Chapter 10
. . .
Vesper
Two hands, belonging to Silas, wrap underneath my ass as he peels me from the couch and starts walking us through to my bedroom.
It’s late at night, and once again, I fell asleep with my head resting on Silas’s shoulder, the smell of his cologne acting like a drug and knocking me unconscious.
Keeping my eyes closed, I feel the comforting weight of my duvet settle over my body as he sets me down gently on the mattress.
I can sense him lingering in my bedroom.
Silas has always fascinated me, even when I was determined not to let it show. But now, having spent more time with him over these past three weeks, I’m struggling to deny that fascination has morphed into something more, and I’m growing feelings for a man I’ve always thought was hot.
When light footsteps move toward my bedroom door, I whisper the word “stay.”
It hangs between us as I wait and see what he’ll do next. If he turns and walks away, then I’ll know he feels awkward, climbing into my bed without the excuse of a pizza resting in our laps or the tension of a thriller movie granting me license to snuggle further into the safety of his presence.
At the sound of a belt buckle, I can’t help but crack an eyelid, just in time to appreciate Silas as he removes his blue dress shirt, his fingers moving from one button to the next.
Drenched in moonlight filtering into the room, his chiseled body is more glorious than I could’ve imagined, a legacy from thousands of hard hours in the gym.
We make eye contact as I shift back toward the wall and rest my head on a pillow.
“I’ll overheat if I get into bed fully dressed.” His eyes drop down his body at the same time I take him in once more. “But if you want me to wear a shirt, then I can.”
I flip back the duvet, silently telling him to get his ass in bed and stop worrying.
Silas has always shown me nothing but respect, even when I pushed him away in the past.
He settles down beside me, initially staring up at the ceiling before he turns to face me, our mouths only a few inches apart.
Five minutes ago, I was fast asleep, and now I couldn’t be more awake if I’d nailed three cups of strong coffee.
“I’m going to go all cliché for a second and ask what you’re thinking about.”
I press my lips together, searching for an appropriate response because how hot you are doesn’t seem entirely suitable for this moment.
Or maybe ever, given who I am to him.
“How grateful I am to have you here right now,” I finally say.
A warm, large palm rests on my hip, radiating heat through my nightwear and shooting tingles down my spine.
“There isn’t another place on this earth I’d rather be than here, with you, Knockout.”
I smile at that and also the nickname I seem to have gotten.
“Why do you call me Knockout?”
His fingertips press gently into my flesh. “You don’t think it suits you?”
I shrug my left shoulder. “Whenever you call me that, all I can think about is boxing.”
Silas blows a laugh out into the room, face edging a tiny bit closer to mine. “I guess I can see the accuracy in that. There have been times when I thought you might take a swing at me.”
I shift forward until my chest brushes lightly against his, and I see the hitch in his breathing.
“Am I too close?” I ask, wanting to repay the respect he showed me earlier.
After a beat, he shakes his head gently, pulling my hips into his.
I look down at where we’re connected, even though the duvet is covering us both.
“I call you Knockout for a number of reasons.”
“Tell me what they are,” I quietly demand.
He thinks about it for a second before shaking his head again. “I don’t think that would be a wise move for either of us, Ves. Not at the moment.”
My mind races, a plea for him to confirm our mutual attraction dancing on the tip of my tongue.
Would I sleep with my ex-boyfriend’s brother? I’m not sure. But the fact that I’m questioning it now reveals the way my inhibitions crumble each time I’m in his company.
Silas swallows thickly as we both continue gazing at each other, lost in a world of jumbled-up thoughts.
“Tell me about your family.”
I pull back an inch, smiling again. “You already know I’m practically estranged from my parents since both of them are assholes, and my sister, Naomi, lives in Cincinnati.”
He nods subtly. “True, but I wouldn’t say that’s in-depth knowledge, would you?”
I wiggle my brows at him suggestively. “What else do you want to know?”
Silas blushes, and, damn, I didn’t expect a six-foot-five hockey player with his feet hanging off the end of my bed to embarrass so easily.
“You’re kind of cute—you know that?” I tease. “Oh my God!” I pinch his right cheek lightly. “You’re turning pinker.” I deepen my voice until it’s gruff and manly. “Does the big bad hockey player have a sensitive si—”
A rough palm cups my own cheek, cutting off my mocking ramble.
