Breeze Bridge (Puffin Bay Book 5)

9. Clover

Christmas Eve brought me two explosive orgasms, one on Gray’s hand and the other while I was sat on his face, a position I’d had reservations about because it was so intimate.

There was no talk of the new position I wanted to try: him inside me.

I wasn’t sure why he was reticent. We’d talked about boundaries, keeping this between us, how it was something for us to do and helping me feel more confident about dating – but I still needed to do the deed.

I wanted to do the deed. With Grayson. I liked him; his sulkiness and focus, the seriousness he carried with him unless Luca was there, or now me. I even figured he kind of liked Moonshine – they were just jealous of each other, or that was my interpretation of things.

I liked making him jealous, and he knew that. He couldn’t help but be possessive sometimes, including on Christmas Day when I’d been talking to Gully for ages about books and what was being released early in the new year from the big hitting authors. I didn’t always do it on purpose, because I knew he had major hang ups because of what Sherry had done, and I didn’t minimise what was going on between us because we hadn’t labelled it.

December rolled into January, the Christmas lights taken down through the town and in the house on the bridge, leaving us in the pitch black of winter. School for Luca wasn’t restarting until the second week of the month, but Grayson was back at work, one of two of the partners at the practice that served Puffin Bay and the next town along, which left me with Luca.

This was perfectly fine and actually really easy. He liked time by himself and he’d been spoiled at Christmas with games and books and models to make, something he was really good at with amazing fine motor skills. He also loved playing with his friends, so each day we had a playdate arranged at someone’s house or the community centre where there was a craft afternoon for kids his age. Roman had the hotel arrange a couple of afternoons where the indoor pool was kitted out with slides and inflatables for the children to play in, which had the benefit of tiring Luca out too.

His bedtime routine stayed the same, which meant mine and Grayson’s did too. Some evenings I headed to the Puffin Inn, taking my laptop so I could carry on with edits. Some evenings Gray and Luca came with me for dinner, and then we all went home and played board games until Luca’s bedtime.

Which gave the adults plenty of time for games of a different nature.

Just not the particular game I wanted to play.

It was Sunday evening, the Sunday before school resumed and getting Luca to bed had been tricky. He’d enjoyed the holidays and while he liked school, he wanted more of what he’d had this week, especially where he’d gotten to see his friends pretty much every day. The boy did not get his social graces from his father, that was sure.

He also didn’t seem to get them from his mother, who had phoned Grayson, but not on Christmas Day. He’d received the text message that he’d been expecting, saying the drunken call he’d received had been nothing more than a butt dial and she’d speak to her son soon. A couple of days later and Sherry had called again, only to say she was sorry she’d missed them when they were down in Bristol and she’d like to see Luca the next time they were there, if they gave her notice so she could make sure she was free.

I’d been surprised at Gray. He hadn’t ranted at her or told her what he thought. No, he’d saved that for me afterwards when we were in the kitchen and Luca was definitely fast asleep.

His rage had morphed into a passion of a different kind, and I’d really thought then that this was it and I’d finally find out what it was like to have him inside me. I’d been obsessed with imagining it since he’d gone to Bristol just before Christmas. The orgasms were body-explodingly brilliant, and I’d found I was more than adept at providing his, especially when there was a possibility of him decorating my boobs or filling my mouth – he became feral at those times, which was another turn on.

But I didn’t feel full. I wanted more and I couldn’t understand why we hadn’t crossed that final barrier yet.

“I have tomorrow off.” Gray sat down next to me on the sofa, Luca finally in bed and asleep. “I can take his lordship to school so you can lie-in or start editing early.”

I stretched out. I wasn’t in my pyjamas yet, still wearing my leggings and a baggy hoodie I’d pinched from Gully last summer when we’d been down at Ivy’s Arch, listening to him and his brothers sing and play guitar.

“How come you’ve got a day off?” Gray worked hard, often carrying on with paperwork after Luca had gone to bed for an hour or two. An unplanned day off hadn’t happened since he’d moved here.

He stretched out too. “Julie was meant to be off, but she needs to change it, so we’ve switched. She’s covering my appointments. I figured Luca would like me taking him to school.”

“What are you planning for tomorrow then? You don’t want to waste a day.” While I was happy mulling about the bay and spending an afternoon with a book or my laptop at the Inn or Amelie’s Cakery, I knew the island like the back of my hand. Gray didn’t yet, most of his time spent at the surgery or doing things with Luca.

“I have none. Not yet.”

A sizzle went through me when his eyes met mine. It was a sizzle that set me on fire. I moved rapidly, straddling him with my hands on his shoulders, his hands on my waist straightaway and I claimed his mouth this time with a kiss that left cinders.

“Want to go upstairs?”

He froze, his hands still in place. “Clover…”

“Why haven’t we, you know, done it yet?” I could feel him hard underneath me already. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to, that was clear.

