t let you or Luca down.”
“Or Moonshine.” There was almost a smile.
“Never Moonshine.”
He gave a single nod this time, and then left the room.
Mel came straight in.
“So? Did you get it? After you messaged me last night about your stupid new boss and Owain coming home I put a message on the parents’ group.” She sat down next to me on the medical bed. “There was a queue here at half past eight this morning and the new doctor was bombarded.” She nudged my ribs with her elbow. “Got to say, he’s easy on the eyes. I may end up with a lust-crush on my new boss.”
I laughed, still mortified about how much of a crazy cat lady I must’ve sounded. “He must be desperate if he’s hiring me. I mean, I’ve hardly appeared sane.”
Mel gave me a hug with one arm. “Clo, you’re great with kids. You’re great with everyone. You might not be the dictionary definition of normal, but who wants normal? Normal’s boring. And he knows about your mountain lion?”
“He thinks he knows about Moonshine.” Because no one really knew about Moonshine until they saw him and realised they weren’t hallucinating. “He might throw us both out when he sees him stroll in the house.”
“Has he gotten any bigger in the last week?”
“I think so. He hasn’t had his weekly weigh-in. It’s been a tough few days.” That was putting it mildly. “And I’m moving in with a stranger and have a new career.”
“Temporary. While you decide what to do. And you have a ton of places you can stay, Clover. You can move in with me and Kenny and Ronnie if you need to. You’ll never have to leave Puffin Bay.”
Which was my biggest fear. I’d managed to stay as a fifteen-year-old – it wouldn’t change when I was almost thirty.
“I can look to rent somewhere as soon as I have a guaranteed income. I just need to work out how to get that guaranteed income.” Preferably doing something I enjoyed. Something creative or helping someone to be creative. I was a really good editor, great at working with writers who were stuck or needed help developing their plot or characters. Or often both, and we had names for those writers.
Mel stood up. “You will. You’ve never not succeeded, Clover Carew. Despite having to be the adult in your parents’ relationship, you’ve done pretty well. Dr Wynne seems decent too. You’re doing each other a favour.” She fanned herself with her hand. “And he’s hot.”
“You’re married.” I eyed her.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes and I can’t window shop. You must’ve noticed he could be a model. Or a gladiator.” She looked at the door as if he were standing there.
“He’s easy on the eyes.” I had noticed that. That was what made me consider the serial killer angle – Ted Bundy was also very attractive.
Mel smiled at me. “Maybe you could have found a place to live, a new job and a boyfriend all in one day.”
I looked away, embarrassed. “I don’t think I’m Dr Wynne’s type. I annoy him. I bet he was really annoyed this morning if he had a queue of people to see because of me.”
“You’re in Puffin Bay, Clover. You’re like Mavis, but in a really pretty, young and not irritating way. When the patients waiting heard what everyone was there for, they added character references too.” Mel checked her watch. She’d need to get back to work and I was getting in the way.
“So Dr Wynne was bullied into hiring me?”
“No. He was amused. I think he’d already made his mind up – he just needed to be sure he wasn’t employing a psychopath. I’ve got to get back to work – I have blood tests to do and an asthma check in. Call by tomorrow with that gorgeous little boy so he can see his daddy.”
I gave her a quick hug and several thank yous, then disappeared out of the surgery without seeing my new employer.
The rain had stayed away after a night of everlasting drizzle. The tide was in, so there’d be no walk on the beach and I didn’t have much to rush for. I would need to pack a few things up, but I didn’t have much in the way of belongings, even though I’d lived for three years with Mrs Bettany. I could easily put everything in my car and still have space for a second Moonshine.
A second Moonshine was a terrifying thought.
I headed over to Mrs Bettany’s, wanting to give Owain the good news that he’d be able to sleep in a proper bed tonight, without the fear of being unable to open his eyes in the morning.
She was in the kitchen, directing Owain with where to put the pots. Everything was precise and tidy in Mrs Bettany’s house. I hoped for Owain’s sake he was like that too, else he was going to end up feeling like a school child.
“Clover! I was wondering where you were after leaving so early. Do you want some tea and barra brith?” Mrs Bettany made her own barra brith, a Welsh fruit cake made with tea. It was delicious and I would have to come here often to get my fix.
“Yes, please.” I fell into Welsh.
