Chapter 11
. . .
Silas
Kane’s place is worse than usual when I push through his partially open front door and step into the hallway.
An empty beer bottle sits on the console table, which I know belongs to Vesper because she came home with it one day after work, having found it in a thrift store.
The way I want to rip it from his apartment and march it back to my girl only kicks up my rage another notch—something that’s already been simmering for the past five days since I left Vesper’s place the night after we shared a bed.
Nothing happened; we didn’t even kiss. Did I want to?
Absolutely I did, but Vesper needed my presence to feel safe, not for me to take advantage of a situation, which she could go on to regret the next morning.
If and when she ever wants me for more than a friend, it will be on her terms and because I’m certain she’s comfortable.
Unlike this fucking asshole.
“Kane.” My voice echoes through the apartment, a sharp edge to it, which I don’t attempt to hide.
Paying him a visit while I’m in this kind of mood is probably unwise, but I haven’t seen him in weeks, and my anger shows no sign of wavering. I don’t know how many more times I can show up for this piece of shit, all in the name of keeping a promise to my mom.
“Kane!” I grumble again, only louder this time.
“In here,” an impatient voice calls from the living room.
I don’t bother removing my sneakers. The floors in this place are filthier than the sidewalks, and I don’t plan on staying beyond the next five minutes.
It’s not lost on me that I’m taking a risk, being here. Somehow, I need to straddle the line of making sure he never shows up at Vesper’s apartment again and not revealing how close we’ve gotten over the past few weeks.
Oh, and not beating the shit out of him the second I lay eyes on his smarmy face.
As predicted, his smirk is the first thing I find when I walk into a room that makes the hallway look like a doctor’s office.
It’s fucking disgusting.
“Long time no see, stranger,” Kane slurs, his cold gray eyes are glazed over, and his dark blond hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in days.
I hadn’t planned on taking a seat during my visit, but I couldn’t anyway because trash lines the whole couch. From memory, the cushions used to be a sage green, but from what I can make out today, they look grayer.
My stomach roils at how gross the place is.
Kane has lost all motivation to care for himself or his surroundings, but I still find it hard to muster a shred of empathy or concern. This mess is of his own making and because Vesper has finally stood strong on her decision to leave him.
Pride swamps my chest.
“It fucking stinks in here,” I point out. “This place is a health hazard.”
Kane picks up his latest beer bottle and takes a large pull from it. Unbothered by my observations.
“Where are you finding the funds for that?” I tip my chin at the bottle, knowing for a fact that money is tight since I haven’t wired any cash to him in a while.
He examines the bottle and shrugs, the same grin still playing on his lips. “Took an extra job, delivering takeout.”
I find that hard to believe. The guy can barely hold down his job as an attendant in a gas station, let alone work any more hours.
For the benefit of why I actually came here, I choose to push past the lie about his new job and get down to the point.
“Good thing you have a second job because I don’t think wiring you money is a good idea any longer.”
That wipes the fucking smirk from his face, and he sits up in his chair.
“Why not?”
I motion to the bottle in his hand again. “Because I don’t want to fund a habit that is getting more out of control each time I see you.”
He snarls and flops back into the seat. “The older you get, the more judgmental you become. Mom would be disappointed in you.”
I was waiting on the gaslighting, although I didn’t predict him to start so soon into the conversation.
“I’m not paying for my brother to ruin his liver,” I calmly reply, hating that I have to acknowledge that we’re related. In truth, I’m not paying for Kane to drink to excess and then show up at Vesper’s apartment, demanding access to her floor.
He scoffs. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of how much I’m drinking?”
My next sentence is where I need to be really fucking careful.
“Really?” I aim to sound casual. “Because that’s not what I heard from Vesper when she showed up at one of our games the other night with a friend. She told me that you’ve been stalking her and got kicked out of the building by security.”
I can’t be sure if it’s anger or embarrassment that paints his face red. It’s probably the former because this guy has no shame.
“Why is she talking shit about me?”
“She isn’t.”
He leaps to his feet and begins pacing the room, downing the rest of his beer as he continues to spiral.
“Your behavior is intimidating, and you scared the shit out of an innocent woman. Do better. Next time, security might not be so lenient, and you’ll be spending the night in a cell. I won’t be coming to bail you out either.”
He spins around to face me. Fury in his features.
“And you would know all about the inside of a jail cell, wouldn’t you, Silas?
How many nights have you spent in one because you couldn’t keep your fists to yourself?
” He shakes his head and sets his empty bottle down on the window ledge, where he’s already forming a collection.
“Although jail time runs in the Stanton bloodline, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. ”
I step toward him. Honestly, I couldn’t give a fuck what he thinks about me; he has no place passing judgment on my past, given his current reality. I’m mad as hell that he still isn’t showing an ounce of remorse for what he did to Vesper, even now, after I’ve called him out on it.
“You never loved her, did you?” I bite out, unable to temper my emotions.