Gray groaned. “Because - ”

“Because what? Are you afraid I’ll catch feelings?” Because if it was, he was too late. This wasn’t just physical attraction and friends with benefits for me, there was more to it, I just wasn’t thinking too hard about that right now.

“I’m afraid I’ll catch feelings.” He took his hands off my waist and took hold of my hands instead. “And that once we’ve had sex, you’ll start dating other men.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I’m built like that.” Think was the wrong word. I wasn’t built like that. Having whirlwind romances that ended up with me leaving a bed with a broken heart wasn’t on my to do list for this year.

“I’m worried that once I have you, I won’t be able to hide what we’re doing. I don’t like it when other men look at you as it is.” His words were gruff and mumbled, as if he was ashamed of saying them.

I switched how we were holding hands, moving his back onto my body. “Do we need to hide what we’re doing? Luca’s the most important person in this.”

He looked pained. “If we tell him that we like each other and it doesn’t work out, what happens then?”

I’d thought about this, more or less on a repeated track for the last few weeks. “You have to replace me as a nanny anyway. In another few months one way or another, I’ll be away a little more to see clients face to face – I can’t get away from that entirely, so you’ll need a backup for childcare. Mrs Pettifer has spaces coming up and Luca’s friend Ezra does before and after school with her, so that’s a really good option. She babysits too. Luca will know I’m his Clover and not just dad’s fancy-piece.”

That made him laugh, which was the intention because he was looking far too serious, even more so than usual.

“Fancy-piece? What decade are you stuck in?” His hands were on my waist again, holding me softly.

“I was trying to appeal to you with terms you’d be more familiar with - ”

His laugh was relaxed. “How much older than you do you think I am? In real terms?”

“Just over a decade. So you grew up without TV’s and - ”

“Don’t test me.” Gray stood up, me wrapped around him like a bear. “I’m only just ten years older than you.”

“You’re nearly forty. That’s like silver-fox territory.” I lifted a hand to pet his hair. “I’ve noticed a few more strands recently…”

Then I was manhandled over his shoulder, his hand on my ass, clearly using the opportunity to cop a very good feel.

Heat pooled between my legs. Anticipation bubbled through me, my skin alight.

“So you want me to show you what an older man can do?”

I heard the strain in his words, knew that something was going to snap.

“Yes. I do.” Finally.

He carried me out of the living room into the hall, then up the stairs. We were both quiet, not wanting to disturb Luca, the sound of just one set of footsteps on the stairs something of a disguise.

I expected Grayson to take me into my room, which was where we’d always gone, him staying until I was asleep. He didn’t.

He pushed open his bedroom door and deposited me on the bed, before closing the door and locking it.

“The cat’s downstairs, isn’t he?”

I nodded, full of sweetly nervous anticipation. Moonshine had taken up his evening sentry of staring out into the garden at whatever creatures decided to visit.

“Good. I’m fed up with him interrupting me.” He pulled off the sweater he’d changed into when he’d come home from work, taking the T-shirt he had on underneath with it.

Bare chested, he made my mouth and other things water. Gray worked out, not every day but enough to keep up the muscles he’d acquired partly through gym work and partly through genetics.

“Strip.” The single word cut through the air.

Like Pavlov’s dog, I responded, losing Gully’s hoodie and my bra, then alleviating my body from my leggings and underwear as gracefully as I could.

I hadn’t felt shy under Gray’s gaze since that first night. He made it clear he liked what he saw, sometimes stroking his cock as he looked his fill, sometimes making it obvious to me how aroused he was. Last night, he hadn’t touched me until he’d fed me his cock, instructing me how to take more of it, holding my hair tightly enough for my shoulders to relax and enough to make me almost come at the idea of the scene.

“How wet are you?” His eyes dropped to between my legs.

I parted them a little more so he could see, knowing I was glistening down there.

“I’m going to get you wetter.” He left his sweatpants on, coming to me bare-chested and determined, kissing his way up from my stomach to my neck and ignoring my breasts. His mouth met mine, the roughness sometimes there not there tonight.

The kiss was deep, slow, full of restraint. At some point I wanted him to lose the restraint but not tonight. Right now I was a mix of worry and need, and I wasn’t sure how shrapnel from that explosion would land.

“Are you worried?” He leaned his forehead to mine. “I’m worried.”

His confession surprised me. “Why are you worried? I’m worried it’ll be uncomfortable. I’m worried you won’t like it.” I pressed my hands against his pecs. “But I still want to do it. I still want it to be with you.”

His eyes were fierce. “I’m worried about it being uncomfortable for you. I’m worried about disappointing you.”

“Let’s just promise there’ll be a second time, because this time might not be the best it’ll get.”

His laugh was thick with dirty and lust. “It won’t be the best it’ll get.” He paused.

I waited for what he wanted to say. There was something on his mind.

“Do you want me to wear a condom?”

