Chapter 2
Pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park, I sat there for a long moment, staring at the modest little two bedroom with a small office, two bath I’d lived in for the whole of my entire being.
We kept Christmas lights up all year long.
Mom liked to turn them on when it snowed and stare out the big front window.
“How can you feel blue with the snowflakes dancing and the lights twinkling?” she’d say.
It was so strange how quickly life can change, just turn on a dime and, bam, this is my new reality.
When I stepped inside the house, Dad wouldn’t be around back chopping wood or putting around in his office. Mom wouldn’t be putting on one of her old vinyls and swaying along to them as she dug out the boxes and boxes of Christmas crap she insisted it wasn’t too early to put up right about now.
Scrubbing at my face, I shut my engine off and reached for my purse.
My hand smacked the bag I’d tossed into my passenger seat, the one from Sunny.
Staring at it for a long moment, I shook myself and this fit of the blues threatening to overtake me, and nabbed it up.
Stuffing my cellphone into my purse, I popped the trunk, got out and grabbed as many bags as I could and then headed up the walk.
It boggled my mind, imagining not being here come Christmas. It was hard enough adjusting to Mom and Dad missing on the holidays. Soon, someone else would be calling this place home. Soon enough, this would be yet another string of ugly memories I struggled to forget.
Sometimes life flippin’ sucked. That was it, it just sucked sometimes, end of story, no happy ending, no what now, no and then, period.
Shit or get off the pot, the old man liked to say. Yeah, well, I will, as soon as I’m done with the shitting myself part. Gimme a minute to get over the mind fudge here.
Shaking off the thought, I hustled to open the door and dump my first load of groceries.
Three trips total later and all the groceries put away, I eyeballed that bag on the counter from Sunny.
My gaze darted back towards the fridge.
“I bought too much shit for a one person holiday,” I muttered to myself. I’d bought everything on Mom’s typical Thanksgiving list so I could make all the favorites, one last hurrah.
For a moment, I could pretend they were just out and late, just like I’d kept telling myself the night they didn’t come home.
It felt like yesterday and yet an eternity all at once.
They’ll be home soon, I’d kept telling myself.
It’ll be fine. They’re just late. They got held up at the neighborhood Christmas decorating committee meeting thing or whatever they’d named it and their phones were still on vibrate.
For a moment, sitting before our traditional Thanksgiving feast and perfectly laid out table, like Mom insisted it needed to be, just perfect, I could pretend.
Scowling in what was surely a wonderful imitation of Elm’s curmudgeonly puckered puss at how silly— delusional, whatever you wished to call it— that all sounded, I grabbed the handles of the bag from Sunny and trudged over to the front window.
Flipping the switch for the Christmas lights on, kicking out of my boots, I plopped down onto the window seat, shrugged out of my coat, and begrudgingly peeked inside the bag.
My scowl deepened as I pulled out a small, hand painted envelope nestled in amongst fat bags of those little old fashioned sugar sanded drops hard candies I’m semi obsessed with.
Watermelon, root beer, apple, raspberry, they were all there.
Never bothered with the cinnamon flavored ones. Dad was deathly allergic.
With food obsessions, in order of importance, it was potatoes, any way you could make the tasty buggers, mashed, roasted, boiled, stuck in a stew, potato salad, all of it, taters were the MVP. Everything else fell second, including anything caffeinated. Candy drops were directly after that.
Eyeing the envelope, I stared at it like it might bite me. I couldn’t help it after her comment about the house while we were near my car. What gut aching sensations would the contents of this envelope produce?
“What am I doing?” I muttered. It was as much over the envelope as it was mentally reevaluating my life.
What did I want to do? Not what did my parents want me to do, what they expected of me, what I thought they wanted to hear in a bid to please them after years of trying to get me to do something, nudging, shoving, pushing me in a well-meant direction, and stick with it… No. What did I, me, want to really do?
Whatever it was, I needed to figure it out, and soon, and hope and pray I could pull it off.
Opening the envelope, I paused, took a deep breath, and forged ahead. A letter and another envelope were within. Unfolding the letter, I read it out loud.
