Chapter 39 #3
She fell silent, the whole thing so unbelievable and painful that she didn’t know what to say.
Thor ran a hand through his hair and set the other on his hip.
“I made a mistake, okay? Forgive me. I’m sorry, but I can’t say I didn’t like being with you, even if it was driven by jealousy…
I love you…” Under the weight of his breathing, she pressed her lips into a hard smile.
“…Whether I acted on impulse or not, I only did it because I love you. I can’t think of the possibility of another man taking what I consider mine.
Leaving marks and scents on your body that aren’t mine, because you’re mine, Antonella.
Am I arrogant for that? I won’t deny it, but I’d be damned if I said I didn’t care. ”
“Which means?” Ella hated herself more for the spark of hope born in her chest, but before it could grow, she slapped it down.
“I want you. I tried to deny it to myself, tried to stay away and pretend I can live without you, but I can’t. I wanted to, I want to… but you’re like a damned addiction in my life, one I can’t go without.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can’t be without you. Seeing you and that asshole made me realize that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to stay away… I still don’t trust you with Lucca… Fuck. I just want you to let me be with you. I can’t give you more right now. I want to, but I can’t.”
“Dio mio! I’m good enough to fuck? But not to take care of my son?” she spelled out the unspoken words, the sound of them so terrible it was like blades in her heart.
His expression darkened.
“You’re twisting my words.”
“Am I?”
“Would you trust me? Be honest, Ella. We both love Lucca, we want what’s best for him and, above all, we want to protect him from every smallest danger, even the one that comes from us.”
“Get out,” she spat. “I’m not going to be your whore, you great bastard!”
It hurt so much.
Whore. He wanted her to be his whore?
Her lips pressed together while Ella fought to control the sob, her eyes flooded and with no restraint for the tears falling.
She felt on the verge of collapsing.
God, he was tearing her apart!
Her gaze dropped to the floor, waiting for him to have the decency to leave. Thor swallowed his own knot and controlled the urge to embrace her, but he could do nothing.
“I received the injunction today.” He paused, waiting… waiting… and when she said nothing, added, “I have five days for my lawyer to contest it.”
Her own lawyer had called earlier, saying he’d won the injunction on an urgent basis and that Thor could receive notice at any moment. She just hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. But she couldn’t even enjoy this small victory.
“As soon as I close on the apartment, I’ll leave here. But if my stay here is a problem for you, I’ll go sooner.”
Ella didn’t look to see his reaction. She kept her eyes on the carpet, but she could feel his gaze on her, waiting for something she didn’t know.
The silence grew to the point where she nearly gave up and begged him to leave.
“I love you,” he said, his voice thick.
The declaration that once made butterflies fly in her stomach and her heart swell with happiness now brought only pain.
Again, Thor stayed there in silence, and she almost felt suffocated.
“Just get out of here, please.”
***
The brown eyes were still swollen, as were the red lips from the hard kisses of the night before. In the mirror, she saw the marks on her body. They were purple. In silence, a thick tear slid down her face.
An object. A possession. Not love.
And whore, remembered that mocking voice in the back of her head.
She felt deeply dirty. No matter how much she scrubbed her body, it wasn’t enough to clean it.
The dirt inside couldn’t be washed away.
She had been weak when she couldn’t afford to be, though it wasn’t as if she could have denied him.
But she should have, because a simple fuck wasn’t worth the sadness and outrage ravaging her inside.
She couldn’t even blame him, and that killed her.
She got dressed and waited for her son to be brought so she could nurse him. One good thing the idiot had done amid a ton of shit. Thor had agreed to let her breastfeed their son, but the nanny’s presence was required.
Take it or leave it.
Ella took it. That restriction was better than nothing.
She surrendered to their moment—mother and son—but that day, especially, even that stretch of time didn’t make her feel better.
It was a little after ten-thirty in the morning when Antonella went down to the ground floor and found three strangers entering the living room after a tour of the pool.
“I’m definitely taking it,” the man said happily.
The guy was holding hands with a short woman with brown hair. There was also another woman in a suit, carrying a folder. She celebrated.
“You can be sure you’ve made an excellent choice.”
“I’m sure of it, Mrs. Flores.” The man looked at the woman beside him with love. “It’s perfect for us to start our family.”
Antonella’s heart sank.
“When can we make it ours?” the woman asked.
“Today, even. Mr. Castellammare is in a hurry and left the paperwork practically ready. It’s just…”
Ella didn’t need to hear anything else to understand what was happening behind her back. God, how could she have been so stupid? The lawyer had warned that if he filed a motion to contest the injunction, the process would drag on.
Long enough for him to disappear with Lucca.
The thought froze her with horror. Ella acted then, feeling anguish grow at a terrifying speed. She returned to her room, grabbed her purse, and left.
Moments later, she was knocking on the door with latent desperation, her eyes alarmed and full of tears of pure despair.
“Ella? What…?”
“You have to help me! Heithor, h-he’s going to… The mansion… Dio, he’s going to move out. He’s leaving with Lucca. He’s going to disappear with my baby. He… I’m going to lose him…”