I shook my head. “I’d rather not. I just prefer the idea of you being – bare.” The word sounded porny. I loved it when Gray was dirty with his words, when he told me exactly what he liked and what he was going to do, but I couldn’t use those words myself.

“Okay. You’re on the Pill. There’s still a chance you could get pregnant.” His words were soft but his cock was pressed against my stomach and he was hard. Very, very hard.

“A small chance.” Because there was. A condom would make that chance smaller.

“Would it be catastrophic for you if I got you pregnant, Clover?” He moved backwards, his cock sliding lower.

I shook my head, surprised at myself. But it wouldn’t be.

“It wouldn’t be catastrophic.”

His eyes blazed. “It wouldn’t be for me either. So this is safe.”

“Kind of.” I felt my body writhe as his mouth latched onto my nipple, fireworks starting to explode below my stomach.

He shifted to my other breast, teasing that nipple with little flicks of his tongue, torturing me in the best possible way. His hand slid between my legs, his fingers pushing over my clit and to my entrance. He added one and then another, slow deep movements that had me urging him on for more. More thickness, harder, more of him. I wanted that stretch I knew his cock would give me. I wanted to feel him inside me.

“You’re soaked.” He pulled his hand and mouth away. “I don’t want you coming yet, I want you ready to fall on your knees and beg for me to fuck you.”

“I think I’m there already.” My hands pushed at his sweats. “These need to come off.”

“Sure?”

“Get them off, Gray.”

Messy kisses were exchanged while they came off, an uncoordinated attempt that had us both laughing softly.

Then he was naked on top of me, the head of his cock pressing against my entrance. Gray moved my leg wider, bringing it up to his hip, pressing more against my entrance.

“I can’t wait to get inside your tight cunt and feel it stretch around my dick, knowing that no one has ever been inside you.”

I was just about ready to use my heels to hammer him in. I already felt like I was on fire. Now I just wanted to burn.

“Just do it, Grayson.” I was begging now.

“Do what?” He sucked at my neck, maybe hard enough to leave a mark.

“Fuck me.”

That was all it took. His cock pushed inside of me, hard and thick, easing in because of how wet he’d made me.

I felt the air leave my body with a groan, a sweet pinch as he pushed in deeper then stilled.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, words not there. It hurt, I couldn’t lie and say it didn’t, but not as much as I’d thought it would. It also felt good at the same time.

“You can undig your nails, maybe.”

I almost laughed. They were pretty much implanted in his back. I smoothed over the skin there and he began to move his hips, slowly at first, letting me get used to the feeling, a feeling I was liking more and more.

I liked his words too. Words that I doubted he’d remember afterwards, words that filled the air around us, said quietly, forcefully, telling me how I felt, how he felt, how it was going to be when he filled me up.

He also told me how I was now his.

My body moved under his, seeking more, even if I wasn’t sure what that was. Gray changed the angle, moving deeper but catching that spot he’d discovered inside of me that made me burst. He balanced himself so he could touch my clit, everything starting to tighten.

“I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to last.” The tension in his voice made me feel inexplicably satisfied. His movements quickened.

I knew by his expression that he was close.

“It’s my first time. I might not - ” Oh, but I did. It wasn’t an orgasm like I was now used to; it didn’t have the same power or force, but it came, everything tightening and then releasing.

Grayson growled, moving more to his knees, his free hand on the headboard. He thrusted harder and quicker inside me, before I felt his cock pulse, warmth filling me up as he exploded.

He bit my neck as his body began to relax, the weight of him soothing, his cock still hard inside of me. The kiss that came afterwards wasn’t sweet or tame; it was feral. There was still more to give and take, still more left to have. I had a feeling that once tonight wasn’t going to satisfy him, and maybe not me either.

“Are you okay?” He nuzzled my nose with his. “Are you hurting?”

“No. Not like I thought. I think I definitely want to do it again.” There was no think about it.

“Good.” He rose up on his haunches, pulling his cock out of me. I felt wetness trickle out. “I need to clean you up.”

He disappeared into his ensuite. I heard water running and a moment later he was back with a warm, damp flannel, gently wiping between my legs.

I also knew he was studying what he’d left behind there.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Very much. You have no idea what a turn on that is, seeing you full of my come.” He moved the flannel away.

“Was there any blood?” I’d been worried they’d be loads. I’d had no idea what happened to virgins at my age. I’d googled it and read a variety of accounts, leaving me none the wiser and all the more apprehensive.

“A little. Hardly any. Do you feel okay?” He moved back over me, pulling the covers over us. I’d noticed his cock was either still hard or hard again.

I snuggled into him, facing each other as he lay on his side. He pulled my top leg over his hip.

“I’m good. I feel good. Relaxed.” Happy. Euphoric. Full of all of those hormones that were giving me the gentlest, kindest high.

Gray kissed my forehead. “You felt fucking incredible. I can’t wait to get inside you again.” Another kiss and he brought me closer to him. “This isn’t the last time, you know that don’t you?”

