10. Grayson
Ididn’t do birthdays.
For a start, I’d worked most of my adult birthdays, either on rotation in the hospital while I’d been training, at the surgery or on call. There had been the birthdays spent at the urgent care centre and then there’d been the birthdays spent as a single dad, where Luca and I had gone to a kid-friendly restaurant and he’d sang happy birthday to me with the wait-staff.
I had a feeling about this birthday.
It was the end of February. Daffodils were starting to flower, the sea was still having its own turmoil and Clover was in my bed every night. Luca had visited us a couple of times when he’d had a bad dream and had been completely unfazed to find his nanny in there too, which’d meant there was no need for any half-truth explanations. We’d also managed to find a babysitter once a week so we could go out together, on a date, which had ended a couple of times with me introducing Clover to the benefits of a big SUV with blacked out windows. She’d walked through the door to the house looking gloriously dishevelled and thoroughly fucked, which I’d taken great pride in, especially because I knew our babysitter had a huge crush on her.
But this birthday felt different.
There was a sense of secrecy in the town. Mel kept looking at me and smiling, which was inducing a mild sense of panic because I did not know what to do if I was the centre of attention.
Being a doctor made it not all about me. My job was about my patient. I was instrumental in keeping people alive, but not at any point did that have anything to do with me performing or being the focal point for adoration – I was definitely not adorable. As a kid, I’d lived in my younger sister’s shadow. She’d been a rainbow baby and my mother had been desperate for a girl. Megan was eight years younger than me, and had everything my parents couldn’t afford to give me, because by the time she came along, they’d made some money. Private school, horse riding lessons, her own car before she could drive – she was the apple of their eye and that was fine. I lived with that.
So I was currently nervous.
I lay in bed with Clover, the house quiet, my son asleep because it was half past ten, and wondered what was going through her mind, wondered what she had planned.
Surprises weren’t my thing. They made me angsty. I liked to have a bank of possible solutions to any difficulty that was going to arise, and to do that you had to have an idea of what the difficulty was.
Before Clover and I had slept together, I’d worked through the permutations of what could go wrong and what the solution would be. One of the protective measures was to keep us a secret and I knew Clover would’ve accepted that, only at some point it would’ve gotten out.
And I didn’t want to keep Clover a secret.
For the last ten years and change, she’d felt like she’d been left on a shelf, crushing on men and boys that I didn’t think she was actually interested in because then she’d be safe. She wouldn’t put herself on the line to be hurt, or to be left like her parents had left her. Plus, she wouldn’t have to make a decision about leaving Puffin Bay, which was never going to happen.
The town loved Clover. I knew if I put a foot wrong with her, there’d be a chance I’d have a lynch squad after me and face being hung, drawn and quartered, but I didn’t have any intention of hurting her. If it didn’t work out, it wouldn’t be because I cheated, or was messing her about, it would be because it wasn’t meant to be.
I was risking my own heart, and Luca’s. He was already watching how we were with questioning eyes. He’d found Clover sleeping in my bed a couple of times now and I was waiting for him to ask what was happening. The answer would be the truth because life wasn’t a fairy tale and at some point my son would suffer heartbreak as well as be the cause of someone else’s. It was how we dealt with such events that defined us.
Which led back to me dealing with my birthday.
“I can hear you thinking.” Clover turned over, stretching an arm across my chest. “It was so loud it woke me up.”
She was wearing one of my T-shirts, which had become her bedwear. They dropped down to her mid-thigh and hid everything should Luca appear, but at the same time they gave me a thrill, knowing she was in my clothes and there wasn’t anything underneath.
I was coming to realise that I had a possessive streak that probably wasn’t healthy, if I stopped control over it. Luckily, I was pretty controlled.
“It’s my birthday on Friday.” I decided just to get it off my chest. “I think you’re planning something.”
Her leg lifted over my legs. I was on my back and was now draped in Clover. That was possibly enough of a birthday present.
