14. Dillon
FOURTEEN
DILLON
I don’t want to make assumptions. I stand with her in my arms knowing what I want with Maritza, but not sure if she believes it.
The sliding door opens to the porch and Hollis comes out in his pajama pants. Seeing our embrace, he smiles as he scurries over to us joining in the hug. The sun sets with the two people I care about the most in the world in my arms.
For the first time in what seems like forever, I can say everything is right for me in this moment.
“Zizi,” Hollis says stepping back, “do you think when we say my prayers tonight, I could talk to my mom?”
Maritza steps out of my arms and I instantly feel the loss. “Yes, buddy, I do. I’ll go get in my pajamas, brush my teeth, wash my face, and then we can do prayers, and I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
I remain on the porch as my son heads inside to his room and Maritza goes about her nighttime routine. I don’t know how I would have managed Hollis if she wasn’t here. She gives him the comfort of a mother and helps him navigate all of his emotions regarding his mom. Things I struggle to understand.
Moving inside my house, I settle on the couch in the quiet. One thing my time in the Marines taught me is to be comfortable in silence. I find my thoughts to be clearer when I take time to embrace moments without distraction. I don’t know how much time passes, but I do notice when Maritza emerges from Hollis’ room. I pat the seat beside me on the couch.
“You okay?” I ask as she takes the seat beside me. I like having her close. Even though there are two chairs she could have sat in, I take it as a good sign she chose to be by me. I still don’t know why she is out here. Normally, she falls asleep right behind Hollis. I don’t wake her because selfishly I find comfort having her here.
“You never wake me,” she confirms what we both know to be true. “Why? It’s been weeks, over a month even, and you don’t wake me to go home. You let me stay.”
I twist a bit in order to face her on the couch and she does the same. “It probably sounds crazy, but Maritza, there is something about knowing you are here, my son is here, and I can keep you both safe. Things changed for me in Florida. The reality that I care in ways I knew but pushed down are feelings I won’t deny anymore.”
She reaches out and puts her hand on my knee. I drop my hand to lace our fingers together.
“I don’t know how to do this,” she tells me honestly. “I haven’t had a serious relationship since high school, and Dillon you have a son, this has to be something neither of us take lightly for him.”
“I don’t take anything about family lightly. My mother left me at my aunt and uncle’s house before I even started kindergarten. You have more time as a role model for my son than I ever even spent with my own mother. It gave me a distorted view on love and family for a long time. I’m older now and I know what I want is a family with you. I don’t want to push. I want to take things slow and do this the right way because it would kill me to fuck this up.”
We sit together, facing each other on my couch, her head rests on the back of the couch, while I hold mine in my right hand. My left hand is interlaced with her right hand on my thigh as we don’t speak but embrace the moment.
“Dillon, I’m a mess inside,” she whispers.
“Baby, I dropped my entire shit homelife on you ten years ago and you haven’t once given a second thought to stepping in for me. Nothing about you can ever turn me off or away.”
I lean over and press my lips to her forehead before quietly muttering, “you get what you give in this life. You gave me unconditional love in a way I can see it, feel it, and embrace it. You have taught me stability simply by being you. I’m in this, Maritza for the long game.”
I shift releasing her hand but guiding her to lay draped over me on the couch. Holding her in the quiet of night soothes the part of me that has been on edge for far too many years. In time we are both relaxed together and asleep.
Morning comes all too soon as we wake up and get going. With a quick kiss, she takes Hollis to school while I head out for a quick meeting before work.
The ride over I’m not nervous as I expected to be. However, sitting in his driveway right now, I can feel a knot in the pit of my stomach. After removing my helmet, I sit on my bike trying to think of the words to start the conversation. Apparently, I sit too long because the front door opens, and Ruby emerges locking eyes with me. He makes his way over as I climb off my bike.
“Karma, you alright brother?” He asks studying me, “Hollis? Maritza?”
“No problems, Ruby. Wanted to talk to you.”
He looks up to the sky like he is seeking some answer, “thought this shit would happen one day. Wasn’t ready for it ten years ago, not ready for it now.”
Oh fuck.
“Ruby, you know things have been chaotic to say the least. I’m not one to chit chat or drag something out.”
He laughs, “right now you are. Look man to man, the answer is no.”
I’m stunned. “Are you fuckin’ with me?”
He shakes his head.
“Ruby, I love her. I want to do this right by you and her. That’s why I’m here before taking things any further I wanted to talk to you.”