“I’m hoping it’s not the last time.” I knew I needed to go to the bathroom although I didn’t want to move. “Shall I head back to my room?”

“Sleep here. If Luca wakes up and finds you here, I’ll just say you had a bad dream.” He brushed my hair away, his fingers gentle. “He hasn’t woken up in the night for months though.”

“Okay.” I wasn’t going to argue. I didn’t want to sleep in my own bed after what we’d just done. “If you’re good with that.” I wriggled from him. “I need the bathroom.”

He laughed quietly. “Sure. I should be advising that.”

I slipped out of bed, aware of the wetness between my legs and the slight soreness there. It was new, a new sensation and I didn’t mind it. Not at all.

I slept in one of Grayson’s T-shirts, abandoning the underwear at his request and only wearing the T-shirt in case Luca did wake up. It felt strange at first, falling asleep in a bed with someone else, a man, knowing he’d be asleep with me, in the same space. I’d dozed off in my own bed, with Grayson next to me before, but that’d felt different.

His alarm didn’t wake me, I barely registered him getting up and wasn’t even aware of Luca going to school. Grayson’s sheets were soft and his mattress comfy, the scent of him cocooning.

I was woken properly by him getting into bed with me, a kiss pressed to my neck and then arms wrapped around my body, with his hands going into places that no one else would’ve gotten away with.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Luca’s in school. I have a free day. How are you feeling after I stole your virginity?”

I turned onto my back. “Stole. I think it was given freely.”

His hands pushed up the T-shirt, the sheets and duvet displaced. My nipples hardened as they were exposed and he grazed a finger over one, watching it stiffen.

“Good to know because I’m happy to take more, if you’ll let me.”

My body was already shouting yes.

I pulled the T-shirt off in response, enjoying how his eyes ate me up.

“How sore are you?”

I shook my head. “I feel okay. Honestly. I’d really like it if you touch me again.” I needed to start to use my own words.

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

I realised the freedom then. For one of the first times, it was just me and Grayson in the house. No chance of any interruptions, no agenda apart from each other and whatever this was.

“Here.” I put my hands on my breasts and pressed them together. “I want your mouth on them.”

“You want me to suck your tits?”

Pressure built between my legs again. “Yes. Suck on them.”

His obliged immediately, without gentleness and with need instead. I heard myself whimper. In response, Gray put his hand between my legs, cupping me there.

“Wet again. Still wet from me too.” He looked at me with eyes that were dark and almost fearsome. A finger slid inside me, moving in and out, deeper each time. “How does that feel?”

“Good. Very good.” I was getting revved up quickly.

“I like having you sleep naked in my bed. Like the idea of being able to touch you like this when I want.” He slid down the bed, his hands now on my breasts, playing with my nipples.

Grayson’s mouth settled on my clit, his tongue lazily lapping over it in a way that he’d discovered got me there quickly. I expected him to deny me the orgasm, but instead he sped things up, and I cried out, louder than I’d been able to do before, knowing that there weren’t any ears there to hear me.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, moving back up my body, his cock already at my entrance, pressing against my opening.

“Do you want me inside you?” He asked permission.

I wrapped my legs around him in response, encouraging him to push inside me. This time was quicker, his pace shallower but faster than last night, my boobs bouncing and my breath sped up, my body feeling far more out of control that it had done before.

I came again, a different sort of orgasm than last night. Maybe my body was more comfortable with the sweet intrusion, and I knew that any pain was only underlining the pleasure.

Grayson followed me, holding onto my hips, groaning loudly as he emptied himself. A look of blissful smugness crossed his face.

“The old man’s still got it then?”

I giggled, shaking my head. “I don’t think you’re old. I think you’re the perfect age.”

He pressed his lips against my chest and looked up at me. “I think everything right now is perfect.”

We showered, talked, decided to go into Puffin Bay and have breakfast at the Inn. Together. He told me he’d find it hard to not touch me, to not put his hand on my back, or move my hair away from my face, and I told him that was fine. My phone would blow up with messages later, but I could just ignore them because I didn’t want to share too much anyway. I wanted this to me mine for a while longer, just in case I never had it again.

“What about Luca?” We’d kind of discussed this yesterday.

“We say that you’re my girlfriend. Leave it at that. If things don’t work out, we’ll deal with that then. Some relationships don’t work out and that’s fine – it’s how we deal with the endings that matter. I also want him to know that no relationship is perfect and you shouldn’t carry on with one just because you don’t know how to end it kindly.” He sprayed his cologne on his neck, something he did every day, even if he wasn’t planning to leave the house.

“Do you think we’ll end?” My heart missed a beat wondering whether he was planning this already, if it really was temporary.

“No. I don’t know what will happen, but I know at this moment all I can think about is having you back in my bed again, and making sure that any man who sniffs around knows you’re not available.”

I swatted at the hand that reached out to my waist. “You’re such a caveman.”