My parents hadn’t spoken Welsh. They’d moved to Anglesey because of my dad’s job, although they were both from Wales and had lived in mid-Wales as children. I’d learned it at school and loved the language. I’d also liked how my parents couldn’t understand it, but was irritated how they’d never tried to learn it. Choosing to lodge with Mrs Bettany had been partly because her first language was Welsh and we’d converse it that. Given that most of my friends didn’t speak it, it made me stay fluent.
“What have you been up to this morning?” Mrs Bettany asked, turning on the kettle and taking out the barra brith, which was definitely freshly made.
My heart rate crept up a little. I knew I needed to move out, and to be fair to Mrs Bettany, she’d told me about Owain’s plans months ago. She also knew I had plenty of friends I could stay with, I’d just chosen to stay with her, which she’d sometimes said she didn’t really understand.
“I’ve been for a job interview. It’s as a live-in nanny with the new doctor.” I waited for her to digest that news.
Tea was placed on a mat in front of me. A plateful of barra brith, coated with rich salted butter, put next to it.
“I heard about that. I think I left the surgery just before everyone got there.” Owain looked at me with eyes that weren’t as swollen and red as earlier. “I saw the new doctor. Seems alright.” He was speaking Welsh too, although it wasn’t as fluent.
I looked round the kitchen, taking it in. I’d liked living here. It had been peaceful and easy. “He seems okay and his little boy’s sweet. He needs someone to start straight away so I’m moving in this evening.” I looked at Owain who’d frozen, a look of concern there.
He shook his head. “You don’t need to move out straight away, Clover. I’m back earlier than I said and I’m okay on the sofa.”
“You’re really not and even if you’d come back on time, I’d have still been here, putting off the inevitable. Don’t worry about it. I have somewhere to go and I need to make some grown-up decisions at some point.” If only my body would behave like a grown-up”s and stop this silly panicking thing.
Mrs Bettany sat down at the seat next to me, putting her hand on top of mine and giving it a squeeze. “You’re staying in Puffin Bay. You have a job – even if it’s not what you’d have chosen. You have somewhere to stay while you make bigger decisions and you still have all of us. You’re a resilient girl, Clover Carew. You will use this to move to the path where you’re meant to be, you’ll see.”
I swallowed, feeling less uptight and tense. “I think you’re right. Moonshine’s coming with me too; Dr Wynne was okay with that.”
“Very good. Now eat, drink your tea, and I’ll supervise Owain to help you pack if that’s what you want. The more we sit around maudlin about change, the worse it’ll feel. Keep moving and you won’t freeze.” She squeezed my hand again, which distracted me from the fact that I’d never seen Mrs Bettany move quickly anywhere. Her speed was equal to a retreating glacier moving forward.
I ate, drank my tea and had a second cup because Mrs Bettany wanted all the details about the new doctor, and then I went to pack, Moonshine sitting on the bed watching me with an air of distaste and occasionally swishing his black tail. I packed up two suitcases of clothes and a few bags of toiletries, plus a couple of boxes with little possessions I had kept hold of.
There was the problem of the books which were lining the once empty bookcases that were built into the walls of the attic, but that, we assessed, wasn’t a today problem. I could pick those up another time, even if that other time was in a few months when I was moving somewhere permanent.
We loaded my car with everything apart from Moonshine, who’d decided to stay in the attic looking judgy, which meant he was unhappy with the apparent changes and was also giving Owain the evil eye as he’d been shooed away every time he tried to get close to him.
“Do you mind if I have a little time upstairs?” I asked Mrs Bettany when we’d finished loading the car with everything I was taking for now. “Just to get myself together?”
“Take as much time as you need. I’m going to make a pie and some more barra brith for you to take with you.” She busied herself at her favourite speed having sent Owain out to the shops to stock up – probably making him pay too.
I headed up to the attic, a room too small to put a bed, but great as a little library. Moonshine greeted me with headbutts and purrs, eventually sitting next to me and stretching out with a paw on my leg when I sat down on the carpet that had probably been in that room for at least thirty years.
My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans, a reminder I hadn’t checked it once for the last few hours. There seemed no point. There was no boss to check up on my progress or boyfriend to check how I was, and while I had friends who’d no doubt already heard the story because people here talked, I was in no rush to give a million explanations or correct the assumption that I was moving in with the new doctor because we’d been having a secret distance love affair and he was finally here to make an honest woman of me.