“I have.”
She drew a pattern on my chest with her finger.
“Please tell me what. I don’t like surprises.” I caught her hand and pressed it over my heart.
She relaxed it there, her lips grazing my skin. My cock stirred, even though it had no right to. We’d already had a round of sex after Luca had gone to sleep. For some reason, tonight I’d not been able to keep my hands off her.
“You have the day off. So we’re going to Beaumaris by boat after Luca’s at school, just to have lunch there and walk around, pretending we’re tourists. Then after Luca’s finished school, we’re having dinner at the Puffin Inn with a cake and some balloons. There are other people eating at the same time as us.”
“So a party?”
“Kind of. It’s more of a get together, rather than anything formal. So Ruby and Finn, Gully, Roe and Freya, Cassian and Romy, Amelie and all the rest will be there. Plus the kids. Then on Saturday night, Luca’s having a sleepover at Archie’s, which he doesn’t know about yet because I needed to check you were good with it.” Her hand slipped from off my heart and headed south.
Things were stirring now. I decided to act on that given that Clover wasn’t asleep anymore.
“I like those plans.” I actually did. “Low key.”
She nodded, shifting over me and pulling off the T-shirt, leaving her naked, her tits there for me to touch and suck, her nipples already hard. There was only my underwear between us, but I could feel her wetness through the thin material, her pussy sat on top of my erection.
“I think you should wrap yourself up in a bow and be my present.” I was rather fond of this idea. “I can unwrap you.” I pinched at her nipple, pleased when her back arched.
“That can be arranged for Saturday night.” Her hips moved against me.
I groaned, the friction as painfully frustrating as it was pleasurable. I loved how she felt when I was inside her. I loved knowing that I was the only man she’d had. I loved the little noises she made and how prettily she came for me, continually surprised with what her body could do.
I was well aware that I was falling in love with her. I couldn’t see any reason to not be happy with this either.
“Any night. Thank you for arranging something good for my birthday. I’m not even going to ask how you swung me a day off on Friday for it.” I cupped her breasts, pushing them together and imagining my cock between them, as it had been a couple of days ago.
“Mel.” Her hands moved to my underwear. “I think we need to lose these.”
She was right, so we lost them, then she took hold of my cock and rubbed it against her clit, her legs spread so I could see how she was glistening between them.
She liked being on top sometimes. After her night at Amelie’s where it seemed all the women had done was talk about sex, she’d told me what some of them had said about being on top for the first time, comparing it to hers, much like how she edited a book – she’d talked me through that process too. She’d been braver after that, asking more questions, not being afraid to experiment with what felt good and what felt different.
The problem was that after a couple of minutes of riding me, I had to snatch back control, so she hadn’t felt yet what it was like to have an orgasm in that position. I had no idea if it was any different, but I was curious.
I stroked her clit with a single finger, running it through that wetness. “How tired are you?”
She shook her head. “I’m perfectly awake. Some parts of me are more awake than others.” Clover kneeled higher, taking hold of my cock and lining it up at her entrance. She sank down slowly, rising and dipping to tease and feel.
My hands went on her hips, but I didn’t do my usual trick of trying to lift her and set the pace.
“You’re not being your usual bossy self.” She started to set her own rhythm. “You’re letting me do the work.”
“I’m feeling lazy.” I shifted my hands up to her tits, cupping them, moulding them, watching Clover tip her head back, those dark curls bouncing around her shoulders and down her back. “How does it feel?”
“Good.” She was breathless now, her hands on my shoulders as she carried on a quick shallow rhythm with her hips. “But I want you to fuck me.” Her eyes widened. “Please.”
The please was a red rag to a bull.
I moved her off me and onto her front, pulling her ass up in the air and spreading her legs. Her pussy was red and wet, too tempting for me to resist fingering her then toying with her clit, hearing her moan at the feeling.