“She made it really difficult to love her,” he volleys back immediately. “Vesper was a pain in the ass ninety percent of the time, and the other ten percent, she was at work.”
He snorts a laugh, and my fingers twitch at my sides.
“Leave her alone.” I enunciate each word. “Or I’ll happily see the inside of a cell again once I’ve taught you a few lessons.”
Kane scrubs a hand over his jaw, which looks like it hasn’t seen a razor in days. “Are you threatening me, Silas?”
Here’s the thing: While my half-brother doesn’t take care of his body, he has always been decent in a fight. If it came down to it, I’m almost sure that I could lay him out, but Kane is a dirty fighter, like his father was, and will use weapons to come out on top.
“A promise is different from a threat,” I clarify. “And for the record, I would step in and protect anyone who was being abused. Vesper or not.”
He looks off to the side, hands now shoved into the pockets of his dirty blue jeans. “I plan to stay away. I showed up there during a moment of weakness. Vesper has always thought that she’s better than me, and that night, she made me out to be some sort of abusive ex-boyfriend.”
I could hold my tongue to avoid him losing it, but he needs to hear the truth, even if I’ve told him it a thousand times before.
“Your behavior is abusive. Just because you haven’t laid a finger on Vesper doesn’t mean your actions and words aren’t dangerous, hurtful, and downright wrong.
Look at the way your dad treated Mom. He lived in a perpetual state of denial, and I’m here to tell you that you’re doing the exact same thing. ”
“Don’t compare me to my dad!” he snaps, searing tension rising between us.
I shrug it away, not caring about Kane’s feelings or sugarcoating the truth anymore.
Sorry, Mom. But I can’t keep protecting this guy. I won’t.
“Then don’t act like he did.”
Kane falls quiet.
Satisfied that I’ve said my piece, I make for the front door.
“Silas,” Kane calls after me, but I don’t stop until I’m standing on the porch.
Oftentimes, I wonder what the neighbor living directly above has witnessed since Kane moved in with Vesper all that time ago.
A part of me doesn’t want to know either.
There’s nothing I can do to change the past. All I’m capable of is protecting my girl, going forward, and I get the feeling that she wants me to.
Despite the cold look on Kane’s face, my chest floods with warmth. Memories of the way she opened up about wanting a family one day hit me just as hard now as they did when she told me five nights ago.
The selfish side of me wanted to volunteer myself right there and then.
Vesper would make a great mom, and I’d happily give her my babies. I told her that I’d never thought about having a family, but that wasn’t strictly true. I have thought about it, and the woman carrying them is always the beautiful bartender who lives rent-free in my head.
Call me obsessive, down bad, a simp. They’re all true.
“What?” I eventually respond.
Despite everything, I don’t want to see Kane behind bars. I want him to straighten his life out and be a better person. Although we’ve never seen eye to eye, he wasn’t this toxic and abusive when we were younger. With every year that goes by, he’s slowly morphing into his dad.
Whether he wants to admit it or not.
He purses his lips, jaw clenched. “You have no right, coming around here, trying to dictate how I live my life. And especially not now that you’re cutting me off financially.”
“Well, now you know how it feels.”
He looks confused, so I clarify for him.
“How do you think Vesper felt when she was forced to miss a shift at work because she was too scared to go downstairs?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “She sure told you a lot of details.”
“Because I asked her for them.”
At least that part isn’t a lie.
“Is there something going on between you two?”
I can’t say that I’m shocked by his question.
Even before Vesper and I shared a bed, Kane was suspicious about us.
It’s hard to disguise a magnetic pull between two people when it’s as strong as ours.
Sure, Vesper never expressed an interest in me because she was too faithful to Kane, but I still couldn’t help stealing the occasional glance at her.
The fleeting moments of eye contact that spoke for themselves.
“We’re friends, like we’ve always been. Just because it didn’t work out between you guys doesn’t mean I won’t see her. We share mutual friends too, remember?”
“Oh, yeah, how could I miss it?” He folds his arms across his chest. “Vesper, managing to worm her way into higher society, associating with rich hockey players and their spoiled partners.”
This guy genuinely makes me want to puke.
“I’m one of those rich hockey players,” I remind him, shaking my head at his hypocrisy when it comes to accepting my money.
“And my teammates and their partners are damn fine people. Vesper has a good, supportive circle of friends because she is a good person who doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.
” I cut myself off, remembering to keep my emotions in check.
If my reaction is too visceral he’ll smell a rat. I’m not idiot enough to believe that if I started dating Vesper, Kane wouldn’t eventually find out, but now isn’t the time, and Vesper and I aren’t seeing each other.
Yet.
Kane rests a hand on the door handle, and I internally will him to close the door in my face. At least then, the conversation will be over.
“I think it’s best if you don’t come around here again.”
I nod, silently relieved. “I think you’re right.”
Turning my back on him, I take one step down to the sidewalk before I turn around. “Good luck with the new job.”
The door slams shut, rattling in the jamb as I watch Kane’s figure disappear through the frosted glass.
Fucking finally.