He reaches out putting a hand on my shoulder. His grip is firm but not painful. “She is my world, Karma. She made me a father first. Before Mariella, before RJ, there was Maritza. I watched her stretch her mother’s belly to come into this world a ball of energy. She has grown into a beautiful woman. She was a gift to me to be her father, and she’s a gift to the man she will marry.”
“I agree, she is a gift. There isn’t another woman like her.”
He squeezes my shoulder, “Karma, you reap what you sew. You’ve been in the club for years. You are a man I want at my back. You are loyal. And true to your name you deliver what goes around. You are the what comes around.”
“I want to give her a good life. Ruby, she is good and deserves the best, I want to give her that.”
He sighs, “you can’t.”
Anger builds, “why? Why am I not good enough for your daughter?”
“I never said you weren’t good enough. But you have baggage. Your problems almost got her killed.”
In an instant I see red, I turn grabbing his cut and bunching it in both hands. Face to face, I growl. “You think I don’t fuckin’ know that. But clue in, that shit ran deeper than just Anna. Having that moment where I didn’t know if I would have another moment with Maritza showed me exactly what I want in this life.” I shove him back releasing his cut, “her.”
He adjusts his cut shaking off my aggression. “Remember when you got those rockers?” he inquires, and I nod. “You said, this is everything. To have a family.”
“I did say that, and I meant it then and now. The Hellions are my family including you, brother.”
“You can’t wear the cut and have my daughter too.” He states firmly.
My world spins out of control. “Fuck you! How can you of all people stand here and tell me choose between love and family? The Hellions, we are fucking family. Maritza is part of that whether she’s with me or not. There is no way I’m giving her up but fuck you to threaten my cut over her. You got problems, brother, big ones. That shit is not how this shit works. I didn’t put in my time to earn these patches to have a pissing match over the woman I love and my club. Especially when she’s so engrained in this life, she lives it as hard as any of the brothers. So fuck you, Ruben Castillo.”
He keeps a stern face, “and what if I take it to the table? Call a sermon and Tripp asks, my daughter or your cut, who do you choose?”
I study him in complete shock that he would ask me this. “I choose both. This is her world; this is my world. She may not wear the cut, but she’s part of it. She may not have a place at the table, but she has a place with me, on my bike, and in everything I do. If you can’t handle that, take it to the table.”
He lets out a laugh before grabbing my hand to yank me to him in a half hug. As he slaps my back, “that’s all I want to know. You fuck around, you make her cry even once, I will make you pay. Cut or no cut, Hellions or not, I’ll fuck you up. For every tear that falls from her eyes, I’ll shed your blood in equal drops. Keep her happy and safe, brother.”
I’m speechless as he releases me.
“You have my blessing.”
“What the fuck? I was ready to choke you.” I tell him the truth.
He gives me a smirk. “I know. That’s what makes you Karma. Always reactive to give back whatever is given to you. She’s gonna love you on a deep level, but you will love her back even deeper, it’s who you are. She’s gonna make you happy and you will repay her in that happiness tenfold. You’re a good man Dillon and I know Maritza is safe with you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I stutter.
“Don’t say shit, you’re late for work, and she’s gonna worry,” he dismisses me walking back towards his house. “I’m gonna go give Vida the good news. You finally see what we have seen for a very long time. I look forward to your future, son.”
I look at my watch and I’m not late for work yet, but if I catch any traffic I will be. Since she took Hollis to school for me, if I’m not there she will indeed worry.
Finally, I get to have it all love and family. Shit doesn’t get better than this.
“Why did my mother call and tell me they are picking Hollis up from school today?” Maritza asks me after we settle in at her desk to have lunch.
This is a perk of having her work so close to where I am.
“I told you I want to do this right.”
“How do my parents know?”
I smile proudly. One thing I know about all of the Castillo’s is family is everything. “Had a talk with your dad, got his blessing.”
She beams and instantly, I know I want to do everything I can for the rest of my days to keep that smile on her face.
The day passes with easy jobs. I take off a little early to shower, change, and get my bike. Rolling up at closing time, she smiles as she locks the door. I stay on my bike and watch her make her way to me. Reaching over, I pop my saddle bag to retrieve the helmet. As I hand it to her, she looks it over and realizes. The stickers are hers because the helmet is hers.
“He gave you this?” She asks and I nod.
“I told you I want to do this right. Your dad dropped it off earlier. If we’re gonna do this then your helmet belongs in my bike, his words.”
She studies me. “You are serious.”
I nod. “Too much of life has passed us by trying to deny an attraction because things were crazy in my life. A chaos you accepted like no one else ever could. You were made to be mine Maritza. I am serious about this. I gotta know, are you ready to ride with me?”