“Not always. I wasn’t like this over Sherry.” His expression soured.

“What’s different?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

We walked to the Puffin Inn, the rain finally having ceased after a few days of what felt like water torture. The brook that ran into the sea was fast flowing, the volume of water almost as high as I’d ever known it. I told Grayson stories about the town in winter, the things that had happened here, including when we’d had snow and it’d stuck for more than a day, which was unusual.

He talked more about his sister, and we were just at a part that I was finding fascinating, when Amelie saw us walk in the bar together, Grayson’s hand on my back.

He could’ve left it at that, but instead he pressed a kiss to the side of my head through my hair.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” Amelie’s hands went to her hips as she looked from me to Gray, all big eyes and interest.

I bit my lip. This was news that would be everywhere around Puffin Bay within ten minutes.

I looked up at Grayson. “I’m sorry.”

He frowned, looking worried. “What for?”

“What’s about to happen.”

His frown evaporated and was replaced with a sly smile. “Want to give them something to talk about?”

I wasn’t sure what he meant.

Until he showed me.

Grayson turned his big body towards me, taking hold of my hips with hands that were gentle. I realised what was going to happen just before his lips pressed against mine with a kiss that could’ve been described as chaste apart from the fact it lingered for at least five seconds longer than would be considered suitable for children to watch.

I had no doubt that Amelie had taken a photo. I had no doubt that everyone in Puffin Bay had now received that image.

“We’ve come for breakfast,” Grayson said, when we’d kind of disengaged.

“I would’ve thought you’d have eaten already, sugar.” Amelie gave him her most innocent smile. “But if you’re needing to refuel take a seat and I’ll be over to take your order.” Her gaze landed on me.

I braced myself.

“Clover, could I borrow you in the back for a moment. I need some help putting Zeus’ flea drops on.”

Like hell she did. I knew this was an outright lie because I’d helped her with that just before Christmas, so he definitely wasn’t due now. This was Amelie’s way of scraping out all the details while I was still soft and easy-going after that kiss.

I looked at Gray, hoping for some support and maybe some further manhandling and not letting me leave his side.

That didn’t happen. Instead he smirked like he knew exactly what was going to happen.

I managed a glare. It wasn’t a very good one. The smile he produced with that glint in his eye had me smiling back, the glare eradicated.

I was probably going to need to get better at that.

“Clover!” My ex-best friend called across the bar.

I headed through the bar hatch to the back of the pub and into the room that somebody had labelled ‘intervention space’. This was the room where the puzzled, sad and inebriated congregated. There was a bed, always made up and ready to be used, small kitchenette and an ensuite with a seriously high-pressured shower. I’d stayed there on two occasions; once when we’d had a massive storm and a second time when I’d had a migraine that’d floored me.

Amelie practically dragged me through the doorway, then closed said door and leaned against it.

“What haven’t you told me? Seriously? You and Doctor Delicious? I need details. Now!”

I was pretty sure the colony of puffins on Puffin Island had heard her loud and clear, never mind everyone who was in the bar.

“We – I – we…” I looked up at her, now sat down on the bed, the ache between my legs really apparent.

“Are you together?”

I nodded.

“Have you slept with him?”

I nodded again. Thank god for friends who made this easier.

“Is he aware that he’ll be murdered and his body fed to the gulls if he so much as hurts a hair on your head? We can go all Wicker Man on him if necessary.” Her hands were back on her hips.

“The gulls will have a good meal from him but I don’t think he’s going to hurt me. I mean, it might not work out, but if it doesn’t it won’t be because he’s messed me about – he has more to lose than I do.” I was pretty confident in this. I’d had plenty of time while Gray was away before Christmas to think about it. I was part of his and Luca’s life; he wasn’t going to risk hurting his son unnecessarily. And he was right -- relationships did end. Luca hadn’t seen the ending of his parents’ marriage, but he would see other relationships end.

We didn’t live in a fairy tale.

“He does.” Amelie looked like she was taking a deep breath. “How long has this been going on for?”

“A few weeks.” I knew I was smiling as I remembered everything. “We kissed one night. I told him I was a virgin and I asked him if he’d help me get it out of the way, you know, losing it. He refused but I don’t think he liked me going on dates with Owain – not that it was ever going anywhere. There was no spark. So we – me and Grayson – ended up doing a few things, I’m sure you know - ”

She shook her head. “No. I have no idea. Explain.”

No one had looking innocent down to a fine art more than Amelie.

“You know exactly what I mean. Everything but.”

“Anal already?” She started giggling.

I launched a pillow at her. “Stop it. We finally did it last night.” I grinned. “And this morning.”

“We should have champagne to celebrate you losing the V plates. You know everything you’re telling me is going straight to Fleur and Ruby, don’t you? This isn’t to be kept just between us, is it?”