I wrapped her hair around my other hand, pulling her up slightly, making sure I wasn’t going to hurt her in any way that wasn’t good. I didn’t enter her carefully. She was relaxed and stretched from being on my cock, and used to my size now, although I knew this position could be rough.
Welsh words were whispered as I started up a pace that was hard and fast, my cock bottoming out inside of her. I pushed the fingers that had been inside of her into her mouth, telling her to suck, which she did. The feeling nearly sent me over the edge too soon, so I slowed the pace, removing my hand and placing it on her stomach, then positioning it so I could play with her clit.
She came on my cock, her pussy gripping it tightly enough that I saw enough stars to wonder whether I was going to pass out.
I didn’t, but I was definitely going to need some recovery time.
We collapsed in a heap on the sheets, the covers messed around us, the air filled with the sound of us trying to catch our breath.
“I think I prefer you doing the work.” Clover’s words were slow and lazy. “It was a fun experiment.”
“I think I prefer me doing the work.” I froze, holding my breath. “I think I heard footsteps.”
“Luca or Moonshine?”
I pulled out of her, grabbing my T-shirt from where she’d thrown it off and placing it between her legs. Usually I’d clean her up, but right now I needed to identify if my son was up and awake.
“I think Luca.” I moved off the bed, pressing a kiss to her back. “Back really quick.”
“It’s fine.” She sat up, pulling the covers over her. “I’ll clean up and get in my own bed - ”
I shook my head. “No. You don’t need to. I’ll make sure he’s okay.” I pulled on sweats, checked Clover was decent if Luca peered into my bedroom, and opened the door.
He was crouched down next to Moonshine, the demon-cat rubbing against him, purring. The cat might detest me but he loved Luca.
“Daddy, where’s Clover? Has someone come in the house and taken her?” He looked up at me, worry on his face.
“She’s in my room.” I stilled myself. I promised I’d never lie to my child. I would judge how much detail was necessary depending on their age and the suitability of the content, but I wouldn’t lie.
“Is she there to stop someone stealing her?” Luca stood up, his pyjamas bunched around his little body in ways I didn’t think was possible.
“No. It’s because we like her sleeping in my bed. This house is safe and no one’s going to steal anyone from it. We live in a really safe place.” Which was true. People actually left their doors unlocked here.
Luca looked at me with eyes that showed no sign of being sleepy. “Is Clover your girlfriend? Bobby at school has a girlfriend.”
“Yes, Clover is my girlfriend.” I could mention something about Bobby not having his girlfriend sleep in his bed, but that was for another few years.
A soft hand pressed on my back.
“I’m here and I’m okay, Luca. I’m just sleeping in your dad’s bed.” Clover’s accent sounded particularly Welsh. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “I can go back to sleep now.” He crouched down to stroke Moonshine again. “Will Clover read me a story?”
She slipped out from behind me, my dressing gown engulfing her. “A quick one because it’s late.”
Luca went back into his bedroom with Clover, Moonshine following them, probably working out how to exclude me on a permanent basis. I’d caught him staring at me a couple of times this week like he was plotting exactly how to kill me and get away with it.
Because I was a nosy fucker, I gave them a minute then stood at the side of Luca’s bedroom door so I could listen to whatever Luca said. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Clover – I trusted her more than anyone else at this moment in time – I just wanted to know what he would say without me being there.
For five years, I had been the main person in Luca’s world. He’d been the only important person in mine. That was shifting. Those were spots that could be shared.
“What book shall we read? How about One Duck Stuck, cariad?” Clover’s voice was calm, quiet.
“Do you like being Daddy’s girlfriend?” I was surprised by the question. I hadn’t thought Luca would’ve still stuck on the point.
“I do. It’s very new and I like your dad. It doesn’t change me and you though.”
I figured she’d sat down on the bed next to him.
“You’re still my nanny?”
“I’m still your nanny and if I don’t stay as your dad’s girlfriend, I’ll still be your nanny and I’ll still be your dad’s friend.”
