Chapter 24
. . .
Vesper
“Ugh, why are flight prices always extortionate? Who has seven hundred dollars just lying around for a cramped seat in a tin can?”
I slide my brown ankle boots on and switch my phone from one ear to the other while my sister continues jabbering about the cost of flying to Seattle.
We really want to see each other, but neither of us can afford the travel expenses. It’s ridiculous.
“Wait, no. What am I saying? Of course you can afford it now that you have a rich and famous hockey boyfriend.”
I deadpan even though she can’t see me, “I’ve told you, Silas isn’t my boyfriend.”
“But you’re having a baby with him.”
Switching my phone to speaker, I move into the kitchen and set the handset on the counter, pouring myself a glass of water. I’m constantly thirsty. My boobs ache, and I swear they’re getting bigger. It’s hard to say how much of it is all in my head now that I’ve had a positive pregnancy test.
“And how many people these days have a baby without being a couple? Welcome to the modern world.”
I roll my eyes when my sister doesn’t respond. It’s not that she doesn’t believe in what I just said, more that she doesn’t think I want to co-parent with Silas.
“We’re taking things slow, okay?” I continue, positive that I’d jump into bed with Silas if he walked through my front door right now and stripped naked.
Naomi’s voice turns smaller as she asks a question I don’t want to think about. “When do you plan on breaking the news to Kane?”
The icy sensation trickling through my body has nothing to do with the cold glass of water in my hand and everything to do with the mention of my ex-boyfriend, a name I’ve pushed to the back of my mind lately.
A sharp knock on my front door has me jerking forward.
“Someone’s here. I need to go.”
“Silas?” my sister inquires.
I check the time on my phone, my stomach twisting when I see that he isn’t due to pick me up for another half hour.
“I’m not sure. If it is, then he’s early.”
“Do you want me to stay on the line while you check?”
As much as I appreciate my sibling’s kindness, there isn’t a whole lot she can do from Cincinnati if the person standing on the other side of the door is Kane.
“No, I’m good. I can call you after my appointment with the OB-GYN though.”
“Sure!” She sounds excited. “Ah! I can’t believe I’m going to be an auntie.”
As we end the call, I pick up my cell and head for the door just as a key slides into the lock, and I freeze on the spot.
“Hey,” Drew greets me softly when she pushes into the apartment. “I figured you were out since there wasn’t any answer. I didn’t want to come barging in, just in case”—she winks—“you had company in the form of a hockey player.”
I bite on the inside of my cheek and blink several times.
Relief washing through me. It’s not right that, even now, Kane still has a hold on my life.
I have a right to live without fear of him showing up or what he’ll do next.
I just want to be free of the psychological shackles I blindly let him fasten around me.
Drew closes the door behind her. “Is everything okay?” She cocks her head to one side, studying me intently.
Goddamn my perceptive friend.
“Yeah,” I push out, adopting a casual stance even though my hesitant voice suggests otherwise. “I was on the phone and was about to answer the door.”
Her eyes drop to my stomach. I’m wearing my favorite V-neck red sweatshirt and a pair of black jeans. My clothes are fitted, but there’s no way I’m showing a pregnancy bump—it’s way too early for that.
So, why is she staring at my middle, and why are my cheeks heating under the weight of her gaze?
“Ves, do you have a second to talk?”
Also, why has all the oxygen vanished from the apartment?
Drew’s black heels click along the tiled floor until she hoists herself onto one of the barstools set at the kitchen island and crosses her legs over. She looks all businesslike in her fitted black suit, hair tied in the usual low bun at the back of her head.
“Can I get you a drink?” I ask, feeling like an idiot, this is technically her apartment.
“No, thanks. I just want to talk.”
Tentatively, I take a seat at the opposite end of the island.
Crap. Is she here to tell me that she and Will are selling this place and I’ll need to find somewhere else to live? Sure, I knew the crazy low rent I pay wouldn’t last forever and I’d eventually need to move out when the baby is born, but finding a new apartment right now is not what I need.
“How can I help?” I say, sounding all official.
Drew drops her shoulders and smiles warmly at me. “Ves, I don’t need your help. I’m here because I want to help you. You haven’t been in the girls’ group chat for over a week, and I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but—”
“Oh shit!” I cut her off, brain catching up to the conversation.
Is baby fog a thing in the first trimester?
“Your bachelorette party. It’s tomorrow night.”
Drew’s brows pull together. “Do you still want to come? Mom, June, Kate, Marley, and I were wondering if you were still up for cocktails and tacos.” She chuckles. “I can’t believe Mom booked a cocktail-making class. You could probably teach them a thing or two.”
My stomach churns at the thought of alcohol—even worse, trying to dream up a reason why I can’t touch any of it tomorrow night.
I want to tell Drew so badly that I’m pregnant, but I also don’t want to say anything until I’m at least twelve weeks and in the clear.
My whole life, I’ve been used to keeping things to myself, aside from with my sister. Friends, people you can trust not to stab you in the back the first chance they get—it’s all a foreign concept to me.
“I can make it,” I reply, still sounding rigid. “I’ve been so busy with work that I genuinely forgot, but I’ll be there.”
She narrows her eyes at me playfully. “Busy at work or busy with Silas Stanton?” Drew cranes her neck so she can see my boots. “You were on your way out. Was it for a date?”
Oh, no, just your daily OB-GYN appointment.
