Chapter 5
5
“Wait, wait, wait,” Macy laughs. “Can you repeat that?”
“They asked if I would be comfortable having semi-monthly meetings with the owner’s psychic and functional healing coach.”
“You’re kidding?! I thought G&K had some wild practices, but we’re a stuffy corporation in comparison to that.”
I groan and lay my head on the table at our favorite restaurant near campus. I am glad she suggested we meet here. I didn’t realize how hungry I would be after that disastrous interview. I forgot to eat dinner last night and breakfast this morning, stressed from preparing to meet with Virgo, the start-up apparel brand whose offices I could not get out of fast enough. The company was founded by a couple who relocated here from California and let’s just say they are still operating as if they are in the southern California desert. It’s one of the many interviews my dad set up for me .
“I want a job,” I say. “But not that badly. Surely there is a better fit out there.”
“Have you given any more thought to the Ryders’ offer?”
Lifting my head, I eye her appreciatively. “I never told you about that.”
“You didn’t? Are you sure? I mean how else would I know.” Avoiding my gaze, Macy plays with the straw of her Dirty Diet Dr Pepper. Humming when she takes a sip. I have no idea how she drinks that. It gives me flashbacks to drinking too much Malibu freshman year. I’m not letting that distract me, though.
“Macy . . . ”
“What?”
“Macy Anita Martin!”
“Fine! Lainey may have texted me about it and asked me to pressure you a tiny bit. But I wasn’t planning to push. I only wanted to see if you were considering it. It’s a great option for you.”
“Et tu, Mace? Lainey has been blowing me up about it.”
“She’s excited. You can’t blame her for wanting you to join her on tour. She may be the extrovert but making new friends isn’t all that fun when they’re all you have. Trust me.”
“Aw, do you miss us, Macy?” I tease. She rolls her eyes, but the way she avoids eye contact is telling.
“Maybe a little. I know it’s part of growing up, but everything has changed. You and Lainey got to avoid it for a bit, but with the hours I work and Alexis moving in with Aiden, I miss the days when we didn’t have to plan lunch weeks in advance.”
“I know, babe. I hate it, too. It wasn’t the same without the two of you this past year. I promise once I get this job thing settled I will get into a groove and you’ll see me all the time.”
“Don’t worry about me. Worry about you. Lainey’s needs aside, I think you should consider the job. It’s a great opportunity for you. Eliza, the guy’s PR manager is kind of a bitch, but the tour manager is cool and I have only heard nice things about the merchandising manager. It will be great on your resume.”
“I don’t know.” It's good to hear the team is nice. Macy works at G&K, the same agency the guys are signed to. She’s on the sports management side, but it’s a small enough company that everyone is friendly.
“What’s holding you back?”
Taking a sip of my own drink, I consider how much to tell Macy. The four of us are all incredibly close, but push comes to shove, it’s me and Lainey and her and Alexis. I trust her to keep my secret, but I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position. This secret has been weighing on me for years, though. It would be nice to share it with someone.
Taking a deep breath, I decide to reveal my truth. “What I’m about to tell you does not leave this café. Don’t tell Lainey. Don’t tell Alexis. Don’t even tell your diary.”
“Got it,” she nods enthusiastically.
“I’m worried about Jack.”
“Worried about Jack, how?”
This is harder to admit than expected. I may as well rip off the Band-Aid. “I kinda sorta used to have a crush on him and maybe had a moment with him at the bar the other night.”
“You have a crush on Jack?!” she yells. When I widen my eyes at her volume. With a sheepish grin, she repeats more quietly, “You have a crush on Jack.”
“Had,” I emphasize. “When we were younger, I had a crush on him. Can you blame me? He has that charming golden retriever energy. he has the ability to make you feel like the most important person in the world when he shifts his attention your way. You’ve heard their songs. Who wouldn’t swoon over the men who can write those lyrics?”
“You say ‘men’ but you only had a crush on one of them, right? This isn’t a why choose situation?”
“Oh my god, no! Only Jack. The other brothers are safe. ”
“And what moment did you have the other night?”
My cheeks heat simply thinking about it. When I saw Jack at Palmetto’s, I was surprised that all the attraction I thought I’d let go of years ago came rushing back. I’m embarrassed to say that in a moment of weakness I even thought about hitting on him when we were alone.