I shook my head. “No, you can tell them. And we’ll have champagne one evening – at your house, not here. I don’t need Mavis knowing the finer details of exactly what her doctor can do with his cock.” I should warn Gray what I could be like with my own words when I’d had fizz. I also had questions, ones that I knew Amelie and Ruby and Fleur would give me a straight answer to and the sorts of things I’d never even thought about before.

“What can the doctor do with his cock?” She folded her arms again.

There was no way I was leaving this room without answering her.

I felt my cheeks heat up. “He knows what he’s doing. I don’t really know what I’m doing that well, but I don’t think he minds.”

“Sugar, he currently looks like he’s just won the Nobel Prize for being King of all the Sex, so I’d say he’s completely fine with you knowing what you know.” Her eyes narrowed. “Did he like that you were a virgin?”

I nodded. “He seems to think he now owns me.” Which made me laugh. “And I mean that in a good, bit of a turn on, way.”

“Because you know that it’s actually the other way round? You’re the one who owns him.” She sounded like she was the local wise woman.

“Maybe.” I wasn’t sure how this all worked yet.

“How is he in bed? Is he all bossy and domineering? He looks like he might have that about him.”

I wasn’t going to go into much detail about that without having had at least two glasses of fizz. As much as I’d pestered my friends for details, sharing my own felt odd right now.

“He’s – he’s exactly what I need him to be.” Which I felt summed it up perfectly. After years of wondering exactly what it would be like, I kind of needed someone to take the lead, and I liked that.

Amelie’s smile softened. “That’s all that matters. I’m still going to threaten him though.” She walked out at pace before I could respond.

I followed, helpless, as she went through the bar and up to the table where Gray was seated, a mug of coffee already there.

“Hurt her and you’ll be fish food in the Strait. Understand? And there isn’t anyone in this town who won’t help me get you there.”

Grayson nodded. “I won’t hurt her. But what will you do if she hurts me?”

“He said what?” Fleur clutched at the spot where her heart was meant to be. “Clover! Can I send Thane to him for lessons?”

I glared at Amelie who was recounting exactly what had been said two days ago, when we outed ourselves to the town.

“‘What will you do if she hurts me?’ So I said, ‘if she hurts you, there’ll be a good reason for it, so the fish will still be getting a decent supper.’” Amelie topped up everyone’s glasses with a drop more champagne.

We were at the home she shared with Roman, now she’d moved in there permanently and Caleb had moved over the inn. There was a perfect view of the Strait from the dining room, the wall completely glass, with doors down to a jetty at which Caleb’s boat was moored.

Roman had left us to it after making sure the champagne was in the fridge and we had enough to eat to soak up the alcohol. He’d headed off to the Puffin Inn, Amelie’s back up if Alys wasn’t able to cover a shift.

It was me, Amelie, Fleur, Freya and Ruby, although Ruby wasn’t drinking. She was growing a baby instead, meaning she’d remember every sentence of this conversation, which was possibly not a good thing.

“I need more details,” Fleur sipped at her champagne.. “Is he big, you know, penis size?”

“How about girth? He looks girthy?” That was Ruby. “Did he warm you up well enough? If he’s big, you need to make sure you’re well-lubed up.”

I stared at them wide-eyed. “Can you please remember that I have no point of comparison. I hadn’t seen a penis in the wild before.”

Freya looked confused. “So when you said this was your first time, you meant first time for everything?”

“Yes. Everything. But also yes, he knows what he’s doing. He’s good at giving orgasms and making me want orgasms. He seems to like doing that too.” Including this morning when I was woken with his head between my legs, almost on the verge of exploding when I came to. “And he’s about that big - ” I gestured with my hands. “And this wide.” I pretended I was holding his cock. “I can’t fit much of it in my mouth.”

The expressions on my friends’ faces suggested they were opening their mouths wide enough to imagine fitting a decent sized penis in there.

“Clover, that’s pretty big,” Freya looked concerned. “Did it hurt?”

I shrugged. “It was uncomfortable at first but I got over that.”

Amelie shook her head. “My first time was with a boy called Phil who was a year older than me and had a pencil dick. I’d have been better off with him using his finger.”

Fleur laughed, almost choking on her drink. “I nearly married a man with a tiny penis. It was girthy, but not very long. And he hadn’t a clue with what to do with it.” She sighed, staring out of the window at the lighthouse that Thane, her forever person and the father of her twins, managed. It was also where Gully lived now, the person I’d avoided since the town found out about me and Grayson.

“You did know what to do with it though,” I said. “You ditched it and found a better one.”

Ruby shook her head. “Who is my brother, and I refer to the fact I’m pregnant and not drinking so I cannot cope with any description of my brother’s tackle.” She looked at Freya. “Your boyfriend has the same genes as my husband. Shall we compare?”

Freya was newish to town. She’d moved to Puffin Bay about nine months ago and ended up living with Roe Holland as housemates. Fast forward a few months and she was now living with him in his new house, as definitely more than housemates this time.

