Chapter 2 #2
Sunny blinked at that, then did a bit of head shaking of her own.
“Of course you can.” Pushing my outstretched hand and the envelope in it back towards me, she gave me a look that could peel paint.
“We want to help,” she said simply in her don’t-you-dare-say-no-to-me-missy mom voice.
“It’s awful how life’s doing you,” she went on, but I couldn’t stand here and let her take the burden off my shoulders like that, any of it.
A fat chunk of this mess was of my own, uninspired doing.
Where was the burden worrying when Elm went MIA on me? Where was the concern for me all those years ago? I couldn’t help it as the thought entered my brain.
“I haven’t exactly been doing much in the way of helping myself all these years, either,” I admitted with a grimace, then shoved the envelope back towards her. A nervous laugh escaped me when she made a noise of displeasure. My eyes didn’t meet hers. “Could say, serves me right.”
Sunny made an unhappy noise in her throat and pulled me close. Whether I wanted one or not, I was getting hugged again. Hard.
“Bull pucky! Don’t you listen to that nonsense for a minute,” she grumbled.
Pulling back, she gave me a little shake that made me laugh, even as tears filled my eyes, and jerked me right back to her.
Our height difference left me with a face full of her frizzy, wild blonde hair in my face.
God only knows what she was squished up into against me— I was just glad that whatever part of my plushy person that might be, she was still able to hug me without threat of suffocation.
Death by these titties was not something you wanted in your obituary.
“You were looking to find yourself and, Shirl and Garth, they knew that, honey.” Pulling away once more, she clucked her tongue.
“They might have gotten a bit zealous trying to push you in what they thought was the right direction, but that doesn’t mean you can’t change directions and get yourself going where you need to be, hmm? ”
“Thank you,” I said simply, because what else was there to say to that? The sympathetic look in her eyes and her words told me she was well aware of how… kindly pushy Shirl and Garth Dubois could be, and she chose to be polite about it.
Sunny knew my parents very well. She used to be Mom’s best friend until they too slowly grew apart. Come to think of it, her pulling back from Mom was about the same time Elm had begun to pull away from me.
I’d never thought about that before.
Poor Mom. Her and Sunny used to be inseparable.
Despite the fact I felt like warmed over dog poo, I found myself smiling a little. “They could be horrible when they wanted to be,” I said on a laugh.
Sunny laughed along with me. “Oh, but they could, couldn’t they. They really could be, god love ‘em.” Yanked into another bear hug, she murmured, “A fine pair they were, but they loved you something fierce, Pru-ru. You must miss them horribly. I’m so sorry, hun bun.”
“It’s fine,” I lied. Nothing was fine. Everything was complete and absolute crap.
There were so many times this last year, months, these past few weeks as Turkey Day drew near, I wished a hole would open up and just swallow me whole, take me away from all of this.
Clearing my throat, I gently extricated myself from her octopus-like grasp and took a few much needed steps back.
Her sympathy, while very much appreciated, had the unpleasant benefit of making me feel doubly guilty, like I didn’t deserve it.
Didn’t feel like I deserved much of anything right now, and that made it that much harder to accept.
“Listen, I’ve got to get going. Boxes to pack. All that. I really do appreciate what you’re wanting to do, I do, truly.” My hands lifted and I waved her and that dark blue envelope off. “I can’t accept that. I’m sorry. Thank you very much but I can’t.”
Sunny folded her arms over her chest and tried to give me a stare down that would probably work on her boys. Not me.
A laugh startled out of me.
Sunny blinked and her brow puckered.
Shaking my head, I fought the fit of sillies and the stupid smile threatening. I never thought I would be this overcome with emotions feeling mothered to death ever again. Leave it to Sunny, though, who had no issue mothering anyone.
The urge to hug her hit me but I knew her— she’d try to smuggle that envelope into my coat and rush off to close up the store and leave before I could blink, starting this madness all over again bright and early tomorrow, and I’m too tired and worried and about a million other things I really didn’t want to add envelope tag to my plate.
I don’t care if I have to mail that damn envelope back to her, it shows up at my place like a bad penny that’s exactly what I’m going to do, right before I leave town.
She was about as stubborn as I was, maybe then some, but I was firm on this.
No handouts. I needed to do this on my own for once, safety net free.