“I ran into him when I was leaving the bathroom and I may have felt up his biceps. Until he mentioned the tour, I was even considering flirting with him. I thought I was over my old crush, but seeing him reignited some of those buried emotions. Which is annoying because I know better than anyone how men in the music industry are. And Lainey would go mental if I ever hooked up with one of her brothers.”
“First, who says it would just be a hookup? Lainey would love it if you became her actual sister.”
I shoot her an expression that says I’m not convinced. It would be cool to be my bestie’s sister-in-law and an official Ryder, but that is not in the cards for me. There is no way Jack and I could be together.
“Second, not all men are like your dad. The way they treat Lainey, I doubt any of them are hardcore players and you know their mom wouldn’t stand for them treating a woman badly. Remember her reaction when Jack ‘dumped’ that popstar in a voicemail?”
“I forgot about that!” I gasp before laughing. “It took years for me to be able to listen to her music. The jealousy I held toward her was unreal. That should have been enough to convince my teenage self to give up on the man. If only I’d been that smart. I wouldn’t have gotten my feelings hurt later.”
“That sounds juicy. Spill!” she demands, shoving homemade chips in her mouth as if she’s snacking on popcorn at a movie. I’m glad she’s enjoying this confession. Reliving my embarrassing interactions with the middle Ryder brother has me in knots. One memory sticks out that was particularly embarrassing.
“You know when you’re sixteen and think you can land any guy with the right outfit and prearranged scenario?”
“Absolutely.” She nods in agreement, motioning me to continue.
“When the guys’ show had came to an end, they spent a lot of time at their parents’ house while they decided on their next move. I was doing my best to seem as grown up as all the girls I saw Jack with in the tabloids, I even convinced my mom to highlight my hair. I thought I was cute.
“One day, I was hanging out with Lainey by the pool when we wanted some snacks. I volunteered to get some, hoping to run into Jack which I did. He and his cousin Rhett were hanging out on the patio. In the tiniest bikini I could confidently wear, I batted my eyelashes and lamely asked him if he’d been working out because he was ‘extra buff’ lately.”
“You did not!” She gasps before her face washes with sympathy. “Oh, sweetie.”
“I know. I know. Anyway, when I went inside to grab the snacks, I realized the window was open and I could eavesdrop on their conversation. I missed the beginning but what I did hear was them talking about me. Rhett said it was cute how I kept trying to flirt with Jack and that if he were him, he’d go for it. Jack brushed him off saying I was just a kid, which in retrospect, I can see. He was twenty and fresh off dating a model. I was a high schooler he’d known since she was nine.”
“Fair. We stan a non-predatory man,” Macy agrees.
“He didn’t leave it at that, though. Jack took it a step further and said I was his little sister’s nerdy friend who spent more time in the fictional world than the real one.
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. It was especially hurtful since for my birthday he had given me a limited edition set of my favorite series. It was signed by the author and everything. I was sure it meant something, especially with the heartfelt card gave me with a wildflower crushed inside it.”
“A wildflower?”
“When we first met, I was picking them in the field behind our houses. I was touched that he remembered that. It’s a core memory for me but to think it was for him, too. . . You can guess how my imagination blew it way out of proportion. Turns out he thought of me as the weird girl who had forced her way into his family by befriending his sister.”
Telling Macy the story of how we met feels like spilling a lifelong secret. I wasn’t supposed to be outside of my yard alone. I don’t think he told Lainey because it wasn’t mentioned when we met or ever since. He would teasingly call me ‘Wildflower’ from time to time, but never in front of anyone else.
“The last thing I heard was Rhett saying he liked smart girls. I was so embarrassed I ran straight home and told Lainey I got my period.”
Macy’s shoulders shake as she tries to hold in her laughter and maintain a sympathetic expression. Obviously, I’m over it, but a girl never forgets her first rejection.
“Not his finest moment,” she finally replies. “I can see how that would sting. But that was seven years ago, El. You’ve both changed a lot since then. You’re a gorgeous college graduate and he’s almost thirty and probably thinking about settling down.”
That’s true. The change from sixteen to twenty-three is huge, physically and mentally. I have to imagine despite his playful mask he is more mature now than he was at twenty. I know I am different and it’s only been three years for me.
“It’s whatever. I’m sure he doesn’t remember the conversation. But every time I saw him after that, all I could think about was him saying he saw me as a sister while I was doodling hearts around our names.”