“You won’t be mad at him like my mummy is at my dad? Or stop liking me?”
My heart fractured a little. I also wanted to hunt down Sherry and make her realise what she’d done when she hadn’t made an effort to know her son.
“I may get mad at your dad sometimes because it’s normal and okay for people to be annoyed with it each other, as long as they make it better with each other. And your mummy has never stopped liking you – she’s just needed to live her life a little differently. Your dad and me and everyone who knows you in Puffin Bay think you’re amazing.” She said something in Welsh that I didn’t understand, but it made Luca laugh. “You know that don’t you?”
“I am amazing, that’s why.”
That made me feel better; he sounded so sure about that.
“Do you like me better than my dad?”
Now I was surprised. My son sounded jealous.
“I like you in different ways. I like you as the little boy I look after who makes me smile and laugh and I love spending time with. I like your dad as my friend and my boyfriend, so it’s very different.”
The perfect answer, possibly.
“Don’t tell my dad but you’re my favourite person.”
That was not the perfect thing to say, but I liked it anyway. Something inside me warmed up.
“That’s because I let you have extra chocolate and don’t tell him. Let’s keep that our secret.” There was a pause. “I think we’ll save the story till tomorrow. You need matchsticks to keep those eyes open.”
“Will you wait till I’ve gone to sleep?”
“I will.”
“Are you going to sleep in Daddy’s bed?”
“When you’re asleep, I will.”
“Does he tickle you?”
I wondered where the hell this was going.
“Why do you ask?”
“I heard noises from his bedroom and it sounded like you were being tickled.”
I was trying hard not to laugh now.
“He does tickle me. I like being tickled.”
“I don’t like being tickled.” He was sounding half asleep now. “Can we go to the beach tomorrow?”
“We can. Moonshine’s on your bed asleep. Be very still so you don’t wake him.”
“I love Moonshine.”
“I know. Moonshine loves you too.”
“And I love you. And Daddy.”
There were no more words. I waited at the door until Clover came out, startled when he saw me.
She pulled Luca’s bedroom door closed. “Did you hear all of that?”
“Every word. What’s this extra chocolate?”
She elbowed me in the side. “Come on, Daddy, let’s get back in bed. I’m freezing.”
“Daddy? I think I like that.” Something did, anyway.
“Absolutely not.” She wafted the back of her hand onto me, hard enough to give a sharp sting. “I am not calling you ‘daddy’. It’s bad enough you’re an old man.”
“I’m not an old man.”
She paused outside my bedroom door. “Prove it then.”
So I tickled her.
Twice more.
I was woken up on my birthday by Clover’s mouth wrapped around my cock. I didn’t know whether it was because she’d never given a blow job before me, so she’d learned to do it in a way that suited me – although I had no idea what worked for other men and maybe we were all the same – or because I’d never had time on a birthday morning before to receive such a gift, that I almost embarrassed myself with the speed at which I nearly reached the finish line.
I pulled on her hair to move her mouth off my dick, slightly worried that this birthday was the beginning of a phase of my life where things would start to not work as well.
She looked up at me with big dark eyes, her lips pink and swollen from giving her gift. “Wasn’t I doing it right?”
She knew damn well she was doing it right.
“I’d like this to last more than thirty seconds.” I released my grip on her curls.
Clover pushed the bedding out of the way and worked her way up my body, pausing when her hips were over mine. She was wearing one of my T-shirts, an old thing from a rock concert about twenty years ago when life had been a lot different.
I wouldn’t swap to be back there though, not in the position I was right now. My hands worked her T-shirt up her body and off, leaving her bare for me to look my fill. Her breasts were more than a handful, full and the stuff of my teenage fantasies. I cupped them with my hands, feeling their weight, liking the soft moan that fell from her lips. I dropped a hand to between her legs, cupping her there and feeling her wetness.
“You’re turned on.”