A part of me, that tiny little voice, whispered to me wondering if it was guilt money, like she felt guilty that I had absolutely no one now. I’d have had Elm, had he stuck around.
Those familiar pangs began to hit. I hated this feeling, loathed it entirely. If I could I’d shove it down hard, pain of holding it all in, ulcers on the horizon, be damned.
The phone rang in the office just then. Perfect timing.
Sunny, still frowning softly, held up a finger, motioning for me to wait, picked up the phone.
I waited until just then to toss her a wave and rush out.
The look she gave me said if she got off the phone in the next two seconds I was going to get an earful.
The sound of Sunny talking politely but quickly on the phone trailed after me as I hurriedly made my way down the hall, past a bickering Birch and Cy, who paused in whatever petty argument they were engaged in, tossing individually wrapped fruit leathers at each other as I passed, to rush out the back door.
Making a beeline for my car, I thought the coast was all clear until I heard Elm call out to me.
Ignoring him, I kept going.
“Ey! Ey! Poo!” Cypress barked after me.
My hackles rose but I didn’t take the bait.
The brat knew I hated when he called me that.
“Ey, Poob! Pooby! Poo-be Doobydoo!” he called louder.
Maybe I’d have been embarrassed, any other day for sure, but it was closing time, not a customer in sight, just me, him, his brothers, no other witnesses, and we weren’t children anymore.
He could Poo-be-dooby-doo me all he liked, the dipwad.
Pube-y, so original. Har-dee-har-har. It just made him look all the more the ass he still was.
“Not funny,” Birch grunted out loudly— loud enough to be heard over his sibling’s caterwauling.
“Ey!” Cy was right on me, his loud boot stomps trailing the sharp clop of my snowboots as I practically ran to my car.
A heavy weight dropped down atop my shoulder, jerking me to a stop.
Jumping at the contact, I whirled around, arms waving about frantically. “Oy! Get your paw offa me, Ferdinand!”
My super savvy windmill ninja moves knocked his hand away from me, the scowl on his face deepening as my brow puckered, my lips thinned, and I end up looking like an off brand imitation of the death glare he was giving me.
“Forgets something, Poo dense?” he grumbled down at me.
A burst of laughter from Birch broke the tension as Cy stared me down and I glared right back.
“She say- Rue say Ferdin-nand, like- like cow,” the youngest of their bunch choked out between loud guffaws.
At least one of us was having a grand ol’ time.
I was hoping my snarky remark would send Cy storming off and pouting, his typical I’ve just pissed him off ‘cause I’m such a big ol’ meanie head response. Then again, we weren’t kids anymore and he’s definitely grown a bit since then.
Tipping my head back to meet his stubborn glare, I had to correct, he’s grown a bit plus some. We used to meet eye to eye, evenly. It made me feel like I was on even ground with the guy. When did he pass me up?
“It’s been lovely slinging insults and whatnot, Clarabelle, but I’ve got a house to pack. Perhaps in our next existence? Rain check? We can bump into each other again… maybe never? That sounds good to me.” Spinning around yet again to leave, I found my upper arm captured this time.
Whirling back around with a snarl, I was all set to give the pushy brute a piece of my mind when Elm stepped up behind him at the sight, making a grumble-growling noise so loud I couldn’t help but wonder for what feels like the thousandth time if it really wasn’t a secret language between them.
Elm’s voice deepened, so deep and rumbling that whatever he was saying was lost to me. He wasn’t happy and he was letting Cy know, from the tone.
Cy grumble-growled in response, then turned to me with a teeth baring noise that had me fighting harder to free myself from his grip.
“Don’t bare your teeth at me, Cypress Rowan Tree!” I snarled right back. “Maybe your mama brought you into this world but, boy, if you don’t release me right now, I’ll help kick ya out of it!” I threatened.
Attention fully on me now, Cy paused mid snarl back at me, ignoring whatever Elm was quietly grumbling at him to his back, blinked, grim expression dissolving into something close to humor, amusement, or perhaps both, and the fool rumbled, “That so?”
His voice was soft, that deep rumble washing over me. I shivered despite it all.
Damn it. He still did that to me. I tried to forget about the odd, shivery tingles my battles with Cy produced. He did so love to nettle me and with Cy he wasn’t about to give up without some kind of verbal sparring.
Lifting my chin, I stubbornly barked, “Wanna find out… fluffy wuffy widdle man?”