“Oh my God!” She slaps the counter with her palm. “You are seeing him, aren’t you?! When he referred to you as his girl in the bar that night, Silas was being serious. I thought it was all for show.”
“We aren’t seeing each other,” I reply, shifting in my seat. “But we are really good friends, and, yeah, I was about to head out with him.”
Drew shimmies her shoulders. Since she’s been with Will, I’ve seen such a change in her. When we first met, she was uptight, and now she’s totally out of her shell.
I was the confident one back then—or at least, I did a good job of giving that impression. It’s so much easier to mask in front of people you barely know.
“I’m so happy for you, babe.” She smirks. “Even if you aren’t quite ready to admit your feelings for him out loud, we all know you two are perfect for each other.”
“You’re a nightmare—you know that?” I jest, feeling my face grow hotter.
It’s interesting that when I started seeing Kane, I never felt an ounce of the excitement or butterflies I do when talking about just being with Silas. And while I might not have dated many guys, I’m not naive enough to believe that things will ever be platonic with Silas.
Not when his kisses are so addictive.
Drew waves a hand in the air, high on life, and I couldn’t be happier for her. “I know. Will is apparently rubbing off on me. Colton, my boss, says that I’m almost as annoying as my fiancé.”
I scrunch up my nose, laughing. “Nah. No one could ever be as irritating as Will.”
“Miss Stone, please take a seat.” Dr. Buendia points to a blue armchair to the left of her desk.
I’ve met with my OB-GYN a handful of times since I moved to Seattle, and those appointments were largely down to family planning reasons. She knows the struggle I’ve had to find a birth control that didn’t totally fuck up my life and leave me suffering with daily headaches and nausea.
“Oh.” Her eyes land on Silas as he follows me through the door and takes a seat next to me, pulling my right hand into his lap.
“Do you follow hockey?” Silas smiles at the doctor, pulling off his ball cap and resting it on his knee.
She nods her head, jaw agape. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that the humble man sitting beside me is a famous athlete.
“Is this …” She clears her throat. “Is Mr. Stanton your partner?”
I look at Silas, knowing that this room is a safe space away from eavesdroppers and my ex-boyfriend.
“Silas is the baby’s father. We are in a situationship of sorts right now.”
When Silas lifts my hand and sets a kiss across my knuckles, I swear Dr. Buendia melts into a puddle at her desk.
“I wanted to be here for Vesper, and I care about her very deeply,” Silas points out. “I also wanted to clarify that anything she needs that her insurance won’t cover, then that isn’t a problem. I want her to have the best of everything.”
The doctor’s eyes linger on Silas for a beat, but I don’t mind; I’d be the same if I were her. There’s something about a six-foot-five hockey defenseman, with disheveled hair and a black henley, promising the world to the woman carrying his baby.
“So, you report that you had a positive home pregnancy test. Is that right, Miss Stone?”
“Yes. I ended up taking multiple tests, just to be sure.”
Silas squeezes my hand a little tighter.
Dr. Buendia smiles warmly and types a couple of notes on her computer. “Trust me when I say that you aren’t the only one to have sat in that chair and said that. Taking a pregnancy test is both an anxious and an exciting time.” She turns to her paperwork and makes a couple of calculations.
“I have Vesper’s gestational period as four weeks and five days based on the date of her last period.” Silas speaks up, staring at the Notes app in his phone.
I didn’t see him take his cell out, and now I can’t look away from it, mouth wide open.
“Is that all research?” I say, pointing at his screen.
He just grins and hands me the device. “Yeah. I’ve been compiling a list of everything we need. From diapers to the best prenatal classes in Seattle.”
My thumb keeps scrolling through reams of information.
“You’re correct, Mr. Stanton. Right now, we have an estimated due date of July 28.”
Silas leans into me, his breath tickling the side of my face. I can feel his broad smile, even though I can’t see it.
“You hear that, Knockout? Our baby is due during the offseason. Could you be any more perfect?”
Tingles overtake me as I hand Silas his phone back.
“Okay, so the next step would be to refer you for an eight-week scan at the hospital.”
Silas clears his throat. “As I mentioned earlier, money is not an issue.”
It feels like I’ve stepped into a parallel universe with this man. One moment, I was wondering how far I could stretch my next paycheck, and the next, money is no object.
The doctor hands me some information and schedules an ultrasound appointment, and we leave the room, Silas closing the door behind him.
He holds out his hand for me, and I pause before taking it.
“You know I’ll never be ruled or owned by another man again, don’t you?” I whisper in the stark white hallway.
Ducking his head to capture my attention, Silas steps toward me, lifting my chin with this finger. “Is that what you thought I was trying to do in there? Own you?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “The way you care for me and the baby is incredible. What you need to understand is, for the past three years, a man who never had my best interests at heart controlled and dictated my life.”
Silas frowns, and I feel like the shittiest person.
“I wasn’t trying to compare you to Kane,” I quickly add.
“It’s just that I’ve invested so many hours working my ass off to afford rent, groceries, clothes, health insurance …
and I don’t want that to change now that you’re in my life.
I want our baby to know their mama has an equal part in everything they have.
” I chew on the corner of my lip. “Including where they are born.”
After scrubbing a hand over his jaw, Silas holds out his hand for me again, and this time, I take it.
“What are you doing?” I ask when we turn in the opposite direction.
He knocks a couple of times on Dr. Buendia’s door and waits for her to respond. “Giving you what I’ve always promised, Ves. Making sure you get everything you want.”