“Don’t be surprised. I’ve been thinking about how to wake you up for about half an hour.” She lifted her hips and took hold of my dick, guiding it to her entrance, before slowly seating herself on it.
I watched where we joined, my bare cock sliding inside her, the caveman in me totally getting off on knowing I’d be filling her pussy with my cum in a few minutes.
I wanted to get her pregnant.
I wouldn’t admit that to anyone but myself, but I’d imagined Clover pregnant with my baby far too often to be healthy. I loved the way she was with Luca. I loved her quirks and how comfortable she was in herself. I loved her body and her mind and how successful she was with her job although she never talked about it.
I loved her.
Admitting this while she was bouncing on my cock and using her fingers to rub at her clit to get herself off wasn’t the wisest move I’d ever make so beyond the usual murmurs of dirty words and promises of what I’d do to her later, I said nothing.
She came first, which meant she was too boneless to carry on with the show she’d given me. I flipped us over, the sated look on her face riling up the beast inside me even more.
“Use your words if this is too much.” I pushed her knees up towards her chest, enjoying the gasp that came from her, half needy, half asking for mercy, another louder one following when I pushed into her easily.
I took her hard and fast, satisfied when she came hard on my cock, her pussy tight and wet and how I imagined heaven to feel. I came with a growl, her arms and legs wrapping around me as I slowed, our mouths meeting in a messy kiss.
“Happy birthday.” Her words were breathless, murmured in my ear. “Although I feel like I just had a present too.”
I kissed the sensitive skin just under her ear, her breasts crushed against my chest. “You being here is my favourite present.”
“I’ll remember that the next time you’re cursing my cat.”
“I never curse your pussy.”
She shook her head, laughing. “That’s terrible. That’s something a teenage boy would say.”
“The teenage boy’s still in here. I might be forty, but teenage me cheers every time he sees your tits.”
Her fingers combed roughly through my hair. “Does teenage you like how he’s the only man to have seen them?”
Clearly my age wasn’t having too much effect on how things worked because my cock hardened. “Forty year old me really likes that too.”
“Was it a turn on that I was a virgin?”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Fuck, yes. It still is. I’d happily tear apart any other man who tried to look at you or touch you.”
She laughed, her body vibrating under me. “Such a Neanderthal.”
“Just where you’re concerned. I haven’t been like this with anyone before.” I pulled out of her, although I could’ve been ready for another round in a few more minutes. Having a five-year-old was going to put a damper on that.
“I like that. Hearing that I’m different.”
“Oh, you’re different. In the best possible way.”
We dropped Luca off at school together, avoiding one of the mums who was also one of my patients and pretty much had a standing weekly appointment. She was as well as anyone could be, but would worry over the slightest thing, which could be a good thing, but not on such a regular basis.
Mel had also told me that her marriage wasn’t great and that she and her husband really just lived and co-parented together, getting on well enough but they didn’t have a relationship more than that. Mel”s theory was that she had a crush on me, as it was me she’d specifically request. The reception team was doing what they could to reschedule her to see the other GP at the practice, or one of the locums we’d use regularly to try to wean her off seeing me. Having that sort of attachment wasn’t good for anyone.
By nine o’clock we were down at the dock, Thane’s boat looking ready to go. I wasn’t experienced being out on the water, limited to a few boat rides, mainly when I’d taken Luca on holiday or I’d been away with Sherry. The Menai Strait wasn’t an easy stretch of water to navigate, which was lucky because my job didn’t involve me going near any water at all, unless it was washing my hands, but I was apprehensive that I wouldn”t have the sea-legs to not embarrass myself.
Clover embarked first, speaking Welsh to Thane who responded back in the same language. I had no idea what she was saying; while Luca had started to pick the language up pretty well, I was oblivious, knowing the bare minimum so I could appear polite and that was it.
“The water’s pretty calm today.” Thane looked at me with amusement. “And happy birthday. I’ll make sure you don’t have a birthday bath this early on.”
