Chapter 16
16
“I can’t believe that they kicked Misha off!” Alexis gripes, outraged. Her favorite contestant was kicked off Singing Sensation this week, and she is less than pleased.
“Well who else could they have gotten rid of?” Macy questions. “Josiah has the voice of an angel and Amy has the entire state of Arkansas calling in to back her up. He shouldn’t have chosen such a hard song. I know he wanted to impress the judges, but he flew too close to the sun and got burned.”
I laugh at my friends as they volley back and forth on the merits of a classically trained opera singer choosing All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor as his song of the week. The pair are watched together at Macy’s apartment before calling me to discuss the results. Lainey was supposed to join us but got called to assist at a last-minute photoshoot. I wanted to question why it was happening at night, but fashion is weird.
Since we’re in a new city for a set of weekend shows, I have the night off. The guys are off practicing a change to their set list or doing an interview with local press. I’m not totally sure. All I know is that I was told I’d get the bus to myself most of the evening.
Talking to my girls, I am the most relaxed I have been in days, if not longer. We text every day, but it isn’t the same as when we can hear each other’s tone and get an immediate response. I’ve spent that past couple of days holed up in my room applying for jobs, researching career paths, and doing pretty much anything that keeps me out of Jack’s orbit since the ASMR incident. I still blush thinking about it. I can’t believe he overheard that. He did try to make up for it with a giant haul of voodoo chips, but I am still mortified.
It isn’t until I notice silence on the other end of the line that I realize the girls must have seen my embarrassed expression.
“What was that expression about?” Alexis questions.
“What expression? I didn’t have an expression. I was thinking about poor Misha being sent home.” I rush out too quickly even for my own ears.
“We aren’t buying that. Spill. Lainey is not here. You can say anything you want, your secret is safe with us.”
Groaning, I decide I need to tell someone what is going on and where my head is at. “There may have been an incident with Jack.”
“What do you mean by incident?” Macy asks. “Like a sexy incident?”
“I wouldn’t call the most embarrassing moment of my life sexy.”
“More embarrassing than the first time you drank Perrier and barely made it to the bathroom before pooping your pants?”
“First and last,” I say. I have sworn off the beverage since the incident. “And we swore to never talk about that again, lest I bring up the stuck diva cup of sophomore year or the Bryan Griswell incident. ”
They both hold up their hands in surrender. “And yes, more embarrassing than that.”
After giving them the run down, Alexis is fighting to hold back her giggle while Macy smiles at me sympathetically. “Is that the only thing that has happened?”
“I guess? Things have been weird since Lainey left. At first he was extra annoying trying to keep my mind off it, but since the incident he has been super sweet. And then there was the moment we had at the honky tonk in Dallas and another once in his dressing room . . . I don’t know.” I pull a pillow onto my face and release a mini scream into it.
“When was the last time you got laid?” Alexis asks.
“Excuse me, ma’am!” I exclaim at the same time Macy answers, “A while.”
I let out a huff. “I don’t exactly have ample opportunities when living on a bus with three protective older brothers.”
“Only two of those boys think of you as a sister, girl. But I see your point. What about self-care ? Are you doing any of that?”
“When would I have managed that between a bus full of men and sharing a bed with Lainey? The shower isn’t exactly roomy.”
“You’re alone now,” she suggests, eyebrows waggling.
“I don’t know.”
“I think she’s right,” Macy agrees. Shit. It’s never good when they both agree. Their whole opposites attract thing is what balances out the group. As much as I hate to admit it, they may be on to something. My sexual frustration is through the roof. The rare times I can’t avoid Jack, everything he does turns me on.
Strumming his guitar, hot. The way he swallows down his crappy coffee first thing in the morning? Tantalizing. Wondering if he’s thinking about me when he’s lying in his bunk feet away? Full body tingles.
“She’s thinking about it right now,” Alexis teases.
I shoot her a glare. “You may have a point. ”
“Of course, I do. You’re not the only smart one in the bunch,” she tuts. “How long until they get back?”
“I’m not sure, but it shouldn’t matter if I’m in my room.”
“We’ll leave you to it,” Macy says with a smirk.
“Let me know if you need a clip of that fight Aiden’s team got in during the playoffs,” Alexis adds.
“I am not touching myself to videos of your boyfriend, Lex. That’s weird as hell.”
“Oh my God, no! Not of him, of Xavier Dillon. He plays for the other team and is the bad boy of the league. If I didn’t have my gentle giant at home, Mama would be interested in a piece of that.”
“I think I’ll manage on my own, thanks. Maybe you should find that gentle giant and take care of yourself.”
“Maybe I will,” she retorts.
Closing out our conversation, I move from the lounge to my bedroom. It’s only 8 p.m. I doubt the brothers will think I went to bed this early, but I plan to be long done before they get back.
Learning from the last ASMR incident, I opt to use my imagination and not listen or watch anything. Already dressed for bed, I slide between the sheets and get comfortable. Once I’m there, I queue up one of my favorite scenarios. Me, a sexy mountain man, and a blizzard that leaves me stranded at his cabin. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I concentrate, that one is not doing it for me.
Trying again, I aim for more realistic and think about a past sexy encounter. Last year, I was partnered with the lacrosse captain for a project in my communication studies class. We were supposed to be creating a PSA to preach the importance of safe sex to high school students. Research got away from us and we decided to engage in some safe sex of our own.
Running my hands down my torso, I circle my nipples over my thin shirt. They instantly harden under my attention. I leave one hand on my breasts as the other travels down under the band of my sleep shorts.
Rubbing slow strokes over my mound, I envision Nick kissing my neck as he did that night. I shiver as I remember the way he nibbled the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. Fantasy me reaches her hand up to grab his long dark hair. Wait. Nick had a blond buzz cut. And he certainly didn’t have the mustache I sensed tickling my shoulder.
Lifting his head, I see dream Nick has morphed into Jack. I pause my efforts. I am not going to get off to Jack. I do not need to associate orgasm emotions with him. In all the years of my longtime crush, I have never crossed that line. But I’ve never been as tempted as I am right now.
Attempting to focus back to Nick, I don’t immediately stop when he once again turns into Jack. Their voices even sound the same. The ‘fuck’ that left fantasy Nick sounded exactly like Jack. As amped up as my body has gotten, I fear I’m not going to get where I need. I let out a disgruntled noise.
“If you’re having trouble, I am more than happy to lend a hand,” Jack’s voice says again. It sounded so real. Too real. Opening my eyes, I’m met by Jack’s intense gaze. He’s watching me as if he’s ready to fall at my feet to help me with this problem and I’m tempted to let him.
Frozen, I lay watching him. All he has to do is lift my blanket and he’ll see one hand shoved down my pants and the other palming my breast.
When I don’t say anything, he steps further into the room, closing the door behind him. When I shoot him a worried glance, he answers as if he read my mind. “It’s just me. The guys are in a meeting. I brought dinner in case you hadn’t had anything yet. It seems you’re preoccupied with something much more fun than eating, though.”
“Jack-I-it’s not—”
“It’s not what it looks like? ”
I nod.
“Hmm,” he hums. “It looks like you’re in here making yourself feel good but you can’t quite get there. It looks like you could use a hand to push you over the edge. And I just so happen to have two very capable hands. Can I help you, Ellie? Can I make you feel so good you’ll never be able to watch me play again without thinking about the wicked things my fingers did to your hot little pussy?”
I shiver at his question and under the intensity of the way he watches me. I want that. I want to feel his hands on me more than I ever wanted anything. Forgetting what a bad idea it is, I say the two words I thought I’d never say to Jack Ryder.
“Touch me.”