She tipped back her champagne, looking a mixture of embarrassed and interested. This was the first time we’d had a girls’ night with us all together for one reason or another and I figured Freya wasn’t sure how she was fitting in.

“He’s a good size.” She looked a little unsure. “I have zero complaints.”

Ruby lacked any filter in this department. “Finn’s on the big side. Length,” she gestured with her hands. “Girth.” This time she used her mouth to help. “Ability to knock me up the first time we didn’t use birth control – one hundred percent.” She rubbed her belly. “Bang went the holiday of a lifetime.”

We laughed, knowing that she was beside herself with excitement, and the holiday would happen anyway, just not this year, and with some extra luggage.

“Seriously, first time?” Fleur squinted. “I think it was the first time with Thane and me. Or second. You must be a fertile family.”

“Or maybe it’s the island air.” Freya looked at Ruby. “Hopefully not a Holland genetic trait. I’m not sure Roe and I are ready for that yet.”

“Gray said something about babies before we first slept together.” Yep, the fizz had loosened my tongue.

Four heads snapped my way.

“What did he say?” Amelie leaned forwards.

I wondered if this was the sort of thing I was meant to share. “Just that even though I was on the Pill didn’t mean that I wouldn’t get pregnant and if I did, he’d handle it. It was okay – just like reassuring, I guess, that there wouldn’t be any worries afterwards.” I looked at all their expressions, mixtures of curiosity and well, nosiness. “Is that a weird thing to say before you have sex for the first time?” I picked up a savoury cheese stick that Amelie had made.

Amelie sipped at her champagne. “No. It’s just telling us that he really thought about it. The what ifs. He was basically saying that if he got you pregnant, he’d be okay with that. I think.”

“That was how I read it.” I looked at Fleur. “You and Thane didn’t have that conversation then?”

“The thought that we’d end up with twin nightmares did not occur to either of us in the moments before Thane plundered my pussy with his oversized cock.” She shot a grin at Ruby. “Sorry.”

Ruby shook her head. “I don’t need to know that. I’m good with having beautiful twin nieces and an almost sister-in-law who can help me when I’ve had this one.” She rubbed her tiny bump again. “Clover, why didn’t you tell us about you and Doctor Dictastic?”

I felt bad about this. “Because you’ve all heard me moon over Gully and even Roe a little bit, and there’ve been others I’ve kind of obsessed over – sorry Freya.” Because I knew she’d found it weird, realising that I liked Roe when she’d been seeing him. I hadn’t really liked Roe – it’d just been an easy crush because he looked like Gulliver.

“It’s okay. We’ve covered this.” Her smile was sweet. “But it must be different with Grayson. You’re in a relationship with him.”

I nodded, nerves eating at my stomach every so often and this was one of those oftens. “It felt different with him. It feels different with him. He’s just, I don’t know how to describe it.” I shrugged, needing some words.

“You have hearts in your eyes,” Fleur squeezed my shoulder. “Are you in love with him?”

I shrugged again. “I don’t know. I haven’t been in love before. I hadn’t had sex before a few nights ago - ”

I was interrupted by Ruby. “How many times have you had sex now? I kept counting all the times Finn and I had sex until I got to one hundred and then I didn’t bother.”

“One hundred orgasms or one hundred times?” Amelie paused with her glass at her lips. “I like to pretend to Roman that he can’t make me orgasm. It makes him very determined.”

“It was one hundred times of having sex, but it was more because there had been some nights when I lost count. You know, those nights when you’re woken up with a raging hard-on poking at your ass and a hand teasing your nipple? Then you wake up and have no idea if it was a dream or real?” Ruby picked up Freya’s drink and sniffed it before handing it back to Freya.

Fleur laughed. “Wait until you’re woken up with the foot of a two year old stuck in your kidneys. Those midnight cocks will definitely be a dream then.”

Ruby rubbed her belly again. “I keep telling Finn this and he just laughs. Clover, you look like you have something to add. Enlighten us before Fleury gives us any more details about my brother.”

I could feel my face getting hotter. “We’ve had sex eleven times.”

“In how many days?” Fleur resembled a vulture.

“Four? Five if you include this morning. But that’d make it twelve times because we, you know, before I came here.” I waited for the barrage of questions.

All of them sipped their drinks, looking at me like I was a museum artifact.

“Where was Luca?” Fleur was curious now.

“Having tea at his friend”s.” I swallowed. “So it’ll probably be three times today. Definitely three times today.”

“You have plans for when you get home?” Amelie was looking very interested now. “My no longer sweet and innocent friend.”

“Well, yeah. Gray told me them before I got out of the car here.” He’d dropped me off and then gone to get Luca. There had been some detail shared before we’d parted.

Fleur nodded, reaching over to top up my glass. “Tell.”

“Really?”

She nodded again. “You’ve yanked out every sordid detail from me in the past, time to return the favour. Also, is your vagina made of leather, because that’s a hell of a lot of dick given you’d not experienced any before Grayson.”