“Appreciated. And thank you for doing this.” I put on the life jacket Clover handed to me.
“Welcome. I have to go to Beaumaris anyway – Fleur needs about a thousand things picking up and it’s a crime you’ve not been out on the water here yet.” He checked a couple of things that I had no idea about and gave us – mainly me – some instructions on what to do.
It wasn’t one of his posh boats – Thane had a fleet of them at his boatyard – but a standard boat that I saw regularly moored at Puffin Bay, mainly used for fishing. There was a small cabin where Clover left her bag, before taking a seat on deck.
She pointed out landmarks as we sailed down the Strait towards Beaumaris, telling me about the Swellies that made the Strait so challenging to navigate, and then giving me the story about a runaway bride who escaped from her wedding on the mainland in a boat that ran out of fuel.
That had been Fleur, and she was still in her wedding dress when she was rescued by Thane, who listened to the tale with a huge grin on his face.
He didn’t stop immediately at Beaumaris, carrying on to Menai, so Clover could carry on being a tour guide, before turning round and heading to the pier at Beaumaris where Thane moored.
“Meet here at one-thirty?” He looked at Clover. “Does that give you enough time?”
She nodded, her hand in mine as we stood on the promenade, my sea legs only slightly shaky. “Plenty. We’re going to tour the castle and have lunch at The Midland. Thank you for the ride.”
Castle? I hadn’t known what Clover had planned for today beyond food and a boat trip being involved. I knew we’d be back early enough to pick up Luca from school, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about a castle.
“Castle?” I frowned at her. I knew there was a castle in Beaumaris – it was one of the symbols of the island, but I didn’t know much about it.
“Beaumaris Castle. We’re having a look round.” She led me along the coast, past the pier that was empty now but I imagined would be packed on a sunny day. Kiosks were dotted at the front of it, advertising pleasure boat rides and fishing trips, a large grassy area next to the pier where some cars were already parked.
The castle rose on our left, grey stone, ruinous and sprawling, surrounded by walls that would have been erected to help with its defence during the many wars that it’d witnessed.
“It was never finished, this castle,” Clover said, walking us over to the gated entrance, the prices and opening times advertised on the boards. “They ran out of money and then never got round to finishing it in the centuries that followed.”
She paid our fee to enter, collecting a guidebook which she handed straight to me. I suspected that Clover could probably write the guidebook herself.
We explored, and I was right, she could write the guidebook, probably an unofficial version because she included stories about Thane and Fleur and other people I knew, mainly from the school gates and having a beer at the Puffin Inn. I took photos from the top of the castle and learned why one in six castle staircases were anti-clockwise in their build.
I kissed my girl at the top of a turret, looking out over a misty sea.
We headed to a restaurant that was one of Clover’s favourites for lunch, sharing a jug of sangria because neither of us needed to drive anywhere later and eating more tapas than was probably necessary given we were having dinner at Amelie’s afterwards.
Thane had a bunch of flowers on the boat for Fleur, which he said would keep him in the good books for another few days while he needed to spend more time on a couple of boats he had in for repair. He also had a bottle of champagne and two glasses, which he presented me and Clover with, telling us to enjoy the rest of the afternoon.
We didn’t head straight back to Puffin Bay, instead sailing out around Puffin Island, catching site of seals and seabirds which Thane named, slowing the boat and turning off the engines.
“We get dolphins too. I’ll start doing a ride out on Sundays when the weather’s right for it and take the girls. Luca’s welcome to come with them – he might need ear plugs because they don’t stop talking at the moment.” He shook his head but he was smiling. “Bit like their mother.”
“They make more sense than their mother,” Clover added. “And you can tell her I said that.”
He shook his head. “I really won’t. I agree with you though.” He steered the boat back to Puffin Bay, asking for a hand getting Fleur’s shopping into his car. Then it was time to get Luca from school and begin the evening.
An evening that was equally amazing and a complete fucking disaster.