She smiles as she lifts her helmet securing it to her head, “God was giving me a sign when I braided my hair earlier today.”
I reach out and pull her closer. “You were meant to be my ol’ lady.”
She gives a sigh, “you are hard to resist Dillon Jacoby.”
I give her ass a pat before holding out my hand to help her climb on.
She laughs and swats it away, “I’ve been riding with my dad since I could fit in a damn helmet. Pffft, I know what I’m doing.” At this statement, she squeezes my shoulder and climbs in behind me like a seasoned pro. With her front pressed to my back and her arms around my waist, I feel like the other piece of my puzzle is in place. This is how it’s meant to be for me.
I fire up my Harley and guide us out of the office parking lot. Highway fifty-eight is an open stretch. While there can be traffic, tonight there is very little. I twist the throttle as she relaxes into me. At the light where we would normally go over the high-rise bridge to the beach, I take a left and keep riding. We pull into the small drive in that has been in the area since the fifties according to the locals. She lets out a squeal before hopping off my bike. I drop the kickstand and climb off myself.
“I love El’s! I haven’t been here in forever.”
Reaching out, I unclasp her helmet and remove it along with my own and secure them in my saddle bags before taking her by the hand to the picnic tables they have to the side. While the scenery isn’t much at El’s Drive In, with a hospital to the back and highway to the front, the place has a reputation for the best burgers in town. I don’t need a view because I can spend all my time looking at her.
“How was your day?” I ask as we sit across from each other.
“Well, let’s see,” she says with a sly smile, “I called a couple of units that are late. Sent the prospect to put the overlocks on for me and had lunch with a hot mechanic.”
I laugh, “a hot mechanic, huh?”
She giggles as the waitress approaches to take our orders.
“Have you had El’s before?”
I shake my head.
“Dillon, you’ve lived here like ten years or more, how have you not had El’s?”
I shrug, “I’ve been here over ten years but lived closer to base before that. Didn’t have the time to go out to eat much, I was always working.”
At first, she looks sad, I reach over to lift her chin up. “Don’t let my past invade tonight. Anna is gone and I’m glad I haven’t had El’s before so I can have the total experience with you.”
She reaches up to hold my hand. “I know Anna is gone. I just hate that you haven’t seen so much of the hidden gems of the area.”
“Just gives you a reason to show me the good ones.” I lift her hand to my lips and kiss it softly.
Our conversation goes easy until the food arrives. We eat and the meal does not disappoint. After sharing an ice-cream sundae, we put our helmets back on and hit the road. The way home, I go through the bridge to Atlantic Beach. Riding up the coast on this two-lane stretch, the salt in the air from the ocean, her tight against me, I breathe.
There is a freedom to riding a motorcycle. The way the air kisses your skin, every noise is heightened as life literally exists all around you. Unlike being caged in a car, every part of you is exposed.
Kind of like falling in love. Every piece of me is exposed now. My failures and all are laid bare. Still Maritza holds onto me. With that thought, I twist the throttle taking us back to her condo.
When I pull to a stop, she leans in hugging me close, “you’re taking me to my house?”
I place my hands over hers on my waist, “baby, I told you I want to do this right. It’s our first date. I’m gonna walk you to your door. I’m gonna kiss you breathless. I’m gonna watch you walk in and wait until I hear the sound of your deadbolt lock engaging. Then I’m still gonna stand there leaning against the doorframe smiling about having a great fuckin’ night. After a few moments, I will get on my bike and go get Hollis before going home. I’ll see you in the morning. We can go to breakfast the three of us. I know Hollis will be missing you.”
Satisfied with my answer, she gives me a squeeze and climbs off. “I know a great diner on fifty-eight we can eat at.”
“I love that idea,” I reply climbing off as she removes her helmet.
“I can’t believe my dad gave you this.” She states holding it.
I extend my hand for it.
“I can take it inside.”
I shake my head. “Baby, if you’re gonna be on a bike, it’s gonna be mine. Never had anyone ride bitch before until you, tonight. This spot,” I pat the seat behind me, “belongs to you. That helmet goes in that saddlebag for you. Get me?”
She bites her bottom lip, “Is this for real?” she asks more to herself before she steps in and puts the helmet in the saddlebag herself.
After removing my own lid, I walk her to the door where I kiss her breathless before watching her go inside. While my dick wants nothing more than to take her home to my bed, there is something to be said for dating especially as a man in my thirties.
Everything has more meaning.