“I think it’s making up for lost time.” I pinched an olive from a tapas board in the middle of the table.

“Details. Now.” Fleur could be demanding.

“He mentioned what he was going to do to me when I got home.” Between my legs now felt as warm as my face. “It sounded appealing.”

“I repeat myself. Details.” Fleur picked up a piece of cake and started to devour it.

I looked around the table for support. None came. Instead I was surrounded by a pack of hyenas, waiting to be fed.

“I feel embarrassed.”

A lot of comforting noises were made by those hyenas. Supportive statements were said.

“It involves the kitchen table. Me over it. Holding on.”

Amelie opened another bottle of champagne.

“What else. Tell us more. How exactly did Doctor Deliciously Dirty describe this?” That was Ruby. “Then I can tell Finn and give him some ideas.”

“We haven’t done it from behind before. He’s said he’s going to wait for me in the kitchen when I get in and I’d better not be wearing underwear – I mean, I am right now. I’ll just get rid of it before I get to the kitchen.” This was awkward.

Freya stuffed two olives into her mouth. “Kitchen table sex is the best.”

Ruby nodded. “As long as the table’s heavy enough not to move when he’s going for it. It needs to be solid. Is the kitchen table solid, Clover?”

“It took six people to carry it in. It doesn’t move easily.” It was solid oak and sat ten.

“What else is on the menu?” Amelie asked. “You?”

I nodded. “He wants to see how I taste after having champagne.”

There were more than a few words said now and Amelie waved her hand in front of her face, then in front of Fleur’s.

“Does he like telling you what to do when you’re having sexy-times?” Freya asked. She seemed the most sober of us all, apart from Ruby for obvious reasons.

I nodded. “But he doesn’t mind when I want to try something. Like the first time I got on top.”

“Which was the most awkward position,” Amelie tipped her head back and looked at the ceiling. “The first time I got on top I had no idea what I was doing and it felt so big and I got all self-conscious because I was worried I wasn’t doing it quick enough and I then my legs started to ache and yeah, that wasn’t the best.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that with Gray. Not wanting to make you jealous or anything.”

“So how was it? Maybe we can consider therapy for my first time on top,” Freya said, looking incredibly interested now. “I was exactly how Amelie described. Very self-conscious. Very unsure and he just lay back and expected me to perform.”

“Tell me Roe doesn’t do that?” Ruby interjected.

Freya shook her head. “He definitely doesn’t do that. Me being on top lasts about sixty seconds and then I’m flipped over. He doesn’t do not being in charge, well, every so often, he lets me ‘play’. Not for very long though.”

It was the most information we’d had from her. That made me feel braver.

“Gray kind of moved me when I went on top for the first time. I didn’t know what to do, but he knew that and just made it easy. He set the rhythm and he’s strong enough to lift me.” I giggled at the thought, the champagne having its desired effect. “I’ve never been self-conscious and I don’t think Gray could let me feel self-conscious.”

“Maybe I should’ve lost my virginity to Thane.” Fleur sighed into her glass. “Or there should be a health warning that flashes up in front of your eyes when you’re too young to understand that sex isn’t about just ticking boxes – this may give you a false impression of what you’ll have when you’re older and know more.”

“Do you have much sex since you’ve had the twins?” That was Ruby. “I don’t need details about my brother, but I want to know what I’ve got coming.”

Fleur shrugged. “It’s hard. Or rather it isn’t depending what we’re referring to. The first few months I was exhausted, but there were two of them and it was rare for them both to sleep at the same time. There were feeds and nappies and some days I had no idea if it was morning or night. Then they started to sleep, so I did too, and I got interested again. I was worried that Thane would be put off by the stretch marks and things that weren’t the same as before, but he wasn’t. It was the opposite – I just had to believe him. And then we made up for lost time.” She looked at Ruby, almost apologetically. “Your enthusiasm at being an aunt helped a lot. I’m more than happy to return the favour.”

Ruby laughed, shaking her head. “So when you said you were both grabbing a nap, you were having some afternoon delight?”

“No. We didn’t lie. We slept. But we had a quickie too. Sometimes two quickies. You nearly caught us once, but if I give you any more details, you’ll have nightmares.” Fleur sipped at her champagne some more. “And that is why we’re not having any more. We have two amazing daughters and a fantastic life.” Her smile was contented. “And my children now mainly sleep through the night, which means Thane can be as kinky as he wants.”

Ruby held up her hand. “No more. That’s enough.”

“I want to know more about the Deliciously Dirty Doctor. Have you role played yet?” Amelie focused on me.

I shook my head. “No. Less than a week since - ” I paused.

“You gave him your V-card to punch?”

“He grabbed every slot on your card?”

“He stole your flower?”

“He eradicated your innocence?”

“You’re all ridiculous.”

But I still loved them. So much my heart sang.