Chapter 15
It took me a moment, I was so warm and snug in my bed, to take note that my reluctant mate had vacated the premises.
Rolling over, I not only discovered I was wrapped in Cy’s pelt but another one. One sniff and I smiled and my eyes got watery. Kehl’s mating pelt. It had to be. Sitting up, the crinkle of paper had me picking up the note next to my pillow.
Staring at the missive, my eyebrows winged upward.
Something, I had no idea what that symbol meant, took something else I didn’t know, fruit.
Something or someone took… someone’s fruit?
In an unpracticed hand in English below the symbols the paper read Kehl take Pru’s fruit. Mine. A snort of a laugh left me.
Thinking over the events of last night. My smile slipped.
I had him, didn’t I? I should be happy now… but I wasn’t.
With a groan, I scrubbed at my face. Would I ever be happy? Am I just being a needy bitch? What was wrong with me?!
Releasing my fingers where they were touching something prickly over my eyes, I jerked my hands away from my face with a frown. What the… Carefully, I brushed my fingertips over the lightest prickles of fuzz. Hair? Was I…? No. It must be shed from Kehl. Maybe I was cuddled up to him too tightly.
Sloughing the whole thing off, I washed up and dressed for the day.
By the time Dace popped in, I nearly had breakfast ready.
“How did your thing go?” I asked as she washed and readied for the day and set her pillow and things away.
Dace’s face reddened at my question so I stopped asking any.
“Fine. It was fine,” she said quickly.
She seemed rather jumpy. I could guess why but was reluctant to pry. I wasn’t in the mood to discuss what happened here after she left.
We were halfway through breakfast before she asked, “Did you and Kehl work it out?” right as I blurted, “I don’t know if it’s the alien parts of me calling or what but I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
Dace stopped mid bite and set her eating utensil down. She waited while I collected my thoughts, or maybe my comment threw her off.
Though it took me a minute, I started to spill my guts.
Once I started, it was like I couldn’t stop.
By the time I was done and out with it all, the weird feelings, the general lack of care with my trysts— I mean, who just hops into bed with three men in short order and barely spares a thought about birth control?
! Am I just that stupid when a guy wants me I lose my marbles and throw everything out the window?
What does that say about me? What does my need for Kehl to fill ‘er up and let it stay there say about me, that it means so damn much to me and I can’t even rightly say why? !
“Lo denaii are really… special,” Dace decided on. “From what I’ve seen, when they have a mate they really want to get her pregnant.” Why did Dace look so sad by the idea?
When I stared at her curiously, she continued. “Maybe it’s part of being mates, that you want, you know, all of him like that.”
“Like a biological urge?” I blurted. Good god, now I’m at the whims of my alien biology. Fantastic. Though I’d admit it made me feel a little better, putting it that way. How does one get past that? When I voiced this thought out loud, she had no answer.
Biting at her lip, she looked like she wanted to say something but wasn’t going to.
“What?” I muttered.
“Have you thought about, if it gets real bad, maybe there’s another guy out there for you too? If it’ll help?”
Did I want to just mate with some other beast just to ease the burden?
What if I mated with some other guy, and even got knocked up, but this need riding me to complete my bond with Kehl remained?
What if it just never went away because he flat out refused to cement our mate bond?
What if this got worse? I was already going mad with it. Then what?
“I don’t want anyone else. The idea makes me nauseous.” My stomach churned just thinking about it.
“Maybe don’t try that one then,” Dace cut in quickly. Popping up, she grabbed two slices of bread and crisped them up on the stove without a word. She just knew. Or maybe my stomach was gurgling that loudly.
“I have some things to take care of after breakfast but I was thinking later we could go to the market? You know, if you wanted to.” Dace rarely bought anything there but she talked about the market like it was some fancy bazaar.
Apparently, some beasts had sticks up their butts about trading to unmated females, and the reasonings behind this were stupid to me. Kehl was amongst the list of reluctant sellers. I had no idea if he’s changed his mind about selling to unmated females since then.
A knock on the door sounded and Dace jumped like she’d been goosed.
“Eh? What the gives?” Vurhg called out. A louder bang on the door sounded.
“Sorry.” Dace popped up and rushed for the door. “That’s for me.”
