Chapter 17
seventeen
Three nights of Willow falling asleep in my arms and I know I’m done.
She’s ruined me for any other woman, and I’m more than happy with that reality.
She asked me to sleep in the master bedroom, the one I designed to perfectly match the subtle hints she’s dropped over the years.
This was always supposed to be our space, never anyone else’s.
Tonight, Jaxon and I are attempting to cook dinner before she gets home from work, and the whole experience is so domestic.
He’s telling me about his upcoming graduation, and I’m thinking about all the ways I want to help him make his dreams come true.
I’ve never really imagined being anyone’s dad before, and I know Jaxon is practically a man now.
But I want to be here to support him in any way he’ll let me.
“I really feel like art school is the way to go for me. I mean, I know my mom isn’t exactly happy with that, but when I think about the future, I feel like that’s where I see myself.” Jaxon says, chopping vegetables and dropping them into a bowl.
“Your mom loves you, Jax. She just wants you to be happy, no matter what that means. Yes, you are incredibly smart. And I’m sure your mom has probably made jokes about you not wasting your potential, but she would always cheer you on. You know that.” I’m not sure how encouraging I should be here.
“I just feel like…look at everything my mom has done for me. Look how hard she’s worked to build some semblance of a normal life for me.
She’s always protected me, shielded me from every bad thing she possibly could.
Wouldn’t I just be throwing all her hard work away to give up on the life she dreams about for me just for art?
” He doesn’t look up from the cutting board, but I can see his brows furrowed.
This is eating at him, and I think it’s totally unnecessary.
Willow loves Jaxon more than she loves herself.
I truly believe she would celebrate any choice he made, even if she didn’t quite agree.
“You’re right. Your mom has worked her ass off and sacrificed so much to give you the life you always dreamed of.
She did that for you. So you didn’t end up in the same vicious cycle of bullshit and abuse with your father.
If you think for even one second she would want you wasting that opportunity on something that didn’t bring you the most joy you could possibly find, you’re wrong.
” Pulling the dish of marinated steaks out of the fridge, I lean against the counter just staring at him.
He won’t look up from his task, and I know he’s lost in thought.
I’m right. We both know it. Willow isn’t a controlling mom by any means.
Ultimately, we both know the reason she left Jaxon’s dad in the first place was to give Jaxon and herself the life they really deserve.
No matter what that looks like. I reach for the dish to take it to the grill, but his words stop me in my tracks.
“She’s different with you,” he says quietly.
“She’s…softer. Like she doesn’t have to be on guard every second of the day.
As shitty as it sounds, I’ve never seen my mom relaxed.
We’ve lived our entire lives like we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But here with you, she feels safe. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get the chance to see my mom that way, Beckett.
I figured we would be living in fight or flight until my dad found us and made me watch as he killed her.
I know that sounds twisted as fuck, but it’s what I always thought would happen.
That I didn’t have a choice but to follow in my father’s footsteps because he wouldn’t ever allow any other course.
But you gave us a different direction. And for the first time I’m actually thinking about what I want to make out of this life.
” His confession burns through my chest. For a child, even a young man, to live that way is fucking disgusting.
“That man is not your dad. He may have had a hand in creating you, but he has nothing to do with the man you’re becoming.
It’s not in spite of him. That’s beneath you.
This life is for you, Jaxon. No one else.
That is the life your mother fought for you to have.
” He nods solemnly, and the sound of my phone ringing disrupts the emotional moment between us.
Blocked caller flashes across the screen, and my gut clenches.
“Take these to the grill, and I’ll be right out to help you. I have to answer this.”
He smirks, carrying the dish outside and shutting the door. I swipe to answer quickly, concern already building inside my chest.
“This is Helo.” I say, already knowing who calls from a blocked number each and every time.
“Mr. Hayes. This is Sebastian. I think we may have a problem with our little arrangement. I’ve had a man following your shop girl.
Very few problems, he says she’s really quite boring.
However, he doesn’t believe he is the only one following your woman.
” Arsenio sounds uninterested, and I’m sure he has better things to do with his time and energy than police my personal life.
“What do you mean? He saw someone else trailing her?” Putting the phone on speaker, I pull up the camera feeds at the shop.
“Two different someones to be exact. A man, greasy, disheveled, drives a piece of shit car and takes pictures of her from a distance. The worst surveillance I’ve ever heard of, honestly.
Whoever directed him to do so obviously doesn’t care about his sloppy behavior.
I believe it may be in your best interest, and in the best interest of Miss Hawthorne, to venture out of town for a few days.
Let things die down and see where this shadow of hers ends up.
Would you like me to facilitate an extended vacation of sorts?
” His Spanish accent sounds so professional as he tells me to leave town and avoid surveillance.
I really do live the strangest life sometimes.
“That won’t be necessary, thank you. I will handle this accordingly. Any way you could push through a quick flight plan to Georgia with the FAA in the next hour?” I tell him, knowing where I want to take her that could be safe. Is anywhere truly safe?
“Very well, consider it done. I will give Mateo the rest of the weekend off. Let me know when you plan to return and I will send him back.” Sebastian hangs up without another word.
“What was that about?” Jaxon asks, his voice startling me. I never even heard the door open.
“That? Oh, nothing. Just business.” I deflect, but he’s smarter than any of us give him credit for.
“Your having my mom followed?” He asks, more curious than angry.
“I just want to protect her, Jaxon. I can’t be everywhere at all times.” I tell him, leaning against the bar and crossing my arms.
He nods, understanding flashing in his eyes. Most people fight against what they know is right and what society thinks they should do. I think I was born without that gene, but I recognize the struggle for other people.
“I want her protected, Beckett. I really do. But I watched my dad take advantage of her for years. He lied to her, he abused her, he never gave her a choice or a say in any part of our lives. I know you would never lift a hand to her, but don’t you feel like she deserves to have a say now?
” His words feel like acid against my skin.
I know he’s right, I should’ve just told her from the beginning that I was having her followed.
But I feared I would face some argument I didn’t have the patience or the time for, when all I want is to keep her safe.
“I understand the conflict you must feel, but it’s not negotiable.
Her safety is all that matters, Jaxon.” The need to defend myself rears its ugly head as the emotions boil inside me.
“I want to tell her. I don’t want to start our relationship off with any lies or half-truths.
But we have to get out of here for a few days.
I was thinking about taking your mom somewhere special. I’d like it if you came with us.”
“I’m not so sure I should go. I feel like Mom would probably be suspicious with everything that’s already been going on.
If you randomly suggested we all leave town, that doesn’t scream vacation to me.
But I’ll be fine staying with Breaker until you guys get back.
” He says, and disappointment settles in my gut.
I understand where he’s coming from, but I don’t ever want to make him feel excluded.
He stares back at me, a heaviness in his eyes that wasn’t there moments ago.
“You say you want her strong and safe, that you love the parts of her no one else has ever appreciated, right? This doesn’t feel like that.
This feels like you see her as the same weak woman my dad always did, easily manipulated into whatever position you want her in.
Even with the best intentions, it’s still a lie.
And I won’t lie for you, not to her. Consider this though.
She’s spent years looking over her shoulder, you’re a dumbass if you think she doesn’t know you’re having her tailed.
” He walks back outside without another word.
Guilt creeps in. I don’t want to keep anything at all from Willow. But will she see me as the same controlling, manipulative person she escaped from years ago? Logically, I know she wouldn’t. But logic isn’t exactly functioning in my mind right now.