Moonshine made his way so more of him was on my knee. We thought he was a Maine Coone, but his size was concerningly big even for that breed, so there was a suspicion of some sort of big cat gene that had appeared from a gazillion years ago. I’d had him checked by a heart specialist to make sure there was nothing that would shorten his life expectancy, especially given his first few days of life, and it turned out he was as fit as a flea in spring.
He chirruped and pushed his head against me, a move he meant to be affectionate but could actually be unbalancing.
Then I looked at my phone.
I had messages from Fleur and Amelie, both asking if what they’d heard was true. There was another from Freya, who’d recently moved to the town and had quickly become a friend, and even one from Mavis – that could be ignored.
What I responded to first was a call from Gully, one of my friends and a crime writer. I’d crushed on him when he’d first moved here, and he’d tolerated it well, but we’d had no chemistry and if I was honest, I hadn’t wanted there to be. I had no idea what I wanted in a relationship or a possible partner, which I knew was related to having front row seats to my parents’ dysfunctional marriage.
I had edited Gully’s last couple of books, although he didn’t have a contract with my old publishing house. He did, however, have the clout to name who he wanted his developmental editor to be, which had been me.
I called him back and he picked up on the third ring.
“Clo-clo. What’s happening? Who do I need to beat up?”
Moonshine miaowed at the sound of Gully’s voice. He was also a Gully fan and enjoyed listening to paragraphs read aloud from his books.
“The new chief editor who’s decided I’m surplus to requirements. I am now jobless. Well, not really because I have a tide-me-over job.” I gave him the headlines.
He listened before dropping a bombshell. “I know Grizelda Barron and I suspect she’s replaced you with her sister who thinks she’s an editor but has never understood what a subplot is. You’re better off away from her and start your own thing. Be your own boss.”
Those were the words I needed to hear.
“I can let a few people know you have availability. Get Roe to sort you out with a website.” Roe was his identical twin brother who also lived on the island. “If you’re looking after the doctor’s son, you’ll have the daytime to work.”
“This is all true. I’m not sure if I want to work for myself though.” I liked structure and having a boss to check in with worked for me. Although a writer could also be kind of a boss. In fact they were often slightly unhinged, rather chaotic small dictator-type bosses.
“See how it goes. You have time to work things out. But, not going to lie, Clo-clo, I am slightly concerned that you’re moving in with a stranger. Shall I come and help you move in so I can read him the riot act? You know, talk about not taking advantage of your virtue and innocence and all that?”
I laughed, wishing Gully wasn’t so close to the truth.
“I’m a convenient hire until he sorts something more permanent out. I’m also a necessary-for-now annoyance.” I told him the story of how I met him, which made Gully laugh, a sound I treasured after the events of last year when a close friend of his had died.
“It sounds like it could work,” Gully said. “I’ll come round with you though. Just in case.”
“Just in case what? He isn’t going to bury me under the patio.”
“Clo, you really need to move on from this obsession with true crime and horror.”
“Which is ironic, given you’re the murder mystery writer.” And I had read every one of his books at least three times. I hadn’t told him that yet, although I knew there were more obsessive fans than me. One of them had part of a chapter tattooed on her back, which was rather freakishly strange. “The worst case scenario is that I really get on his nerves, or I can’t stand living there and I have to find somewhere else at short notice.”
“You can move into the lighthouse. Moonshine wouldn’t be able to go out as much, but it’s a back-up plan.”
I was never moving in with Gully. That wasn’t happening. I’d spent too much time fangirling in the past to be cool with something like that.
“Thank you. I know I’ll be okay. I just need to decide what to do with my life.” Which basically summed it all up.
“Come to Italy with me. I have two weeks there in March or something where I have to tour and sign books. You could edit from there and you’ve said before you want to go to Italy. I can pay for your expenses if you’re editing my next book at the time.” He sounded genuine.
He was also right. I’d always wanted to go to Italy.
“What about Moonshine?” I was a cat parent. I had to consider his wellbeing above my own.
“Thane. Or Ruby and Finn can look after him. He’d be okay.” He paused for a moment. “Think about it. It gives you something to look forward to and if you decide to take up another job with a different publishing house, you have a date to work towards. That’s when you have to have your life sorted by.”