“Yes, Vesper. This big bad hockey player has a sensitive side, and he does blush when he’s lying next to a girl he …”
Silas chews on the corner of his lip, and I stay very still and quiet, desperate for him to finish his sentence.
He closes his eyes and sets the words free. “A girl he likes.”
Blue irises reappear, but they’re darker than before, a weight of intensity turning them almost navy.
“You like me?” I ask. “As in more than a friend?”
A deep crease forms between his brows. “You have no idea how much more.”
I pull closer to him, desperate for him to kiss me, just so I can see what it’s like.
Silas drops his hand from my hip but cups my cheek tighter. “But I’m not about to lay it all on you tonight, Ves. You’re going through a lot.”
My eyes fall to his mouth. “Do you want to kiss me?”
A pained noise leaves him, and I can’t help but find it funny.
“I’ll say it again—you have no idea how much.”
I have so many questions, a burning need to explore whatever this is between us urging me to push Silas harder in the hope that he will seal his mouth over mine, even if it’s to just shut me up.
“Do you wish that you had a bigger family?”
His question hits me square in the chest, but not necessarily in a bad way. Other than Drew and my sister, there are very few people who have taken a genuine interest in my life.
Everything this man does for me is with kindness and care. Thirty seconds ago, he could’ve kissed me—and likely taken things further—but he didn’t; he held back.
How many men would demonstrate that kind of restraint? Not the guys I’ve known in my life so far—that’s for damn sure.
The least I can give Silas is my truth.
“I’ve always wanted the big family, the white picket fence, and a loving husband. The ‘perfect life,’ as society often portrays it.”
Silas considers my answer for a second. “Do you think you feel that way because you’ve only had your sister? I know your parents divorced when you were young.”
“Maybe,” I muse. “Mom and Dad never really wanted kids; they were too wrapped up in their own careers. And Mom …” I scoff.
“She slowly stopped returning my calls after I moved out. I barely hear from her anymore. I think if I were an only child, their lack of interest in my life would’ve hit me harder.
At least I have a sister, even if we rarely get a chance to see each other. ”
“I think of myself as an only child.”
Silas’s statement has me rearing back.
“Or at least, I do now,” he continues. “Sure, I technically have a brother, but we’re nothing alike, even if we do share a biological mother.”
The sadness in Silas’s eyes settles inside me, and I search beneath the duvet until I find his hand, bringing it back to my hip.
“Do you want a family one day?” I whisper.
We aren’t together or dating, but the question feels sizable regardless.
Silas’s hand tenses. “I’ve never really thought about it. Never really allowed my brain to go there because I haven’t dated anyone seriously enough.”
“I get that,” I say. “In the beginning, Kane felt like he could be dad material. Now, I can’t think of a more unsuitable father if I tried.”
We lock eyes again. This time, I’m sure he’s going to kiss me.
Silas wets his full lips, gaze moving between my eyes.
“I’m not hiding anything else from you,” I say. “Kane’s number is still blocked, and it will be forever.”
He grins, obviously amused at how easily I can read his thoughts, although I can’t deny the relief as it flashes through his intense eyes.
“Nearly all of my life—whether on the ice or off it—I’ve let my fists do the talking, just so I don’t run the risk of letting people see the real me.
But with you, Ves, you seem to have this way of making me crumble whenever I set my eyes on you.
” He laughs to himself. “Like now, for instance. I should be climbing out of your bed, pulling on my shoes, and heading home. Not thinking about how I can kiss you and slide my hand from your hip to between your thighs.”
I squeeze my legs together, anticipation settling as a needy ache in my core.
“My brother, for all intents and purposes, is a fucking idiot.”
I almost choke on my own breath, caught between a laugh and a scoff. “Go ahead, Si. Say it like it is.”
At this point, our lips are mere millimeters apart, although I don’t think tonight will be the time he kisses me. If it was, then he’d have done it already. Silas has always struck me as a guy who will take what he wants when he thinks it’s right.
“Okay, Knockout, since we’re playing that game, then I’ll elaborate. He’s a fucking idiot to let such a beautiful woman slip through his hands and into mine.”