That isn’t what I was thinking the other night though. The other night when he wrapped his arms around my waist, the only thought in my head was how to keep them there. He seemed flustered at our interaction, but that was probably me projecting.
“You two weren’t giving off sibling vibes when I found you in that hallway,” Macy states with a smirk. “The sexual tension was thiccccc.”
“Yeah, right. He’ll always see me as the good little girl next door.”
“There is nothing wrong with a well placed good girl.”
I jaw drops at her mumbled admission. Macy is a total badass. I wouldn’t expect her to be into praise. In fact, I’d expect her to be the one giving it. She has a ‘fuck with me, I’ll fuck you right back’ vibe that I do not.
Amused by my silence she continues. “You know what would shake your good girl image and save you from anymore interviews with your dad’s friends?”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Going on tour with a band of rock stars.”
I groan knowing she’s right as Macy smiles victoriously. “Tell Lainey I accept commission in the form of cash, check, or Sonic gift cards.”
After lunch, I decide to take a walk through Hillsboro, one of my favorite areas in Nashville. As I stroll, I weigh the pros and cons of accepting Declan’s offer. Tonight when I get home, I’ll pull out all my colored pens and make a proper list. But this will do for now.
Pro: Time to find the right direction and not settling for the first job I’m offered .
Pro: Extended sleepover with Lainey.
Con: Excess time around Jack and more potential embarrassment.
Pro: Traveling to cities I’ve never been to.
Con: Living out of a suitcase on a tour bus.
Pro: Experience working with an industry pro I could never get elsewhere.
Pro: A once and lifetime experience.
Dammit, the pros seem to be winning out. Can I do this? Can I leave my life for three months to travel around with the Ryder Brothers? I’m tempted but is it another attempt at putting off the inevitable?
Lost in thought, I realize I’ve stumbled onto a block I’ve never explored before and ended up in front of a women’s boutique. Noticing a suede fringe skirt in the window, I pop in to check it out. Once inside, I am delighted by a selection of western chic clothing that would all be perfect if you were attending a country concert or twenty.
“Hello. Can I help you find anything?” the middle-aged woman behind the counter asks.
“The skirt in the window, do you have any more?”
“We surely do. What size do you need?”
After telling her my size, she scoots to the opposite corner of the store and grabs it.
“Buying this for something in particular?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Her eyebrows raise in question.
“I’ve been invited to work on a country tour. I’m not sure if I’m going to accept, though.”
“Why on earth not? If I was as young and as cute as you, I’d take that offer in a minute! Heck, I’d take it today if I wasn’t planning to sell my shop and move closer to my grandkids.”
“You’re selling this place?” I ask. The store itself is a little outdated and cluttered but it has a great location and size. This place will be snapped up quickly.
“I’ve been haunting these halls since the 80s. It’s time to give someone else a shot. I’m in no hurry, though. I want to make sure I sell to someone who will appreciate it and not a developer who will put up another townhouse or stuff office building.”
We chat for a few minutes before I head into the dressing room to slide into the skirt and a distressed tee Misty insists I try on with it. She wasn’t kidding when she said they would match perfectly. I thought the outfit would make me appear as if I was trying too hard, but instead it’s effortlessly chic.
“Oh honey,” she coos when I step out. “You need to get this outfit and wear it around the first country heartthrob you can.”
“You think?”
“Absolutely. I’ll even give you the friends and family discount.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I argue.
“Nonsense. That skirt deserves this to be worn as much as you deserve to wear it. Don’t deprive the skirt of its destiny.”
Shaking my head at her theatrics, I purchase the skirt and top along with a few other items to help round out my tour wardrobe. I guess Misty and my new fringe skirt made the choice for me. I shoot Lainey a text telling her the good news.
1:47 PM
[picture of the outfit] Does this outfit make me look like I’m on tour with the Ryders?
Lainey
You’re in?
I’m in. I need to let your brothers know.
I’m with them now. They said they’ll have Teri reach out with the details. When I get home tonight, we can plan out all the things we’re going to do.
I’m so excited you’re going on this adventure with me!
Me too.
And I mean it. I don’t know what the next few months are going to bring, but having a temporary plan takes a weight off my shoulders. I’ve got three months to get my shit together and I’m determined to make the most of it.