“I think I like that plan. Okay. You need to time your deadlines so I’m working on that book to justify it, but if you can do that, I’m in.” It was good to make a decision and I knew Moonshine would be okay with Thane or Finn. Thane had his own cats that Moonshine liked, and Finn had a dog that was terrified of Moonshine, which Moonshine found hilarious.
“Excellent. I’ll sort it. Shall I come over now or meet you at the house on the bridge?” Gully was adamant he was helping.
“I’ll see you there. Give me quarter of an hour and I’ll meet you on the driveway.”
We ended the call and I petted Moonshine, losing my fingers in his soft, dense fur. “Sorry, Moony. We’re moving. I know this is the only home you’ve ever known but you’ll like the house on the bridge.” I spoke to him in Welsh, although I was confident he was bilingual. I’d have to explain to him later that he’d be staying inside for a couple of weeks so he remembered where home was, not that he wandered far. Plus, the house on the bridge was bigger, so he’d have more space to lounge.
My goodbyes to Mrs Bettany weren’t as hard as I’d thought, mainly because I had enough barra brith to last a week and a promise to visit her for a cup of tea tomorrow, bringing Luca with me. One of the things I wanted to do before school started again was to show Luca Puffin Bay and introduce him to people. Then at the weekend, he could show his dad and they could get to know this place they were now calling home.
I let the promise of showing someone my favourite places keep me cheery as I parked my little bug of a car on Grayson’s drive, Moonshine sat on the passenger seat next to me, his harness on with the lead attached.
We got out of the car, Moonshine ending up in my arms, which I knew made me look like I was cuddling a huge teddy bear I’d won at a fair.
Grayson’s front door opened before I’d reached there, a look of horror on his too-handsome face.
“What on earth?” He stared at Moonshine.
Maybe I should’ve sent him a photograph.
“This is Moonshine. My cat.”
“That isn’t a cat. That’s a lion or a panther or something. Do you have to register it as a dangerous creature?”
I stepped a little closer, seeing Luca running towards us. “Can I come in? Then you can meet Moonshine properly.” I could get the rest of my stuff when Moonshine was settled.
Grayson was still frozen. Luca was obviously excited to see the cat.
“He’s probably a Maine Coone – you know, the really big cats? He’s very even-tempered.”
He hissed at Grayson.
“He’s just scared. This is new for him.” I willed him to use his manners.
Moonshine hissed again as we walked into the house. Grayson closed the door behind me. I put the cat down and crouched to give him a reassuring stroke. He lay down and stretched out to his full length, rolling over so I could give him a good belly scratch.
Luca sat down next to me, looking from me to Moonshine. “Does he ever hurt you?” He didn’t try to stroke the cat.
“No. I found him by the side of the road in a storm when he was tiny, so I had to hand rear him – do you know what that means?”
He shook his head, so I explained.
“That means he thinks I’m his mother cat, but he also thinks that humans are good and will give him food and nice things. Tickle under his chin like this.” I showed him what to do and Luca copied.
“His fur is so soft,” Luca said, getting more confident but staying gentle.
“It is. You should be gentle with him. If he doesn’t like what you’re doing his tail will switch from side to side. But he likes this, he’s purring.” Loudly. He sounded like a lawn mower in the not too far distance.
Grayson crouched down next to me, looking at the cat.
“Is he tame?”
I looked at him. “Probably better house trained than you are, and better tempered.”
Moonshine got onto all four paws and moved so his could sniff Grayson. He then froze and stared at him, then turned around and flicked his tail before walking off, very much showing Grayson his ass.
“I think you’ve offended him,” I said to Grayson, both of us watching Moonshine as he made his way into the kitchen.
“He’s a cat. Don’t anthropomorphise him. He can’t feel offense.”
Grayson had a lot to learn.
“Oh, he absolutely can.” I stood up, matching Grayson. “I know he’s big, but he’s gentle. You’re okay with him being here?”
We both watched Luca slowly following Moonshine, obviously wanting to make friends.
“I suppose so.” He sighed. “He’s your responsibility to look after.” There was a funny shift he did with his feet. “I’ve never had a pet before.”
I brought my hands together. “Then Moonshine’s kind of your first pet – and Luca’s. Can I leave him in the kitchen while we bring my stuff in?” I heard a knock at the door which I guessed was Gully. I’d forgotten I was meant to meet him on the drive. “That’s one of my friends – he said he’ll help me move everything in.”
Grayson frown. “Friend? As in boyfriend?”