“Dearest Pru, we know how hard it can be starting over. We wish you nothing but the best. If you ever need anything, know that you can come to us. You’ve always got a place to land with us, hun.
Beast wishes and all of our love,
The Trees
Beast wishes. What a funny typo, all things considered on the overly hairy front.
No, that’s unkind of me. The Tree men were hairy and grumbly but never beastly, never towards me. They never made fun of my lack of hair, not in any kind of negative way outside of childish teasing I was used to from the boys back then.
Not even king grump Cypress on his worst day would go there, not with any real intent.
They simply chose to remove themselves from my personal life when Elm did. Out with one, out with them all, I guess.
Opening the other envelope, I gaped as I spied a short stack of hundred dollar bills. Were they serious?! There’s a couple grand here, easy.
“What in the world?! I can’t take this! Are they crazy?!”
Shaking my head, I shoved my feet back into my boots, threw on my coat, and stuffed the enormous mega turkey I didn’t need and would be eating off of until it went bad because I’d stupidly blown most of my grocery bill for the next two weeks on this feast into the fridge.
Stuffing the money back into the envelope, I shoved it into my coat pocket. Nabbing up my purse and keys, I was out the door in a flash.
By the time I got back to the store it was getting dark and the small strip of mom and pop stores that served as a sort of town square or unnamed Main Street were starting to close up for the day.
Pulling my car around back, I blew out a deep breath as I threw it in park. As I stepped out and walked towards their store, Birch paused as he loaded their van, a heavy looking container full of odds and ends in his arms.
“Purr-rue,” he grunted out. His lips twitched as he used the silly butchering of my name I didn’t mind one bit. I hadn’t heard it in so long I couldn’t help the little flip my heart gave to hear it. So at least he hadn’t forgotten me completely.
“Britches,” I teased right back, making the male grin like a goob as he got back to it.
Had his teeth seemed sharp? Or was it the lack of good lighting making funny shadows?
Was he going through some kind of vampire phase?
It’s too late for Halloween fun. Brushing the silly thought away, I knocked on the back door and called out to Sunny.
Maybe he had braces and his teeth shifted. What did I know?
“No want!” Cypress called out, popping up from where he was squatting behind a shelf full of candy and fruit leather, presumably restocking it. The jerk had the audacity to wink at me, blue eyes twinkling with amusement at the look I gave him. Someone was in a weirdly good mood, weren’t they.
He’d heard I’m moving. Maybe it made his day, I thought sourly.
Sticking my tongue out at him as I stepped inside, I sing-songed, “Wasn’t asking you.” With an overdone roll of my eyes, I mock grumbled back, “Where’s your ma, Grump?”
“Grumped. Hah!” Cypress smirked, the closest he ever got to smiling, and jerked a thumb towards the office I knew was in the back.
Giving in to the urge riding me, leaning over and messing his mop top of brown and white on my way, I taunted, “You need a haircut. People are going to think you’re part highland cow!”
Birch must have slipped in behind me at some point, the sneaky bastard, bursting out in that rich, deep laugh of his from behind me to jump out next to me and point at his sibling tauntingly. “She say- She say you cow,” Birch howled out between hooting laughs.
Cypress rolled his eyes at Birch but then shocked me by gamely letting out a lowing bellow.
“Muhrooooo!” Cypress’ awful cow impressions and Birch’s laughter followed me as I burst out laughing, shook my head at them, and strode down the hall.
Cy was in a surprisingly good mood tonight.
Must be due to it being closing time. Cypress was anything but a people person.
He used to be, I had to correct. Despite how easy it was to fall right in with them again, it’s been years, they’d all dropped me.
It would be dangerous for my mental health to let them back in so thoroughly again just to be dumped once more.
“What in tarnation is that jiggle-woggin’ awful noise?” Sunny called out as she popped her head out of her office. Spying me headed towards her, the confused look on her face turned into a scowl.
That scowl on her sunshiny, sweet face deepened as I reached into my coat pocket, pulled out her envelope, and held it out to her.
Shaking my head, ignoring the way my stomach dropped at that look on her face, I told her, “I appreciate it, really I do, you have no idea, but I can’t-” My voice started to crack. Pausing, I cleared my throat and tried again. “I can’t accept this.”