Studying her as she rushed to the door, opened it, and slipped out, I sat there wondering what on Earth Vurhg could be doing here for her.
Dace took so long to come back inside I wondered if she was even still standing out there. She could have left. She did say she had things to do.
When the door finally creaked open, Dace was pink cheeked, flustered. Cradling the bag she’d rushed out with last night that she kept by the door, she had this funny little smile on her face, pinched funny the way she was nibbling on her lip.
“Everything alright?”
“Hmm? What? Oh. Yeah.” Dace nodded absently. “Everything’s fine.”
Putting her things away, she rejoined me at the table.
When she continued to sit there staring off into space, deep in thought, I ventured, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Dace blushed hotly. “No,” she blurted.
Vurhg? Really? “Did you enjoy your… outing?”
Dace’s face was just shy of plum she blushed so hard. Was she holding her breath?
“I’m just messing with you,” I assured her.
The tension riding her, stiffening her skinny frame, eased. “Please don’t tell anyone,” she whispered. “It’s not what you think.”
“Dace, you’re my friend. My very best friend around here. You don’t have to explain anything to me and anything we say in this hut stays in this hut. Know that.” Unable to hold it back, I added, “Just be careful. I don’t trust him.”
Dace smiled then. “I’m being careful.” Just as fast, her smile fell, slipping into a frown. “Can I ask you something?” she asked into the comfortable silence that followed.
“Sure. Shoot.” Walking my dishes to the wash basin, I soaped them up and rinsed them of.
I was just putting my plate in the little drying rack when Dace blurted, “Why doesn’t kissing count?”
Turning to her, plate still in hand, I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Biting at her lip once more, she released it long enough to blurt, “I thought if a beastman kissed you it meant he wanted you for his mate, that it counted, but kisses don’t count, apparently.”
This was news to me. Kisses don’t count?
“I wasn’t aware,” I mumbled faintly. What did it mean if he didn’t claim me completely? Did that not count either?
Picking at a spot on the table, she stared down at it as she blurted, “Why did Berkie kiss me if it didn’t count?” Shoulders slumping, she divulged, “He doesn’t talk to me like he wants to be my mate, and whenever I try to ask him about us he changes the subject…”
“Do you like Berkr?” He was kind of an ass. I was trying to tread softly. They had some kind of something going on. “I mean, do you want him for a mate? Do you want to marry Berkr?”
Picking at the sleeve of her coat, she refused to meet my gaze. “Sometimes I don’t even think he likes me.”
Considering the bullshit he was spewing shortly before they kissed, I couldn’t say I’d be all that eager to hitch myself to someone like him.
“What do you want?” I asked her.
“I want a husband that loves me more than anything, that wants to have lots of babies with me and loves them no matter what,” she mumblingly replied.
Reaching across the table, I gave her hand a squeeze. “You should settle for nothing less.”
Voice barely above a whisper, she admitted, “I had nowhere to go last night. It was too dark to go all the way to Joanie’s place up on the hill and I gave back the key to the other big house.
” Pausing, she darted a quick, testing look my way.
“I wanted you to have time to work things out with Kehl.” Swallowing thickly, she continued, “I ran into Vurhg and tricked him into letting me sleep in his hut. He told me kissing doesn’t count for mates because it’s a human thing.
” Licking her lips, she opened her mouth to speak again but kept stopping herself.
“There’s more?” I didn’t mean to say that thought aloud. It just popped out.
“No,” she replied quickly. Too quickly.
Tilting my head, studying her, I asked, “Are you sure? You don’t look sure.”
Hopping up, Dace let out a nervous laugh. “I’m sure!” Rushing about, she mumbled, “Wow! Look at the time! I’m late!”
In a flurry of movement, she bundled up for the cold and rushed out the door, leaving me frowning after her in confusion.
God, I hoped she wasn’t kissing or doing anything of the like with someone like Vurhg. He was just as bad, maybe worse, than Berkr.
Was Vurhg telling the truth, though? Did kissing not count?
What about other kinds of kissing?
My head swam with my wayward thoughts.
Settling in at the table, I distracted myself working on the translations for Dace’s book. By the time my stomach began to rumble, I was nearly done with the whole thing.
Realizing Dace hadn’t shown up to meet up and go to market together like we’d planned, I figured she’d probably lost track of time and let it be. We could go another time.